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What's the right decision?
Jeff, you're being a knob, you really ought to chip in with the rest of the office 10%  10%  [ 10 ]
Jeff, you're right, you shouldn't have to clean it if you never use it 90%  90%  [ 88 ]
Total votes : 98
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:12 pm 
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Somebody always ends up wanking in work coffees machines. This needs to be considered as well.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:16 pm 
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nardol wrote:
On a tangent...

What type of shoddy company provides a facility but doesnt provide for its operating costs?

That's like building a school and then realising feck... we need teachers also.

What industry are you in? I hope its not one with forward planning...?

Also, whats wrong with filter coffee? Easy to clean tastes shite but wakes you up like a an alarm going off 10 minutes after you were supposed to be at work.

Fairly common for nice-to-haves to get employee support? E.g. Friday drinks at my current client is on a rota basis for setup, bar service, and clean-up. The worm farm (yes really) at a previous place was shared by the people that took the work piss home. Etc...


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:17 pm 
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I wouldn't do it. Unless you drink coffee, or give your clients coffee. Or do you use hot water, etc. from it?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:17 pm 
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EverReady wrote:
Somebody always ends up wanking in work coffees machines. This needs to be considered as well.


How would you know this...

unless...

my god. This is beyond awkward. EverReady is a self confessed espresso masturbator.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:17 pm 
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Next thing they'll ask you to empty the ashtrays outside. Ridiculous request, is that guy from management?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:20 pm 
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Interesting that a few of our politically left leaning posters don't think that comrade Jeff should do his bit for the common good, indeed the thread starter is usually one of the placard wavers...


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:43 pm 
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This really is informative. People regard worm piss as a benefit ??


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:47 pm 
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Lorthern Nights wrote:
Interesting that a few of our politically left leaning posters don't think that comrade Jeff should do his bit for the common good, indeed the thread starter is usually one of the placard wavers...


As a living, breathing socialist I believe that we should only drink water.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:50 pm 
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guy smiley wrote:
EverReady wrote:
Somebody always ends up wanking in work coffees machines. This needs to be considered as well.


How would you know this...

unless...

my god. This is beyond awkward. EverReady is a self confessed espresso masturbator.


Oh like you haven't done it


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:50 pm 
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eugenefraxby wrote:
This really is informative. People regard worm piss as a benefit ??

Well not as a substitute for money. That aside, does the veges the world of good.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:52 pm 
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EverReady wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
EverReady wrote:
Somebody always ends up wanking in work coffees machines. This needs to be considered as well.


How would you know this...

unless...

my god. This is beyond awkward. EverReady is a self confessed espresso masturbator.


Oh like you haven't done it


Don't tar me with your brush :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:54 pm 
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I doubt that anyone would ask Manny Pacquiao to clean the coffee machine.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:55 pm 
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guy smiley wrote:
EverReady wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
EverReady wrote:
Somebody always ends up wanking in work coffees machines. This needs to be considered as well.


How would you know this...

unless...

my god. This is beyond awkward. EverReady is a self confessed espresso masturbator.


Oh like you haven't done it


Don't tar me with your brush :lol:


Hmmm we should move on


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:58 pm 
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Lorthern Nights wrote:
Interesting that a few of our politically left leaning posters don't think that comrade Jeff should do his bit for the common good, indeed the thread starter is usually one of the placard wavers...



:lol: , I had noticed.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:02 pm 
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A5D5E5 wrote:
I doubt that anyone would ask Manny Pacquiao to clean the coffee machine.

:nod: :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:03 pm 
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Jeff the Bear wrote:

So, what is the right answer?



Either don't clean it, or pour epoxy resin down the guts of the thing latish one evening.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:03 pm 
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Hmm, companies always fail to realise these huge coffee machines need a lot of cleaning. You're supposed to even get training on proper operation and maintenance of the thing. Vanity purchase obviously.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:06 pm 
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I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:07 pm 
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A5D5E5 wrote:
I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?



:lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:08 pm 
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You should have to clean it just for being a non coffee drinking Jessie.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:09 pm 
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A5D5E5 wrote:
I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?



Too far man. Too far.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:13 pm 
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RuggaBugga wrote:
You should have to clean it just for being a non coffee drinking Jessie.


It's quite a lame tanty really...'coffee tastes icky and i don't want to clean it waaaaaah'


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:15 pm 
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guy smiley wrote:
A5D5E5 wrote:
I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?



Too far man. Too far.


It smacks of preciousness if you ask me, Guy. The very next post, Bimbo confirms it. :nod:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:15 pm 
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Zakar wrote:
RuggaBugga wrote:
You should have to clean it just for being a non coffee drinking Jessie.


It's quite a lame tanty really...'coffee tastes icky and i don't want to clean it waaaaaah'


Went you drink strong spirits for as long and as often as Jeff does then coffee tends to have a terrible taste.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:17 pm 
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Ted. wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
A5D5E5 wrote:
I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?



Too far man. Too far.


It smacks of preciousness if you ask me, Guy. The very next post, Bimbo confirms it. :nod:


Very true Ted. Years... decades, of being terrorised by something called an All Black has them tearing their skirts over something innocuous like the inventing of a Flat White.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:19 pm 
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True Blue wrote:
I've been thinking about this, most likely because I have nothing better to do in my life and I'm a loser.

Just lie. If the office is against you just meekly join the rota. Then just don't clean it. Once the conversation comes up, follow this important guideline


Smug Coffee Drinking Hipster Fvck Face: Jeff, did you clean the machine yesterday?
Jeff The Welsh Cretin: Yes
SCDHFF: But the machine is still dirty. Also, it smells of urine?!
JTWC: Fvck your face. I will cut you.


:lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:22 pm 
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Pay someone to do it. Don't you have a cleaning contract?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:22 pm 
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A combination of lying and an obvious display of questionable personal hygiene should help you out Jeff.

Are you good with phlegm?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:23 pm 
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SilverGrin wrote:
A combination of lying and an obvious display of questionable personal hygiene should help you out Jeff.

Are you good with phlegm?


Good with it? He was born there.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:24 pm 
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RuggaBugga wrote:
SilverGrin wrote:
A combination of lying and an obvious display of questionable personal hygiene should help you out Jeff.

Are you good with phlegm?


Good with it? He was born there.


:lol: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:25 pm 
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guy smiley wrote:
Ted. wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
A5D5E5 wrote:
I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?



Too far man. Too far.


It smacks of preciousness if you ask me, Guy. The very next post, Bimbo confirms it. :nod:


Very true Ted. Years... decades, of being terrorised by something called an All Black has them tearing their skirts over something innocuous like the inventing of a Flat White.


And not one wave has ever obeyed them, not one. Zilch. That's got to hurt after awhile.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:29 pm 
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guy smiley wrote:
Ted. wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
A5D5E5 wrote:
I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?



Too far man. Too far.


It smacks of preciousness if you ask me, Guy. The very next post, Bimbo confirms it. :nod:


Very true Ted. Years... decades, of being terrorised by something called an All Black has them tearing their skirts over something innocuous like the inventing of a Flat White.


Everything that New Zealand has ever given to the world summed up in one post. The All Blacks and coffee with milk. No wonder you take both so seriously.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:31 pm 
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The correct response is "fudge you,I'm Millwall"


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:38 pm 
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My advice to That Welsh Bastard, as he's almost certainly known round the office now, is to investigate the menu of said machine to see if it brews anything you do like. Hot chocolate, perhaps? You could steam up the milk and pour it over your separately acquired chocolate powder, for example. Yummo.

Then you would feel part of the team, could do your bit, and in time lose the nickname.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:39 pm 
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A5D5E5 wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
Ted. wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
A5D5E5 wrote:
I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?



Too far man. Too far.


It smacks of preciousness if you ask me, Guy. The very next post, Bimbo confirms it. :nod:


Very true Ted. Years... decades, of being terrorised by something called an All Black has them tearing their skirts over something innocuous like the inventing of a Flat White.


Everything that New Zealand has ever given to the world summed up in one post. The All Blacks and coffee with milk. No wonder you take both so seriously.


Absolutely. We take it so seriously a transplanted Welshman has started a thread about cleaning a coffee machine.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:41 pm 
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I think a few bannings will calm things down...


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:45 pm 
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A5D5E5 wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
Ted. wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
A5D5E5 wrote:
I wonder if the machine says "We invented that" if you select coffee with milk?



Too far man. Too far.


It smacks of preciousness if you ask me, Guy. The very next post, Bimbo confirms it. :nod:


Very true Ted. Years... decades, of being terrorised by something called an All Black has them tearing their skirts over something innocuous like the inventing of a Flat White.


Everything that New Zealand has ever given to the world summed up in one post. The All Blacks and coffee with milk. No wonder you take both so seriously.


Chocolate fish as well. You fudge stick


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:46 pm 
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ah yes - but did they give us avocado latte

Milk with coffee alone is like a pencil with no lead


....pointless


Last edited by nardol on Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:46 pm 
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Denirostaxidriver wrote:

Chocolate fish as well. You fudge stick



Buzz Bars on ice. :o


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:47 pm 
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guy smiley wrote:
A5D5E5 wrote:
guy smiley wrote:
Ted. wrote:
guy smiley wrote:


Too far man. Too far.


It smacks of preciousness if you ask me, Guy. The very next post, Bimbo confirms it. :nod:


Very true Ted. Years... decades, of being terrorised by something called an All Black has them tearing their skirts over something innocuous like the inventing of a Flat White.


Everything that New Zealand has ever given to the world summed up in one post. The All Blacks and coffee with milk. No wonder you take both so seriously.


Absolutely. We take it so seriously a transplanted Welshman has started a thread about cleaning a coffee machine.


I read the thread as being more about the social pressure he is under for wishing to maintain his own culture. No doubt he feels pressured into joining in the pre-cleaning haka as well when he would much rather spend 5 minutes applying fake tan instead.


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