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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:02 pm 
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Ellafan wrote:
Except the ones who doctor the pitches to get a win?


It's been explained very clearly to you why this is bollocks but you have ignored it because you would rather continue to whine. There is nothing that tops that


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:03 pm 
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Margin_Walker wrote:
When does the cricket start again?

Looks like they'll chuck Crane into the fray.

Tomorrow evening


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:04 pm 
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Ellafan wrote:
Except the ones who doctor the pitches to get a win?

Yes dear


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:06 pm 
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Chuckles1188 wrote:
There may be no nation of shitter losers on the planet than Australia.


So true. But they are even worse winners.............


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:13 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
Margin_Walker wrote:
When does the cricket start again?

Looks like they'll chuck Crane into the fray.

Tomorrow evening


It does - just remains to be seen who they will drop - Ali or Curran. If they play Ali and Crane - they'll have a rookie wrist spinner and someone they couldn't trust to bowl just a few days ago. If they drop Ali, the tail gets even longer - not that Ali has scored any runs down under. Either way, it's dodgy.

Looks like Starc will be fit - If I was Aus I wouldn't risk him - too precious a commodity to risk.

I'd like England to bring Livingstone in for this test - Vince has had plenty of chances - why not have a look at the next cab while there's nothing left to lose. Livingstone can also bowl a few respectable leggies.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:15 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
Ellafan wrote:
Except the ones who doctor the pitches to get a win?

Yes dear


I'm guessing that it hasn't occurred that if you actually had proper decks, your bowlers could learn how to bowl on them and take 20 wickets?

No I thought not.

I got a meesage


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:16 pm 
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Yes, England's biggest problem of late has been the performance of our bowlers


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:27 pm 
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ovalball wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Margin_Walker wrote:
When does the cricket start again?

Looks like they'll chuck Crane into the fray.

Tomorrow evening


It does - just remains to be seen who they will drop - Ali or Curran. If they play Ali and Crane - they'll have a rookie wrist spinner and someone they couldn't trust to bowl just a few days ago. If they drop Ali, the tail gets even longer - not that Ali has scored any runs down under. Either way, it's dodgy.

Looks like Starc will be fit - If I was Aus I wouldn't risk him - too precious a commodity to risk.

I'd like England to bring Livingstone in for this test - Vince has had plenty of chances - why not have a look at the next cab while there's nothing left to lose. Livingstone can also bowl a few respectable leggies.


Certainly a tough one and probably depends a fair amount on where Ali's head is. No point trying to prop up the batting order with a bloke in such poor nick, so would be tempted to give Curran another go. Could certainly go badly wrong either way, but we've not too much to lose. Got to take 20 wickets somehow.

What's the pitch looking like Ellafan?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:36 pm 
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Margin_Walker wrote:
ovalball wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Margin_Walker wrote:
When does the cricket start again?

Looks like they'll chuck Crane into the fray.

Tomorrow evening


It does - just remains to be seen who they will drop - Ali or Curran. If they play Ali and Crane - they'll have a rookie wrist spinner and someone they couldn't trust to bowl just a few days ago. If they drop Ali, the tail gets even longer - not that Ali has scored any runs down under. Either way, it's dodgy.

Looks like Starc will be fit - If I was Aus I wouldn't risk him - too precious a commodity to risk.

I'd like England to bring Livingstone in for this test - Vince has had plenty of chances - why not have a look at the next cab while there's nothing left to lose. Livingstone can also bowl a few respectable leggies.


Certainly a tough one and probably depends a fair amount on where Ali's head is. No point trying to prop up the batting order with a bloke in such poor nick, so would be tempted to give Curran another go. Could certainly go badly wrong either way, but we've not too much to lose. Got to take 20 wickets somehow.

What's the pitch looking like Ellafan?

:lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:42 pm 
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Part of the reason for the whining of ellafan and the like is that we no longer perform the the role of generous finishing school to overseas players who can then come back and punish us for our good deed.

Good thing too; I got a bit f*cking tired of the likes of Border and St Steve spending a couple of months getting acclimatised at Essex before a series.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:10 pm 
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Ellafan wrote:
Come on guys. if you want the Ashes in England to be taken seriously, then the curators have to produce decent pitches.

It's not rocket science.


Have any of the English pitches been rated as "poor" or is the MCG pitch a first for the Ashes?

My impression of the Ashes in recent years is that neither side is as dominant as they think they are. Being at home it's Australia's time to shine but if they got on a plane to England in six months time the result would probably be reversed, although maybe not so convincingly.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:47 pm 
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Those 2015 rubbish pitches:

First Test
England 430 (Root 134, Starc 5/114) & 289 (Bell 60, Lyon 4/75)
Australia 308 (Rogers 95, Anderson 3/43) & 242 (Johnson 77, Broad 3/39)

Second Test
Australia 566/8d (Smith 215, Broad 4/83) & 254/2d (Warner 83, Ali 2/78)
England 312 (Cook 96, Johnson 3/53) & 103 (Broad 25, Johnson 3/27)

Third Test
Australia 136 (Rogers 52, Anderson 6/47) & 265 (Warner 77, Finn 6/79)
England 281 (Root 63, Lyon 3/36) & 124/2 (Bell 65*, Hazlewood 1/21)

Fourth Test
Australia 60 (Johnson 13, Broad 8/15) & 253 (Warner 64, Stokes 6/36)
England 391/9d (Root 130, Starc 6/111)

Fifth Test
Australia 481 (Smith 143, Finn 3/90)
England 149 (Ali 30, Johnson 3/21) & 286 (Cook 85, Siddle 4/35)

Not sure I see where they're poor pitches doctored to suit the home team. The majority of these matches were decided by a great or really poor first innings, where the pitch is at its best. England's 430 in Cardiff won them the match - in fact the scores there are pretty much ideal. Australia's 566/8d won them the Lord's Test. Australia's 136 (with England getting nearly 300) won the Edgbaston Test for England. Nothing more needs to be said about the Fourth Test at Trent Bridge. And Australia's commanding 481 won the match at the Oval.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:54 pm 
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JB1981 wrote:
Ellafan wrote:
Come on guys. if you want the Ashes in England to be taken seriously, then the curators have to produce decent pitches.

It's not rocket science.


Have any of the English pitches been rated as "poor" or is the MCG pitch a first for the Ashes?

My impression of the Ashes in recent years is that neither side is as dominant as they think they are. Being at home it's Australia's time to shine but if they got on a plane to England in six months time the result would probably be reversed, although maybe not so convincingly.


Probably so. Home advantage extends to much more than just the pitches and conditions - tours, these days, are so poorly scheduled that teams have totally inadequate preparation - and, if/when things go wrong, there's no chance for players to re-find form, or for others to come in, in any decent shape to perform. England are especially bad at getting proper warm up games and prep - we have no players in the 1st class game overseas. While it has been much reduced, you still plenty of foreign, potential, test players, turning out for the Counties, especially in advance of an Ashes series. Mitch Marsh has signed for Surrey next season, in preference to going for an IPL contract.

I think we'll have to play better than we have, to re-take the Ashes - but there's little doubt that we can significantly improve on what we've managed down under. It's also a couple of seasons away - so could be quite a few changes by then.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:09 pm 
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ovalball wrote:
Chuckles1188 wrote:
There may be no nation of shitter losers on the planet than Australia.


So true. But they are even worse winners.............


:lol: :lol:

Well, we seem to be winning a lot and your mob appear to be extremely adept at losing. We will keep winning(the cricket)and work on getting better at it. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:16 pm 
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Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
Chuckles1188 wrote:
There may be no nation of shitter losers on the planet than Australia.


So true. But they are even worse winners.............


:lol: :lol:

Well, we seem to be winning a lot and your mob appear to be extremely adept at losing. We will keep winning(the cricket)and work on getting better at it. :thumbup:


He says, after a draw


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:24 pm 
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Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
Chuckles1188 wrote:
There may be no nation of shitter losers on the planet than Australia.


So true. But they are even worse winners.............


:lol: :lol:

Well, we seem to be winning a lot and your mob appear to be extremely adept at losing. We will keep winning(the cricket)and work on getting better at it. :thumbup:


Nice timing to prove my point.

England have won the last 4 Ashes series at home - and lost the last 2 away having won away in 2011. Our recent record in the Ashes is actually better than Australia's.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:31 pm 
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ovalball wrote:
Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
Chuckles1188 wrote:
There may be no nation of shitter losers on the planet than Australia.


So true. But they are even worse winners.............


:lol: :lol:

Well, we seem to be winning a lot and your mob appear to be extremely adept at losing. We will keep winning(the cricket)and work on getting better at it. :thumbup:


Nice timing to prove my point.

England have won the last 4 Ashes series at home - and lost the last 2 away having won away in 2011. Our recent record in the Ashes is actually better than Australia's.


but but but... pitches


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:38 pm 
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ovalball wrote:
Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
Chuckles1188 wrote:
There may be no nation of shitter losers on the planet than Australia.


So true. But they are even worse winners.............


:lol: :lol:

Well, we seem to be winning a lot and your mob appear to be extremely adept at losing. We will keep winning(the cricket)and work on getting better at it. :thumbup:


Nice timing to prove my point.

England have won the last 4 Ashes series at home - and lost the last 2 away having won away in 2011. Our recent record in the Ashes is actually better than Australia's.


That’s very nice. What kind of winners and losers are your mob?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:40 pm 
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Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
Chuckles1188 wrote:
There may be no nation of shitter losers on the planet than Australia.


So true. But they are even worse winners.............


:lol: :lol:

Well, we seem to be winning a lot and your mob appear to be extremely adept at losing. We will keep winning(the cricket)and work on getting better at it. :thumbup:


Nice timing to prove my point.

England have won the last 4 Ashes series at home - and lost the last 2 away having won away in 2011. Our recent record in the Ashes is actually better than Australia's.


That’s very nice. What kind of winners and losers are your mob?


Generally, we're far too good at losing :blush:


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:47 pm 
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Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
England have won the last 4 Ashes series at home - and lost the last 2 away having won away in 2011. Our recent record in the Ashes is actually better than Australia's.

That’s very nice. What kind of winners and losers are your mob?

They're okay losers, poor winners.

But actually best suited to the draw ... that's their natural inclination and temperament.

It's why the game was designed to have so many of them.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:55 pm 
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kiap wrote:
Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
England have won the last 4 Ashes series at home - and lost the last 2 away having won away in 2011. Our recent record in the Ashes is actually better than Australia's.

That’s very nice. What kind of winners and losers are your mob?

They're okay losers, poor winners.

But actually best suited to the draw ... that's their natural inclination and temperament.

It's why the game was designed to have so many of them.


Yep, draws are good, more so when you are up in the series, of course.

The Barmy Army will carry on singing regardless of the result.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:59 pm 
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No doubt the pitch they rolled out at the MCG was not up to the atmosphere or the best test venue in the world, the crowd showed they knew this by not really bothering to turn up in the last few days, unlike Melbourne crowds.
The finger has pointed to the ACB in recent years to put out flat pitches to get a full five days out of all tests to make more $$$$ not favour the home side but a pitch with some life in this test would of simply made it 4-0 to OZ.
Its no wonder that the youf see over 200 made in a test match and still no clear winner declared that they turn to big bash cricket.
Draws are so 20th century to them, fans demand results these days.
Hoping for a turning, broken up SCG pitch to get Lyon a bagful. Interesting who the other spinner will be.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:01 am 
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Rowdy wrote:
Part of the reason for the whining of ellafan and the like is that we no longer perform the the role of generous finishing school to overseas players who can then come back and punish us for our good deed.

Good thing too; I got a bit f*cking tired of the likes of Border and St Steve spending a couple of months getting acclimatised at Essex before a series.

You idiot...

Quote:
Having reaped the rewards of his own overseas jaunt, English opener Mark Stoneman has welcomed the impending Aussie invasion of County cricket ahead of the 2019 Ashes.
Six members of the Australian squad look set to venture to England for their first-class season later this year in an attempt to acclimatise to conditions and get used to the Duke ball.
Mitchell Marsh (Surrey), Shaun Marsh (Glamorgan) and Cameron Bancroft (Somerset) have all joined County sides while Peter Handscomb, Nathan Lyon and Matt Renshaw are all expected to follow.
"It helps quite a bit. They're using a different ball, although most of them have played when the Duke was used in first-class cricket over here," Stoneman said.

Stoneman has been a regular visitor to Australia for the last 10 years, having played six seasons of Sydney grade cricket.
He said the experience had made him more rounded and encouraged Australian players to turn out in the Old Dart as they attempt to retain the Ashes next year.
"Just the variety of conditions you do experience at different times of the summer back home," Stoneman said.
"It's a lot of cricket as well. That volume allows so that if you do get into a good run of form, they just continue it on.
"I just think every time you experience different conditions and bump heads with players of similar experience or different levels, you learn more and no doubt your cricket benefits.
"Those guys heading over, no doubt it will benefit them."


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:02 am 
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kiap wrote:
Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
England have won the last 4 Ashes series at home - and lost the last 2 away having won away in 2011. Our recent record in the Ashes is actually better than Australia's.

That’s very nice. What kind of winners and losers are your mob?

They're okay losers, poor winners.

But actually best suited to the draw ... that's their natural inclination and temperament.

It's why the game was designed to have so many of them.

Spot on ol chap


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:03 am 
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ovalball wrote:
Yep, draws are good, more so when you are up in the series, of course.

England love a good draw, regardless. Always have.

The Barmy Army? Yeah, they get do get stalwart credit.

Better when their team is losing, of course, and they don't pipe up quite as much.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:05 am 
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The Barmy Army could quite easily be called a pack of annoying cunts but they're not exactly known for going quiet when we're losing - they made their name with endless tours following awful England teams ffs :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:09 am 
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grievous wrote:
Rowdy wrote:
Part of the reason for the whining of ellafan and the like is that we no longer perform the the role of generous finishing school to overseas players who can then come back and punish us for our good deed.

Good thing too; I got a bit f*cking tired of the likes of Border and St Steve spending a couple of months getting acclimatised at Essex before a series.

You idiot...

Quote:
Having reaped the rewards of his own overseas jaunt, English opener Mark Stoneman has welcomed the impending Aussie invasion of County cricket ahead of the 2019 Ashes.
Six members of the Australian squad look set to venture to England for their first-class season later this year in an attempt to acclimatise to conditions and get used to the Duke ball.
Mitchell Marsh (Surrey), Shaun Marsh (Glamorgan) and Cameron Bancroft (Somerset) have all joined County sides while Peter Handscomb, Nathan Lyon and Matt Renshaw are all expected to follow.
"It helps quite a bit. They're using a different ball, although most of them have played when the Duke was used in first-class cricket over here," Stoneman said.

Stoneman has been a regular visitor to Australia for the last 10 years, having played six seasons of Sydney grade cricket.
He said the experience had made him more rounded and encouraged Australian players to turn out in the Old Dart as they attempt to retain the Ashes next year.
"Just the variety of conditions you do experience at different times of the summer back home," Stoneman said.
"It's a lot of cricket as well. That volume allows so that if you do get into a good run of form, they just continue it on.
"I just think every time you experience different conditions and bump heads with players of similar experience or different levels, you learn more and no doubt your cricket benefits.
"Those guys heading over, no doubt it will benefit them."


Sure - we've had a few playing Grade cricket - hardly the same thing as having a contract to play 1st class cricket playing 4 day matches every week. We have any number of Aussies/Saffas etc., over here playing Club 'grade' cricket - far more than we send to other climes - but we also give potential (and current) test match players 1st class contracts.

edit - more fool us, of course. No blame on those taking up such opportunities.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:13 am 
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JM2K6 wrote:
The Barmy Army could quite easily be called a pack of annoying cunts but they're not exactly known for going quiet when we're losing - they made their name with endless tours following awful England teams ffs :lol:

The second point, yes. Fair play to these tourists. That's why they're "barmy".

If you believe they never shut up shop when they're being shut out, though, you must be watching a different series.


Last edited by kiap on Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:13 am 
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One draw and the thread goes to shit completely :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:15 am 
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kiap wrote:
JM2K6 wrote:
The Barmy Army could quite easily be called a pack of annoying cunts but they're not exactly known for going quiet when we're losing - they made their name with endless tours following awful England teams ffs :lol:

The second point, yes. Fair play to these tourists. That's why they're "barmy".

If you believe they never shut up when they're being shut out, though, you must be watching a different series.


Extraordinary claims - that the drunken mouthy nobs that form the Barmy Army might ever shut up - require extraordinary evidence :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:17 am 
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Dumbledore wrote:
One draw and the thread goes to shit completely :lol:

The draw was fine in the end. The poms stayed with it ... pacific poms not so much. :D

Crap pitch, however. Sort your shit out, Melbourne!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:18 am 
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JM2K6 wrote:
kiap wrote:
JM2K6 wrote:
The Barmy Army could quite easily be called a pack of annoying cunts but they're not exactly known for going quiet when we're losing - they made their name with endless tours following awful England teams ffs :lol:

The second point, yes. Fair play to these tourists. That's why they're "barmy".

If you believe they never shut up when they're being shut out, though, you must be watching a different series.


Extraordinary claims - that the drunken mouthy nobs that form the Barmy Army might ever shut up - require extraordinary evidence :)


The Barmy Army shutting up :shock: That sounds more like wishful thinking.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:23 am 
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kiap wrote:
Dumbledore wrote:
One draw and the thread goes to shit completely :lol:

The draw was fine in the end. The poms stayed with it ... pacific poms not so much. :D

Crap pitch, however. Sort your shit out, Melbourne!


I think the have some development work to do with these 'drop in' pitches. It was poor - but I don't think they intentionally prepared a duff pitch, or tried to adapt it to Australia's advantage. The biggest surprise is that we managed to bowl you out on it even once in 5 days.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:24 am 
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ovalball wrote:
JM2K6 wrote:
kiap wrote:
JM2K6 wrote:
The Barmy Army could quite easily be called a pack of annoying cunts but they're not exactly known for going quiet when we're losing - they made their name with endless tours following awful England teams ffs :lol:

The second point, yes. Fair play to these tourists. That's why they're "barmy".

If you believe they never shut up when they're being shut out, though, you must be watching a different series.


Extraordinary claims - that the drunken mouthy nobs that form the Barmy Army might ever shut up - require extraordinary evidence :)


The Barmy Army shutting up :shock: That sounds more like wishful thinking.

They do a good line in bluster.

You're not one of their number, are you, Oval?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:26 am 
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Dumbledore wrote:
One draw and the thread goes to shit completely :lol:


:lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:30 am 
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I think there's more chance of the barmy army thinking up a new song, than England taking 20 wickets in this Ashes series :P #ihavejustmockeredus #englandtoget20wicketsinsydney ;)


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:46 am 
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kiap wrote:
Dumbledore wrote:
One draw and the thread goes to shit completely :lol:

The draw was fine in the end. The poms stayed with it ... pacific poms not so much. :D

Crap pitch, however. Sort your shit out, Melbourne!

Pacific Poms.....love it... :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:46 am 
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guy smiley wrote:
ovalball wrote:
Olo wrote:
ovalball wrote:
Chuckles1188 wrote:
There may be no nation of shitter losers on the planet than Australia.


So true. But they are even worse winners.............


:lol: :lol:

Well, we seem to be winning a lot and your mob appear to be extremely adept at losing. We will keep winning(the cricket)and work on getting better at it. :thumbup:


Nice timing to prove my point.

England have won the last 4 Ashes series at home - and lost the last 2 away having won away in 2011. Our recent record in the Ashes is actually better than Australia's.


but but but... pitches

and her emails...


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:01 am 
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kiap wrote:
ovalball wrote:
JM2K6 wrote:
kiap wrote:
JM2K6 wrote:
The Barmy Army could quite easily be called a pack of annoying cunts but they're not exactly known for going quiet when we're losing - they made their name with endless tours following awful England teams ffs :lol:

The second point, yes. Fair play to these tourists. That's why they're "barmy".

If you believe they never shut up when they're being shut out, though, you must be watching a different series.


Extraordinary claims - that the drunken mouthy nobs that form the Barmy Army might ever shut up - require extraordinary evidence :)


The Barmy Army shutting up :shock: That sounds more like wishful thinking.

They do a good line in bluster.

You're not one of their number, are you, Oval?


Errr...... NO.

I quite like them, at times, they are good natured - but having paid my money to get into the ground, I don't really want to be subjected to them all day.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:04 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Posts: 20766
Woakes in doubt with a side strain. Would like to see Jake Ball come back in for a second chance.


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