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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 3:00 am 
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Once you've seen one rugby joke...... You've seen a maul.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 3:44 am 
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Springboks.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:22 am 
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SAfan wrote:
Once you've seen one rugby joke...... You've seen a maul.

Eddie's Reds. Laughed 'til we cried. :lol: 😭 😭


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:41 am 
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What’s the difference between Israel Folau and time ?

Time passes


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:57 am 
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Coach Pieter De Villiers


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:58 am 
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what's a bee's favourite sport ?

rugbee :nod:


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 6:39 am 
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SAfan wrote:
Once you've seen one rugby joke...... You've seen a maul.

That’s actually quite funny but would be better if the punchline was “you’ve seen the maul” <pedant mode off>


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 7:12 am 
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A saffer joke thread. :?

Hurry up with that bored wipe


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 7:28 am 
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"What doesn't happen from the backrow?"

"Pass".


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 7:42 am 
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Clogs wrote:
Springboks.

Image


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 7:54 am 
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Yourmother wrote:
A saffer joke thread. :?

Hurry up with that bored wipe

That's a good one. I laughed so much my stomach aches.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:26 am 
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Scrum. Russia have the Putin.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:42 am 
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Yourmother wrote:
A saffer joke thread. :?

Hurry up with that bored wipe


this


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 10:07 am 
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Three rugby Dads, an Australian, a Kiwi and a Fijian are all meeting at the hospital to collect their new born sons. When they get there, the nurse has some bad news, "I'm sorry, but we've managed to mix up the babies, but not to worry, I'm sure you guys will recognize your own children, we'll allow you to go in one by one to collect them". The fathers are all obviously a bit disturbed but agree to do their best to recognise their own son. "I'll go first" says the Aussie. "Let's do this in alphabetical order, Australia first". The other two barely have time to agree and seconds later, the Australian comes out nursing a little brown baby with curly black hair. Well, the Kiwi guy almost falls over laughing and the Fijian is understandably outraged. "What the hell makes you think that's your baby!?", the Fijian demmands. The Australian replies, "... all I know is there's a fifty percent chance one of the other two is a Kiwi and I ain't takin' it".

I'm sure it's better in the telling than the reading, and obviously can be applied to any international sport (or not sport, just any international setting).


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 10:44 am 
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Openside wrote:
SAfan wrote:
Once you've seen one rugby joke...... You've seen a maul.

That’s actually quite funny but would be better if the punchline was “you’ve seen the maul” <pedant mode off>


Wouldn't it be even better with 'heard' than 'seen'?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 10:47 am 
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Conspicuous wrote:
What’s the difference between Israel Folau and time ?

Time passes


:lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 10:58 am 
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Mog The Almighty wrote:
Three rugby Dads, an Australian, a Kiwi and a Fijian are all meeting at the hospital to collect their new born sons. When they get there, the nurse has some bad news, "I'm sorry, but we've managed to mix up the babies, but not to worry, I'm sure you guys will recognize your own children, we'll allow you to go in one by one to collect them". The fathers are all obviously a bit disturbed but agree to do their best to recognise their own son. "I'll go first" says the Aussie. "Let's do this in alphabetical order, Australia first". The other two barely have time to agree and seconds later, the Australian comes out nursing a little brown baby with curly black hair. Well, the Kiwi guy almost falls over laughing and the Fijian is understandably outraged. "What the hell makes you think that's your baby!?", the Fijian demmands. The Australian replies, "... all I know is there's a fifty percent chance one of the other two is a Kiwi and I ain't takin' it".

I'm sure it's better in the telling than the reading, and obviously can be applied to any international sport (or not sport, just any international setting).

No brown Kiwis or Australians?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 11:03 am 
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booji boy wrote:
Conspicuous wrote:
What’s the difference between Israel Folau and time ?

Time passes


:lol:


:lol: need more like these.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 11:23 am 
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This is rubbish and predictable - but is was a staple joke when I was a young'un.


A Kiwi rugby fan passes away and finds himself at the gates of heaven. He is greeted by St Peter.

St P: Greetings young man - I am sorry for your passing - but you will be happy to know that as a rugby fan you have instant admission into heaven.

Fan: Chur chur bro. So what it like up here?

St P: Well - the rugby is played on perfect pitches, there are no injuries, you never get tired and afterwards the beer is free and pies are infinite

Fan: Shot bro - I think I'm gonna like it up here ay.

St P: I think you will - shall I take you to your new house?

Fan: A NEW HOUSE! Oh man this is choice as.

Saint Peter takes the fan along a beautiful road. The fan sees a big yellow house.

Fan: Is thut my house bro?

St P: Oh no no no. That is an Australian rugby fans house. See how it is the colours of Australia?

They continue along the road and the fan sees a massive green house.

Fan: Is thut my house bro?

St P: Oh no no no, That is an Irish rugby fans house. You see how it is the colour of Ireland?

Further along the road there is a gigantic white mansion.

Fan: Oh far out man. Is thut my house?

St P: Oh no no no. That is an English fans house. You see how it is the colour of the English team?

As they near the end of the road the fan gasps as he sees the biggest house he has ever seen. It is 40 stories tall, has a rugby pitch and stadium in the front yard and is completely decked out in black.

Fan: Oh wickud bro - that has got to be my house - choice as man.

Saint Peter stops and laughs at little.

St P: Oh no no no young man..........that's God's house.


Ba dum tish.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:36 pm 
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A Fijian, a Samoan, and a Tongan walk into a bar, and the Barman says "Well done on getting selected for the All Blacks, lads"


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:39 pm 
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138 Kiwi Players & Ex players now Coaches walk into the same bar later, and the Barman says "Well done on getting selected to play / coach England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France, Japan, Italy..."

etc


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:45 pm 
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Luke Charteris walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face ?"


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 1:03 pm 
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Why do the Wallabies drink out of saucers?

Because the All Blacks have all the cups.

Hooaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 1:35 pm 
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Gwenno wrote:
Mog The Almighty wrote:
Three rugby Dads, an Australian, a Kiwi and a Fijian are all meeting at the hospital to collect their new born sons. When they get there, the nurse has some bad news, "I'm sorry, but we've managed to mix up the babies, but not to worry, I'm sure you guys will recognize your own children, we'll allow you to go in one by one to collect them". The fathers are all obviously a bit disturbed but agree to do their best to recognise their own son. "I'll go first" says the Aussie. "Let's do this in alphabetical order, Australia first". The other two barely have time to agree and seconds later, the Australian comes out nursing a little brown baby with curly black hair. Well, the Kiwi guy almost falls over laughing and the Fijian is understandably outraged. "What the hell makes you think that's your baby!?", the Fijian demmands. The Australian replies, "... all I know is there's a fifty percent chance one of the other two is a Kiwi and I ain't takin' it".

I'm sure it's better in the telling than the reading, and obviously can be applied to any international sport (or not sport, just any international setting).

No brown Kiwis or Australians?

Geez I bet you're the life of the party. Put your outrage in your pocket, it's a joke.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 1:38 pm 
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Jason Leonard walks into a bar.

Frequently.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 2:11 pm 
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What's the difference between TJ Perenara and God?

God doesn't think he's TJ Perenara.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 2:54 pm 
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Dan Biggar walks into a bar.

He then collapses to the floor, whines to the ref that the bar has been 'doing it all day', stamps his feet and shakes his head.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 3:15 pm 
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Waiting for the kiwi test ticket and the aussid/englis h shark fishing onss


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 3:21 pm 
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Yeeb, you have the gall to call out saffas on their sense of humour. Jeez


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 3:24 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
Yeeb, you have the gall to call out saffas on their sense of humour. Jeez

:lol:
Problem with going native - he got corrupted.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 3:24 pm 
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Gazzamonster wrote:
Dan Biggar walks into a bar.

He then collapses to the floor, whines to the ref that the bar has been 'doing it all day', stamps his feet and shakes his head.

Danny Cipriani walks into a bar.

Ends up arrested


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:03 pm 
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Can't remember who on here told this but it was a bit more pertinent a few years ago.

A Scotsman walks into the bar in the Millenium stadium with his little jack russell hours before kick-off to catch the Calcutta Cup on the telly. Barman initially refuses to have them up at the bar but the Jock pleads that the dog's a big fan and they can't get served anywhere else - he'll be on his best behaviour. The game kicks off and almost immediately the English infringe and Dan Parks kicks 3pts. The dog hops up on the bar on his two hind legs and proceeds to high five all the other patrons. The barman is enthralled, "that's amazing". A crowd gathers around and within minutes the Scots kick another penalty. The jack russell does the same ago and throws in a back-flip to the whoops and cheers of everyone present. The barman is astounded, "unbelievable. What does he do if they score a try"? And the bloke goes, "dunno I've only had him two years".


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:06 pm 
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Bokkom wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Yeeb, you have the gall to call out saffas on their sense of humour. Jeez

:lol:
Problem with going native - he got corrupted.


hey, I am amusing, and tone my act down to its audience (HH to be clear, this isn't a height reference)
I am just trying to kick some life into a shite supported thread, like the HKHJ one the other day about amusing commentary pairings that every bloody dickhead totally failed to grasp the idea of !!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:15 pm 
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backrow wrote:
Bokkom wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Yeeb, you have the gall to call out saffas on their sense of humour. Jeez

:lol:
Problem with going native - he got corrupted.


hey, I am amusing, and tone my act down to its audience (HH to be clear, this isn't a height reference)
I am just trying to kick some life into a shite supported thread, like the HKHJ one the other day about amusing commentary pairings that every bloody dickhead totally failed to grasp the idea of !!

Your above offerings would seem to contradict this statement.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:28 pm 
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backrow wrote:
Bokkom wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Yeeb, you have the gall to call out saffas on their sense of humour. Jeez

:lol:
Problem with going native - he got corrupted.


hey, I am amusing, and tone my act down to its audience (HH to be clear, this isn't a height reference)
I am just trying to kick some life into a shite supported thread, like the HKHJ one the other day about amusing commentary pairings that every bloody dickhead totally failed to grasp the idea of !!


Fleck de Kok


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:54 pm 
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Mog The Almighty wrote:
Three rugby Dads, an Australian, a Kiwi and a Fijian are all meeting at the hospital to collect their new born sons. When they get there, the nurse has some bad news, "I'm sorry, but we've managed to mix up the babies, but not to worry, I'm sure you guys will recognize your own children, we'll allow you to go in one by one to collect them". The fathers are all obviously a bit disturbed but agree to do their best to recognise their own son. "I'll go first" says the Aussie. "Let's do this in alphabetical order, Australia first". The other two barely have time to agree and seconds later, the Australian comes out nursing a little brown baby with curly black hair. Well, the Kiwi guy almost falls over laughing and the Fijian is understandably outraged. "What the hell makes you think that's your baby!?", the Fijian demmands. The Australian replies, "... all I know is there's a fifty percent chance one of the other two is a Kiwi and I ain't takin' it".

I'm sure it's better in the telling than the reading, and obviously can be applied to any international sport (or not sport, just any international setting).

:lol: Very nice


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:58 pm 
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Mog The Almighty wrote:
Gwenno wrote:
Mog The Almighty wrote:
Three rugby Dads, an Australian, a Kiwi and a Fijian are all meeting at the hospital to collect their new born sons. When they get there, the nurse has some bad news, "I'm sorry, but we've managed to mix up the babies, but not to worry, I'm sure you guys will recognize your own children, we'll allow you to go in one by one to collect them". The fathers are all obviously a bit disturbed but agree to do their best to recognise their own son. "I'll go first" says the Aussie. "Let's do this in alphabetical order, Australia first". The other two barely have time to agree and seconds later, the Australian comes out nursing a little brown baby with curly black hair. Well, the Kiwi guy almost falls over laughing and the Fijian is understandably outraged. "What the hell makes you think that's your baby!?", the Fijian demmands. The Australian replies, "... all I know is there's a fifty percent chance one of the other two is a Kiwi and I ain't takin' it".

I'm sure it's better in the telling than the reading, and obviously can be applied to any international sport (or not sport, just any international setting).

No brown Kiwis or Australians?

Geez I bet you're the life of the party. Put your outrage in your pocket, it's a joke.


No outrage here mate but it's a long read for a lame joke. :P


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 6:06 pm 
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booji boy wrote:
Mog The Almighty wrote:
Gwenno wrote:
Mog The Almighty wrote:
Three rugby Dads, an Australian, a Kiwi and a Fijian are all meeting at the hospital to collect their new born sons. When they get there, the nurse has some bad news, "I'm sorry, but we've managed to mix up the babies, but not to worry, I'm sure you guys will recognize your own children, we'll allow you to go in one by one to collect them". The fathers are all obviously a bit disturbed but agree to do their best to recognise their own son. "I'll go first" says the Aussie. "Let's do this in alphabetical order, Australia first". The other two barely have time to agree and seconds later, the Australian comes out nursing a little brown baby with curly black hair. Well, the Kiwi guy almost falls over laughing and the Fijian is understandably outraged. "What the hell makes you think that's your baby!?", the Fijian demmands. The Australian replies, "... all I know is there's a fifty percent chance one of the other two is a Kiwi and I ain't takin' it".

I'm sure it's better in the telling than the reading, and obviously can be applied to any international sport (or not sport, just any international setting).

No brown Kiwis or Australians?

Geez I bet you're the life of the party. Put your outrage in your pocket, it's a joke.


No outrage here mate but it's a long read for a lame joke. :P

I thought it was funny :lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 7:26 pm 
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Wife's dumping me cos of my obsession for rugby, I'm gutted, can't believe it, I begged her for one last try.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 10:00 pm 
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hermie wrote:
Can't remember who on here told this but it was a bit more pertinent a few years ago.

A Scotsman walks into the bar in the Millenium stadium with his little jack russell hours before kick-off to catch the Calcutta Cup on the telly. Barman initially refuses to have them up at the bar but the Jock pleads that the dog's a big fan and they can't get served anywhere else - he'll be on his best behaviour. The game kicks off and almost immediately the English infringe and Dan Parks kicks 3pts. The dog hops up on the bar on his two hind legs and proceeds to high five all the other patrons. The barman is enthralled, "that's amazing". A crowd gathers around and within minutes the Scots kick another penalty. The jack russell does the same ago and throws in a back-flip to the whoops and cheers of everyone present. The barman is astounded, "unbelievable. What does he do if they score a try"? And the bloke goes, "dunno I've only had him two years".


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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