If the marriage/divorce was nasty. I was asked by a friend to accompany him to his ex mother in-law's funeral. Considering all the shit that happened (court cases, fist fights with her family, threats etc) I reckon he shouldn't go but he has two kids with ex wife.

Advice plz.

If he was invited and the deceased means something to him, he should go. Keep head down of course.

Then leave early in good manner.

There was no official invitation he knew through his kids. The kids asked if he could make it.

Then he should ask his ex if it’s ok if he comes to pay his respects.

Turn up drunk and hit on your ex’s sister.

Exactly Flamer. This is where the travelling community in Ireland get it right. Funerals are a time to right wrongs and throw shapes. Get tanked up and bring game

This - it is his children's grand-parent and they have asked him to come. Yes, he should ask his ex and it may well turn into a time to put the bad bits behind them.

Absolutely. 👍
Don’t forget to burn the gaff down afterwards.

He's hardly spoken yo his ex over the last 7yrs and the hate is mutual.

His issue is the kids expecting him to come but they were very young when all the shit went down and don't understand.

While crying and mashing ham sandwiches into your gob

Best to leave well alone so.

Best to ask the ex first.
See if he could be of help with his kids transport or support.
Otherwise support the kids before/after/the next day away from the ex

On a side note I never really understood the bitter divorce situation. You were married, had kids then it didn’t work out. Just separate respectfully.

Yeah that's my advice. But he's intending on going that's why he asked me to go along.

Rule 1

Just asking for a fat feline friend

It's more complicated I guess. Betrayal, being treated like a fool, economics etc. Imagine being the breadwinner whilst your wife was fvcking the local idiot. Then she divorces you and expects you to move out so the idiot can move in.

Of my friend or ex wife? I'd fvck the ex wife tbh. But I wouldn't fvck my mate though, he's not my type.

How are you still his friend if you were shagging his Mrs?

Was the relationship since with the ex-in laws good or indifferent/bad? If good then ask the ex if you could go (especially as kids asked me to go, but don't say because the kids asked me to go (big difference). If the relationship since, was indifferent/bad then fcuk them. Tell the kids life gets more difficult when you are adults and they will understand when older.

Actually that was a hypothetical situation.

Would you believe that it waa worse after divorce? Especially involving the kids and property.

Are you talking about the ex-in laws?
Are you saying your relationship with them was not great but got a lot worse after divorce.
If so, sorry for your kids but fcuk the ex-in laws!

How old are the kids?
How is the relationship between him and them? I think he should just tell them it is a bit of a dilemma and stay away.

I meant mate's relationship with ex and whole family got worse.

With kids? Great . Or with In-laws? Nasty. I really don't think he should do it.

+

"He" sound like he is carrying a load of emotional baggage and should definitely ask the ex first, rather than rocking up with the kids asking him as an excuse and causing a shittier time for the family who are having to bury their mother as it is, and probably don't want to have to deal with that on top.

The kids will get over it. Take them out for lunch and call it a celebration of their gran's life and make it a yearly thing

Take a pigeon with you.

"He"? No its not me, I'm still happily married although my in-laws are a pain I live in a different city so it's ok. I think he's been competing for affection from kids and doesn't want to let them down somewhat. Kids naturally are closer to the mother I find. Over time I think that can change.

I am the pigeon - wingman at a funeral.

Assuming the kids get on with your ex and her parents, I would have them contact their mother and let her know you will take them there and pick them up but there is no way I would attend.

Then I'd take the kids out for a lovely remembrance lunch. so they can share their feelings about their grandma with you.

So he has a bitter, hateful relationship with his ex and his relationship with the in laws is nasty? No way he should be going anywhere near the funeral except to drop off and pick up the kids.

Make sure he takes some garlic to throw into the hole on top of the coffin....

Man has solid chance to avoid a shitstorm. Man wonders whether he should plough right into it.

Observers nod sagely and agree with one another that this guy's ex-wife wasn't fcuking the biggest idiot in the locality after all.

Naiiiiiled it.

Get him to give a short eulogy
“She will be sorely missed, was better in bed than her daughter”

If my ex croaked I wouldn't go unless specifically asked by my kids - the In Laws no fecking chance!!