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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:52 pm 
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Nolanator wrote:
I only say excuse me the draw their attention to me before I plough through, not out of politeness. It's to make them realise why they're getting a hardpoint of my body in their chest.

Another fun thing is when standing at the train platform in a position where you know a door will stop. As the train pulls in a slows to a halt, some eejit will frantically pace alongside the door so that they can get on first. When you see them coming, subtly shift your weight towards them and hold your position. It's funny watching them have to break off frantically following the door and having not be first through. Sometimes they even walk into you and you can give them stink-eye. Then when the door opens and you make space for the people alighting, make sure to step across the door-follower to make them even more panicked that they won't get in.
Weirdos.

Chinese tourists in groups have an appalling awareness of personal space and general collective politeness. Spanish teenagers are pretty bad for it as well.


Indeed. I'll happily go on last as I'm pretty content to stand in a corridor rather than grab a seat anyway. You get a bit more room and I'm mostly sat at a desk all day; standing for a bit won't do any harm.

You get the inverse too where people start competing to be the first off the train. It's gotten so stupid now on my homeward train that people are getting up and queuing a full 5-6 minutes before the train pulls in when it'll make about 30 - 60 seconds difference to the time they can exit the station.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:13 pm 
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Nolanator wrote:
I only say excuse me the draw their attention to me before I plough through, not out of politeness. It's to make them realise why they're getting a hardpoint of my body in their chest.

Another fun thing is when standing at the train platform in a position where you know a door will stop. As the train pulls in a slows to a halt, some eejit will frantically pace alongside the door so that they can get on first. When you see them coming, subtly shift your weight towards them and hold your position. It's funny watching them have to break off frantically following the door and having not be first through. Sometimes they even walk into you and you can give them stink-eye. Then when the door opens and you make space for the people alighting, make sure to step across the door-follower to make them even more panicked that they won't get in.
Weirdos.

Chinese tourists in groups have an appalling awareness of personal space and general collective politeness. Spanish teenagers are pretty bad for it as well.

It's not just their tourists. Try taking a bus in mainland China.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:22 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Nolanator wrote:
I only say excuse me the draw their attention to me before I plough through, not out of politeness. It's to make them realise why they're getting a hardpoint of my body in their chest.

Another fun thing is when standing at the train platform in a position where you know a door will stop. As the train pulls in a slows to a halt, some eejit will frantically pace alongside the door so that they can get on first. When you see them coming, subtly shift your weight towards them and hold your position. It's funny watching them have to break off frantically following the door and having not be first through. Sometimes they even walk into you and you can give them stink-eye. Then when the door opens and you make space for the people alighting, make sure to step across the door-follower to make them even more panicked that they won't get in.
Weirdos.

Chinese tourists in groups have an appalling awareness of personal space and general collective politeness. Spanish teenagers are pretty bad for it as well.

It's not just their tourists. Try taking a bus in mainland China.

I only have experience with crowds of tourists or students. I wouldn't like to tar entire groups of people on the basis of tourist and student groups, they're generally not the best ambassadors!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:48 pm 
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People with the big tank cars, always a boomer grey man in them obviously with an exceptionally small cock, immaculate, not a spec of dirt, max 2 people inside, often a blond wife, otherwise empty. Feel they need about 1m between themselves and a parked car when passing, screw the car coming in the opposite direction. Require two parking spaces in car parks, or if they managed to find 3 empty spaces to park, you can't fit next to them and get out of the car. On street parking they're too fat to fit and they don't wind in their wing mirrors. Also breeding at a ridiculous rate around here. Despite being surrounded by farmland I've yet to see a dirty range rover in Harrogate.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 5:16 pm 
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sockwithaticket wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
sockwithaticket wrote:
Plums who try to get on the train as soon as the doors open, before anyone's had a chance to get off and keep going even as a flow of people starts coming from within the train.

Slightly less aggravating are the people on the platform who stand so close to the doors that you can only escape by going sideways through the tiny gap they've left or physically shoulder through them. I plump entirely for the latter option these days.

Almost invariably it's the people heading towards London...

I'm a solid little bastard and am regularly carrying a toolbag that weighs approx 25kg. A good swing with that and a dip of the shoulder as I step off the train can clear a swathe through those arseholes.


I'm reasonably solidly built for a man of 5' 7", but clearly I need to augment myself with a toolbag. Shoulder alone just clears the nearest plum.

I'm just under 5'6" and have weighed in at just over 15st when playing seriously. I'm now down to under 13, but can still clear a path

Jscoop, I'll start carrying a sledgehammer, thanks for the tip.

Ha! My phone changes jscoop to Neville!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 5:58 pm 
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sockwithaticket wrote:
Nolanator wrote:
I only say excuse me the draw their attention to me before I plough through, not out of politeness. It's to make them realise why they're getting a hardpoint of my body in their chest.

Another fun thing is when standing at the train platform in a position where you know a door will stop. As the train pulls in a slows to a halt, some eejit will frantically pace alongside the door so that they can get on first. When you see them coming, subtly shift your weight towards them and hold your position. It's funny watching them have to break off frantically following the door and having not be first through. Sometimes they even walk into you and you can give them stink-eye. Then when the door opens and you make space for the people alighting, make sure to step across the door-follower to make them even more panicked that they won't get in.
Weirdos.

Chinese tourists in groups have an appalling awareness of personal space and general collective politeness. Spanish teenagers are pretty bad for it as well.


Indeed. I'll happily go on last as I'm pretty content to stand in a corridor rather than grab a seat anyway. You get a bit more room and I'm mostly sat at a desk all day; standing for a bit won't do any harm.

You get the inverse too where people start competing to be the first off the train. It's gotten so stupid now on my homeward train that people are getting up and queuing a full 5-6 minutes before the train pulls in when it'll make about 30 - 60 seconds difference to the time they can exit the station.



Same with planes. Some people start getting up before the plane has stopped, despite announcements not to do so. Then they jam up the aisle and wait for another 10 minutes before the doors open. Dicks.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 6:13 pm 
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‘Just’ under 5’6”
:lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 6:27 pm 
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People who sit on a busy / full train with their bag on the seat next to them. Even if there are non bagged seats i'll excuse myself and take one. Sassy teen girls get well pissed off.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 6:41 pm 
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Leffe wrote:
People who sit on a busy / full train with their bag on the seat next to them. Even if there are non bagged seats i'll excuse myself and take one. Sassy teen girls get well pissed off.


Not as pissed off as they get when you sit on their bag. It's all about rocking up, staring at them, then shooting a quick furtive glance at the offending article, positioning and thrusting of the arse strategically, dipping noticeably at the knees and letting out a gentle quasi-apologetic cough to signal your intentions. Cue frantic efforts to snatch their belongings away to safety.

Not unlike sex come to think of it.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 11:14 pm 
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Wasps. I mean, what’s the point of them?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 11:49 pm 
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Rowdy wrote:
Wasps. I mean, what’s the point of them?

I hate the fućkers, ever since I was stung on my upper lip when I was 4. Bees make honey, good lasses, wasps eat rotten fruit and get in my way. Çunts.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 12:48 am 
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Rowdy wrote:
Wasps. I mean, what’s the point of them?


Protestant English have done some great things over time!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 1:22 am 
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Rowdy wrote:
Wasps. I mean, what’s the point of them?


Annoying, stinging bastards they may be, but actually they are quite handy.

https://www.independent.co.uk/environment/in-defence-of-wasps-why-squashing-them-comes-with-a-sting-in-the-tale-a7144306.html

TLDR:
- pest control
- pollination (increasingly important as bee populations decline)


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 1:50 am 
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Gwenno wrote:
Rowdy wrote:
Wasps. I mean, what’s the point of them?

I hate the fućkers, ever since I was stung on my upper lip when I was 4. Bees make honey, good lasses, wasps eat rotten fruit and get in my way. Çunts.


I was stung on my tongue when I was about 8 and could not breathe for the swelling. Two teachers took me to the hospital in the nearest town (15 minutes that seemed like 15 hours), one of them driving and one pressing down on my tongue so I did not choke.

Yes, you could say I f**king hate the little shit bastards


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 2:03 am 
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How about mosquitoes? What the fudge is the point of them other then food for spiders?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:12 am 
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jdogscoop wrote:
Automatic playing fvcking videos. If I want to watch your bullshit clip, I will choose to do so. If you want me to close out of your site immediately, put an automatic playing video on it.


I've yet to meet anyone who enjoys them.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:25 am 
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Tehui wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:
Automatic playing fvcking videos. If I want to watch your bullshit clip, I will choose to do so. If you want me to close out of your site immediately, put an automatic playing video on it.


I've yet to meet anyone who enjoys them.


Automatically playibg videos that follow you down the page when you scroll past them.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 5:04 am 
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Leffe wrote:
People who sit on a busy / full train with their bag on the seat next to them. Even if there are non bagged seats i'll excuse myself and take one. Sassy teen girls get well pissed off.


Chicks commuting with huge handbags on their shoulders that get arsey when you walk past and invariably clip said bag.

:frown:


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 5:07 am 
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koroke hangareka wrote:
Tehui wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:
Automatic playing fvcking videos. If I want to watch your bullshit clip, I will choose to do so. If you want me to close out of your site immediately, put an automatic playing video on it.


I've yet to meet anyone who enjoys them.


Automatically playibg videos that follow you down the page when you scroll past them.


Mobile websites that are 75% ads and/or autoplay videos


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 9:41 am 
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CanNZ2000 wrote:
How about mosquitoes? What the fudge is the point of them other then food for spiders?


Food for a lot of other stuff and also pollinators. Interesting article:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-35408835

Basically only 100 of the 3,500 - 4,000 species of mosquito are problematic for humans and eradicating any species is subject to the law of un-intended consequences.


Last edited by sockwithaticket on Sat Sep 08, 2018 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 9:47 am 
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People with poor spatial awareness commenting on tmo decisions.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:06 pm 
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backrow wrote:
‘Just’ under 5’6”
:lol:

The army Dr put me down at 5'5"7/8. When I asked if he could round me up, he answered that it was still early in the morning and I'd be shorter as the day wore on


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:27 pm 
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pricks


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 6:39 pm 
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Quote:
always a boomer grey man in them obviously with an exceptionally small cock, immaculate, not a spec of dirt


Christ, how close do you get to these people?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 7:50 pm 
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fatcat wrote:
Quote:
always a boomer grey man in them obviously with an exceptionally small cock, immaculate, not a spec of dirt


Christ, how close do you get to these people?

:lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:53 am 
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This is a bit of a British niche one:

Gregg from the Halifax (and Howard before him), are you daft sods really using contactless cards as a marketing point? Most of us have had them for several years now FFS.

While I am at it Captain Obvious can join them


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:30 pm 
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I fully appreciate I am getting old.

Trying to buy a pair of men's shoes that:

a). Don't need the soles replacing after 6 months

b). Can be polished and therefore, don't need replacing after 6 months.

The disposable nature of women's shoes has become a reality for men's shoes.

:x


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 2:07 pm 
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Double glazing salesmen.

One has just knocked and asked if my Mum or Dad is in. I'm 36


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 2:10 pm 
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Able bodied people carrying nothing heavy using the lift to go up 1 or 2 floors.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 2:16 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
backrow wrote:
‘Just’ under 5’6”
:lol:

The army Dr put me down at 5'5"7/8. When I asked if he could round me up, he answered that it was still early in the morning and I'd be shorter as the day wore on


how early was your medical ? :o


(or how late in the eve did I meet you, another way of looking at the exact same shit unfunny good-Cobus joke)


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 3:34 pm 
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blindcider wrote:
This is a bit of a British niche one:

Gregg from the Halifax (and Howard before him), are you daft sods really using contactless cards as a marketing point? Most of us have had them for several years now FFS.

While I am at it Captain Obvious can join them


Does your Captain Obvious have a beard and a North American accent or is he (she?) different?

I actually chuckled at a pun of his recently, thinking that was a welcome change, but then the advert ended with a horrible, horrible attempt at a joke. Here I thought they were going to have a bearable one for a change.


Speaking of adverts, the Paramount Network in Canada (formerly Spike TV) runs no commercials during many shows - which sounds great, but they still have the ad-breaks. So they fill that time with promos for their upcoming shows and run the set each break. If you're watching a movie, you'll see the same three repeated ads for upcoming episodes of Bar Rescue, Ink Master and Lip Synch Battle 8-12 times. :x


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 8:24 pm 
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Twats who accelerate as you over take them.

Driving from Cardiff to the Highlands today, this happened several times. I know it was not me slowing down as I was on cruise control. Usually I just laugh at them, let them go, and pull back in. Today, on two occasions there were cars up my arse so I accelerated to get past the car inside, who duly accelerated as well. In one case, I ended up 15 mph faster than the speed at which I had been cruising at when I caught him quite quickly. He then disappeared off down the road. 10 mins later I caught up with him again, cruise still at the same speed as before. This time he saw me coming and shot off. WTF?

In similar vein, people who re-overtake you when you have overtaken them, or people who overtake, then slow down. I excuse small engined cars that labour on hills then pick up again on the other side


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 8:48 pm 
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Edinburgh01 wrote:
Twats who accelerate as you over take them.

Driving from Cardiff to the Highlands today, this happened several times. I know it was not me slowing down as I was on cruise control. Usually I just laugh at them, let them go, and pull back in. Today, on two occasions there were cars up my arse so I accelerated to get past the car inside, who duly accelerated as well. In one case, I ended up 15 mph faster than the speed at which I had been cruising at when I caught him quite quickly. He then disappeared off down the road. 10 mins later I caught up with him again, cruise still at the same speed as before. This time he saw me coming and shot off. WTF?

In similar vein, people who re-overtake you when you have overtaken them, or people who overtake, then slow down. I excuse small engined cars that labour on hills then pick up again on the other side



In a similar vein, plum who tailgate you but don't actually bother to pass until a passing lane. They have signs that tell you 2km and 400m before the passing lane starts, there's plenty of time to prepare to pass someone.

Actually tailgaters in general, but these ones specifically are acting completely illogically.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:41 am 
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Edinburgh01 wrote:
Twats who accelerate as you over take them.

Driving from Cardiff to the Highlands today, this happened several times. I know it was not me slowing down as I was on cruise control. Usually I just laugh at them, let them go, and pull back in. Today, on two occasions there were cars up my arse so I accelerated to get past the car inside, who duly accelerated as well. In one case, I ended up 15 mph faster than the speed at which I had been cruising at when I caught him quite quickly. He then disappeared off down the road. 10 mins later I caught up with him again, cruise still at the same speed as before. This time he saw me coming and shot off. WTF?

In similar vein, people who re-overtake you when you have overtaken them, or people who overtake, then slow down. I excuse small engined cars that labour on hills then pick up again on the other side


There is always some plum who is offended by being overtaken and then comes flying past you only to slow down again - rinse and repeat.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:42 pm 
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People who change money at airports.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:55 pm 
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whiteouts and other IT system problems on internet forums I occasionally frequent


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:01 pm 
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OhNo wrote:
People who change money at airports.

How do you buy drugs and pay hookers on holiday? :?


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:47 pm 
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People who wish family members a happy birthday on social media when said family member isn't even on the social media platform.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:50 pm 
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People who wish happy birthdays on social media.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:53 pm 
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Nolanator wrote:
People who wish happy birthdays on social media.


Happy Birthday Nolanator [/obvious]


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