Planet Rugby Forum

sorCrer wrote:Well I ran (walked a bit too) 100km's over the weekend and then polished a bottle of Brandy on Sunday evening so all is still good.

Blimey! a whole bottle? You are in division 1. I drink few spirits these days, sticking to wine and the occasional beer.

If I ever get the nod that I am heading heavenwards, I shall hit the bottle of Armagnac which comes from the age I was born and the bottle of Frapin.

A few parrots eat them all and I shall look forward to meeting St Peter.

For anyone who doubts this and there are plenty of Doubting Thomas's, I'm happy to put pics up of said spirits in the morning on request.

In the meantime, watch out for your liver!

Young women are happy to talk to old men partly because they don't think they are being chatted up - they don't see old codgers as potential suitors - so chats are just friendly conversations with no ulterior motives - and, of course, we make better conversation than the young oiks they are used to.

ovalball wrote:Young women are happy to talk to old men partly because they don't think they are being chatted up - they don't see old codgers as potential suitors - so chats are just friendly conversations with no ulterior motives - and, of course, we make better conversation than the young oiks they are used to.

I'd go with that! They know I can knock out a decent tune on a number of instruments.

Why are drummers so magnetic? Since I started playing, they seem to gravitate my way for strange reasons.

You hit the strings, I'll strum and we could build up a harem.

An interest in composting.
An interest in building a home library.
Turning down a one night stand (single at time), and not being able to justify it for any reason more valid than “can’t be bothered”. Secretly knowing if it was a bj, I’d have agreed.
Having absolutely no interest in any football.
Having admitted I’ll never represent my country in sport, finding a loophole and doing it.

globus wrote:Forgetfulness. This includes all sorts of things. I am instructed by The Management to go to Waitrose to buy certain items. I should have written out a list but thought I had it in my head.

Result? Another trip to Waitrose, which thankfully is just down the road.

Down to Waitrose?
I can`t remember what I went upstairs for half the time.

Gout...

Brings a tear to my eye via inflammation in my big toe

GWO2 wrote:

globus wrote:Forgetfulness. This includes all sorts of things. I am instructed by The Management to go to Waitrose to buy certain items. I should have written out a list but thought I had it in my head.

Result? Another trip to Waitrose, which thankfully is just down the road.

Down to Waitrose?
I can`t remember what I went upstairs for half the time.

You're were lucky. I can't even remember getting upstairs let alone why I'm up there.

GWO2 wrote:

globus wrote:Forgetfulness. This includes all sorts of things. I am instructed by The Management to go to Waitrose to buy certain items. I should have written out a list but thought I had it in my head.

Result? Another trip to Waitrose, which thankfully is just down the road.

Down to Waitrose?
I can`t remember what I went upstairs for half the time.

I went out to switch the recycle bins. Went out with a few empties and bunged them into the green one, then forgot to take the black one in and swap it.

The Management was not amused.

But I did well on "The Chase" this evening, so not all is lost.

Patience. I lose it quickly. Not just with silly posters on here but it's the computer.

My PC has taken on a life of its own. No amount of banging my fist on the ruddy thing seems to have shifted the hard drive. Then, all of a sudden, it comes up and kind of winks at me.

But the graphics card looks like it's failing.

Here we go again ................

I'm off to bed. I'll leave it running and see what the morning might bring.

Good night all.

Memory loss. I'm forever forgetting where I put things I had in my hand only moments ago.

And memory. Short-term memory loss.

Medical ailments. I seem to have gone from one bug to the next since Xmas - stomach bug, chest infection, Man Flue, Kidney infection, irritating cough, and now my Chrohns appears to be playing me up again.

And hypochondria. And memory loss.

message #2527204 wrote:And hypochondria. And memory loss.

I forgot about the Hypochondria.

message #2527204 wrote:And hypochondria. And memory loss.

And insomnia.

I must be really sick - can't remember when I last got a good night's sleep.

SecretAgentMan wrote:

message #2527204 wrote:And hypochondria. And memory loss.

And insomnia.

I must be really sick - can't remember when I last got a good night's sleep.

Nearly 3.30 in the morning here and I'm wide awake, again.

message #2527204 wrote:And hypochondria. And memory loss.

Yes, I can't remember the last time I felt well.

You start to celebrate odd things. Like a really good shit.

Shrekles wrote:

message #2527204 wrote:And hypochondria. And memory loss.

Yes, I can't remember the last time I felt well.

Ditto

'You've got cancer, and Alzheimer's.'
'Oh well, at least I haven't got cancer!'

Working from the top down, the following body parts are fudged up to some extent:

Right shoulder
Lower back
shrinking old man
right knee
both ankles

Although, in fairness, items 2, 3, 4 & 5 are due to me gaining weight at an almost exponential rate since moving to Sweatyland 5 yrs ago - and I haven't even succumbed to the deep fried diet or propensity for Buckfast or other associated libations.

Perhaps if I subscribed to the heroin diet (the other local delicacy) I could solve most of these issues in one go......

Evaporation of reaction time.

I used to race cars and bikes, rally too. I've alway driven carefully on the roads but I seem to have slowed down quite a bit.

Strength loss. I need a motor to get the mainsail up unless there's a young crew member who can do it for me.

By the way, The Management is useless at helming. When you want to put a sail up, you need to point into the wind.

She's on the wheel, loses concentration and I'm trying to haul up a bit of cloth when we go off on a broad reach! So I now have a few tons to yank up the mast.

I abandon said task and get the yacht on the right track.

Then she does it again! Words were exchanged.

globus wrote:Evaporation of reaction time.

I used to race cars and bikes, rally too. I've alway driven carefully on the roads but I seem to have slowed down quite a bit.

Strength loss. I need a motor to get the mainsail up unless there's a young crew member who can do it for me.

By the way, The Management is useless at helming. When you want to put a sail up, you need to point into the wind.

She's on the wheel, loses concentration and I'm trying to haul up a bit of cloth when we go off on a broad reach! So I now have a few tons to yank up the mast.

I abandon said task and get the yacht on the right track.

Then she does it again! Words were exchanged.

You are the board’s true polymath:

Motor racing
Rally driving
Motorbike racing
Sailor
Writer of books sailing
Local politician
Bank manager
Bank systems software engineer
Lift engineer
Comedy writer
Amateur pathologist
Rugby player
Drummer
Guitar player

Am I missing anything else to add to this impressive C.V.

ovalball wrote:Young women are happy to talk to old men partly because they don't think they are being chatted up - they don't see old codgers as potential suitors - so chats are just friendly conversations with no ulterior motives - and, of course, we make better conversation than the young oiks they are used to.

This.
Having grow up with sibling females, and a scarcity of them at boarding school, I quite enjoy female conversation (at times) And I happen to understand the species, how they operate, how they think. .
Up to a point ....

Duff Paddy wrote:

globus wrote:Evaporation of reaction time.

I used to race cars and bikes, rally too. I've alway driven carefully on the roads but I seem to have slowed down quite a bit.

Strength loss. I need a motor to get the mainsail up unless there's a young crew member who can do it for me.

By the way, The Management is useless at helming. When you want to put a sail up, you need to point into the wind.

She's on the wheel, loses concentration and I'm trying to haul up a bit of cloth when we go off on a broad reach! So I now have a few tons to yank up the mast.

I abandon said task and get the yacht on the right track.

Then she does it again! Words were exchanged.

You are the board’s true polymath:

Motor racing
Rally driving
Motorbike racing
Sailor
Writer of books sailing
Local politician
Bank manager
Bank systems software engineer
Lift engineer
Comedy writer
Amateur pathologist
Rugby player
Drummer
Guitar player

Am I missing anything else to add to this impressive C.V.

They call it "Living a full life"
Good on Globby.

Duff Paddy wrote:

globus wrote:Evaporation of reaction time.

I used to race cars and bikes, rally too. I've alway driven carefully on the roads but I seem to have slowed down quite a bit.

Strength loss. I need a motor to get the mainsail up unless there's a young crew member who can do it for me.

By the way, The Management is useless at helming. When you want to put a sail up, you need to point into the wind.

She's on the wheel, loses concentration and I'm trying to haul up a bit of cloth when we go off on a broad reach! So I now have a few tons to yank up the mast.

I abandon said task and get the yacht on the right track.

Then she does it again! Words were exchanged.

You are the board’s true polymath:

Motor racing
Rally driving
Motorbike racing
Sailor
Writer of books sailing
Local politician
Bank manager
Bank systems software engineer
Lift engineer
Comedy writer
Amateur pathologist
Rugby player
Drummer
Guitar player

Am I missing anything else to add to this impressive C.V.

murderer
patio digger
Mountaineer
Asbestos roofer
Graphics card designer
DJ and disco promoter
JP or magistrate

Duff Paddy wrote:

globus wrote:Evaporation of reaction time.

I used to race cars and bikes, rally too. I've alway driven carefully on the roads but I seem to have slowed down quite a bit.

Strength loss. I need a motor to get the mainsail up unless there's a young crew member who can do it for me.

By the way, The Management is useless at helming. When you want to put a sail up, you need to point into the wind.

She's on the wheel, loses concentration and I'm trying to haul up a bit of cloth when we go off on a broad reach! So I now have a few tons to yank up the mast.

I abandon said task and get the yacht on the right track.

Then she does it again! Words were exchanged.

You are the board’s true polymath:

Motor racing
Rally driving
Motorbike racing
Sailor
Writer of books sailing
Local politician
Bank manager
Bank systems software engineer
Lift engineer
Comedy writer
Amateur pathologist
Rugby player

Am I missing anything else to add to this impressive C.V.

Well, yes. I play a few instruments. Plus I do and set crosswords. And I am a DIY specialist.

I've not wrtiten a book on sailing as such but I collaborated with another to write up a book about buying yachts and this and that.

I'm also quite good on plants, the leafy ones.

You can stick athlete in there too.

And I can cook.

And fly an aeroplane but I'm not qualified to do that now.

I had a go in a helicopter.

Why don't you guys come and visit? You will have a great time.

The Management and I are very sociable. Got some decent wine to thrust down your throats.

I’ll attempt a definitive list

Motor racing
Rally driving
Motorbike racing
Sailor
Writer of books on sailing
Local politician
Bank manager
Bank systems software engineer
Lift engineer
Comedy writer
Amateur pathologist
Rugby player
Pilot
Rock band promoter
DIY specialist - whatever the hell that is

Not a bad list. Why not put on LIAR.

It will please a few on here.

Shrekles wrote:

message #2527204 wrote:And hypochondria. And memory loss.

Yes, I can't remember the last time I felt well.

DIY. You will not believe what I have achieved. (Bit of rhyme in there)

I do brickwork, electrics, carpentry etc. The only thing I simply cannot do is plastering.

I had a go in my late grandmother's house when we built an extension as we knew she would never again get up the stairs. I designed it.

It looked like a drunken sailor, who had had a night out. Lots of waves.

All got scraped off and we got a chap we knew to come in and give it the mirror finish.

I shall never, ever, go plastering. Those folk who can, are miraculous.

I pay homage to them.

Duff Paddy wrote:I’ll attempt a definitive list

Motor racing
Rally driving
Motorbike racing
Sailor
Writer of books on sailing
Local politician
Bank manager
Bank systems software engineer
Lift engineer
Comedy writer
Amateur pathologist
Rugby player
Pilot
Rock band promoter
DIY specialist - whatever the hell that is

add 'ignored online bullshitter' and 'son of unfeasibly successful gambler & deck chair Vauderville balancing act'

Stevus55 wrote:

argus wrote:

Stevus55 wrote:

globus wrote:Healthcare. Look at the cost from my bill below. I also have to pay The Managements and basic cover for the kiddiwinks and the grand kiddiwinks.

Choose to.

So the am ignorant but does the NHS not cover / provide health insurance

I think private insurance allows you to bypass the plebs on trolleys in the hallways and go to the head of the queue.

Anyway, I thought the full Bupa coverage was all part of the famous Globus golden handshake retirement package that he has mentioned once or twice.

Actually it won’t bypass any trolleys in hallways. Private emergency care pretty much doesn’t exist in the UK, so if you’re sick you join the queue with everyone else. It will get you seen by a specialist sooner, and get your elective surgery sooner, though.

backrow wrote:

Duff Paddy wrote:I’ll attempt a definitive list

Motor racing
Rally driving
Motorbike racing
Sailor
Writer of books on sailing
Local politician
Bank manager
Bank systems software engineer
Lift engineer
Comedy writer
Amateur pathologist
Rugby player
Pilot
Rock band promoter
DIY specialist - whatever the hell that is

add 'ignored online bullshitter' and 'son of unfeasibly successful gambler & deck chair Vauderville balancing act'

Do stop Yeeb. It's quite amusing in its own way but just have a nice beer, lay down, and forget about me.

You are quite welcome to visit Globus Towers with your retinue. We have some decent ping pong. I like that.

Plus some humour. Take up the offer. Now there's a challenge for you.

Doc Rob wrote:

Stevus55 wrote:

argus wrote:

Stevus55 wrote:

globus wrote:Healthcare. Look at the cost from my bill below. I also have to pay The Managements and basic cover for the kiddiwinks and the grand kiddiwinks.

Choose to.

So the am ignorant but does the NHS not cover / provide health insurance

I think private insurance allows you to bypass the plebs on trolleys in the hallways and go to the head of the queue.

Anyway, I thought the full Bupa coverage was all part of the famous Globus golden handshake retirement package that he has mentioned once or twice.

Actually it won’t bypass any trolleys in hallways. Private emergency care pretty much doesn’t exist in the UK, so if you’re sick you join the queue with everyone else. It will get you seen by a specialist sooner, and get your elective surgery sooner, though.

Agreed. The Fitzwilliam does not accept emergencies. However, if you need an op of some kind or other you can leap the queue.

I don't like it, it costs me a fortune, but there you are.

We go to have a chat with certain people at a certain place here. One of them has waited over a year for an op.

It keeps getting postponed. We are primed and ready to get him to Peterborough Hospital at a moments notice.

Then the flu bug strikes for us and him. It's a ruddy epidemic here.

I'm still recovering from the thing since the week before Christmas and it totally ruined our plans to see the grand-kiddiwinks.

Ho, hum.

Doctor, please,
Some more of these,
Outside the door,
She took 4 more,
WHAT A DRAG IT IS GETTIN' OLD.

Well that stress test followed by an angiogram was probably worth it , as they put in four stents in me ticker.
Should this have gone your latest purchase thread?

lorcanoworms wrote:Well that stress test followed by an angiogram was probably worth it , as they put in four stents in me ticker.
Should this have gone your latest purchase thread?

Only if accompanied by pics.

Well out, btw!

redderneck wrote:

lorcanoworms wrote:Well that stress test followed by an angiogram was probably worth it , as they put in four stents in me ticker.
Should this have gone your latest purchase thread?

Only if accompanied by pics.

Well out, btw!

I fear the Globus anecdote is inevitable, regardless of fred.

Rinkals wrote:

redderneck wrote:

lorcanoworms wrote:Well that stress test followed by an angiogram was probably worth it , as they put in four stents in me ticker.
Should this have gone your latest purchase thread?

Only if accompanied by pics.

Well out, btw!

I fear the Globus anecdote is inevitable, regardless of fred.

Probably true.

My (former) niece designs stents at MIT.