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When will the Beetroot end up in the compost?
A week. If he is lucky 10%  10%  [ 3 ]
A few months at best 16%  16%  [ 5 ]
At least a year 23%  23%  [ 7 ]
He will see out his term 3%  3%  [ 1 ]
He will see his new unborn childs 21st birthday from the duchy of New England 19%  19%  [ 6 ]
What, that filthy sheep shagger? 29%  29%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 31
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 1:56 am 
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moved to an unadvertised and obscenely well-paid position as a digital and social media expert for Nationals Senator Matt Canavan


Private Sector that sort of role goes for $60-95K


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:10 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Quote:
moved to an unadvertised and obscenely well-paid position as a digital and social media expert for Nationals Senator Matt Canavan


Private Sector that sort of role goes for $60-95K


Depends if it is a "manager" or "strategist" or a "coordinator" role doesn't it?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:26 am 
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_fatprop wrote:
Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Quote:
moved to an unadvertised and obscenely well-paid position as a digital and social media expert for Nationals Senator Matt Canavan


Private Sector that sort of role goes for $60-95K


Depends if it is a "manager" or "strategist" or a "coordinator" role doesn't it?


Expert is Recruitment speak for "Non-Manager" - it looks great on CV but they don't have to pay the cash.

Like so many of the Gen Y "Executive Directors" that get paid < $90K


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:40 am 
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Breaking news: Prime Minister testing the waters on Joyce
Sky News is reporting that Malcolm Turnbull has been calling Nationals MPs to gauge the level of support for Barnaby Joyce's leadership.
Joyce has made clear he does not intend to relinquish the leadership and there does not appear to be any active move to force him out.

https://www.theage.com.au/politics/fede ... 0vzce.html


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 3:01 am 
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Bindi wrote:
Bob Hawke is probably sitting back right now and having a chuckle. He’d have been truly f**ked if the internet were around in his day (thankfully it wasn’t).




There are a few other differences. Hawke was widely popular, not just with a small slice of population. And he had a tremendous record of success as a negotiator and bridge-builder.


Did he ever get accused of doing anything other than a bit of dalliance on the side?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 3:31 am 
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Joyce leaving (or not) is down to the Nationals


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 3:33 am 
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_fatprop wrote:
Joyce leaving (or not) is down to the Nationals



And the Court of Public Opinion. I would say the verdict is just about in.



And he is on the way out, a fate which he richly deserves.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:18 am 
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So ahhhh...

Baaaanaby's 2016 election campaign ad has resurfaced, as things do.

For your listening and dancing pleasure, then...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn6dZqbF210


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:22 am 
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This thread is a disgrace.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:23 am 
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shanky wrote:
This thread is a disgrace.


The Court notes the remarks from the Member for Warringah.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:24 am 
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guy smiley wrote:
shanky wrote:
This thread is a disgrace.


The Court notes the remarks from the Member for Warringah.


Sort it out

I can barely see the writing for all the hot breath and sticky hand-prints fogging up the window.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:32 am 
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shanky wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
shanky wrote:
This thread is a disgrace.


The Court notes the remarks from the Member for Warringah.


Sort it out

I can barely see the writing for all the hot breath and sticky hand-prints fogging up the window.


Well, it IS the Australian Politics thread.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:44 am 
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wamberal99 wrote:
_fatprop wrote:
Joyce leaving (or not) is down to the Nationals



And the Court of Public Opinion. I would say the verdict is just about in.



And he is on the way out, a fate which he richly deserves.


I wonder if your Foreign Minister will try to blame this one on us too. :P


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:49 am 
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Get to da Choppa?

Quote:
Barnaby Joyce claimed travel allowance for 50 nights in Canberra when Parliament was not sitting
By James Massola & Adam Gartrell13 February 2018 — 2:42pm

Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce charged taxpayers to spend 50 nights in Canberra when Parliament was not sitting in the first nine months of 2017 - more than any other Turnbull government cabinet minister.
Official expense records show Mr Joyce claimed $16,690 in travel allowance for out-of-session nights in the nation's capital between January 1 and September 30, 2017. That is significantly more than top government figures such as Treasurer Scott Morrison, Finance Minister Mathias Cormann and Foreign Minister Julie Bishop.
Mr Joyce was acting Prime Minister for 10 of those 50 nights. Under the rules, Mr Joyce was entitled to claim $276 per night for official business as Deputy Prime Minister and $565 per night as acting Prime Minister.

Nationals MPs have responded to questions over Barnaby Joyce's leadership of the party as the fallout continues over the breakdown of his marriage.
He also claimed for 62 sitting nights - meaning he spent a total of 112 days in Canberra, out of 272 days, in the period examined.
Mr Joyce is facing mounting pressure to resign over his conduct surrounding an extramarital affair with his former adviser, Vikki Campion, who lived in Canberra, including his actions in her securing highly paid work in the offices of other Nationals MPs. The affair has been linked with Mr Joyce's split with his wife, Natalie.
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Mr Joyce and Ms Campion are now expecting a baby boy in April.
But Mr Joyce's office blames the high figures on the fact regional Australian cities - such as Tamworth and Armidale in Mr Joyce's electorate - do not have permanent commonwealth offices like capital cities.
"It should be expected that the Deputy Prime Minister would use the Canberra Office more frequently than those Ministers who have capital city bases," a spokesman said.
Nationals MPs are increasingly pessimistic about Mr Joyce's chances of surviving the scandal, with even close allies of the deputy prime minister - who apologised to the Coalition joint party room on Tuesday - think it may be a question of when, not if, he resigns and moves to the backbench.

But Mr Joyce is digging in his heels, telling the party room: "Every political career has a time of trial."
Mr Joyce's claim of 50 nights of travel allowance while in Canberra is more than any other minister of the Turnbull cabinet, and far more than any other minister of a similar level of seniority. Fairfax Media does not suggest any of the Deputy Prime Minsiter's claims were outside the rules that govern MPs entitlements.
Fairfax Media has examined the records of every member of the cabinet in the same time period.
In comparison, Treasurer Scott Morrison claimed travel allowance for just 23 nights in Canberra in non-sitting weeks, including 11 consecutive nights in the lead up to the federal budget in May. Finance Minister Mathias Cormann claimed for just 18 nights in Canberra in non-sitting weeks, including 7 consecutive nights before the budget.
Like Mr Joyce, both Mr Morrison and Senator Cormann are members of the powerful expenditure review committee and the national security committee of cabinet, which can involve extra time in Canberra.

Deputy Liberal leader Julie Bishop claimed travel allowance for just four nights in Canberra in a non-sitting week, while former deputy Nationals leader Fiona Nash did not claim a single night.
After Mr Joyce, the next highest claim was by Nationals' Senate leader Nigel Scullion, who claimed for 43 nights in Canberra.
However, Senator Scullion is based in Darwin - a six hour flight from Canberra - whereas Mr Joyce is based near Tamworth, which is about 2 and a half hours away from Canberra. In addition, Mr Joyce has easier access to government VIP charter flights as Deputy Prime Minister.
After Senator Scullion, the next highest travel allowance claim for time spent in Canberra in non-sitting weeks was a tie between Defence Industry Minister Christopher Pyne and Communications Minister Mitch Fifield, who both claimed for 33 nights in Canberra.
Mr Joyce's claims included time spent in Canberra on official business over the weekend of March 17-19, before Parliament was sitting the following week; Friday May 12, at the end of a sitting week and on two Saturday nights, July 15 and July 29, when there were no sittings either side of those weekends.

https://www.theage.com.au/politics/fede ... 4z05r.html


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:52 am 
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Nationals eyeing the unthinkable: Life after Barnaby

As Barnaby Joyce's political future hangs in the balance, members of the junior Coalition partner's 21-strong party room are holding fast. Mostly.

But such is the depth of the crisis engulfing their leader and, by extension, their party, they are also beginning to ponder what had been unthinkable: life after "Barnaby".

http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/ ... 1518478984


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:59 am 
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Looks like he won’t even last until the weekend. Was hoping this shit would drag on for ages.

Presumably will be in a high paid lobbyist job in his former portfolio the day after he resigns.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:02 am 
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Bindi wrote:
Looks like he won’t even last until the weekend. Was hoping this shit would drag on for ages.

Presumably will be in a high paid lobbyist job in his former portfolio the day after he resigns.


Gina's fluffer? :shock: :? x(


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:17 am 
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Bindi wrote:
Looks like he won’t even last until the weekend. Was hoping this shit would drag on for ages.

Needs a new poll question in the OP ... "How Long Will The Deputy Prime Minister Last This Time?"

Farva, your time is now!

I reckon within a week. Two, max.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:20 am 
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:26 am 
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kiap wrote:
Bindi wrote:
Looks like he won’t even last until the weekend. Was hoping this shit would drag on for ages.

Needs a new poll question in the OP ... "How Long Will The Deputy Prime Minister Last This Time?"

Farva, your time is now!

I reckon within a week. Two, max.


Done and done.

ImageImage


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:01 am 
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How much worse can it get for Barnaby?

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-02-14/b ... rd/9445868

Quote:
The office of Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has corrected his years of military service, after the ABC pointed out discrepancies between his official biography and his Australian Defence Force record.

It comes at an uncomfortable time for Mr Joyce, who is facing a revolt from within his party over his leadership.

Mr Joyce's office initially advised the parliament he was in the Royal Queensland Regiment of the Army Reserve from 1995 to 2003.

These dates appeared on his official biography on the Parliament House website for 12 years.

But Mr Joyce only served from 1996 to 2001, according to his official military service record obtained by the ABC.

It states his service in the Army Reserves was four years and 10 months.

Mr Joyce's office has confirmed he only served from 1996 to 2001, and requested a change be made to his official biography after being contacted by the ABC last night.

It is understood Mr Joyce provided the initial information to the parliament when he was elected in 2004.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:31 am 
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:33 am 
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NewsCorp have really turned on their own here.. the ex staffer up the duff and the deputy PM.

What's their end game here? Bringing down Trumble?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:33 am 
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Betoota Advocate having a field day!

Quote:
Popular Tamworth highway diner, Red Rooster, has become Red Rooter overnight in solidarity with their embattled local member Barnaby Joyce.

The restaurant’s manager had the brainwave yesterday afternoon and went about removing the ‘S’ from their sign after close.

“I just thought it’d be nice to show him and The Nationals some support,” said manager Randy Bore.

“Also, the community is going through a tough time after the by-election. It’s a tough time for everybody involved.”

Randy says the joke shouldn’t really have to be explained, but for anyone who isn’t on his level when it comes to wit – the ‘red rooter’ is in reference to his adulterous local members iconic RSL tan.

“But yeah, back to the sign. I’d seen it done by vandals before. We’ve actually had the ‘S’ ripped off our roof many times before,”

“But this time, I thought I’d be proactive. Drum up a bit of press for the business. Looks like it’s worked, hey? I’m speaking to you guys now. I might even end up on the Today Show at this rate, have a bit of banter with Karl. That’d be grouse.”

When asked if he first consulted the owner or franchisee about the plan, Randy said he had not – but says all the attention the place is getting is sure to please them.

The publicity stunt comes the same morning more allegations against the red-faced Deputy Prime Minister surfaced in various News Corp publications around the country.

Many of which further question whether Mr Joyce belongs in Parliament.

The Advocate reached out to the Office of the Member for New England for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


Quote:
Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has today spoken out about his undeniable rebrand in the eyes of the nation’s women, and some men.

Following news that the three-times-elected Member For New England is still a bit of a rooter, and evidently still firing hollow points, at 50-years-of-age, there have been numerous requests for centre-fold photo shoots from leading Australian women’s magazines.

Dubbed ‘St George Clooney’ after his time spent working on the banks of the Balonne River in South-West Queensland, Mr Joyce has today publicly addressed his reluctance to embrace ‘full sex icon status’.

“I reject this new sex icon status” he said.

“As much as I appreciate the perfume-scented letters and lipstick kisses I have been receiving at the Tamworth electoral office, I would appreciate it if I didn’t have to blush so much”

“You guys know how red I get”

This whirlwind rise to silver fox sex bomb comes after the Deputy Prime Minister reportedly laid the blame of his recent affair with a staffer Vikki Campion on his drunken decision to lather his neck with a wipe-on-sex appeal sachet.

“I am just a conservative regional man trying to uphold family values. So much so that I decided to have two families” he said.


Quote:
Mutiny against Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce is now in the open, with backbencher Ken O’Dowd speaking out on his way into Parliament this morning.

This comes as a result of the public backlash Nationals are facing from their constituents about the way he has handled his marriage breakdown and new relationship.

However, things are only getting worse for Mr Joyce, as another prominent affair is brought into the limelight.

ABC Four Corners can reveal that Barnaby Joyce has also f**ked the Murray-Darling basin.

The Murray–Darling basin is a large geographical area in the interior of southeastern Australia. Its name is derived from its two major rivers, the Murray River and the Darling River. The basin, which drains around one-seventh of the Australian land mass, is one of the most significant agricultural areas in Australia. It spans most of the states of New South Wales, Victoria, and the Australian Capital Territory, and parts of the states of Queensland (lower third) and South Australia (southeastern corner).

Allegations of water theft and meter tampering in New South Wales aired by the ABC’s Four Corners program have prompted the Commonwealth Auditor-General to expand an investigation into the Federal Department of Agriculture and Water Resources, a job that was held by the Deputy Prime Minister up until his citizenship saga last year.

Sources inside the National Party have confirmed that Barnaby Joyce has been ‘f**king’ the Murray-Darling on the side for many years now, but unlike his most public affair he has been using protection – namely the cotton blue bloods in North New South Wales.

However, this particular affiar isn’t Barnaby Joyce’s number on issue right now, as the media vultures begins to circle in on his baby mama drama.

But Nationals Cabinet minister and member for Betoota David Littleproud demanded Mr Joyce’s critics should “put up or shut up” and to “stop being so gotdam Vanilla about a bit of rooting around”.


Quote:
Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has reportedly laid the blame of his recent affair with a staffer Vikki Campion on his drunken decision to lather his neck with a wipe-on-sex appeal sachet.

Popular in regional pub bathrooms and truck stops, the Wipe-On sex appeal has proven time and time again to be the number one pheromone scent.

In December 2015, a Betoota local admitted he successfully ‘got a root’ after trialling the product in a local nightclub.

Sources close to the red-faced sex icon say after experiencing a renewed interest from passing females, Mr Joyce decided to make a habit of using the sachets, believing that it may help him politically if he was able to mesmerise the opposite sex after wiping his neck and wrists.

It is believed that it was not just Ms Campion that found the Member For New England wildly irresistible in the brief few weeks he spent wearing the leading Australian pheromone wipe – but he was unable to fend off the affair as she was just too persistent.

“Barnaby never wanted this. But the women just found him too sexy” said one source close to the Nationals leader.

“He was really bringing sexy back for a while there. We are all very glad he stopped wearing it”

“…There could have been many more kids”


Quote:
Following in the footsteps of Bill Clinton, the under-siege Deputy Prime Minister will play the saxophone on The Project tonight in an effort to repair his tattered image.

The news was confirmed this afternoon by Barnaby Joyce’s office within Parliament House.

Question Time today was difficult for Mr Joyce and Malcolm Turnbull as they both faced a slew of lewd innuendo and snide remarks from their political opponents.

However, the Member for New England is looking toward the horizon.

In a short statement a moment ago, the former senator said he plans to weather the storm and showcase some of his other talents he can offer his constituents.

“I’m going on The Project tonight and I’m bringing a saxophone with me,” he wrote.

“Never in my life have I ever played the saxophone. I haven’t even picked one up before. But let it be known, I will play that saxophone until you see me for who I truly am. If It worked for Bill Clinton, it’ll work for Old Barn.”

Producers from the popular youth-orientated variety show have defended themselves against criticism, even going to the point of threatening to unleash the network’s on-retainer Gerard Malouf & Partners solicitor on anybody who’s game to take them on.

“Barnaby rang us this afternoon and asked if he could come on the show and play the saxophone,” said one producer.

“Naturally we said yes. He even asked for a little stand to put his sheet music on. Then he rambled on a bit about being a Phoneix rising from the pyres of hell,”

“Apparently he’s never played an instrument before so we’re looking forward to seeing what’s going to go down.”

More to come.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:37 am 
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^^^ :lol:

guy smiley wrote:
How much worse can it get for Barnaby?

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-02-14/b ... rd/9445868

Quote:
The office of Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has corrected his years of military service, after the ABC pointed out discrepancies between his official biography and his Australian Defence Force record.

It comes at an uncomfortable time for Mr Joyce, who is facing a revolt from within his party over his leadership.

Mr Joyce's office initially advised the parliament he was in the Royal Queensland Regiment of the Army Reserve from 1995 to 2003.

These dates appeared on his official biography on the Parliament House website for 12 years.

But Mr Joyce only served from 1996 to 2001, according to his official military service record obtained by the ABC.

It states his service in the Army Reserves was four years and 10 months.

Mr Joyce's office has confirmed he only served from 1996 to 2001, and requested a change be made to his official biography after being contacted by the ABC last night.

It is understood Mr Joyce provided the initial information to the parliament when he was elected in 2004.


He's just stepping on rake after rake now...


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:20 am 
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:11 am 
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:D

Quote:
Classic Katter
Maverick independent MP Bob Katter says Barnaby's future now lies with the media.

"If the pressure continues something will come out."

He thinks Barnaby should stay on, if only because of his popular appeal.

"If you at some of the other options in the National Party, he looks like a superstar despite his shortcomings," he tells Sky News.

"I mean honestly I don't know any of their names."


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:20 am 
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One thing for sure, some Nats would rather lose government than throw this plum under a bus.



Turnbull must be shitting blue lights at the moment.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:42 am 
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Katter :lol:

You'd have to think there's more of this to come out yet with Barnaby's expense claims up for question but it really does look as if they think they can tough this out and if that is how they decide to play this then I reckon there's a fair slice of the electorate that would have had a gutful.

Any more crises that pop up would have things in a tenuous state at best and depending on outcomes a general election is looking more than likely.. perhaps the coalition analysts are taking the long view and looking to break through on the next cycle with someone like Dutton at the helm. God help us all if that came to pass... but I think he's definitely manouvring himself into the role.

I'd love to see the media grow a spine and start taking these cnuts on properly, on both sides. There's a shedload of policy being implemented that should be out in the open and up for public debate which is just cruising through the house and everyone nods and turns a blind eye. There's no independent reporting, no-one is prepared to step outside the narrative and risk some hard reporting, the whole Canberra industry is selfishly and spinelessly looking after its own interests and the result is this mind numbing miasma of mediocrity that passes for political process in this country.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:46 am 
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Taxpayer-funded xmas holiday in FNQ...

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:40 am 
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wamberal99 wrote:
One thing for sure, some Nats would rather lose government than throw this plum under a bus.



Turnbull must be shitting blue lights at the moment.

Heaps of the Nats are ex-staffers of Joyce (eg Canarvan is his ex-chief of staff), or otherwise connected to Barnaby and basically owe him their career.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 4:29 am 
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First Dog.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... ce-resigns

Bang on... errr, with my opinion, as it happens.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 4:42 am 
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He's been put on forced leave next week, to keep him away from being acting PM.

Can't be long now, last day tomorrow, perhaps? Pretty sure they never come back from that sort of 'leave'.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 5:42 am 
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Who says his leave is "forced"? The ABC just reported that he was going on a week's leave, end of story.



It would be lovely if he hever, ever showed his porcine countenance on national television ever again, but I fear that this is too much to hope for. Or for which to hope, I should say. 8)


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:03 am 
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The Senate has just passed a motion calling on him to resign :lol:

https://twitter.com/BevanShields/status ... 8104698880


I'm as guitly as anyone by the way, but the ongoing Barafiasco is diverting attention from some ongoing and concerning issues, not least of which is Peter Dutton.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:33 am 
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wamberal99 wrote:
Who says his leave is "forced"? The ABC just reported that he was going on a week's leave, end of story.



It would be lovely if he hever, ever showed his porcine countenance on national television ever again, but I fear that this is too much to hope for. Or for which to hope, I should say. 8)
It's pretty obvious, isn't it? Turnbull is away next week somewhere and there's no way they're letting this clown be PM for even one second.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:42 am 
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Ever tried to pull a pig out of a trough when it's feeding? Barnacle will fight this until he's blue (puce?) in the face...


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:44 am 
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Just ummm...

this.

https://twitter.com/workmanalice/status ... 6412897281


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:22 am 
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Thai guy wrote:
wamberal99 wrote:
Who says his leave is "forced"? The ABC just reported that he was going on a week's leave, end of story.



It would be lovely if he hever, ever showed his porcine countenance on national television ever again, but I fear that this is too much to hope for. Or for which to hope, I should say. 8)
It's pretty obvious, isn't it? Turnbull is away next week somewhere and there's no way they're letting this clown be PM for even one second.



I don't think you understand the realities of the rule of political law in Australia. If the Barnacle wanted to stay and be humiliated as Acting Prime Minister, he would have.


Do you really think that they (whoever they are) can control the bugger? He is in a position of great power, like it or not.


If the mythical "they" could control him, he would be out the door before they could say "here's your Akubra"


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 12:22 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 11:16 am
Posts: 1868
Location: I raro i te maunga
Quote:
Australian Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce's 'shocking error' forces ban on MPs having sexual relations with staff

"Barnaby made a shocking error of judgment in having an affair with a young woman working in his office," Mr Turnbull said.

"In doing so, he has set off a world of woe for those women and appalled all of us…


Presumably this must extend to all workplaces in Australia? Seeing none of them can keep their dick in their pants.

http://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/201 ... staff.html

Bunch of retards.


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