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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:11 pm 
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BillW wrote:
globus wrote:
Try and ensure your team have a decent pee before going out.

Nothing worse than an incident on the pitch or a disappearance of a team member at half time.

But don't go for a piss after rubbing liniment on.


Medical advice was a bit thin on the gound then.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:16 pm 
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globus wrote:
Try and ensure your team have a decent pee before going out.

Nothing worse than an incident on the pitch or a disappearance of a team member at half time.


Make sure said pee happens before rubbing metsol or deapheat on tight muscles. A rookie mistake only ever made once.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:21 pm 
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Have a look at the pitch in reasonable detail.

I did a kick off at Prittlewell in a pond.

You rehearse these things in detail, practise hard but not in a small swimming pool.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:25 pm 
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Watch where the groundstaff have plonked the posts in.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:27 pm 
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Put your toe in the bath before entering a boiling furnace.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:28 pm 
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If you find yourself on the wrong side of a ruck, cover your head and balls and hope for the best, ‘cause you’re about to get the shit kicked out of you :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:29 pm 
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Find out details of your opponents' "partners" and ensure you use that information.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:34 pm 
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fonzeee wrote:
If you find yourself on the wrong side of a ruck, cover your head and balls and hope for the best, ‘cause you’re about to get the shit kicked out of you :thumbup:

Horribly true.

When taking a kick a goal, do ignore the idiot who has blasted out of the line to stop you scoring.

I hit one straight in the bollocks of the sad creature who went down as though he'd been shot.

Off he went. never to return.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:37 pm 
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Do squats every training.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:44 pm 
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CrazyIslander wrote:
Do squats every training.

I did diddly squat. I formed the idea of just hanging around in a corner and working out how to beat the opposition.

This worked quite well until I went on a pitch and saw 15 blokes with an average weight about 50% than ours.

Early team talk was just wear them out and we'll skin them in the second half.

Bit of a victory for me that day.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:44 pm 
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Don’t bring boots, someone else always has a spare pair for you.

Wintergreen and Poitin is the best rub known to man, unless it creeps onto your jocks.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:48 pm 
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Mr. Very Popular wrote:
Don’t bring boots, someone else always has a spare pair for you.

Wintergreen and Poitin is the best rub known to man, unless it creeps onto your jocks.

That horse stuff gets everywhere.

My arse has been on fire due to an inappropriate application of said substance.

There should have been a whopping label on the can or whatever to warn of potential personal injury.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:51 pm 
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globus wrote:
CrazyIslander wrote:
Do squats every training.

I did diddly squat. I formed the idea of just hanging around in a corner and working out how to beat the opposition.

This worked quite well until I went on a pitch and saw 15 blokes with an average weight about 50% than ours.

Early team talk was just wear them out and we'll skin them in the second half.

Bit of a victory for me that day.

I recommend any kid playing rugby to do 100+ as many days as possible. By the time they get to seniors they'll have legs the size of tree trunks.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:52 pm 
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Mr. Very Popular wrote:
Don’t bring boots, someone else always has a spare pair for you.

Wintergreen and Poitin is the best rub known to man, unless it creeps onto your jocks.

It's the other way round for spectators in the lower grades. If you're going to watch a game bring your boots.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:54 pm 
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Formulating an unbreakable lineout code is easy - middle letter from: Big (Front) Red (Middle) Cock (Back)


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:57 pm 
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Joost wrote:
Formulating an unbreakable lineout code is easy - middle letter from: Big (Front) Red (Middle) Cock (Back)

Or just front middle back


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:06 pm 
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CrazyIslander wrote:
Joost wrote:
Formulating an unbreakable lineout code is easy - middle letter from: Big (Front) Red (Middle) Cock (Back)

Or just front middle back

That's a cracker. The day the call was "Menopause" had us completely gone.

I was given the task of re-writing our line-out codes and I went to Latin.

This bemused the forwards. So we went back to a simple code that basically was a kind of algorithm.

However the secret was where the number 9 held his shorts.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:29 pm 
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All backline move calls should sound like nicknames of WW2 pilots.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:33 pm 
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Was quite enjoying this thread not one “ I” mentioned until he came along.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:39 pm 
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Tez wrote:
Was quite enjoying this thread not one “ I” mentioned until he came along.

I agree


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:40 pm 
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BlackMac wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
On long road trips back from away games it is perfectly acceptable to play cocks out in the hostelries visited


On long road trips take enough players to allow for the inevitable arrests on the way.

On the way back ffs.

Even we weren't that reckless


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 1:26 am 
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Tez wrote:
Was quite enjoying this thread not one “ I” mentioned until he came along.

It's called "been there done that, has the shirt and try not to be Chiselhead."


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 1:27 am 
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happyhooker wrote:
Tez wrote:
Was quite enjoying this thread not one “ I” mentioned until he came along.

I agree

You would. Try harder. Aye, aye.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 1:31 am 
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sorCrer wrote:
eldanielfire wrote:
-No left hand drinking


Buffalo? F'sakes.



That should be left hand drinking only :blush:


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 1:39 am 
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The best bit is to run up the rules and the fines for digressing.

Reckon I have a degree in that.

Got a lot of fines up to a wipeout at Hampden Park.

Just good fun.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:14 am 
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globus wrote:
CrazyIslander wrote:
Joost wrote:
Formulating an unbreakable lineout code is easy - middle letter from: Big (Front) Red (Middle) Cock (Back)

Or just front middle back

That's a cracker. The day the call was "Menopause" had us completely gone.

I was given the task of re-writing our line-out codes and I went to Latin.

This bemused the forwards. So we went back to a simple code that basically was a kind of algorithm.

However the secret was where the number 9 held his shorts.


Is if any self respecting forward would let you within a bulls roar of a line out call...


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 7:20 am 
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CrazyIslander wrote:
Joost wrote:
Formulating an unbreakable lineout code is easy - middle letter from: Big (Front) Red (Middle) Cock (Back)

Or just front middle back

Too obvious.
Little (front) Brown (middle) Jug (back) was my school teams alternative call if our usual code got broken.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 8:16 am 
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CrazyIslander wrote:
Joost wrote:
Formulating an unbreakable lineout code is easy - middle letter from: Big (Front) Red (Middle) Cock (Back)

Or just front middle back


You’d think, but the hooker will inevitably give the game away - remember ours yelling out ‘B-A-C’ and the opppo front jumper turning to me and saying ‘I wonder where that’s going!’


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 8:18 am 
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Shrekles wrote:
globus wrote:
CrazyIslander wrote:
Joost wrote:
Formulating an unbreakable lineout code is easy - middle letter from: Big (Front) Red (Middle) Cock (Back)

Or just front middle back

That's a cracker. The day the call was "Menopause" had us completely gone.

I was given the task of re-writing our line-out codes and I went to Latin.

This bemused the forwards. So we went back to a simple code that basically was a kind of algorithm.

However the secret was where the number 9 held his shorts.


Is if any self respecting forward would let you within a bulls roar of a line out call...


I’d say that’s Globby’s most far-fetched story yet!


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 10:46 am 
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Let the other lads "lose" the ref.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:07 am 
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globus wrote:
Tez wrote:
Was quite enjoying this thread not one “ I” mentioned until he came along.

It's called "been there done that, has the shirt and try not to be Chiselhead."

I think you’ll find most posters have “ been there”, the clue is in the yore in the title.
The one where “ watch where the opposition places the posts”, or words to that effect, intrigues me.
How does that work?


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:34 am 
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tc27 wrote:

There's always one player who trains every week and is always available but will never be good enough for more than 3rd XV rugby.


Conversely, there's always someone in the 3rds who would be a nailed on 1st team starter if only he could be arsed.

New to the game and not an obvious fit for any position? Out on the wing you go.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:30 pm 
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'lads, if you don't turn up to training, you won't be playing'



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:38 pm 
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Tape everything that might come loose.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:40 pm 
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Lace your boots in the warmth of the changing room on the way out.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:42 pm 
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Speak to the captain of the opposition side about certain interpretation of the laws.

That throws them out a bit.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:43 pm 
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Arrange for your side to have decent sized oranges at half time.

The oppos get small mandarins.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:45 pm 
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Mr. Very Popular wrote:
'lads, if you don't turn up to training, you won't be playing'



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Funny I remember this as a headline in the Fiji Times once before an international fixture against a kiwi select team, naming one of the Fijian players.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:57 pm 
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Wave to the opposition at kick off.

Then switch kicks the other way.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:59 pm 
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Oh how we laughed...
Image

KG


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