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 Post subject: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 4:30 pm 
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Can I have some advice please.

One of my daughters has been getting bullied at primary school since October and the school are not interested in dealing with it. I think that there is an endemic problem with bullying among girls. I had a meeting with the Head last week ( there have been two earlier meetings in recent months) and when I went over the issues his first response was that the school does not have bullies and he cannot make one kid like another! I find that response utterly bewildering. Their own anti-bullying policy is thus worth bugger all?

I have looked at another school nearby with my daughter which we really like. The Head at that school says if I apply now she can get there for the last two weeks in July to settle in before the summer break.

I am tempted to make the move and then write the governors at the current school a rather strong letter copied to County about my experiences except that my other daughter starts at the current school in September!! i think maybe get her to move shortly thereafter as she will have priority with a sibling at the new school which is currently over-subscribed in the reception class.

The joys of parenthood.....


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:03 pm 
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Tbh if the current school won’t help or listen and denies there are bullies, then it sounds like a shit school with shit teachers, so you are best off moving.

Every school has bullying of some kind, kids are kids and often nasty - to deny bullying exists baffles me a bit. Very tempting just to tell your kid ‘if you get bullied, kick them in the crotch - they will leave you alone then’. Sadly the hippy teachers will only then step in !

Good luck anyways. Bullies are cnunts

And re the younger child , you can have then in nursery after five don’t forget - they only have to start the term after they turn 5 I think (might be wrong on this, but for now your priority is your older kid)


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:08 pm 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Can I have some advice please.

One of my daughters has been getting bullied at primary school since October and the school are not interested in dealing with it. I think that there is an endemic problem with bullying among girls. I had a meeting with the Head last week ( there have been two earlier meetings in recent months) and when I went over the issues his first response was that the school does not have bullies and he cannot make one kid like another! I find that response utterly bewildering. Their own anti-bullying policy is thus worth bugger all?

I have looked at another school nearby with my daughter which we really like. The Head at that school says if I apply now she can get there for the last two weeks in July to settle in before the summer break.

I am tempted to make the move and then write the governors at the current school a rather strong letter copied to County about my experiences except that my other daughter starts at the current school in September!! i think maybe get her to move shortly thereafter as she will have priority with a sibling at the new school which is currently over-subscribed in the reception class.

The joys of parenthood.....



I think your temptations are correct as a course of action. Find a school you’re happy with is very important


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:12 pm 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Can I have some advice please.

One of my daughters has been getting bullied at primary school since October and the school are not interested in dealing with it. I think that there is an endemic problem with bullying among girls. I had a meeting with the Head last week ( there have been two earlier meetings in recent months) and when I went over the issues his first response was that the school does not have bullies and he cannot make one kid like another! I find that response utterly bewildering. Their own anti-bullying policy is thus worth bugger all?

I have looked at another school nearby with my daughter which we really like. The Head at that school says if I apply now she can get there for the last two weeks in July to settle in before the summer break.

I am tempted to make the move and then write the governors at the current school a rather strong letter copied to County about my experiences except that my other daughter starts at the current school in September!! i think maybe get her to move shortly thereafter as she will have priority with a sibling at the new school which is currently over-subscribed in the reception class.

The joys of parenthood.....


School culture starts with the head in my experience. Some are wrong-uns


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:12 pm 
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If you don't mind answering, how's your daughter taking it? Thoughts on a potential move?


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:16 pm 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Can I have some advice please.

One of my daughters has been getting bullied at primary school since October and the school are not interested in dealing with it. I think that there is an endemic problem with bullying among girls. I had a meeting with the Head last week ( there have been two earlier meetings in recent months) and when I went over the issues his first response was that the school does not have bullies and he cannot make one kid like another! I find that response utterly bewildering. Their own anti-bullying policy is thus worth bugger all?

I have looked at another school nearby with my daughter which we really like. The Head at that school says if I apply now she can get there for the last two weeks in July to settle in before the summer break.

I am tempted to make the move and then write the governors at the current school a rather strong letter copied to County about my experiences except that my other daughter starts at the current school in September!! i think maybe get her to move shortly thereafter as she will have priority with a sibling at the new school which is currently over-subscribed in the reception class.

The joys of parenthood.....


You will have to go around the Head if they are attempting to pretend there isn't a problem.

It sounds like you'll all be happier at the other place.

Girls are a nightmare, the vindictive ones are usually sneaker wee f*ckers, so you're best to tell your kid to give as good as she gets and then deal with any fallout.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:17 pm 
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Follow your gut feeling would be my advice although it reads to me like you've kind of already made the decision. I'd see that through.

Good luck


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:26 pm 
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One of my myriad sisters is an assistant head of a primary school (which just got upgraded to outstanding by ofsted)

I could run this past her if you want her professional take/advice on it?


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:36 pm 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Can I have some advice please.

One of my daughters has been getting bullied at primary school since October and the school are not interested in dealing with it. I think that there is an endemic problem with bullying among girls. I had a meeting with the Head last week ( there have been two earlier meetings in recent months) and when I went over the issues his first response was that the school does not have bullies and he cannot make one kid like another! I find that response utterly bewildering. Their own anti-bullying policy is thus worth bugger all?

I have looked at another school nearby with my daughter which we really like. The Head at that school says if I apply now she can get there for the last two weeks in July to settle in before the summer break.

I am tempted to make the move and then write the governors at the current school a rather strong letter copied to County about my experiences except that my other daughter starts at the current school in September!! i think maybe get her to move shortly thereafter as she will have priority with a sibling at the new school which is currently over-subscribed in the reception class.

The joys of parenthood.....

Had some experience with my son, I found out who it was and confronted the Parents, his father as it turned out, got a little heated but it stopped after that, bollocks to the school don't waste any more time, its your daughter's future here, bullies need to be sorted out and quick.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 6:08 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
One of my myriad sisters is an assistant head of a primary school (which just got upgraded to outstanding by ofsted)

I could run this past her if you want her professional take/advice on it?

FWIW, her reply:

Oh wow. That sounds miserable, poor them. Honestly I'd get the kid out asap; that response is ridiculous and being bullied is horrible.

Reception is pre-compulsory education, so there's no legal need for the younger child to be enrolled at the crap school if they'd rather avoid that.

If they do decide to enroll her there and wait for a transfer my gut says to hang onto the letter until the transfer. In theory it shouldn't impact her, but in theory they should prevent/address bullying so who knows what the actual practice would be. Their complaints will be no less significant within a year so would still be acted upon later, while there's a chance acting sooner could make life tricky for the younger child.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 6:24 pm 
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Move her straight away. Life is too short and the damage that bullying causes can last a life time. Also solicitors letter to the headmaster personally.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 6:31 pm 
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More a reflection on the school but the anti-bullying policies are there for a reason. I would persist, raise it with any of the SLT you can find

On a more practical note, any school who just buries their head in the sand regarding the policies they create (certainly in NI) aren't worth their salt. I obviously don't know the exact ins and outs but if you can prove that the principal is not dealing with it in line with the policy the school (and likely he formed) I would take it to the local education board, more to benefit those who come after if anything else


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:06 pm 
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backrow wrote:
Tbh if the current school won’t help or listen and denies there are bullies, then it sounds like a shit school with shit teachers, so you are best off moving.

Every school has bullying of some kind, kids are kids and often nasty - to deny bullying exists baffles me a bit. Very tempting just to tell your kid ‘if you get bullied, kick them in the crotch - they will leave you alone then’. Sadly the hippy teachers will only then step in !

Good luck anyways. Bullies are cnunts

And re the younger child , you can have then in nursery after five don’t forget - they only have to start the term after they turn 5 I think (might be wrong on this, but for now your priority is your older kid)


That's precisely what we tell our kids. We naively found that teachers will only do so much and then let the parents work it out. If the parents think their child is an angel then you can't do much. So we told them (if children-teacher mediation fails) to hit back and we'll deal with the consequences with them. Not having our kids dreading school because of this. Fcuk it!


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:09 pm 
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Visit the head and steal their dinner money.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:14 pm 
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Primary teacher here.

"Can't make kids like each other" that's true, but "the school does not have bullies" is a blanket statement I've heard heads say before which basically means, I'm not going to do anything about it. How can a head know if bullying exists or not without being told? They cannot see every interaction on the yard!

A good teacher should be able to explain to the class different forms of bullying and what to do in those situations. The worse type among girls is excluding. This can be as subtle as when a group are standing in a circle talking, they face each without letting the excluded girl enter the conversation, it can be very difficult for a teacher to pick up on. Her teacher should take a few lunches off and discreetly watch the goings on on the yard.

Now to play devil's advocate. Because a child says they are being bullied does not necessarily mean they are. Children often think that being called a name once or twice is bullying, or being hit once is bullying. Bullying is sustained tormenting either physically (very rare), or verbally (sometimes), but the most common amongst girls is excluding. Its insidious and very difficult to deal with, especially if the bullying child/children (and parent/s) are unwilling to admit what's going on.

Does your daughter have other friends in the class she plays with? If she's never had a group of friends she may simply be the kind of child who finds making friendships difficult. If however this is a new phenomenon and she has had friends through school then you have a big issue.

Now as far as changing schools go, it can work; I have a relative who moved their daughter in a similar situation and it worked out very well. However, I have seen children moved around multiple schools as their parent could not face the fact that their child could not make friendships; annoying other children on the yard causing the other children to not want to play with them (this is usually a boy).

It sounds to me that the head cannot be bothered. If your daughter has had friendships in the school before and the bullying now means she does not and is unhappy I would move her as difficult as that is.

Anti bullying policies are just bureaucratic "cover our arse" nonsense, I wouldn't waste your time going that route. Best of luck.


Last edited by paynie on Wed May 22, 2019 8:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:21 pm 
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I had a problem with bullying, then I decided to stop bullying and look after the little feckers instead and let them worship me in a cargo cult sort of way.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:39 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
One of my myriad sisters is an assistant head of a primary school (which just got upgraded to outstanding by ofsted)

I could run this past her if you want her professional take/advice on it?

FWIW, her reply:

Oh wow. That sounds miserable, poor them. Honestly I'd get the kid out asap; that response is ridiculous and being bullied is horrible.

Reception is pre-compulsory education, so there's no legal need for the younger child to be enrolled at the crap school if they'd rather avoid that.

If they do decide to enroll her there and wait for a transfer my gut says to hang onto the letter until the transfer. In theory it shouldn't impact her, but in theory they should prevent/address bullying so who knows what the actual practice would be. Their complaints will be no less significant within a year so would still be acted upon later, while there's a chance acting sooner could make life tricky for the younger child.


https://www.gov.uk/government/organisat ... -procedure

Not exactly an encouraging procedure, and sounds like you’re certainly exposing your child by making a formal complaint.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:40 pm 
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Quote:
Your complaint must relate to the school as a whole, and you must have followed the school’s complaints procedure.
Ofsted cannot:
- consider issues about individual pupils
- investigate specific incidents
- judge how well a school responded to a complaint
- mediate or resolve disputes between you and the school
- consider complaints if there are other legal ways to pursue them (for example, complaints about admissions or providing education for individual pupils with special educational needs)

We may use your information to inform or bring forward future school inspections. Read more about how to complain about a school.


So you’re basically not allowed to say anything about your individual child’s situation or mistreatment else it’s not considered and ignored.

What the actual fck!


Last edited by Yourmother on Wed May 22, 2019 7:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:43 pm 
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Seriously though it awful to think of kids terrified to go to school.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:44 pm 
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lorcanoworms wrote:
I had a problem with bullying, then I decided to stop bullying and look after the little feckers instead and let them worship me in a cargo cult sort of way.


:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 8:52 pm 
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paynie wrote:
Primary teacher here.

"Can't make kids like each other" that's true, but "the school does not have bullies" is a blanket statement I've heard heads say before which basically means, I'm not going to do anything about it. How can a head know if bullying exists or not without being told? They cannot see every interaction on the yard!

A good teacher should be able to explain to the class different forms of bullying and what to do in those situations. The worse type among girls is excluding. This can be as subtle as when a group are standing in a circle talking, they face each without letting the excluded girl enter the conversation, it can be very difficult for a teacher to pick up on. Her teacher should take a few lunches off and discreetly watch the goings on on the yard.

Now to play devil's advocate. Because a child says they are being bullied does not necessarily mean they are. Children often think that being called a name once or twice is bullying, or being hit once is bullying. Bullying is sustained tormenting either physically (very rare), or verbally (sometimes), but the most common amongst girls is excluding. Its insidious and very difficult to deal with, especially if the bullying child/children (and parent/s) are unwilling to admit what's going on.

Does your daughter have other friends in the class she plays with? If she's never had a group of friends she may simply be the kind of child who finds making friendships difficult. If however this is a new phenomenon and she has had friends through school then you have a big issue.

Now as far as changing schools go, it can work; I have a relative who moved their daughter in a similar situation and it worked out very well. However, I have seen children moved around multiple schools as their parent could not face the fact that their child could not make friendships; annoying other children on the yard causing the other children to not want to play with them (this is usually a boy).

It sounds to me that the head cannot be bothered. If your daughter has had friendships in the school before and the bullying now means she does not and is unhappy I would move her as difficult as that is.

Anti bullying policies are just bureaucratic "cover our arse" nonsense, I wouldn't waste your time going that route. Best of luck.


Lolz at your devils advocate - dude comes on here for advice , and half your post is “are you sure your kid isn’t weird and making shit up ?!”

May I ask, are you a parent as well as a teacher ?


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 8:55 pm 
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Thank you so much for these comments and thoughts. I am touched as it has been a stressful time for all of us!

Our daughter is hugely positive about moving after the visit to the other school.

The bullying has been persistent verbal insults and collective exclusion. Up till this year she has had no issues with friendships but moved up to a year with two age groups in the year class. So some older girls started causing trouble and then the others joined in. There was also problems caused by slanderous rumour mongering that was untrue and I won't bore you with that aspect as it would be 5 pages.

Her current school will be losing our daughter who btw is top on the top table in her class despite being the youngest in a class of 36...so f@ck them!!

Thanks all.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 8:59 pm 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Thank you so much for these comments and thoughts. I am touched as it has been a stressful time for all of us!

Our daughter is hugely positive about moving after the visit to the other school.

The bullying has been persistent verbal insults and collective exclusion. Up till this year she has had no issues with friendships but moved up to a year with two age groups in the year class. So some older girls started causing trouble and then the others joined in. There was also problems caused by slanderous rumour mongering that was untrue and I won't bore you with that aspect as it would be 5 pages.

Her current school will be losing our daughter who btw is top on the top table in her class despite being the youngest in a class of 36...so f@ck them!!

Thanks all.

All the best to you and your daughter, VW. Seems like you're on top of things and following the best path for her.

Can't imagine how difficult it has been - your post scared the crap out of me, if I'm honest.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 9:00 pm 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Thank you so much for these comments and thoughts. I am touched as it has been a stressful time for all of us!

Our daughter is hugely positive about moving after the visit to the other school.

The bullying has been persistent verbal insults and collective exclusion. Up till this year she has had no issues with friendships but moved up to a year with two age groups in the year class. So some older girls started causing trouble and then the others joined in. There was also problems caused by slanderous rumour mongering that was untrue and I won't bore you with that aspect as it would be 5 pages.

Her current school will be losing our daughter who btw is top on the top table in her class despite being the youngest in a class of 36...so f@ck them!!

Thanks all.


Teacher (secondary) here, and that's going to hurt the school the most especially if they are one that shows themselves off for their attainment. I only read that it's been going on since October there which is a bit of a piss take especially to fly in the face of the policies in place


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 9:01 pm 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Thank you so much for these comments and thoughts. I am touched as it has been a stressful time for all of us!

Our daughter is hugely positive about moving after the visit to the other school.

The bullying has been persistent verbal insults and collective exclusion. Up till this year she has had no issues with friendships but moved up to a year with two age groups in the year class. So some older girls started causing trouble and then the others joined in. There was also problems caused by slanderous rumour mongering that was untrue and I won't bore you with that aspect as it would be 5 pages.

Her current school will be losing our daughter who btw is top on the top table in her class despite being the youngest in a class of 36...so f@ck them!!

Thanks all.




Good decision. Good luck.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 9:02 pm 
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Class of 36?
Where is this school ? Doesn’t sound good!


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 9:02 pm 
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Good move, fudge them.

I have no sympathy for bullies or lazy teachers that ignore it. If the media/education industry wished to really investigate the background that has led to many of these school shootings (especially in the US) I wonder what they would find? Personally I think they would discover that a lot of the school shooters were victims of bullying, or being socially kicked to the curb, and, often, the first to be shot were the bullies. No excusing those that shot up a school but I think it might shed some light into why these horrible events happen.

Yes, I was bullied at school. I had a horrible stammer when I was a kid, think King George VI level of stammer and was bullied mercilessly by my 'peers.' Also yes, most of my teachers did nothing, especially in elementary school. Been contemplating writing to one of them, teacher I mean, telling her that she had no positive impact on my life.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 9:04 pm 
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backrow wrote:
Class of 36?
Where is this school ? Doesn’t sound good!


bigger classes in primary schools aren't particularly uncommon but 36 is definitely excessive if true


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 9:09 pm 
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CanNZ2000 wrote:
Good move, fudge them.

I have no sympathy for bullies or lazy teachers that ignore it. If the media/education industry wished to really investigate the background that has led to many of these school shootings (especially in the US) I wonder what they would find? Personally I think they would discover that a lot of the school shooters were victims of bullying, or being socially kicked to the curb, and, often, the first to be shot were the bullies. No excusing those that shot up a school but I think it might shed some light into why these horrible events happen.

Yes, I was bullied at school. I had a horrible stammer when I was a kid, think King George VI level of stammer and was bullied mercilessly by my 'peers.' Also yes, most of my teachers did nothing, especially in elementary school. Been contemplating writing to one of them, teacher I mean, telling her that she had no positive impact on my life.


My best mate had a very bad stammer - his nickname was Klunk from Dick dastardly because he made v v v v very odd noises at times . But he wasn’t really bullied for it apart from by the one class naughty girl who made fun of everyone, all the time.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 11:44 pm 
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Bullying toughens kids up.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 11:46 pm 
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Zakar wrote:
Bullying toughens kids up.



Or it ruins their lives and some kill themselves.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 11:53 pm 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Thank you so much for these comments and thoughts. I am touched as it has been a stressful time for all of us!

Our daughter is hugely positive about moving after the visit to the other school.

The bullying has been persistent verbal insults and collective exclusion. Up till this year she has had no issues with friendships but moved up to a year with two age groups in the year class. So some older girls started causing trouble and then the others joined in. There was also problems caused by slanderous rumour mongering that was untrue and I won't bore you with that aspect as it would be 5 pages.

Her current school will be losing our daughter who btw is top on the top table in her class despite being the youngest in a class of 36...so f@ck them!!

Thanks all.


You made the right decision and your daughter will respect the way you stood up for her.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2019 12:57 am 
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Unpopular opinion but some children are now claiming they are being bullied to get attention and get an easy ride from parents/teachers (the kids talk about it - my niece and a nephew have confirmed this).


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2019 1:38 am 
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ZappaMan wrote:
Varsity Way wrote:
Thank you so much for these comments and thoughts. I am touched as it has been a stressful time for all of us!

Our daughter is hugely positive about moving after the visit to the other school.

The bullying has been persistent verbal insults and collective exclusion. Up till this year she has had no issues with friendships but moved up to a year with two age groups in the year class. So some older girls started causing trouble and then the others joined in. There was also problems caused by slanderous rumour mongering that was untrue and I won't bore you with that aspect as it would be 5 pages.

Her current school will be losing our daughter who btw is top on the top table in her class despite being the youngest in a class of 36...so f@ck them!!

Thanks all.

All the best to you and your daughter, VW. Seems like you're on top of things and following the best path for her.

Can't imagine how difficult it has been - your post scared the crap out of me, if I'm honest.


It's my greatest fear with my kids, especially my daughter as girls are meaner in a non physical way.

I'm glad you are taking positive action and more importantly your daughter can see the others for what they are rather than letting it get to her and keeping it to herself.
All the best with the school swap! Your daughter sounds very smart. You must be proud


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2019 1:40 am 
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Varsity Way wrote:
Can I have some advice please.

One of my daughters has been getting bullied at primary school since October and the school are not interested in dealing with it. I think that there is an endemic problem with bullying among girls. I had a meeting with the Head last week ( there have been two earlier meetings in recent months) and when I went over the issues his first response was that the school does not have bullies and he cannot make one kid like another! I find that response utterly bewildering. Their own anti-bullying policy is thus worth bugger all?

I have looked at another school nearby with my daughter which we really like. The Head at that school says if I apply now she can get there for the last two weeks in July to settle in before the summer break.

I am tempted to make the move and then write the governors at the current school a rather strong letter copied to County about my experiences except that my other daughter starts at the current school in September!! i think maybe get her to move shortly thereafter as she will have priority with a sibling at the new school which is currently over-subscribed in the reception class.

The joys of parenthood.....



In the interests of following the strict protocols here on PR, if you are looking for advice on how to deal with this situation then kindly read below:

1. Find the child/ren that is/are bullying your daughter. Kill them in front of the classroom. Blunt instrument or scissors are preferable. No guns.
2. Go to their house and kill the parents and siblings too.
3. Killing pets is optional, but if they have a cat, then it is mandatory. Also snakes. If they have snakes as pets then those must be killed too.
4. This is an optional step, but you could also kill the teachers and headmaster involved.

I guarantee you this will stop the bullying. Or if it doesn't it may take your daughters mind off of it for a while as you go through your court case.[/PR]


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2019 1:50 am 
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In my job I deal with th pointy end of this issue very often.

In terms of the question asked in the OP? If you daughter is being victimised, and the school is unable or unwilling to keep her safe, then I believe you have a duty to move her. Especially if you have an option to move. Why forsake your daughter's mental health to fix a school that is being poorly led?

Generally speaking verbal bullying is much harder to investigate and address. A fight or a punch is much easier to sort out. With verbal, or online bullying, you can spend days investigating seemingly very minor issues, because the kids involved are very, very upset. Generally what I do (I'm in the Primary sector) is if two girls are both behaving poorly or giving as good as they get, and they are just being mean to each other, then I take them out of the playground and I make them sit next to each other in the foyer to my office every lunchbreak for a week or two. As long as it takes to sort out their issues. Usually a day or two in they decide that their petty arguments aren't worth losing free time and being socially outcast from the rest of the students and they are almost always friends after spending forced time together. I will always sanction both parties, even if one girl started the argument. Because A) it's easier to work out who did what than work out who started a chain of events, and B) when it comes to verbal disagreements, retaliation simply fuels the fire.

In the case of the OP, the school sounds like it simply isn't bothering to investigate the issue. I wish you and your daughter every success into the future.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2019 1:59 am 
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Ali's Choice

Quote:
I make them sit next to each other in the foyer to my office every lunchbreak for a week or two. As long as it takes to sort out their issues.


That is an interesting approach and I assume you discuss it with the parents. How do they tend to react?


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2019 2:07 am 
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Kiwias wrote:
Ali's Choice

Quote:
I make them sit next to each other in the foyer to my office every lunchbreak for a week or two. As long as it takes to sort out their issues.


That is an interesting approach and I assume you discuss it with the parents. How do they tend to react?



Once he takes the knives away, they tend to settle down.


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2019 6:57 am 
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AC.....thanks. Good to get yours and others views who are in the profession. Once again, thanks to all.

On class sizes - The number of pupils really is 36 and would be 39 but for relocation of a few pupils earlier in the year! There will be 24 where our daughter is moving to


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 Post subject: Re: School Bullying
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2019 7:18 am 
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Location: Kirikiriroa
Varsity Way wrote:
Can I have some advice please.

One of my daughters has been getting bullied at primary school since October and the school are not interested in dealing with it. I think that there is an endemic problem with bullying among girls. I had a meeting with the Head last week ( there have been two earlier meetings in recent months) and when I went over the issues his first response was that the school does not have bullies and he cannot make one kid like another! I find that response utterly bewildering. Their own anti-bullying policy is thus worth bugger all?

I have looked at another school nearby with my daughter which we really like. The Head at that school says if I apply now she can get there for the last two weeks in July to settle in before the summer break.

I am tempted to make the move and then write the governors at the current school a rather strong letter copied to County about my experiences except that my other daughter starts at the current school in September!! i think maybe get her to move shortly thereafter as she will have priority with a sibling at the new school which is currently over-subscribed in the reception class.

The joys of parenthood.....



:roll: :roll: :roll: honestly the head sounds delusional at best, sounds like if you have an opportunity to get them out of that school take it while you can.


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