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 Post subject: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:03 pm 
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A British woman who discovered a dead baby turtle inside her vagina may have been a victim of sexual assault, reports say.
The 26 year old woman is a resident of Tenerife in the Canary Islands. A few days ago, she showed up at El Mojon hospital in Arona complaining of abdominal pains. Doctors discovered that a Chinese three-keeled pond turtle was lodged inside her vagina.

The doctors alerted the police fearing it was a case of sexual assault, according to Spanish news outlet El Pais.

The unnamed woman said that she was out partying with a group of British friends in Fañabé beach a few days earlier, but she has no memory of what happened during the night. Over the next few days, the woman started feeling sick and presented at the hospital.

It was discovered that the dead turtle had caused a “serious infection” in her genitals, according to ABC News.


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:11 pm 
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Eh? If she can't remember anything then surely it's at least as plausible that she put it there herself while blackout drunk. That sounds more likely to me than some other person getting a kick out of shoving it in there.


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 9:34 pm 
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Was Hockeyprisoner in the vicinity?


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 9:35 pm 
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Maybe she’s guilty of animal cruelty?


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 9:38 pm 
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spookly wrote:
Eh? If she can't remember anything then surely it's at least as plausible that she put it there herself while blackout drunk. That sounds more likely to me than some other person getting a kick out of shoving it in there.



Speak to almost any A&E doc and they'll have plenty of stories about people shoving things up themselves.


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 9:51 pm 
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Crikey, and I thought a turtle's head peeping out of my arse was uncomfortable.


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:20 pm 
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Well, she's tortoise all a lesson.


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:34 pm 
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Short Man Syndrome wrote:
Well, she's tortoise all a lesson.


We shell see


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 11:02 pm 
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I bet the tortoise suspected something fishy was going on.


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:15 am 
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Isn't there a story about the rabbit and the tortoise? Do you think she may have gotten confused?


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:13 am 
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Clogs wrote:
Isn't there a story about the rabbit and the tortoise? Do you think she may have gotten confused?


Remind me who came first?


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:46 am 
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I thought it was the hare and the tortoise?

Maybe she had a Brazillian.


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 Post subject: Re: Baby turtle
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:54 am 
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I won’t lie, this IS the first time I’ve seen an internet post about a bird with a dead turtle up her clacker.


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