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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:47 pm 
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The old fellas on the sideline are there every weekend because their missus can't stand them about the house.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:48 pm 
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Mullet 2 wrote:
Diego wrote:
Mullet 2 wrote:
Diego wrote:
Lads wearing white boots can't tackle



No no it's that they take it up the arse.

And that is true

I wear white boots :smug:

They make me run faster :smug:



When you chase men

Yeah, that's how rugby works :|


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:49 pm 
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Only need to chase them because some white booted lads has missed his tackle


BOOM


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:51 pm 
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Tightheads always have stubble made out of barbed wire


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:51 pm 
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On Thursday at training the opposition always has a prop who played in the Welsh first division. Can't see him on the Saturday


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:54 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
Tightheads always have stubble made out of barbed wire

And a johnny in their wallet that's been there for decades


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:54 pm 
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slick wrote:
On Thursday at training the opposition always has a prop who played in the Welsh first division. Can't see him on the Saturday


ah, every club has had somebody like that, they appear for 5 mins having apparently played at a high level, they don't look all that in training but are very fit and fast so you give them benefit of the doubt, name them in the team - and never see them again.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:54 pm 
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Diego wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Tightheads always have stubble made out of barbed wire

And a johnny in their wallet that's been there for decades



Tiocfaibh ar La


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:55 pm 
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Diego wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Tightheads always have stubble made out of barbed wire

And a johnny in their wallet that's been there for decades

They're just waiting for someone to turn up wearing white boots


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:55 pm 
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The scrawny flanker who weighs 12 stone sopping wet is the strongest c&nt on the pitch and is all elbows, knees and corners. Conversely, the strapping 16st centre gym bunny is a soft fanny.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:58 pm 
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If your club has a women's team there is always at least one of them who's done 70+% of the men's team.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:59 pm 
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If it's on the ground, it's part of the ground.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:03 pm 
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message #2527204 wrote:
If it's on the ground, it's part of the ground.

I think anyone who has played can vouch for this one. x(


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:12 pm 
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Do not play the Met at Imber.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:15 pm 
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Do not have a liquid fart whilst wearing a jock-strap.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:16 pm 
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The overseas 1st XV player who just turned up gets all the stash even if its was previously claimed that none was available.

There's always one player who trains every week and is always available but will never be good enough for more than 3rd XV rugby.

Outside of the front row every forward thinks they should play flanker.

Weird additions to post game food are standard - curry bulked out with half cooked slices of potato.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:16 pm 
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That's a wrap lads


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:16 pm 
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Try to remember who the opposing team are when doing the ra ras at the end of the match.

(This is a confession.)


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:17 pm 
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tc27 wrote:
The overseas 1st XV player who just turned up gets all the stash even if its was previously claimed that none was available.

There's always one player who trains every week and is always available but will never be good enough for more than 3rd XV rugby.

Outside of the front row every forward thinks they should play flanker.

Weird additions to post game food are standard - curry bulked out with half cooked slices of potato.



Hmmm more rightly belongs in the every rugby club has thread.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:21 pm 
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Make sure your mum does not wear high-heeled shoes whilst running up and down the line, supporting her son.

Bit of a classic for me. And a wonderful memory.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:25 pm 
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Try and keep a sense of humour as the number 9 fires a bullet ball at your shoelaces.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:26 pm 
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Vaseline and horse liniment are sacred objects.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:30 pm 
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Try and ensure your team have a decent pee before going out.

Nothing worse than an incident on the pitch or a disappearance of a team member at half time.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:39 pm 
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Gently wind up the ref.

"So, what do we have to watch out for today?"

"Is your wife here?"

"What whistle have you got this time?"

"You know you can always have a shower in our changing room"

"Do you think your kit looks rather like the opposition?"

I can keep going. It's been fun for so many years.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:43 pm 
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Only the home team can identify which corner the pitch slopes down to and, thus, only they know how to exploit it.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:46 pm 
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Vaseline on legs makes you hard to tackle.
Lubricate your studs it'll make you run faster.
Get your first tackle in early even if its late.
Go hard in the first ruck, this will determine who wins.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 7:12 pm 
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If you can remember your own name with minimal prompting, you've recovered from being knocked out, and you're now fit to play on.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 7:17 pm 
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CrazyIslander wrote:
Vaseline on legs makes you hard to tackle.
Lubricate your studs it'll make you run faster.
Get your first tackle in early even if its late.
Go hard in the first ruck, this will determine who wins.



-It's important to get a big first hit in....

-Forwards will be fined if a back puts them on their arse in a tackle

-From this moment on the score is zero-zero (when being thrashed)

-Fancy running Fly Halfs can't place kick.

-One beer after training actually helps you recover faster.

-Left hand drinking only


Last edited by eldanielfire on Sat Feb 10, 2018 1:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:03 pm 
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Deep heat.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:05 pm 
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eldanielfire wrote:
-No left hand drinking


Buffalo? F'sakes.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:24 pm 
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In this country there are but 2 truths

1) Amateurs practice at night and play during the day. Pros practice during the day and play at night

2) Don't kick it - pass it.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:32 pm 
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One in...all in.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:34 pm 
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Jeff the Bear wrote:
One in...all in.


Bloody Welsh and their hot tubs.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:49 pm 
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eldanielfire wrote:
CrazyIslander wrote:
Vaseline on legs makes you hard to tackle.
Lubricate your studs it'll make you run faster.
Get your first tackle in early even if its late.
Go hard in the first ruck, this will determine who wins.



-It's important to get a big first hit in....

-Forwards will be fined if a back puts them on their arse in a tackle

-From this moment on the score is zero-zero (when being thrashed)

-Fancy running Fly Halfs can't place kick.

-One beer after training actually helps you recover faster.

-No left hand drinking

If you are lighter than your normal weight on game day you'll play better.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:03 pm 
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Left hand drinking. There's a thought.

We had rules about that.

Odd hours right, left hours even.

I got caught out by a vindictive companion in Jurys en route to Landsdown.

But I got him back after he transgressed the formal rules which contained a law not to use the word Guinness.

Plus other stuff.

The barmaid was terribly confused about a request for the black liquid under the foam.

This was repeated elsewhere.

I avoided the penalty charges but did get stuffed in Scotland.

Things went badly there as I ordered a round of drinks.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:48 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
On long road trips back from away games it is perfectly acceptable to play cocks out in the hostelries visited


On long road trips take enough players to allow for the inevitable arrests on the way.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:51 pm 
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Warming up should consist of no more than rubbing ralgex into your legs.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:54 pm 
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No more singing on the coach these days, it seems.

I can do quite a few. I learned "Eskimo Nell" word for word and the "Engineer's Song".
Plus a few extras in other songs that were required.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:57 pm 
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BlackMac wrote:
Warming up should consist of no more than rubbing ralgex into your legs.

Ralgex?

That was very hot. I stupidly rubbed that into my genital area once.

Great Balls of Fire does not even come close.

I thought it was going to melt my shorts.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:04 pm 
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globus wrote:
Try and ensure your team have a decent pee before going out.

Nothing worse than an incident on the pitch or a disappearance of a team member at half time.

But don't go for a piss after rubbing liniment on.


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