Planet Rugby Forum

If the marriage/divorce was nasty. I was asked by a friend to accompany him to his ex mother in-law's funeral. Considering all the shit that happened (court cases, fist fights with her family, threats etc) I reckon he shouldn't go but he has two kids with ex wife.

Advice plz.

If he was invited and the deceased means something to him, he should go. Keep head down of course.

Then leave early in good manner.

There was no official invitation he knew through his kids. The kids asked if he could make it.

Then he should ask his ex if it’s ok if he comes to pay his respects.

Turn up drunk and hit on your ex’s sister.

zt1903 wrote:Then he should ask his ex if it’s ok if he comes to pay his respects.

This - it is his children's grand-parent and they have asked him to come. Yes, he should ask his ex and it may well turn into a time to put the bad bits behind them.

EverReady wrote:Exactly Flamer. This is where the travelling community in Ireland get it right. Funerals are a time to right wrongs and throw shapes. Get tanked up and bring game

Absolutely.
Don’t forget to burn the gaff down afterwards.

Enzedder wrote:

zt1903 wrote:Then he should ask his ex if it’s ok if he comes to pay his respects.

This - it is his children's grand-parent and they have asked him to come. Yes, he should ask his ex and it may well turn into a time to put the bad bits behind them.

He's hardly spoken yo his ex over the last 7yrs and the hate is mutual.

His issue is the kids expecting him to come but they were very young when all the shit went down and don't understand.

CrazyIslander wrote:His issue is the kids expecting him to come but they were very young when all the shit went down and don't understand.

Best to leave well alone so.

Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

Uncle Fester wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:His issue is the kids expecting him to come but they were very young when all the shit went down and don't understand.

Best to leave well alone so.

Yeah that's my advice. But he's intending on going that's why he asked me to go along.

CrazyIslander wrote:If the marriage/divorce was nasty. I was asked by a friend to accompany him to his ex mother in-law's funeral. Considering all the shit that happened (court cases, fist fights with her family, threats etc) I reckon he shouldn't go but he has two kids with ex wife.

Rule 1

Just asking for a fat feline friend

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

Anonymous. wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:If the marriage/divorce was nasty. I was asked by a friend to accompany him to his ex mother in-law's funeral. Considering all the shit that happened (court cases, fist fights with her family, threats etc) I reckon he shouldn't go but he has two kids with ex wife.

Rule 1

Just asking for a fat feline friend

Of my friend or ex wife? I'd fvck the ex wife tbh. But I wouldn't fvck my mate though, he's not my type.

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

How are you still his friend if you were shagging his Mrs?

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

Was the relationship since with the ex-in laws good or indifferent/bad? If good then ask the ex if you could go (especially as kids asked me to go, but don't say because the kids asked me to go (big difference). If the relationship since, was indifferent/bad then fcuk them. Tell the kids life gets more difficult when you are adults and they will understand when older.

Cullen wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

How are you still his friend if you were shagging his Mrs?

Actually that was a hypothetical situation.

LandOTurk wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

Was the relationship since with the ex-in laws good or indifferent/bad? If good then ask the ex if you could go (especially as kids asked me to go, but don't say because the kids asked me to go (big difference). If the relationship since, was indifferent/bad then fcuk them. Tell the kids life gets more difficult when you are adults and they will understand when older.

Would you believe that it waa worse after divorce? Especially involving the kids and property.

Cullen wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

How are you still his friend if you were shagging his Mrs?

CrazyIslander wrote:

LandOTurk wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

Was the relationship since with the ex-in laws good or indifferent/bad? If good then ask the ex if you could go (especially as kids asked me to go, but don't say because the kids asked me to go (big difference). If the relationship since, was indifferent/bad then fcuk them. Tell the kids life gets more difficult when you are adults and they will understand when older.

Would you believe that it waa worse after divorce? Especially involving the kids and property.

Are you talking about the ex-in laws?
Are you saying your relationship with them was not great but got a lot worse after divorce.
If so, sorry for your kids but fcuk the ex-in laws!

How old are the kids?
How is the relationship between him and them? I think he should just tell them it is a bit of a dilemma and stay away.

LandOTurk wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:

LandOTurk wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

Was the relationship since with the ex-in laws good or indifferent/bad? If good then ask the ex if you could go (especially as kids asked me to go, but don't say because the kids asked me to go (big difference). If the relationship since, was indifferent/bad then fcuk them. Tell the kids life gets more difficult when you are adults and they will understand when older.

Would you believe that it waa worse after divorce? Especially involving the kids and property.

Are you talking about the ex-in laws?
Are you saying your relationship with them was not great but got a lot worse after divorce.
If so, sorry for your kids but fcuk the ex-in laws!

I meant mate's relationship with ex and whole family got worse.

Bokkom wrote:How old are the kids?
How is the relationship between him and them? I think he should just tell them it is a bit of a dilemma and stay away.

With kids? Great . Or with In-laws? Nasty. I really don't think he should do it.

Anonymous. wrote:

Cullen wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

How are you still his friend if you were shagging his Mrs?

+

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

"He" sound like he is carrying a load of emotional baggage and should definitely ask the ex first, rather than rocking up with the kids asking him as an excuse and causing a shittier time for the family who are having to bury their mother as it is, and probably don't want to have to deal with that on top.

The kids will get over it. Take them out for lunch and call it a celebration of their gran's life and make it a yearly thing

Take a pigeon with you.

Dark wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:

Cullen wrote:Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

"He" sound like he is carrying a load of emotional baggage and should definitely ask the ex first, rather than rocking up with the kids asking him as an excuse and causing a shittier time for the family who are having to bury their mother as it is, and probably don't want to have to deal with that on top.

The kids will get over it. Take them out for lunch and call it a celebration of their gran's life and make it a yearly thing

"He"? No its not me, I'm still happily married although my in-laws are a pain I live in a different city so it's ok. I think he's been competing for affection from kids and doesn't want to let them down somewhat. Kids naturally are closer to the mother I find. Over time I think that can change.

happyhooker wrote:Take a pigeon with you.

I am the pigeon - wingman at a funeral.

Assuming the kids get on with your ex and her parents, I would have them contact their mother and let her know you will take them there and pick them up but there is no way I would attend.

Then I'd take the kids out for a lovely remembrance lunch. so they can share their feelings about their grandma with you.

CrazyIslander wrote:

Bokkom wrote:How old are the kids?
How is the relationship between him and them? I think he should just tell them it is a bit of a dilemma and stay away.

With kids? Great . Or with In-laws? Nasty. I really don't think he should do it.

So he has a bitter, hateful relationship with his ex and his relationship with the in laws is nasty? No way he should be going anywhere near the funeral except to drop off and pick up the kids.

Make sure he takes some garlic to throw into the hole on top of the coffin....

Man has solid chance to avoid a shitstorm. Man wonders whether he should plough right into it.

Observers nod sagely and agree with one another that this guy's ex-wife wasn't fcuking the biggest idiot in the locality after all.

redderneck wrote:Man has solid chance to avoid a shitstorm. Man wonders whether he should plough right into it.

Observers nod sagely and agree with one another that this guy's ex-wife wasn't fcuking the biggest idiot in the locality after all.

Naiiiiiled it.

Get him to give a short eulogy
“She will be sorely missed, was better in bed than her daughter”

CrazyIslander wrote:If the marriage/divorce was nasty. I was asked by a friend to accompany him to his ex mother in-law's funeral. Considering all the shit that happened (court cases, fist fights with her family, threats etc) I reckon he shouldn't go but he has two kids with ex wife.

If my ex croaked I wouldn't go unless specifically asked by my kids - the In Laws no fecking chance!!

Openside wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:If the marriage/divorce was nasty. I was asked by a friend to accompany him to his ex mother in-law's funeral. Considering all the shit that happened (court cases, fist fights with her family, threats etc) I reckon he shouldn't go but he has two kids with ex wife.

If my ex croaked I wouldn't go unless specifically asked by my kids - the In Laws no fecking chance!!

It’s more difficult when the breadwinner is the village idiot

houtkabouter wrote:

Openside wrote:

CrazyIslander wrote:If the marriage/divorce was nasty. I was asked by a friend to accompany him to his ex mother in-law's funeral. Considering all the shit that happened (court cases, fist fights with her family, threats etc) I reckon he shouldn't go but he has two kids with ex wife.

If my ex croaked I wouldn't go unless specifically asked by my kids - the In Laws no fecking chance!!

It’s more difficult when the breadwinner is the village idiot

Sounds as though she is serially into village idiots. Why the fudge would he want to go? What possible good can come of it?