Planet Rugby Forum

Duff Paddy wrote:Well that’s shit. Get yourself a good bottle of Irish whiskey.

Hong Kong wrote:

Morgan14 wrote:It's a little dusty in here ffs. But my condolences HK, RIP. To paraphrase the Hound, getting old's a c*nt. Hope you're wife's father takes a turn for the better too.


Could it be his touching your cheek was a reminder of that black marker penis that was drawn on it all those years ago before your flight that the made the stewardess give pause to serve you on the flight?? (I hope i'm recalling correctly that that epic story was yours!!! Apols if not)

my mum is looking at me very strangely now alas it was not I

Edit - oh and thanks for the wishes from other posters. Trust me, it does help (for those who may face a similar situation soon)

Hong Kong wrote:My father passed away this morning and I feel the need to express myself. Strap yourselves in fellas, this could be an emotional ride...

He was 79 and had had a number of medical issues over the years: high blood pressure, diabetes, had prostrate cancer, a stroke, suffered a stroke 4 1/2 years ago, had a couple of falls, one requiring a hip replacement and was having dialysis 3 times a week. He was in hospital up until last week having suffered another fall earlier last month. So, the epitome of health!

On Wednesday last week, the consultant doctor said that there was nothing more that could be done and he was being discharged for palliative care. I was still in HK and made arrangements for a flight which arrived Sunday evening, with precious little sleep on the 12 hour flight.

He’d had a particularly violent vomiting session before I arrived and as a result was not eating at all. I stayed with him all through that night and did so on each other night, allowing my mum and sister time to rest. During one night, he woke up and looked at me and I held on to my hand and then kept on touching my cheek, then taking our hands to his cheek - he was not speaking by this stage. I had no idea what he was trying to say, if anything or if he was simply being loving - I know what memory I’ll keep.

A couple of times ding the week, he gave us all a scare by appearing to stop breathing, only to continue after a couple of seconds - the utter bastard was toying with us!

By Wednesday evening he was struggling with his breathing and although my mum had signed a DNR form last year, the nurses came and gave him medication to help, which worked a treat.

Come this morning, we were about to have breakfast when the care assistant told us we needed to come through. We did so and I watched, with my mum and sister, my father take his last breath....

So here I am now, shell-shocked and a bit confused (“no change there then” - I know) having cried a bit, laughed a bit and informed relatives (by the way, to complicate matters, we have a brother who’s been estranged from me and my sister for the last 10 years - but that's another story! Plus, did I mention that my wife is currently with her father, who’s none the too flash either?) and trying to get my head around the situation. I reckon in the 6 days I have been travelling and staying here I’ve had less than 6 hours sleep, so if I react poorly, sue me (“no change there then”).

So please feel free to comfort me, abuse me, use dark humour or sneer at me. I promise not to ban anyone*.

Got to pop out now to collect the death certificate, so I’ll not be able to respond immediately but will do so when I return.


(*this statement may not be 100% true)

Edit: thanks nardol - TLDR dad died, I’m upset

Fat Old Git wrote:So sorry to hear that HK. Grief is a terrible roller coaster ride. Just remember to take care of yourself and if you need to go out in shout at the sky, don't let anyone stop you.

DragonKhan wrote:You were there with him at the end. Any father would have been happy to have his son there, showing you love and care for him. Sorry for your loss HK, hope you and your family find comfort in each other in this awful time

nardol wrote:Not sure how to take your post there HK. I was attempting that dark humour you mentioned in your post. I wasn't genuinely trying to cause offence. My genuine sympathies (as per the post almost immediately after ).

slick wrote:

nardol wrote:Not sure how to take your post there HK. I was attempting that dark humour you mentioned in your post. I wasn't genuinely trying to cause offence. My genuine sympathies (as per the post almost immediately after ).

I think you’re OK