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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:28 pm 
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globus wrote:
Brazil wrote:
Joost wrote:
I daresay I’ll just want to be burned and chucked off a cliff somewhere.

You could always list out your achievements and go for something like this:

Image


They missed off scaramouching.

A lady I know played the part. Hope you and LP are trundling through parenthood.

We are up to our eyeballs in being grandparents. The trip to the (next to) Wobbledom houses are seriously tedious.

The ruddy GPS keeps wanting us to trundle through all sorts.

We just ignore it and hit the A3 westbound.

I'm so glad I do not live in London anymore. Breath of fresh air up here.

Plus the value of bits and pieces has rocketed in Norfolk.

Cash for the grand-kiddiwinks. The poor people trying to buy first time is impossible without help.

Hope you can bung a bit of stuff to your own.

Go on. Have bit of a punt. Visit our lovely Town.

What.

The.

Fuck.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:30 pm 
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Benthos wrote:
"My spirit finally escaped the constraints of identity, time and space, and all they bought me was a lousy bit of stone with my f**king name and some dates on, and plonked it here"

That's what I'm saying.

I did a a recce of our cemetery recently. You have just described most of the content.

Many include a quotation from the bible. I know, for sure, that the interred were of no faith whatsoever, but they lie in consecrated ground.

There is a word for that.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:32 pm 
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feckwanker wrote:
What.

The.

Fuck.


They have extended the patio recently


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:34 pm 
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feckwanker wrote:
sewa wrote:
Joost wrote:
I daresay I’ll just want to be burned and chucked off a cliff somewhere.

You could always list out your achievements and go for something like this:

Image


Holy sweet jesus, please tell me thats been taken down?

It's since been ground into dust.


His family did it pretty much immediately after the allegations first arose; guess they found the allegations completely believable!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:34 pm 
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feckwanker wrote:
globus wrote:
Brazil wrote:
Joost wrote:
I daresay I’ll just want to be burned and chucked off a cliff somewhere.

You could always list out your achievements and go for something like this:

Image


They missed off scaramouching.

A lady I know played the part. Hope you and LP are trundling through parenthood.

We are up to our eyeballs in being grandparents. The trip to the (next to) Wobbledom houses are seriously tedious.

The ruddy GPS keeps wanting us to trundle through all sorts.

We just ignore it and hit the A3 westbound.

I'm so glad I do not live in London anymore. Breath of fresh air up here.

Plus the value of bits and pieces has rocketed in Norfolk.

Cash for the grand-kiddiwinks. The poor people trying to buy first time is impossible without help.

Hope you can bung a bit of stuff to your own.

Go on. Have bit of a punt. Visit our lovely Town.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Just read the text. I know who they are. If they have no wish to come here, that's understandable.

Try and no conversion for you. Work that out.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:36 pm 
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globus wrote:

The trip to the (next to) Wobbledom houses are seriously tedious.

The ruddy GPS keeps wanting us to trundle through all sorts.[/b]



Try plugging 'Raynes Park' into your GPS next time rather then Wimbledon Village, you might get closer to your sponging kiddiwinks.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:40 pm 
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Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..
'appen, fellow flatlander.

Always fancied those Tibetan Buddhist jobbies, where your corpse is left in the mountains to be picked clean by vultures.

When I said that to TCMB (11 years younger & considerably healthier, so she'll have the job one day), she said "that's disgusting!"

"But, darling, it won't be me, just a vessel that's no longe-"

"fudge that, Benthos - once I'm free of you, the last thing I'll want to do is drag your virulent carcass half way round the world and then all the way up a mountain. The nearest skip, if I had my way!"


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:41 pm 
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feckwanker wrote:
globus wrote:
Brazil wrote:
Joost wrote:
I daresay I’ll just want to be burned and chucked off a cliff somewhere.

You could always list out your achievements and go for something like this:

Image


They missed off scaramouching.

A lady I know played the part. Hope you and LP are trundling through parenthood.

We are up to our eyeballs in being grandparents. The trip to the (next to) Wobbledom houses are seriously tedious.

The ruddy GPS keeps wanting us to trundle through all sorts.

We just ignore it and hit the A3 westbound.

I'm so glad I do not live in London anymore. Breath of fresh air up here.

Plus the value of bits and pieces has rocketed in Norfolk.

Cash for the grand-kiddiwinks. The poor people trying to buy first time is impossible without help.

Hope you can bung a bit of stuff to your own.

Go on. Have bit of a punt. Visit our lovely Town.

What.

The.

Fuck.

You'd not think that there could be anything more unsettling than Jimmy Saville's gravestone, but seemingly you'd be wrong.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:43 pm 
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globus wrote:
I know who they are.


I didn't know you knew them, how?

Can't be through Facebook as you don't do it


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:44 pm 
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Benthos wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..
'appen, fellow flatlander.

Always fancied those Tibetan Buddhist jobbies, where your corpse is left in the mountains to be picked clean by vultures.

When I said that to TCMB (11 years younger & considerably healthier, so she'll have the job one day), she said "that's disgusting!"

"But, darling, it won't be me, just a vessel that's no longe-"

"fudge that, Benthos - once I'm free of you, the last thing I'll want to do is drag your virulent carcass half way round the world and then all the way up a mountain. The nearest skip, if I had my way!"


My mother says she wants her ashes scattered in Aegean sea. I always tell that I'll just drop them in the Thames on the basis that they'll get there eventually.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:44 pm 
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Location: Mostly London........Mostly
Brazil wrote:
feckwanker wrote:
globus wrote:
Brazil wrote:
Joost wrote:
I daresay I’ll just want to be burned and chucked off a cliff somewhere.

You could always list out your achievements and go for something like this:

Image


They missed off scaramouching.

A lady I know played the part. Hope you and LP are trundling through parenthood.

We are up to our eyeballs in being grandparents. The trip to the (next to) Wobbledom houses are seriously tedious.

The ruddy GPS keeps wanting us to trundle through all sorts.

We just ignore it and hit the A3 westbound.

I'm so glad I do not live in London anymore. Breath of fresh air up here.

Plus the value of bits and pieces has rocketed in Norfolk.

Cash for the grand-kiddiwinks. The poor people trying to buy first time is impossible without help.

Hope you can bung a bit of stuff to your own.

Go on. Have bit of a punt. Visit our lovely Town.

What.

The.

Fuck.

You'd not think that there could be anything more unsettling than Jimmy Saville's gravestone, but seemingly you'd be wrong.


Always found jogging past the Michael Jackson statue at Craven Cottage a bit creepy.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:45 pm 
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Is it still there?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:47 pm 
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Lobby wrote:
Benthos wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..
'appen, fellow flatlander.

Always fancied those Tibetan Buddhist jobbies, where your corpse is left in the mountains to be picked clean by vultures.

When I said that to TCMB (11 years younger & considerably healthier, so she'll have the job one day), she said "that's disgusting!"

"But, darling, it won't be me, just a vessel that's no longe-"

"fudge that, Benthos - once I'm free of you, the last thing I'll want to do is drag your virulent carcass half way round the world and then all the way up a mountain. The nearest skip, if I had my way!"


My mother says she wants her ashes scattered in Aegean sea. I always tell that I'll just drop them in the Thames on the basis that they'll get there eventually.

The same logic says you could flush them down the lav


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:47 pm 
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Brazil wrote:
Is it still there?


Nah, they took it down a few years back after the Al-Fayed sold the ground

I mean jesus, just look at it

Image


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:48 pm 
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Brazil wrote:
Is it still there?

It's been moved to Manchester iirc


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:55 pm 
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globus wrote:
Benthos wrote:
"My spirit finally escaped the constraints of identity, time and space, and all they bought me was a lousy bit of stone with my f**king name and some dates on, and plonked it here"

That's what I'm saying.

I did a a recce of our cemetery recently. You have just described most of the content.

Many include a quotation from the bible. I know, for sure, that the interred were of no faith whatsoever, but they lie in consecrated ground.

There is a word for that.

And what may that be?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:58 pm 
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SaintK wrote:
globus wrote:
Benthos wrote:
"My spirit finally escaped the constraints of identity, time and space, and all they bought me was a lousy bit of stone with my f**king name and some dates on, and plonked it here"

That's what I'm saying.

I did a a recce of our cemetery recently. You have just described most of the content.

Many include a quotation from the bible. I know, for sure, that the interred were of no faith whatsoever, but they lie in consecrated ground.

There is a word for that.

And what may that be?

Have a go, SaintK.

It cropped up in a toughie crossword about a week ago.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:14 pm 
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globus wrote:
Benthos wrote:
"My spirit finally escaped the constraints of identity, time and space, and all they bought me was a lousy bit of stone with my f**king name and some dates on, and plonked it here"

That's what I'm saying.

I did a a recce of our cemetery recently. You have just described most of the content.

Many include a quotation from the bible. I know, for sure, that the interred were of no faith whatsoever, but they lie in consecrated ground.

There is a word for that.
Un-inter-rested?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:21 pm 
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Benthos wrote:
globus wrote:
Benthos wrote:
"My spirit finally escaped the constraints of identity, time and space, and all they bought me was a lousy bit of stone with my f**king name and some dates on, and plonked it here"

That's what I'm saying.

I did a a recce of our cemetery recently. You have just described most of the content.

Many include a quotation from the bible. I know, for sure, that the interred were of no faith whatsoever, but they lie in consecrated ground.

There is a word for that.
Un-inter-rested?

I like it! Nearly there.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:33 pm 
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Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..

How permanent is a headstone anyway though? 100 years? 150? There are graveyards with old headstones around with no inscription, eventually they get moved.

Tree is a nice idea though, environmentally speaking. :)


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:41 pm 
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Location: On my large and growing arse
BFI
I told the Zippyettes to throw my body into a dumpster behind McDonalds




Image


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:43 pm 
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Rugby2023 wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..

How permanent is a headstone anyway though? 100 years? 150? There are graveyards with old headstones around with no inscription, eventually they get moved.

Tree is a nice idea though, environmentally speaking. :)

My brother's wife is an expert on headstones, particularly in East Anglia.

Tree is appropriate for me, but there is a vowel missing.

My home address is entitled "Acorns".


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:59 pm 
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As in life, so in death,
Here Globus lies.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 4:03 pm 
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globus wrote:
Rugby2023 wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..

How permanent is a headstone anyway though? 100 years? 150? There are graveyards with old headstones around with no inscription, eventually they get moved.

Tree is a nice idea though, environmentally speaking. :)

My brother's wife is an expert on headstones, particularly in East Anglia.

Tree is appropriate for me, but there is a vowel missing.

My home address is entitled "Acorns".


That is not how you spell twat.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 4:16 pm 
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frillage wrote:
As in life, so in death,
Here Globus lies.


:lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 4:36 pm 
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frillage wrote:
As in life, so in death,
Here Globus lies.

:lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 4:47 pm 
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slick wrote:
globus wrote:
Rugby2023 wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..

How permanent is a headstone anyway though? 100 years? 150? There are graveyards with old headstones around with no inscription, eventually they get moved.

Tree is a nice idea though, environmentally speaking. :)

My brother's wife is an expert on headstones, particularly in East Anglia.

Tree is appropriate for me, but there is a vowel missing.

My home address is entitled "Acorns".


That is not how you spell twat.

Snigger!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 4:50 pm 
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Rugby2023 wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..

How permanent is a headstone anyway though? 100 years? 150? There are graveyards with old headstones around with no inscription, eventually they get moved.

Tree is a nice idea though, environmentally speaking. :)

That is what we did with my mother and father, though they were both cremated first and the ashes sprinkled in just before the tree was planted in a woodland cemetery just on the edge of the Chilterns


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 5:38 pm 
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frillage wrote:
As in life, so in death,
Here Globus lies.

Quality


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:22 pm 
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Location: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...
SaintK wrote:
Rugby2023 wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..

How permanent is a headstone anyway though? 100 years? 150? There are graveyards with old headstones around with no inscription, eventually they get moved.

Tree is a nice idea though, environmentally speaking. :)

That is what we did with my mother and father, though they were both cremated first and the ashes sprinkled in just before the tree was planted in a woodland cemetery just on the edge of the Chilterns


I like that. A lot. I’m a pagan (no particular creed or pigeonhole) so I’m fundamentally attached to the notions of renewal and the cycle of life. I have a similar idea for my own recycling. Respect. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:30 pm 
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Location: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...
However, if my friends and loved ones were to ignore my wishes and place some sort of memorial, they have made it clear they will include the text “Life’s too short to drink bad wine.” I have threatened haunting, but, tbf, I can see where they are coming from.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:02 pm 
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What started off as a sweet post about death has gone totally surreal and patio'esque. Bet the drinks cabinet in Oundle has gone a bit bare in the last 24 hours.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:15 pm 
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slick wrote:
frillage wrote:
As in life, so in death,
Here Globus lies.

:lol:


Post of the week


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:38 pm 
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iarmhiman wrote:
I've left everything to the catholic church..... :smug:

Do you mean the bits of you it hasn't already had :P


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:01 pm 
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I can't decide to go simple or ballistic on a monument of a gravestone in gold font. Probably the latter.

Simple. "Worms, I fcuking hate worms".

Ballistic. "He was born with all. Good looks, a great physique, a 14" thick shaft, a supreme athlete. Men wanted to be him, women wanted to be with him. A phenomenal IQ, led this self-made man to become a billionaire philanthropist. A playboy too - he humped more hot women with his 14" thick shaft, of every colour, on every continent, than should be permissible. He had a 14" thick shaft".


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:09 pm 
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Location: The Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead..Peasants..
They've spelled my name wrong..


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:16 pm 
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I ordered a cremation party. No stones/plaques/services etc. {Despite previous joke on here)

If possible I might drop in. Plan to be there in spirit , if not in flesh ..


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:20 pm 
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Pigeonshit, most likely.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:11 am 
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SaintK wrote:
Rugby2023 wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..

How permanent is a headstone anyway though? 100 years? 150? There are graveyards with old headstones around with no inscription, eventually they get moved.

Tree is a nice idea though, environmentally speaking. :)

That is what we did with my mother and father, though they were both cremated first and the ashes sprinkled in just before the tree was planted in a woodland cemetery just on the edge of the Chilterns


Doesn't that bugger up the Ph of the soil and stunt the tree though, or is cremation ash neutral?


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:14 am 
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Brazil wrote:
SaintK wrote:
Rugby2023 wrote:
Fenman wrote:
Put me in a cardboard box, stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top. No need for any permanent reminder of my existence..

How permanent is a headstone anyway though? 100 years? 150? There are graveyards with old headstones around with no inscription, eventually they get moved.

Tree is a nice idea though, environmentally speaking. :)

That is what we did with my mother and father, though they were both cremated first and the ashes sprinkled in just before the tree was planted in a woodland cemetery just on the edge of the Chilterns


Doesn't that bugger up the Ph of the soil and stunt the tree though, or is cremation ash neutral?

I'm no gardener, but I'm pretty sure my folks use wood ash as a fertilizer. I'm not sure if that differs in pH to human ash.

Globby, any weeds sprouting through your patio??


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