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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:05 pm 
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Heymans wrote:
Thanks everyone. Am back to normal (well you know what its like).

Just was very very tired and snapped a bit. Vacation starts now,no kids tonight (they're at my gran), off to Venice tomorrow.

I do see a shrink and its great.

Plans are on track Bimbo, well one at least.

Thanks again for the concern everyone and hang in there Salanya, there's always stuff to look up to.


Good man. I'll be hoping to see you for beers at Stade de France in February again.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:33 am 
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Rough week for my mates.

Caught up with one yesterday who is splitting up from his wife and now talking to my mate in the US who attempted Suicide recently, has had his meds changed and is still feeling like it.

It's an insidious disease.

:((


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:49 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Rough week for my mates.

Caught up with one yesterday who is splitting up from his wife and now talking to my mate in the US who attempted Suicide recently, has had his meds changed and is still feeling like it.

It's an insidious disease.

:((


Rough week for you too, mate. Be strong.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:50 am 
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If any thing, it helps me to help them.

:nod:


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 3:55 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
If any thing, it helps me to help them.

:nod:


I can understand that. Good on you.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 4:45 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
If any thing, it helps me to help them.

:nod:

:thumbup:


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 11:42 am 
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I have mentioned a lass in the US (daughter of a former work colleague) who I am sort of sponsoring in her journey to break free of alcoholism and pills. As noted, she suffered horrific sexual abuse as a very young child and for over a decade.

She is seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, is diagnosed as bipolar and has been religiously taking her meds for over three years now. All good so far except for suicidal wishes when she is on a down swing.

Well, she attempted suicide a couple of weeks ago swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills. She managed to text her therapist before passing out and has just come home after a spell in the crisis centre then a treatment facility. They want her to attend treatment sessions for a spell out of concern that she will try again.

I spoke to her today and she is refusing to attend the sessions, because, in her words, “so it happened, I survived, and now I feel fine, so I don’t need any more treatment”.

She is continuing to take her meds but her response disturbs me, probably because it seems she is almost dismissing her attempted suicide as not being important. Her therapist said she seems completely detached from the reality of what she did.

My question here to any who have attempted suicide, and I understand if it is too delicate to answer, is 1) whether this reaction is common and 2) how you would recommend I respond.

As I said, I don’t mind if there are no comments.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 12:04 pm 
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Kiwias wrote:
I have mentioned a lass in the US (daughter of a former work colleague) who I am sort of sponsoring in her journey to break free of alcoholism and pills. As noted, she suffered horrific sexual abuse as a very young child and for over a decade.

She is seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, is diagnosed as bipolar and has been religiously taking her meds for over three years now. All good so far except for suicidal wishes when she is on a down swing.

Well, she attempted suicide a couple of weeks ago swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills. She managed to text her therapist before passing out and has just come home after a spell in the crisis centre then a treatment facility. They want her to attend treatment sessions for a spell out of concern that she will try again.

I spoke to her today and she is refusing to attend the sessions, because, in her words, “so it happened, I survived, and now I feel fine, so I don’t need any more treatment”.

She is continuing to take her meds but her response disturbs me, probably because it seems she is almost dismissing her attempted suicide as not being important. Her therapist said she seems completely detached from the reality of what she did.

My question here to any who have attempted suicide, and I understand if it is too delicate to answer, is 1) whether this reaction is common and 2) how you would recommend I respond.

As I said, I don’t mind if there are no comments.


An aunt of mine (mother's side) attempted to take her own life using a very similar method in my early teens. From memory her response was very similar and it took my grandmother having to figuratively shake sense into her in order for her to seek help. I'm not suggesting you do that. Just highlighting that it's not that uncommon from my experience.

Sadly, she's now taken to trying to drink herself to death.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 12:08 pm 
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Working Class Rugger wrote:
An aunt of mine (mother's side) attempted to take her own life using a very similar method in my early teens. From memory her response was very similar and it took my grandmother having to figuratively shake sense into her in order for her to seek help. I'm not suggesting you do that. Just highlighting that it's not that uncommon from my experience.

Sadly, she's now taken to trying to drink herself to death.


Thanks very much. At least she is still seeing her therapist and psychiatrist and taking her meds.

I guess I will let them knock sense into her. The good news for me is that she is still clear of alcohol and pills — at least until her attempted overdose. She has disposed of all old and unnecessary pills, one good sign.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:33 pm 
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Less than a week after I launched an awareness and support fundraiser for the Black Dog Institute, I received news that yet another friend has passed away, most likely by his own hand. That's 4 in 13 months... my mate played Club Rugby for Wellington, Uni/Rep Rugby for Otago and Club Rugby all around the World, including Garryowen in Ireland. He was Head Coach for Adelaide University when we met and was State Coach for the South Australian Black Falcons. He was on the Board of Variety SA and a Consultant for the City of Adelaide and State Government. He was my Rugby mentor in Adelaide, instrumental in getting me involved with AURUFC and a good friend, always there to watch a match or put me up when I was only visiting Adelaide. He had a huge and positive influence on everyone who knew him well or moved in the same circles. He struggled with cancer, alcoholism and homelessness in recent years. I tried to reach out and help as much as I could but he slipped away from us. He will be sadly missed...In this time of feast and famine, I ask you all to do what you can: Reach out to friends and family who have become isolated or estranged. Be good to yourself and those around you. Volunteer for a local community club or charity. Join your Union or a progressive political party. Get out in nature, read a good book, create and nurture something beautiful whether it's a relationship, thing or experience. Life is fleeting, make the most of it...


Last edited by Taranaki Snapper on Fri Dec 21, 2018 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:39 pm 
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Sorry to hear that. Otherwise a good post with sound advice.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 4:53 am 
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Taranaki Snapper wrote:
Less than a week after I launched an awareness and support fundraiser for the Black Dog Institute, I received news that yet another friend has passed away, most likely by his own hand. That's 4 in 13 months... my mate played Club Rugby for Wellington, Uni/Rep Rugby for Otago and Club Rugby all around the World, including Garryowen in Ireland. He was Head Coach for Adelaide University when we met and was State Coach for the South Australian Black Falcons. He was on the Board of Variety SA and a Consultant for the City of Adelaide and State Government. He was my Rugby mentor in Adelaide, instrumental in getting me involved with AURUFC and a good friend, always there to watch a match or put me up when I was only visiting Adelaide. He had a huge and positive influence on everyone who knew him well or moved in the same circles. He struggled with cancer, alcoholism and homelessness in recent years. I tried to reach out and help as much as I could but he slipped away from us. He will be sadly missed...In this time of feast and famine, I ask you all to do what you can: Reach out to friends and family who have become isolated or estranged. Be good to yourself and those around you. Volunteer for a local community club or charity. Join your Union or a progressive political party. Get out in nature, read a good book, create and nurture something beautiful whether it's a relationship, thing or experience. Life is fleeting, make the most of it...


The bold part. :thumbup:

4 in 13 months is shocking mate. :uhoh: Condolences.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 8:17 am 
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Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about rising suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming more and more interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...


Last edited by Taranaki Snapper on Fri Dec 21, 2018 2:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 9:10 am 
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Taranaki Snapper wrote:
Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about increasing suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming increasingly interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...


Good bloke, Snaps.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 2:35 pm 
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:thumbup:


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 8:23 pm 
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Taranaki Snapper wrote:
Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about rising suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming more and more interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...


Good on you mate. Really admire what you're doing. :thumbup:

I've been incredibly lucky in my life in that I have not known anyone who has taken their own life in my circle of family and friends. Such a sad and tragic thing to happen. I applaud you for the work you are doing and hope the reward you gain from that helps in some way to compensate for your loss. :(

I'm also lucky that I have a really close family and we will be getting together over Xmas for lots of fun, games and laughter. A time I always look forward to and cherish. Wishing you and your family a good Xmas despite your recent loss.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2018 12:42 am 
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booji boy wrote:
Taranaki Snapper wrote:
Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about rising suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming more and more interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...


Good on you mate. Really admire what you're doing. :thumbup:

I've been incredibly lucky in my life in that I have not known anyone who has taken their own life in my circle of family and friends. Such a sad and tragic thing to happen. I applaud you for the work you are doing and hope the reward you gain from that helps in some way to compensate for your loss. :(

I'm also lucky that I have a really close family and we will be getting together over Xmas for lots of fun, games and laughter. A time I always look forward to and cherish. Wishing you and your family a good Xmas despite your recent loss.



Cheers Booj, I appreciate the kind and thoughtful words, all the best to you and yours...


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2018 5:01 am 
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Xmas is a tough one - Got my Mum over from England. She had an awful experience one year so keeping her chin up is #1 priority.

Keep alert chaps!


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:37 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Xmas is a tough one - Got my Mum over from England. She had an awful experience one year so keeping her chin up is #1 priority.

Keep alert chaps!

A guy I knew from the retail trade committed suicide yesterday. Saw him 2 days before that. Gutted


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2018 11:22 pm 
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One of my best friends had ball removed and confirmed it was malignant.
Waiting for an oncology appointment in the new year.
Can't really celebrate anything, my wife or anyone else have no idea how this has affected me.
:((


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:28 am 
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Shitty news at this time of the year for you both, c69 and Big Nipper.

c69, it would help if you could let it out to your wife.


Last edited by Kiwias on Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:28 am 
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I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:30 am 
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GWO2 wrote:
I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.


Heart breaking for you. Have you any sort of support person or group?


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:35 am 
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:shock:
Kiwias wrote:
Shitty news at this time of the year for you both, c69 and Big Nipper.

c69, it would help if you could let it out to your wife.

I am crying my eyes out now.
Thanks.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:42 am 
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I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:50 am 
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c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:42 am 
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Very sorry to hear these stories...my advice is to find someone you can talk to and talk and talk and talk some more...Freud may be out of fashion but the talking cure still helps, imo...


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:56 am 
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Kiwias wrote:
c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 9:24 am 
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All of us males can be a bit shite at talking.

If you can't find anyone, just write on here.

We'll respond.

I'm feeling better now but have struggled over the last 3 weeks - turns out I fall into the <1% of people who get Anxiety and fatigue from Telfast allergy meds.

Not what I needed starting a new job just before Xmas x(

Gone cold turkey over the last week and hopefully it's passed.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 9:30 am 
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First Christmas without the kids. Very rough. I don't know how people do this every year :(


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 9:45 am 
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GWO2 wrote:
I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.

I am sorry to hear this. If you have people you are close to then talk to them if you can. It probably helps to share.

My mother was this year diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She's still there but she's unable to perform some simple tasks and her dependency is only increasing. Her first grandchild was born this year. It kills me that she will never know her grandmother as she was. Old age is an absolute prick for what it does to people.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 5:58 pm 
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Both my parents are f**ked. Both have dimentia. My mother has really bad short term memory loss but is otherwise surprisingly functional.

My dad had to be moved to full time care last month. He had Louise Bodies dimentia, which doesn't react well with anti depressants, which result is severe hallucinations. Off the meds he is very sensitive to sounds and can't distinguish general noise and focus on voices. He's also adicticted to over the counter pain pills and gets migraines. This all leads to him getting very wound up, confrontational, abusive and violent.

I'm half way across the planet.

Until recently they were both very stubborn about getting help and any attempt to get them support was met with abusive retorts and pig headed unwillingness to accept they're f**ked and need help.

It's very likely I will end up going the same way in about 20-25 years time. I will not put my wife and kids through this shit.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 6:22 pm 
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Along with the quitting alcohol thread, this is PR at its best


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 11:09 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

Yeah chatted to her last night after I had got my head in the right place.
She still has no idea how flecked up I am over this but it helped.
Just to vent on here was helpful. Thanks


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:03 am 
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Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:04 am 
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c69 wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

Yeah chatted to her last night after I had got my head in the right place.
She still has no idea how flecked up I am over this but it helped.
Just to vent on here was helpful. Thanks


:thumbup: ... thanks for sharing as it helps so many more who are not speaking up. This is likely the mere tip of the issues being experienced by posters across PR ...


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:38 am 
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TB63 wrote:
Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...


It's a symptom of depression.

Have it myself from time to time.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:41 am 
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c69 wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

Yeah chatted to her last night after I had got my head in the right place.
She still has no idea how flecked up I am over this but it helped.
Just to vent on here was helpful. Thanks


c69

Good on you.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 1:07 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
TB63 wrote:
Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...


It's a symptom of depression.

Have it myself from time to time.


I can play a track and I'm ok, I can hear that same track played by my kids and I'm in floods. .
Soopy films I used to be immune to now sends me off on one..


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 1:57 am 
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Yep = that's exactly it.

Are you feeling particularly stressed at present? feel free to message if you want. :thumbup:


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