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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 6:15 am 
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JamesJames wrote:
Hey Assfly,
Hang in there. No magic words or deeds in my experience. I have family and friends on farms all over KZN and we have had about 10 murders or suicides in the last 5 years. It never gets easier. It does help to talk about it, in fact its the only thing really that helps imo.

I lost my brother and sister-in-law in a farm murder and bottled it up for years. Only after lots of counselling and 3 years of SSRI's did I recover. A lot of people on here will scoff but church also helped me a lot.

Good luck, it does get better.

Sorry to hear about all this nastiness. I have a cousin in Richmond and my family are in Nottingham Road, but I haven't had anyone close affected (touch wood).

As you mention, there's not much one can say in support without sounding trite.

Good luck to both of you and I hope you both regain balance after tragedy.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 7:52 am 
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Dumbledore wrote:
Man In Black wrote:
Bobbity, can you recommend some stoic stuff to read?

The big dogs are probably Zeno, Chrysippus, Cato the Younger, Seneca, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Cicero. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is probably the most common starting point. It's a shame so many red pill/seduction weirdos have glommed onto it, there's a lot we can learn from it.

Semi-related, you might like a book called Tribe by Sebastian Junger. He's a bit of a plum, very into himself, but it is interesting stuff. A lot of it is about purpose, how society is increasingly designed to make people unnecessary, and how that's impacting mental health.


"Designed". is a bit strong isn't it.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 8:48 am 
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Thanks chaps. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:22 am 
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Crash, you're a big history nerd aren't you?
My sister is studying history in Edinburgh, be interested if there was any events on in the uni? Seminars etc. Could just be something to go to.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:29 am 
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bimboman wrote:
Dumbledore wrote:
Man In Black wrote:
Bobbity, can you recommend some stoic stuff to read?

The big dogs are probably Zeno, Chrysippus, Cato the Younger, Seneca, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Cicero. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is probably the most common starting point. It's a shame so many red pill/seduction weirdos have glommed onto it, there's a lot we can learn from it.

Semi-related, you might like a book called Tribe by Sebastian Junger. He's a bit of a plum, very into himself, but it is interesting stuff. A lot of it is about purpose, how society is increasingly designed to make people unnecessary, and how that's impacting mental health.


"Designed". is a bit strong isn't it.

No?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:34 am 
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Dumbledore wrote:
bimboman wrote:
Dumbledore wrote:
Man In Black wrote:
Bobbity, can you recommend some stoic stuff to read?

The big dogs are probably Zeno, Chrysippus, Cato the Younger, Seneca, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Cicero. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is probably the most common starting point. It's a shame so many red pill/seduction weirdos have glommed onto it, there's a lot we can learn from it.

Semi-related, you might like a book called Tribe by Sebastian Junger. He's a bit of a plum, very into himself, but it is interesting stuff. A lot of it is about purpose, how society is increasingly designed to make people unnecessary, and how that's impacting mental health.


"Designed". is a bit strong isn't it.

No?



I did a lot of work on "purpose" with my CBT, I'll give it a longer read then.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:55 pm 
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Not sure what's worse: feeling down when life's tough and things aren't going your way, or feeling down when everything's going fine.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:57 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Not sure what's worse: feeling down when life's tough and things aren't going your way, or feeling down when everything's going fine.

I know, I've taken JvdF's injury hard as well. :(






Best wishes!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:06 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Not sure what's worse: feeling down when life's tough and things aren't going your way, or feeling down when everything's going fine.

I know, I've taken JvdF's injury hard as well. :(



Best wishes!


I feel the pain more than he does. I even offered to kiss it better, but apparently that's 'weird'.......


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 11:47 am 
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Good god, I had a panic attack driving the car this morning. First one I've had in years. Thankfully not a major one but thankfully it was at a (long) red light so it was starting to pass before i had to move. Felt like i was ripping the steering wheel off :uhoh:


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 11:57 am 
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Salanya wrote:
Not sure what's worse: feeling down when life's tough and things aren't going your way, or feeling down when everything's going fine.


Definitely the latter fro me, if things are tough I can generally relate to a specific issue and work on fixing it, if things are going fine and I find m getting down its harder to pinpoint a reason and work on it


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:04 pm 
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Witchfinder General wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Not sure what's worse: feeling down when life's tough and things aren't going your way, or feeling down when everything's going fine.


Definitely the latter fro me, if things are tough I can generally relate to a specific issue and work on fixing it, if things are going fine and I find m getting down its harder to pinpoint a reason and work on it


I'm with you.


Luckily feeling shite is convincing me that the world is fecked, life is pointless and people are generally useless.

:((


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:42 pm 
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True Blue wrote:
Good god, I had a panic attack driving the car this morning. First one I've had in years. Thankfully not a major one but thankfully it was at a (long) red light so it was starting to pass before i had to move. Felt like i was ripping the steering wheel off :uhoh:





You're ganna need some CBT, keep,coming back in here TB.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:44 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Witchfinder General wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Not sure what's worse: feeling down when life's tough and things aren't going your way, or feeling down when everything's going fine.


Definitely the latter fro me, if things are tough I can generally relate to a specific issue and work on fixing it, if things are going fine and I find m getting down its harder to pinpoint a reason and work on it


I'm with you.


Luckily feeling shite is convincing me that the world is fecked, life is pointless and people are generally useless.

:((


Not sure if this helps at all when stuck in a bit of a rut, or feeling depressed.

Image


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:46 pm 
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bimboman wrote:
True Blue wrote:
Good god, I had a panic attack driving the car this morning. First one I've had in years. Thankfully not a major one but thankfully it was at a (long) red light so it was starting to pass before i had to move. Felt like i was ripping the steering wheel off :uhoh:





You're ganna need some CBT, keep,coming back in here TB.


I wouldn’t think CBT is required after 1 panic attack bimbo. If it becomes more reoccurring, in that case yes I would think it’s worth doing.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:48 pm 
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YOYO wrote:
bimboman wrote:
True Blue wrote:
Good god, I had a panic attack driving the car this morning. First one I've had in years. Thankfully not a major one but thankfully it was at a (long) red light so it was starting to pass before i had to move. Felt like i was ripping the steering wheel off :uhoh:





You're ganna need some CBT, keep,coming back in here TB.


I wouldn’t think CBT is required after 1 panic attack bimbo. If it becomes more reoccurring, in that case yes I would think it’s worth doing.



It's not his first Yoyo. If they re occur and he's already been anxious then nip it in the bud.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:01 pm 
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bimboman wrote:
YOYO wrote:
bimboman wrote:
True Blue wrote:
Good god, I had a panic attack driving the car this morning. First one I've had in years. Thankfully not a major one but thankfully it was at a (long) red light so it was starting to pass before i had to move. Felt like i was ripping the steering wheel off :uhoh:





You're ganna need some CBT, keep,coming back in here TB.


I wouldn’t think CBT is required after 1 panic attack bimbo. If it becomes more reoccurring, in that case yes I would think it’s worth doing.



It's not his first Yoyo. If they re occur and he's already been anxious then nip it in the bud.


Oh, ok. Thought it was his first in a year.. as in not that frequently.

I developed an irrational fair of driving on motorways 8 or 9 years ago after getting a terrible panic attack while driving on a motorway abroad. I awfully hungover and dehydrated after a heavy weekend. Prior to that I never had a panic attack.
I put up with it for couple of years thinking it would go away. After the initial experience I started to get panic attack’s once I drove on a motorway, was pretty awful. I didn’t go to my GP about it as I had never heard about CBT at the time.
It eventually faded after forcing myself to not shirk driving on motorways. In other aspects of my life I was fine.. it was just the motorways!!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:10 pm 
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Apart from health anxiety it was really the driving panic attacks which got me to the doctor.

Weird thing for me is I was only getting the attacks on empty duel carriage ways and motorways, stick me on the M25 at rush hour and no worries, drift onto the local A road first thing in the morning and mynheartmwouodmrace , sweats start and full on panic ensue.

CBT was interesting as my therapist decided my anxiety was just a bit lower than my patience levels so he rightly presumed that driving at 50 in the inside lane would eventually bore me back into normal driving.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:16 pm 
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The 2 attempts I tired with CBT a couple of years later weren’t great. Didn’t give it a lot of time. The CBT therapist weren’t great or I felt they didn’t get me. The meds helped for me in the end.
You must have been lucky to havd come across a very good CBT therapist.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:18 pm 
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YOYO wrote:
The 2 attempts I tired with CBT a couple of years later weren’t great. Didn’t give it a lot of time. The CBT therapist weren’t great or I felt they didn’t get me. The meds helped for me in the end.
You must have been lucky to havd come across a very good CBT therapist.


It was my second one, I was lucky to be able to afford the treatment.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:25 pm 
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Spoke to my mate at work about panic attacks, anxiety. I asked what it was that occupied his mind/paranoia. He said that it was brought on by the fear of having a panic attack. I had no idea. Self fulfilling.

I had some bad anxiety this year over ID fraud, and worked myself in to a bad state over a period of weeks. Fortunately it faded as situation was resolved. But it was terrible. Could not sleep after waking at 2am. First part of day was bad. Woke early, couldn’t eat. Couldn’t solve work issues. Then drank too much in the evening, to reduce the anxiety. It was a bad cycle. But happy to be out the other side of it.

Though, I now have an appreciation for this.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:49 pm 
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Yourmother wrote:
Spoke to my mate at work about panic attacks, anxiety. I asked what it was that occupied his mind/paranoia. He said that it was brought on by the fear of having a panic attack. I had no idea. Self fulfilling.

I had some bad anxiety this year over ID fraud, and worked myself in to a bad state over a period of weeks. Fortunately it faded as situation was resolved. But it was terrible. Could not sleep after waking at 2am. First part of day was bad. Woke early, couldn’t eat. Couldn’t solve work issues. Then drank too much in the evening, to reduce the anxiety. It was a bad cycle. But happy to be out the other side of it.

Though, I now have an appreciation for this.



The fear of a panic attack ticks away in the back ground quite often. !


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 5:15 am 
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Much quicker and potent than antidepressants and surprised it's taken this long to start to be well known:

http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/i ... zll4t.html


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 5:52 am 
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Burke's Boot wrote:
Much quicker and potent than antidepressants and surprised it's taken this long to start to be well known:

http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/i ... zll4t.html


You've been told to take your Quackery off this thread....

:roll:


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 10:27 am 
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Chaps, I realise my presence on a thread like this might be unwarranted with all my prior FHHD bollocks, but I am doing a serious post here:

Heard a snippet that depression has been linked to low vitamin B levels, and that eating some Marmite might be a very simple quick way to alleviate such problems. So, if anyone is feeling low, can I suggest you buy lots of this lovely, cheap, healthy, beneficial product ASAP.

I should also probably disclose I make, plan and sell aforementioned Marmite as its a lovely, cheap, healthy, beneficial product. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 1:01 pm 
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I have had depression since my early teens (family stuff and changing schools didn't help).

Now 44 and on and off have suffered until March this year when I had a total meltdown at work. Started crying and just could not function.

Initially went to a therapist and this went well together with taking about 4 weeks off work. Went back to work full on and was in the process of trying to buy some rope to hang myself that I realised that something just wasn't right. If I hadn't had that word with myself I wouldn't be typing here today.

I was sullen and moody. My wife asked me what was wrong and I told her. She immediately called the doctor and I was signed off work immediately.

Caused a bit of a problem at work as we are a 2 man office but my colleague was great.

Went to see a psychologist privately and this was the best money I have ever spent. She challenged my way of thinking. Basically on a scale of 1 t0 10 where 1 is no problems and 10 is death, where do my problems lie? I initially said 7 and she told me no. Everything i0 as nothing is worth getting that worked up about.

I lived and breathed work 24/7. I could not switch off and a bad email on a Friday night would ruin my weekend.

The psychologist told me that I was like a boiling kettle and I needed to cool down or I would always carry on the way I was.

So, 4 months off work. Staged return to work in place. Still meet with psychologist to discuss things. I have hopefully learnt from this experience and will not put my self back to where I was. Someone told me that you can only fit 20 litres of water into a 20 litre jug. Try to fit anymore and you just make a mess of things.

Guys, If nothing else, please speak to someone if you are not feeling great. You will be amazed at how many other people out there have had experiences similar to yours. I am fairly sure that no one on their death bed said " I wish I had worked more".


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 5:40 pm 
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Bloody hell WTB, that's incredible going to the brink like that. It's great you've got something of a support network to lean on.

I agree about the talking part. But for many that is often the hardest part too.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 5:42 pm 
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Burke's Boot wrote:
Much quicker and potent than antidepressants and surprised it's taken this long to start to be well known:

http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/i ... zll4t.html


:lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 4:01 am 
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I'm back on a half tablet of Sertraline a day....

Anger and pain management on account of my continuing Rheumatic pain... :|


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 10:35 am 
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assfly wrote:
Bloody hell WTB, that's incredible going to the brink like that. It's great you've got something of a support network to lean on.

I agree about the talking part. But for many that is often the hardest part too.



Assfly, it still isn’t easy. I really have to challenge myself to not go back to the way it was. I should also say that I was on medication as well. I was on Sertraline for about 15 years. Doctor prescribed me onto Cipralex and I have noticed a positive difference. The drugs won’t cure me but they certainly help me keep things in perspective.

Yes, telling someone I wasn’t well was the hardest thing I have ever done. I bottled up my problems for far to long.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 11:58 am 
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assfly wrote:
So my wife's boss was shot dead yesterday. An outstanding figure of the community, she was walking back from dropping her kids off at a friends house. Middle of the day, some guys on a bike try and rob her and it goes horribly wrong.

Even though she's in her mid-30s, this is the first person she's known that she was close to, who has died. What makes it worse is that it was in such violent circumstances.

Although I've dealt with enough grief myself over the last few years, this is new to me. Any advice on what to do or say with my wife is appreciated. She is all over the place.

Boetie sorry to hear this and hope you and your family cope well. Did this happen in Kenya?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 1:45 pm 
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OomPB wrote:
Boetie sorry to hear this and hope you and your family cope well. Did this happen in Kenya?


Yes it did, just down the road from us in Nairobi. She has good days and bad days, seeing the kids in the school xmas play set her off though.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:58 am 
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assfly wrote:
OomPB wrote:
Boetie sorry to hear this and hope you and your family cope well. Did this happen in Kenya?


Yes it did, just down the road from us in Nairobi. She has good days and bad days, seeing the kids in the school xmas play set her off though.

Bliksem. Lagos is also a place where you cant walk outside.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 12:34 pm 
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I have just found this fred. Constant feeling of "this is the end" when ever I get a tingle in my hand, pain in my chest, sore head. Anything. And I mean anything. Frequent thoughts (role playing/day dreaming) of what will happen, what will people do, what will happen to the family, who says what, how do they act.

So went to the docs and they diagnosed Health Anxiety. So first thing was, others feel this too. That was a great weight of my mind.
Sent me to CBT sessions and they worked. Also started Headspace.Com
Both of these have improved my life hugely. I am still learning and practicing mindfulness but it does work. Not easy. But it makes life so much better.

I now get dark thoughts which happen a couple of times per day, rather than dark moods which lasted for days. These happen when I am not doing things. Being busy is OK but simple things like driving or waiting on a flight, give me time to think (role playing/day dreaming) and that is when it goes dark. I cannot be busy 100% 24x7.

I heard some place that Self Pity is very bad for you. I have a feeling that is what I need to focus on. Remove the Self Pity.

Anyway, to all that have issues, real or perceived, stick in there. Talking with others is good.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2018 10:58 pm 
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I've just got off the phone with my sister, my mother has been diagnosed with cancer.
I don't know any details yet but I feel like I've been kicked in the chest.
It all feels so unreal.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2018 4:36 am 
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My partner has been having panic attacks and crying every day for 5 weeks, I’ve had to quit my job so we can move back to Christchurch so she can be near to family and friends. It would be fair to say it’s put quite a strain on our relationship. Especially as she takes medication but about 4 times she has come off it because she is “feeling better”, only to spiral back to rock bottom again. This has been by far the worst episode so far though. It is especially hard as I have my own issues with social anxiety which she is not very understanding of.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2018 9:00 am 
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Floppykid wrote:
I've just got off the phone with my sister, my mother has been diagnosed with cancer.
I don't know any details yet but I feel like I've been kicked in the chest.
It all feels so unreal.

Jesus. Stay strong for her and everyone else. Best of luck.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2018 1:05 pm 
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Hello.
I'm a France supporter.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2018 1:24 pm 
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Floppykid wrote:
I've just got off the phone with my sister, my mother has been diagnosed with cancer.
I don't know any details yet but I feel like I've been kicked in the chest.
It all feels so unreal.


Shit, sorry to hear that.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2018 1:32 pm 
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Floppykid wrote:
I've just got off the phone with my sister, my mother has been diagnosed with cancer.
I don't know any details yet but I feel like I've been kicked in the chest.
It all feels so unreal.


Chinned.

Try to remember how you feel probably isn’t anxiety- it’s how anybody would react. All the best.


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