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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2018 8:14 pm 
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Kiwias wrote:
JPNZ

That is really shitty news.


Yea it is, especially one that has so much to live for. I just had the call I didn't want to answer that he passed away peacefully this morning. I have no words :(( :((


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2018 8:27 pm 
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Sorry for your loss JPNZ


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2018 8:39 pm 
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JPNZ wrote:
I’m obviously a fairly new poster but I just need somewhere to vent. A good friend who lives at the other end of the country was diagnosed with Cancer in one of his kidneys 6 months ago. Straight in and removed it and onto three months of chemo. Three weeks ago they found it had already spread to lungs and liver. An online fund was setup to raise money for the Keytruda cancer drug which isint government funded in NZ. A three month course costs around $70,000, Sadly this only prolongs things a little.

I’ve been informed tonight he’s been moved into palliative care and has days to live. He’s only 34 with an 18 month old daughter and a wife of 2 years. I cannot get my head around the fact he was perfectly fit and active 12 months ago when I last saw him.

People are not supposed to pass away at 34 :((


You are right. My brother went at 26.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:58 am 
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Mick Mannock wrote:
JPNZ wrote:
I’m obviously a fairly new poster but I just need somewhere to vent. A good friend who lives at the other end of the country was diagnosed with Cancer in one of his kidneys 6 months ago. Straight in and removed it and onto three months of chemo. Three weeks ago they found it had already spread to lungs and liver. An online fund was setup to raise money for the Keytruda cancer drug which isint government funded in NZ. A three month course costs around $70,000, Sadly this only prolongs things a little.

I’ve been informed tonight he’s been moved into palliative care and has days to live. He’s only 34 with an 18 month old daughter and a wife of 2 years. I cannot get my head around the fact he was perfectly fit and active 12 months ago when I last saw him.

People are not supposed to pass away at 34 :((


You are right. My brother went at 26.


Crikey that must be so difficult. Sorry to hear this (@ both of you)


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:43 am 
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Tom James is returning to play after time away from the game last season for treatment for depression.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/45147361


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2018 7:20 pm 
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First post on here. Fair dues to you all. Can someone recommend a good book, cd, or whatever to help cultivate a more positive mindset?
Thanks!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2018 7:21 pm 
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Headspace app for your phone.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2018 7:24 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Headspace app for your phone.


So much this


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 1:43 am 
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Sandstorm wrote:
Tough times RB. My dad is undergoing cancer treatment at present and the stress is bad for me too. Talk to your wife and focus on your wonderful family. YOU don’t have Alzheimer’s at present or are even likely to get it in 30 years. So try to relax. :thumbup:



Thanks Sandstorm, V Sorry to hear about your dad.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 1:43 am 
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OomPB wrote:
RB81 wrote:
Don't put a lot of msgs on this board, so bare with me. My mother is suffering from Alzheimer's which in the last 6 months has progressed rapidly. Its at a stage where she questions at times who we (my siblings & i) are, how its possible we can have kids - in her mind we're still kids and lately asking my dad to confirm he's her husband. I am finding this unbelievably tough. To compound it, my father needs 5 hours of oxygen since his 5th open-heart surgery 3 years ago and he has pretty much defied medical science to be here. Then, a little under a year ago, my uncle whom I was very close to passed away and my aunt is going through her 3rd bout of treatment for cancer. Thankfully I have 2 beautiful kids and a wife that give me reason. Excuse the grammar.

At times it can get too much, stress can be unreal and I end up with stomach cramps which last for a day. After they go away I am so physically drained but I need to go on.

Unfortunately, the Alzheimer's does run in the family and I have memories of how it goes - which can be heplful but soemtimes ignorance would be nice.

Vokof nOOp !


What?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:13 am 
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Gday, ive got a nice dose of Complex PTSD from venturing to exotic overseas destinations and having fun and adventurous interactions with the inhabitants. Got home f0r the last time in 2013, went on full medical leave as of 2014 as i couldn't 'switch off' reactions and mind set which were completely appropriate for deployment but not for back home. Its putting a huge strain on my relationship, im a complete cxnt to be around when im at my worst. Been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist since 2014, im making progress, but just lately im kinda convinced that it would best to quietly toddle off so I don't cause anymore harm and at least then my wife an kid would get a payout. I cant go for a walk without arming myself, I dont drink as last time i did I just wanted to kill, and I have never been an angry drunk. None of the various meds they have tried have worked, they just made the hypervigalence worse, have been previously admitted to a PTSD ward in Sydney but had a pretty awful exerience having to resus a fellow inmate who had tried to hang himself. The headaches are unbearable sometimes so have been taking fxk loads of Tramadol for years now, its a horrible drug.

Anyway, thought I would add my 2cents.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:30 am 
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knack wrote:
Gday, ive got a nice dose of Complex PTSD from venturing to exotic overseas destinations and having fun and adventurous interactions with the inhabitants. Got home f0r the last time in 2013, went on full medical leave as of 2014 as i couldn't 'switch off' reactions and mind set which were completely appropriate for deployment but not for back home. Its putting a huge strain on my relationship, im a complete cxnt to be around when im at my worst. Been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist since 2014, im making progress, but just lately im kinda convinced that it would best to quietly toddle off so I don't cause anymore harm and at least then my wife an kid would get a payout. I cant go for a walk without arming myself, I dont drink as last time i did I just wanted to kill, and I have never been an angry drunk. None of the various meds they have tried have worked, they just made the hypervigalence worse, have been previously admitted to a PTSD ward in Sydney but had a pretty awful exerience having to resus a fellow inmate who had tried to hang himself. The headaches are unbearable sometimes so have been taking fxk loads of Tramadol for years now, its a horrible drug.

Anyway, thought I would add my 2cents.


Your wife and kid love you. You are an integral part of a family. Have you said these to thoughts to either carer you talk to?

Your presence is worth more than anything to them


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 4:41 am 
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RB81 wrote:
knack wrote:
Gday, ive got a nice dose of Complex PTSD from venturing to exotic overseas destinations and having fun and adventurous interactions with the inhabitants. Got home f0r the last time in 2013, went on full medical leave as of 2014 as i couldn't 'switch off' reactions and mind set which were completely appropriate for deployment but not for back home. Its putting a huge strain on my relationship, im a complete cxnt to be around when im at my worst. Been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist since 2014, im making progress, but just lately im kinda convinced that it would best to quietly toddle off so I don't cause anymore harm and at least then my wife an kid would get a payout. I cant go for a walk without arming myself, I dont drink as last time i did I just wanted to kill, and I have never been an angry drunk. None of the various meds they have tried have worked, they just made the hypervigalence worse, have been previously admitted to a PTSD ward in Sydney but had a pretty awful exerience having to resus a fellow inmate who had tried to hang himself. The headaches are unbearable sometimes so have been taking fxk loads of Tramadol for years now, its a horrible drug.

Anyway, thought I would add my 2cents.


Your wife and kid love you. You are an integral part of a family. Have you said these to thoughts to either carer you talk to?

Your presence is worth more than anything to them


Yeah I have, Im pretty big believer in telling it all to the medico's as there's kinda no point in seeing them if they dont have the full picture. I guess its tricky for them, it's not like I have a solid plan, but it's been my experience with mates an colleague's that there wasn't any planning, they just did it.

At the worst times I just feel like such a F'ing burden. My father was in a similar situation (ex cop) an while I understand him now, he was a cxnt to grow up under an it terrifys me that I could be like that with my boy.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 5:48 am 
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A mate if mine in DC who has had many brushes with the black dog ended up in Emergency the other day after an attempt....

He's kept my spirits up in the past when I was struggling this year and seemed to be doing really well recently.

Vigilance always....


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 5:49 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
A mate if mine in DC who has had many brushes with the black dog ended up in Emergency the other day after an attempt....

He's kept my spirits up in the past when I was struggling this year and seemed to be doing really well recently.

Vigilance always....


Always.

Hope he's on the mend mate.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:38 am 
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RB81 wrote:
OomPB wrote:
RB81 wrote:
Don't put a lot of msgs on this board, so bare with me. My mother is suffering from Alzheimer's which in the last 6 months has progressed rapidly. Its at a stage where she questions at times who we (my siblings & i) are, how its possible we can have kids - in her mind we're still kids and lately asking my dad to confirm he's her husband. I am finding this unbelievably tough. To compound it, my father needs 5 hours of oxygen since his 5th open-heart surgery 3 years ago and he has pretty much defied medical science to be here. Then, a little under a year ago, my uncle whom I was very close to passed away and my aunt is going through her 3rd bout of treatment for cancer. Thankfully I have 2 beautiful kids and a wife that give me reason. Excuse the grammar.

At times it can get too much, stress can be unreal and I end up with stomach cramps which last for a day. After they go away I am so physically drained but I need to go on.

Unfortunately, the Alzheimer's does run in the family and I have memories of how it goes - which can be heplful but soemtimes ignorance would be nice.

Vokof nOOp !


What?

The standard welcome isn't very apt on this thread, but I've no doubt he means well.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 6:13 pm 
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Today, I contemplated very seriously walking into traffic.

So tired, but the show must go on I suppose. Sometimes I can't do the fake smiles anymore though. It just wears you down.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 6:49 pm 
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Heymans wrote:
Today, I contemplated very seriously walking into traffic.

So tired, but the show must go on I suppose. Sometimes I can't do the fake smiles anymore though. It just wears you down.

Do you have anyone you can talk to?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 6:53 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Heymans wrote:
Today, I contemplated very seriously walking into traffic.

So tired, but the show must go on I suppose. Sometimes I can't do the fake smiles anymore though. It just wears you down.

Do you have anyone you can talk to?


Yeah I do. It helps.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 6:57 pm 
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Heymans wrote:
Today, I contemplated very seriously walking into traffic.

So tired, but the show must go on I suppose. Sometimes I can't do the fake smiles anymore though. It just wears you down.



Thought you had plan dude, how they progressing ?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 6:58 pm 
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Heymans wrote:
Diego wrote:
Heymans wrote:
Today, I contemplated very seriously walking into traffic.

So tired, but the show must go on I suppose. Sometimes I can't do the fake smiles anymore though. It just wears you down.

Do you have anyone you can talk to?


Yeah I do. It helps.

Good. Keep doing it.

Don't hesitate to contact a professional either. I don't know what it's like in France but if it's anything like Ireland there will be a bunch of brilliant organisations which will provide whatever level of support you need.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:07 pm 
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Hang in there Heyman, you always seem a decent bloke here. Don't give up.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:09 pm 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
A mate if mine in DC who has had many brushes with the black dog ended up in Emergency the other day after an attempt....

He's kept my spirits up in the past when I was struggling this year and seemed to be doing really well recently.

Vigilance always....

A lot of times the people helping others are the ones needing help themselves.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:11 pm 
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Location: Over the hills and far away...
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:13 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

How can you be sad after the way JvdF has started the season?!

Best of luck Sal, keep the chin up. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:16 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

How can you be sad after the way JvdF has started the season?!

Best of luck Sal, keep the chin up. :thumbup:


I'm going to a concert tomorrow afternoon, so I won't even be able to watch him. :(

And I still don't have his phone number, which I'm sure is hurting him as much as it is hurting me.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:26 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

All the best with this. Atleast you've taken steps to deal with it.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:43 pm 
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CrazyIslander wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

All the best with this. Atleast you've taken steps to deal with it.


Thanks mate!

Though I haven't much of a choice, as it's been getting me in problems at work.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:46 pm 
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Hope you get something soon salayna. Counselling is so valuable.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:50 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
CrazyIslander wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

All the best with this. Atleast you've taken steps to deal with it.


Thanks mate!

Though I haven't much of a choice, as it's been getting me in problems at work.

You have bunch of posters here who are behind you, in the nicest way.

Grit teeth a bit. Deep breath. The world is not perfect. You must just have the stamina to stay the course and when you do, it will be worthwhile.

Love from Oundle.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 8:01 pm 
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Thanks everyone. Am back to normal (well you know what its like).

Just was very very tired and snapped a bit. Vacation starts now,no kids tonight (they're at my gran), off to Venice tomorrow.

I do see a shrink and its great.

Plans are on track Bimbo, well one at least.

Thanks again for the concern everyone and hang in there Salanya, there's always stuff to look up to.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 8:04 pm 
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Heymans wrote:
Thanks everyone. Am back to normal (well you know what its like).

Just was very very tired and snapped a bit. Vacation starts now,no kids tonight (they're at my gran), off to Venice tomorrow.

I do see a shrink and its great.

Plans are on track Bimbo, well one at least.

Thanks again for the concern everyone and hang in there Salanya, there's always stuff to look up to.



Good man, enjoy Venice, eat off the street and drink the local wines. Hope you get laid tonight too.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 8:15 pm 
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bimboman wrote:
Heymans wrote:
Thanks everyone. Am back to normal (well you know what its like).

Just was very very tired and snapped a bit. Vacation starts now,no kids tonight (they're at my gran), off to Venice tomorrow.

I do see a shrink and its great.

Plans are on track Bimbo, well one at least.

Thanks again for the concern everyone and hang in there Salanya, there's always stuff to look up to.



Good man, enjoy Venice, eat off the street and drink the local wines. Hope you get laid tonight too.


:lol: :lol:

Thanks :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:30 am 
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Just thought I would pop in and thank everyone for their messages of encouragement that you all gave me a few months back. I have done a course of antidepressants and councelling and feel a million times better. I put my partner through a lot of shit with my behaviour and mood swings and neediness but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I asked her to marry me on Friday night and she said yes. Life is finally turning in a positive direction now that I have learned to stop holding onto things and stop letting my past define my actions and who I am now. Hope everyone is having a good day


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:41 am 
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Some inspiring stuff in the last page, you, Heymans walking back from the edge, Salanya hanging in there and now Dragon Khan blowing us all away and showing that depression need not define your lives.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:49 am 
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DragonKhan wrote:
Just thought I would pop in and thank everyone for their messages of encouragement that you all gave me a few months back. I have done a course of antidepressants and councelling and feel a million times better. I put my partner through a lot of shit with my behaviour and mood swings and neediness but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I asked her to marry me on Friday night and she said yes. Life is finally turning in a positive direction now that I have learned to stop holding onto things and stop letting my past define my actions and who I am now. Hope everyone is having a good day


That's great news DragonKhan, congratulations! If she can put up with you at your 'worst', then I'm sure you've got a great future together :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:24 am 
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Kiwias wrote:
Some inspiring stuff in the last page, you, Heymans walking back from the edge, Salanya hanging in there and now Dragon Khan blowing us all away and showing that depression need not define your lives.


Yup, I let other shit define me too long. It was actually my girlfriend who pointed it out a few weeks ago and it sounds weird but it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It is something so obvious but I had never thought about it before.

And yeah Assfly I am sure we do. She's given me so much, now it's time for me to give back and make her happy again


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 11:27 am 
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DragonKhan wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
Some inspiring stuff in the last page, you, Heymans walking back from the edge, Salanya hanging in there and now Dragon Khan blowing us all away and showing that depression need not define your lives.


Yup, I let other shit define me too long. It was actually my girlfriend who pointed it out a few weeks ago and it sounds weird but it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It is something so obvious but I had never thought about it before.

And yeah Assfly I am sure we do. She's given me so much, now it's time for me to give back and make her happy again


wa-hey !

great news fella after your events :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 11:47 am 
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backrow wrote:
DragonKhan wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
Some inspiring stuff in the last page, you, Heymans walking back from the edge, Salanya hanging in there and now Dragon Khan blowing us all away and showing that depression need not define your lives.


Yup, I let other shit define me too long. It was actually my girlfriend who pointed it out a few weeks ago and it sounds weird but it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It is something so obvious but I had never thought about it before.

And yeah Assfly I am sure we do. She's given me so much, now it's time for me to give back and make her happy again


wa-hey !

great news fella after your events :thumbup:

:lol: ffs

Cheers. It's been a really shit last 7-8 months but finally feeling like myself again and not getting bogged down in stupid things and keeping myself busy.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 11:58 am 
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hahah no probs

oh, and you have to stop referring to her as 'the girlfriend' - its Fiancee now :thumbup:

this should cheer you up - you will get more riding done from now until she gets up the duff, than you can imagine. just be careful not to wear out your Bell / tear Banjo string. life is a lot rosier when your nuts are as Empty as a Scottish Trophy Cabinet.


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