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 Post subject: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:35 pm 
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I'm pretty anonymous here so it's a safe enough place for discussion. Found out the missus is pregnant there a couple of weeks ago and we're struggling keeping the pregnancy under wraps for the first trimester. She's a smoker, likes a pint, so it's pretty obvious to anyone the least bit inquisitive. Also we're slap bang in the middle of wedding season. Got half a dozen of the buggers over the next couple of months. Anyone got any advice for weaselling your way out of the awkward questions? Cheers


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:36 pm 
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Tummy bug. Heavy Cold.

Congratulations!


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:38 pm 
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Congrats!

Antibiotic course.


This number 1?


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:38 pm 
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Congrats, Hermie :thumbup:

Tell people she is seeping beneath the grey shadow of an autumnal ennui.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:39 pm 
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yep, say she has Bronchitus so has to lay off the ciggies & beers whilst she gets better.

After 1st trimester and god willing all is ok, then you can let everyone know "All hail my amazing Jizz powers" !


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:39 pm 
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Tell her to keep smoking and keep that pesky baby weight down - make the whole fanny explosion at the end easier.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:40 pm 
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Alternatively, tell everyone she's quit the fags and then keep her off them after everything is over?


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:40 pm 
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Respiratory infection. Heavy course of antibiotics.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:40 pm 
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Thinly veiled......................

Congrats :)


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:42 pm 
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Thanks dudes, yep number one. Shitting it! :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:43 pm 
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ZappaMan wrote:
Congrats, Hermie :thumbup:

Tell people she is seeping beneath the grey shadow of an autumnal ennui.

:lol:

Had a wedding there on Sunday and just was doubling up on the drinks myself and getting her to hold one. Not the most fool proof strategy


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:43 pm 
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Congrats! The day they arrive is the first day of the rest of your life. And the end of sleeping through the night.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:44 pm 
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henry wrote:
Respiratory infection. Heavy course of antibiotics.

Can't say antibiotics every time though. We'll be seeing the same heads at most of these weddings. Ah sure, it's only a few weeks I suppose.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:46 pm 
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Nolanator wrote:
Alternatively, tell everyone she's quit the fags and then keep her off them after everything is over?

That's definitely the plan. She's refusing to tell people she's quit outright though. I'll wear her down.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:46 pm 
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Just say she is trying to quit the ciggies and in previous attempts, drinking loosened her will power. So this time, she is staying off the booze too.

Congrats..


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:48 pm 
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hermie wrote:
Thanks dudes, yep number one. Shitting it! :lol:


Get your sleep in now.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:50 pm 
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VBall wrote:
Just say she is trying to quit the ciggies and in previous attempts, drinking loosened her will power. So this time, she is staying off the booze too.

Congrats..

That's actually pretty good. Cheers VBall!


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:50 pm 
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Firstly, congrats! Secondly, you have zero chance of keeping it secret during wedding season. All the other women will immediately jump to the correct conclusion and all the bullshit excuses in the world will not fool them. The men will be oblivious until their birds point it out to them.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:51 pm 
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The minute any woman 18-40 is seen not drinking at an Irish wedding the game is up. Don’t torture yourself, you can’t stop them finding out.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:51 pm 
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Congrats hermie!


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:51 pm 
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A friend simply attached a Nicorette patch (actually a plaster) on her upper arm and pointed at this when asked why she wasn't smoking.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:54 pm 
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Duff Paddy wrote:
The minute any woman 18-40 is seen not drinking at an Irish wedding the game is up. Don’t torture yourself, you can’t stop them finding out.

So true. She was walking around with a champagne flute, was buying tonics that looked like gin and tonics but the minute she opts out of a round, "What's the matter with"?


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:54 pm 
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women can sense pregnancy, notice how often a woman is pulled up about it by another woman in movies, well it's real. Was watching Eurovision with my mum and she said the Maltese singer was pregnant, I insisted she wasn't and then at the end she gestured that she was pregnant. Googled it and she was right. I thought to myself "that women noticing women are pregnant thing in movies is real".


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:55 pm 
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Bear wrote:
A friend simply attached a Nicorette patch (actually a plaster) on her upper arm and pointed at this when asked why she wasn't smoking.

Cut the conversation stone dead. I like it!


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:03 pm 
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Congratulations!

Good luck though, her mates are likely to immediately see through any subterfuge. Esp if she's 'blooming' and pretending to be ill.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:09 pm 
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le chat wrote:
women can sense pregnancy, notice how often a woman is pulled up about it by another woman in movies, well it's real. Was watching Eurovision with my mum and she said the Maltese singer was pregnant, I insisted she wasn't and then at the end she gestured that she was pregnant. Googled it and she was right. I thought to myself "that women noticing women are pregnant thing in movies is real".

not just women, dwarfs too


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:10 pm 
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hermie wrote:
I'm pretty anonymous here so it's a safe enough place for discussion. Found out the missus is pregnant there a couple of weeks ago and we're struggling keeping the pregnancy under wraps for the first trimester. She's a smoker, likes a pint, so it's pretty obvious to anyone the least bit inquisitive. Also we're slap bang in the middle of wedding season. Got half a dozen of the buggers over the next couple of months. Anyone got any advice for weaselling your way out of the awkward questions? Cheers


Congratulations.


Also simple solution is the classic "say nothing till you hear more"


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:14 pm 
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hermie wrote:
Duff Paddy wrote:
The minute any woman 18-40 is seen not drinking at an Irish wedding the game is up. Don’t torture yourself, you can’t stop them finding out.

So true. She was walking around with a champagne flute, was buying tonics that looked like gin and tonics but the minute she opts out of a round, "What's the matter with"?


Just don't go to the weddings.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:24 pm 
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SASP wrote:
hermie wrote:
I'm pretty anonymous here so it's a safe enough place for discussion. Found out the missus is pregnant there a couple of weeks ago and we're struggling keeping the pregnancy under wraps for the first trimester. She's a smoker, likes a pint, so it's pretty obvious to anyone the least bit inquisitive. Also we're slap bang in the middle of wedding season. Got half a dozen of the buggers over the next couple of months. Anyone got any advice for weaselling your way out of the awkward questions? Cheers


Congratulations.


Also simple solution is the classic "say nothing till you hear more"

Cheers big man :)

We'll call that plan B.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:26 pm 
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hermie wrote:
I'm pretty anonymous here so it's a safe enough place for discussion. Found out the missus is pregnant there a couple of weeks ago and we're struggling keeping the pregnancy under wraps for the first trimester. She's a smoker, likes a pint, so it's pretty obvious to anyone the least bit inquisitive. Also we're slap bang in the middle of wedding season. Got half a dozen of the buggers over the next couple of months. Anyone got any advice for weaselling your way out of the awkward questions? Cheers


Congrats Hermie. The antibiotic route won't work in Ireland. A woman on antibiotics is basically telling everyone you’re pregnant. We had a similar predicament last year. Like you, my wife was a smoker and could booze with the best of them. She just told people that she was quitting smoking which people always support. She then turned down drinks saying that if she had one, it would only make her want to smoke. Everyone fell for it. She was at hen parties, family birthdays and weddings in the first trimester and no one twigged it.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:26 pm 
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hermie wrote:
SASP wrote:
hermie wrote:
I'm pretty anonymous here so it's a safe enough place for discussion. Found out the missus is pregnant there a couple of weeks ago and we're struggling keeping the pregnancy under wraps for the first trimester. She's a smoker, likes a pint, so it's pretty obvious to anyone the least bit inquisitive. Also we're slap bang in the middle of wedding season. Got half a dozen of the buggers over the next couple of months. Anyone got any advice for weaselling your way out of the awkward questions? Cheers


Congratulations.


Also simple solution is the classic "say nothing till you hear more"

Cheers big man :)

We'll call that plan B.

It's a bit late for plan b tbf.

Congratulations


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:27 pm 
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discoconway wrote:
hermie wrote:
I'm pretty anonymous here so it's a safe enough place for discussion. Found out the missus is pregnant there a couple of weeks ago and we're struggling keeping the pregnancy under wraps for the first trimester. She's a smoker, likes a pint, so it's pretty obvious to anyone the least bit inquisitive. Also we're slap bang in the middle of wedding season. Got half a dozen of the buggers over the next couple of months. Anyone got any advice for weaselling your way out of the awkward questions? Cheers


Congrats Hermie. The antibiotic route won't work in Ireland. A woman on antibiotics is basically telling everyone you’re pregnant. We had a similar predicament last year. Like you, my wife was a smoker and could booze with the best of them. She just told people that she was quitting smoking which people always support. She then turned down drinks saying that if she had one, it would only make her want to smoke. Everyone fell for it. She was at hen parties, family birthdays and weddings in the first trimester and no one twigged it.

Fantastic. Certainly sounds like the best approach.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:28 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
hermie wrote:
SASP wrote:
hermie wrote:
I'm pretty anonymous here so it's a safe enough place for discussion. Found out the missus is pregnant there a couple of weeks ago and we're struggling keeping the pregnancy under wraps for the first trimester. She's a smoker, likes a pint, so it's pretty obvious to anyone the least bit inquisitive. Also we're slap bang in the middle of wedding season. Got half a dozen of the buggers over the next couple of months. Anyone got any advice for weaselling your way out of the awkward questions? Cheers


Congratulations.


Also simple solution is the classic "say nothing till you hear more"

Cheers big man :)

We'll call that plan B.

It's a bit late for plan b tbf.

Congratulations

:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:31 pm 
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Massey Ferguson wrote:
Firstly, congrats! Secondly, you have zero chance of keeping it secret during wedding season. All the other women will immediately jump to the correct conclusion and all the bullshit excuses in the world will not fool them. The men will be oblivious until their birds point it out to them.

This.

Pretend to be oblivious, that's your plan B. Plausible deniability.

In my experience, it's less grief for them to tell a few close friends/family so they can fend others off.

Oh and congratulations. You poor, unsuspecting man you.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:03 pm 
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Tell people that "yes, she's pregnant, but it's not mine". That way she'll have to answer all the questions and people will avoid you due to the awkwardness of the situation, so you can drink yourself to oblivion without having to talk to a bunch of utter wankers through the whole wedding season.

Sure, she'll be a bit pissed off with you and you won't be getting your end away for awhile, but that's going to be mostly off the table for the next few months anyway, and by the time the baby arrives she'll be over it. And even if she takes it really bad, she's pretty much stuck with you now anyway.

It's win-win-win. :thumbup:


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:14 pm 
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Demilich wrote:
Tell people that "yes, she's pregnant, but it's not mine". That way she'll have to answer all the questions and people will avoid you due to the awkwardness of the situation, so you can drink yourself to oblivion without having to talk to a bunch of utter wankers through the whole wedding season.

Sure, she'll be a bit pissed off with you and you won't be getting your end away for awhile, but that's going to be mostly off the table for the next few months anyway, and by the time the baby arrives she'll be over it. And even if she takes it really bad, she's pretty much stuck with you now anyway.

It's win-win-win. :thumbup:

As ever, Demilich nails it :thumbup:


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:15 pm 
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Demilich wrote:
Tell people that "yes, she's pregnant, but it's not mine". That way she'll have to answer all the questions and people will avoid you due to the awkwardness of the situation, so you can drink yourself to oblivion without having to talk to a bunch of utter wankers through the whole wedding season.

Sure, she'll be a bit pissed off with you and you won't be getting your end away for awhile, but that's going to be mostly off the table for the next few months anyway, and by the time the baby arrives she'll be over it. And even if she takes it really bad, she's pretty much stuck with you now anyway.

It's win-win-win. :thumbup:

:lol:

/thread


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:19 pm 
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:lol: solid gold!


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:19 pm 
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Demilich wrote:
Tell people that "yes, she's pregnant, but it's not mine". That way she'll have to answer all the questions and people will avoid you due to the awkwardness of the situation, so you can drink yourself to oblivion without having to talk to a bunch of utter wankers through the whole wedding season.

Sure, she'll be a bit pissed off with you and you won't be getting your end away for awhile, but that's going to be mostly off the table for the next few months anyway, and by the time the baby arrives she'll be over it. And even if she takes it really bad, she's pretty much stuck with you now anyway.

It's win-win-win. :thumbup:

:thumbup:

Here speaks a real man.


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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:19 pm 
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Demilich wrote:
Tell people that "yes, she's pregnant, but it's not mine". That way she'll have to answer all the questions and people will avoid you due to the awkwardness of the situation, so you can drink yourself to oblivion without having to talk to a bunch of utter wankers through the whole wedding season.

Sure, she'll be a bit pissed off with you and you won't be getting your end away for awhile, but that's going to be mostly off the table for the next few months anyway, and by the time the baby arrives she'll be over it. And even if she takes it really bad, she's pretty much stuck with you now anyway.

It's win-win-win. :thumbup:


Now THAT's how you pull the pin on a social hand grenade :lol:


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