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 Post subject: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:03 pm 
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Fukk my old boots. Started Sunday night, think it was the fish supper I'd got a few hours before. Full blast at both ends, lost six pounds in 36 hours. Tentatively eating again now, but aching all over. Haven't had anything like this for ages, had forgotten how bloody miserable it is.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:06 pm 
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The fun part for me was sitting and shitting through the eye of a needle on the bog and puking up yellow bile after the stomach contents and green bilious liquid had been puked up.
Only had it once in my life thank feck.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:15 pm 
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Had it while on a long haul flight - Hell couldn't be as bad.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:16 pm 
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I stupidly ate a watermelon in Tunisia on my first honeymoon. Spent about three days on the lav and having copious amounts of Imodium. The bad bit was that alcohol was not a good thing to drink.

The other bit was the immense tiring effect of clenching buttocks when off the big white telephone.

I suppose it made the honeymoon memorable, but not in the best way.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:24 pm 
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PornDog wrote:
Had it while on a long haul flight - Hell couldn't be as bad.


Amen brother

After spending 6 weeks in Nepal without so much as a wet fart I got full blown food poisoning on the flight on the way back (Royal Nepal Airlines) and spent most of the journey in the toilet spewing and shitting my way to London. Everyone on that plane hated me as I pretty much occupied one of the two toilets for the entire journey.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:08 pm 
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Once had a beer induced ‘both ends’ experience - was in bed with my then girlfriend , went to do a fart but followed through - as she was getting up and going WTF and rolling the duvet and shit up, the smell caused me to vomit on the rolled up duvet & shit.
I was so fecked and dizzy and dehydrated I just lay on my bed, in my shitty boxers , and watched her gingerly carry the rolled up duvet of Vom and shit to the bathroom to hose off.

She handled it quite well tbf, until she noticed I had shat down her leg a bit and my bum juice had gone through her pyjamamas and wet her leg.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:58 pm 
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psssst, globes, old fruit, 'amounts' following 'copious' would doubtless give old Henry Watson F a touch of the colly-jeebies and heebee-wobbles. I'm sure, despite the current fondness for allowing 'myriad' as a noun, rather than just an adjective, he'd also be somewhat furrowed of frons over your use of 'a myriad of' in the Newbie fred. You ok hun? [/reallypedantictwat]


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:07 pm 
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c69 wrote:
The fun part for me was sitting and shitting through the eye of a needle on the bog and puking up yellow bile after the stomach contents and green bilious liquid had been puked up.
Only had it once in my life thank feck.


Lucky man...I've had it on every continent, except North America (we don't count Antarctica):

- Dodgy meat platter in Slovakia
- Undercooked chicken in Kathamndu
- Ropey kebab in Christchurch
- Terrible Morrocan (of all things) in Cairo
- Guinea pig pizza in Peru

x(


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:25 pm 
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Have you identified an organism? Have co-diners suffered similar? Is it a public health notification job?


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:34 pm 
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Honestly think I've never had it proper, and I eat and try some weird shit. I imagine it's like the Norovirus?


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:38 pm 
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Biffer29 wrote:
Fukk my old boots. Started Sunday night, think it was the fish supper I'd got a few hours before. Full blast at both ends, lost six pounds in 36 hours. Tentatively eating again now, but aching all over. Haven't had anything like this for ages, had forgotten how bloody miserable it is.


Better luck next time Jack Goodhue.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:52 pm 
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Jeff the Bear wrote:
c69 wrote:
The fun part for me was sitting and shitting through the eye of a needle on the bog and puking up yellow bile after the stomach contents and green bilious liquid had been puked up.
Only had it once in my life thank feck.


Lucky man...I've had it on every continent, except North America (we don't count Antarctica):

- Dodgy meat platter in Slovakia
- Undercooked chicken in Kathamndu
- Ropey kebab in Christchurch
- Terrible Morrocan (of all things) in Cairo
- Guinea pig pizza in Peru

x(

Yep, enough said!
Took over a week to fully recover


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:08 pm 
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ZuLu wrote:
Honestly think I've never had it proper, and I eat and try some weird shit. I imagine it's like the Norovirus?

For all we know it might be noravirus. Most ‘d and v’ isn’t actually food poisoning, though often labelled as such.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:32 pm 
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Any reason you think it's from food and not just some random virus?

The worse "out both ends" I've had was picked up twice from my childs daycare. I remember just sitting in the shower shitting and throwing up at the same time.

Conclusion: Young children are grubby little shits and will kill you.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:12 pm 
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Freetown + shellfish ftw

I was amazed that I survived the shark infested bay on the way in from the airport, the sub-aeroflot chopper, piloted by a hysterical maniac on the way out, sundry govt fixers inbetween (who I'm convinced were just former warlords/child soldiers in hiding) and tbh I was relieved the guilty 'restaurant' didn't electrocute me first, as I spent a nervous meal (during a downpour) eyeing the water dripping onto the floor in front of me off a bare light bulb. Switched on, obviously...

Had my brain not been mangled by avoiding being zapped and pretending not to be terrified of my hosts it might have at least whispered 'Benthos, those prawns are a really bad idea...'

Within 48 hrs I was DREAMING of crashing a rusty helicopter packed with panga wielding psychopaths right in the middle of an electrocuted bay, foaming with half-starved sharks.

It's that shudder as some hidden needle forces molten but freezing lead into your veins that tells you it's going to be an absolutely awful blizzard of browns, greens and then watery yellows...


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:18 pm 
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I'd be on the lookout for any Russian sightseers in the vicinity.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:28 pm 
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In honour of this thread, I just went for a kebab.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:36 pm 
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danny_fitz wrote:
PornDog wrote:
Had it while on a long haul flight - Hell couldn't be as bad.


Amen brother

After spending 6 weeks in Nepal without so much as a wet fart I got full blown food poisoning on the flight on the way back (Royal Nepal Airlines) and spent most of the journey in the toilet spewing and shitting my way to London. Everyone on that plane hated me as I pretty much occupied one of the two toilets for the entire journey.


Sounds bad. I once got bad poisoning on a 3 hour bus journey to Acapulco. I recall it vividly, the belly and bowel rumbling starting not long into the trip. I thought I was saved as the bus had a toilet onboard. To my horror it had no jacks paper. That was the start of 3 or 4 days of hell that would only be resolved by meds.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:05 pm 
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Constitution of an African Elephant. No problems anywhere :proud:


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:51 pm 
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True Blue wrote:
Any reason you think it's from food and not just some random virus?

The worse "out both ends" I've had was picked up twice from my childs daycare. I remember just sitting in the shower shitting and throwing up at the same time.

Conclusion: Young children are grubby little shits and will kill you.


Had the fish supper, three hours later started going, stopped throwing up once all the fish was out of my stomach (although the shitting carried on for another day and a half). Fully accept it might have been a virus, but circumstantially, it was the fish.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:00 am 
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sunnybanana wrote:
Constitution of an African Elephant. No problems anywhere :proud:


Arsehole. I have ulcerative colitis and am currently in the middle of a bad flare.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 1:06 pm 
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Never had food poisoning more than in Japan. Despite all the weird stuff I've eaten and places I've been I got it more there than anywhere. Was never bad though, just the shits. I remember calling my principal and saying I wasn't feeling well but would try and make it. No sooner had I jumped on the tram I jumped back off to the nearest combini and proceeded to unleash a tonne of lava like arse flow. Quickly called back and said I wouldn't be making it.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:02 pm 
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Had some goat meat last year which laid me down for close to a week. After two days my arse was too raw/tender to wipe properly <insert bored joke here> and my throat was burned from all the puking. By the end of the week I had lost a good 4 kilos.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:04 pm 
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Wife and I both had Norovirus in a tiny hotel room in Paris. Trying to explain why all the bed sheets were covered in shit and in the bath on check out wasn't fun.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:10 pm 
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backrow wrote:
Once had a beer induced ‘both ends’ experience - was in bed with my then girlfriend , went to do a fart but followed through - as she was getting up and going WTF and rolling the duvet and shit up, the smell caused me to vomit on the rolled up duvet & shit.
I was so fecked and dizzy and dehydrated I just lay on my bed, in my shitty boxers , and watched her gingerly carry the rolled up duvet of Vom and shit to the bathroom to hose off.

She handled it quite well tbf, until she noticed I had shat down her leg a bit and my bum juice had gone through her pyjamamas and wet her leg.


:lol: :lol: ....Good God, you were a catch.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:11 pm 
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slick wrote:
Wife and I both had Norovirus in a tiny hotel room in Paris. Trying to explain why all the bed sheets were covered in shit and in the bath on check out wasn't fun.


Blame it on the wife?


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:13 pm 
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danny_fitz wrote:
slick wrote:
Wife and I both had Norovirus in a tiny hotel room in Paris. Trying to explain why all the bed sheets were covered in shit and in the bath on check out wasn't fun.


Blame it on the wife?

Or some scatalogical excuse


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:17 pm 
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Somebody once shat in my bedroom while I was unconscious with alcohol. Bastard even smeared a bit on my arse.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:35 pm 
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Well, all of your misery has cheered me up substantially. Feeling much better now having lost eight pounds in 48 hours.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:40 pm 
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The Sun God wrote:
backrow wrote:
Once had a beer induced ‘both ends’ experience - was in bed with my then girlfriend , went to do a fart but followed through - as she was getting up and going WTF and rolling the duvet and shit up, the smell caused me to vomit on the rolled up duvet & shit.
I was so fecked and dizzy and dehydrated I just lay on my bed, in my shitty boxers , and watched her gingerly carry the rolled up duvet of Vom and shit to the bathroom to hose off.

She handled it quite well tbf, until she noticed I had shat down her leg a bit and my bum juice had gone through her pyjamamas and wet her leg.


:lol: :lol: ....Good God, you were a catch.


:smug:

in fact, it was me who broke up with her, a couple of years later.
what can I say other than treat them mean, shit on their leg, keep them keen.

:smug:


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:41 pm 
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Jeff the Bear wrote:
c69 wrote:
The fun part for me was sitting and shitting through the eye of a needle on the bog and puking up yellow bile after the stomach contents and green bilious liquid had been puked up.
Only had it once in my life thank feck.


Lucky man...I've had it on every continent, except North America (we don't count Antarctica):

- Dodgy meat platter in Slovakia
- Undercooked chicken in Kathamndu
- Ropey kebab in Christchurch
- Terrible Morrocan (of all things) in Cairo
- Guinea pig pizza in Peru

x(

Globby bait :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:46 pm 
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suspect there are plenty of Ropey Kebabs in Christchurch :nod:


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:08 pm 
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backrow wrote:
suspect there are plenty of Ropey Kebabs in Christchurch :nod:


There's a few boys on here I reckon have seen more than their share of badly packed kebabs.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 1:29 pm 
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I still have flashbacks to a long weekend in Perth after some dodgy lemon butter Ina fish restaurant.

You never realise how bad it actually can get until you've experienced it....

x(


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:17 pm 
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Yer Man wrote:
Jeff the Bear wrote:
c69 wrote:
The fun part for me was sitting and shitting through the eye of a needle on the bog and puking up yellow bile after the stomach contents and green bilious liquid had been puked up.
Only had it once in my life thank feck.


Lucky man...I've had it on every continent, except North America (we don't count Antarctica):

- Dodgy meat platter in Slovakia
- Undercooked chicken in Kathamndu
- Ropey kebab in Christchurch
- Terrible Morrocan (of all things) in Cairo
- Guinea pig pizza in Peru

x(

Globby bait :lol: :lol: :lol:

Not really. Had a bit of a stinker in Naxos.

A bum explosion on the heads. Thankfully it was a 24 hour job (as it were).

No idea of the cause but suspect were the prawns.

Just remembered another incident in Jordan. We were clambouring up the hill from the Treasury and the tummy rumbling started. Got into the taxi and headed to the airport to get back to the hotel.

This was not good.

It's enormously embarrassing to park your botty for quite a while in an aircraft. Other passengers would have liked to avail themselves of the facility but you know that you need to hang on and keep going.

Plus. Cleaning up, with limited facility, is a red faced affair.

No lav brush. Appalling! I sent quite a load of inappropriate material into the skies below.

Guilty as charged. Just as well it was not bar-coded.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:25 pm 
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slick wrote:
Wife and I both had Norovirus in a tiny hotel room in Paris. Trying to explain why all the bed sheets were covered in shit and in the bath on check out wasn't fun.

Is that like the Ebola virus? Sounds like some end of humanity virus.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:39 pm 
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Biffer29 wrote:
backrow wrote:
suspect there are plenty of Ropey Kebabs in Christchurch :nod:


There's a few boys on here I reckon have seen more than their share of badly packed kebabs.


Pffft there isn’t a poster on here who hasn’t drilled at least one kiwi chick kebab, they mad for it - what they ain’t been blessed with in looks, they been blessed with fondness for booze and opening their legs without too much persuasion


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:27 pm 
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slick wrote:
Wife and I both had Norovirus in a tiny hotel room in Paris. Trying to explain why all the bed sheets were covered in shit and in the bath on check out wasn't fun.


Would think this is a normal day for the French. They were probably just annoyed you put it in the bathtub you weirdo.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:19 pm 
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c69 wrote:
The fun part for me was sitting and shitting through the eye of a needle on the bog and puking up yellow bile after the stomach contents and green bilious liquid had been puked up.
Only had it once in my life thank feck.


Oh the yellow bile. I had forgotten about that. Had it once when I was 20. Never again.


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 Post subject: Re: Food Poisoning
PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 12:15 am 
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Norovirus was a right plum. My 6 month old got it first.. then the misses left me rivers of projectile vomit to clear up as she went down with it. About eight hours later I was lying on the floor feeling like every muscle in my body was cramping after losing so much fluid in such a short space of time.

As for food poising Egypt laid me low. Symptoms started on the flight back and then it was carnage. I'd been warned about the place and had been using hand sanitiser for two weeks but clearly not as thoroughly as I'd thought.


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