Stomach flu/food poisoning

[look_spanky]

Had this twice in two months, not sure if I’m just unlucky or should be concerned about being particularly at risk from certain foods. Last night was shocking, going at both ends at the same time. If someone had offered euthanasia I’d have seriously considered it. Worst part was having to drive 3 hours home because the missus is more concerned about getting the kids to pre school than my health, the Bach owner even offered for us to stay another night for free.

No point to this thread, other than to say there is no god.

[bimboman]

Not sure how old you are ,

If food poisoning it’s likely the same infection (listeria maybe) , take advice on diet and treatments as it hangs around.

If it happens again get a proper check up,

[look_spanky]

34

[bimboman]

34

Should be fine then.

Any blood ?

[EverReady]

It's highly likely your wife is slowly poisoning you. It's probably a tincture that she puts on your cereal and it is slowly killing you. Not much to be done about it I'm afraid

[Sputnik V]

it will be diagnosed as covid if you go to quack

[MungoMan]

Had this twice in two months, not sure if I’m just unlucky or should be concerned about being particularly at risk from certain foods. Last night was shocking, going at both ends at the same time. If someone had offered euthanasia I’d have seriously considered it. Worst part was having to drive 3 hours home because the missus is more concerned about getting the kids to pre school than my health, the Bach owner even offered for us to stay another night for free.

No point to this thread, other than to say there is no god.

Had anything to do with Russians in the last few months?

[look_spanky]

34

Should be fine then.

Any blood ?

No blood that I’m aware of.

Does anyone have any experience of exercising in the week of such an illness? I have a squash tournament this Friday which is obviously a pretty intense sport. There are points up for grabs so I don’t want to waste my time if I’m just going to start flagging after 10 minutes.

[look_spanky]

It's highly likely your wife is slowly poisoning you. It's probably a tincture that she puts on your cereal and it is slowly killing you. Not much to be done about it I'm afraid

I don’t eat cereal, but she has been rather more enthusiastic about cooking dinner recently...

[Gavin Duffy]

34

Have you shat green?

[EverReady]

It's highly likely your wife is slowly poisoning you. It's probably a tincture that she puts on your cereal and it is slowly killing you. Not much to be done about it I'm afraid

I don’t eat cereal, but she has been rather more enthusiastic about cooking dinner recently...

Get your affairs in order.
I have a sensitive stomach so often end up in hassle the week of something competitive. You have loads of time. Get electrolytes in and start replenishing quickly as you can. You're stomach will be ropey but tbh you won't want mad shit that will irritate it.

[look_spanky]

34

Have you shat green?

Yeah it has been a bit of a forest green actually.

[True Blue]

I find it hangs around. I've only had it three times in my adult life (that resulted in vomiting/shits) and they were all in the same year, literally within months of each other.

Either that or the wife was poisoning me.

[Gavin Duffy]

34

Have you shat green?

Yeah it has been a bit of a forest green actually.

Go see your doctor, your gut flora could well be messed up. Needs sorting.

[Gwenno]

Consider inflammatory bowel disease.

[ovalball]

Consider inflammatory bowel disease.

If your doctor also considers it - be prepared for some invasive examinations on a regular basis !!

[Gwenno]

Consider inflammatory bowel disease.

If your doctor also considers it - be prepared for some invasive examinations on a regular basis !!

‘Riding the black python’
Also, medical in-joke - alluding to the fact that surgeons can be a bit bolshy sometimes - ‘a colonoscope- the only medical instrument with a shit at both ends’

[Sputnik V]

No flu this year, its banned

[look_spanky]

34

Have you shat green?

Yeah it has been a bit of a forest green actually.

Go see your doctor, your gut flora could well be messed up. Needs sorting.

I did take anti-biotics twice last year for something that the GP could have likely dealt with with a minor incision but were obviously too lazy. Seem to hand out anti-biotics like candy even with an impending disaster looming in regards to bacterial anti-biotic resistance. Both times I spent days on the toilet and they didn't work. Really f**ked me off as I'm against taking anti-biotics unless absolutely necessary given the havoc they wreak on your microbiota.

In fact, as sad as it is, I have developed a general distrust of GPs. Time and time again I have been let down with poor advice or misdiagnosis. I don't blame them as the science moves so fast and they're trying to sort someones issues out in 15 minutes and onto the next patient. A lot of doctors also struggle to change their views even if the science has.

[look_spanky]

Consider inflammatory bowel disease.

I'm normally pretty good, once a day, good consistency. Tend to eat a low-carb diet with not too much fruit or vegetables. The old man definitely has it but is in denial and has been for years.

Before these two episodes I hadn't had any bouts of food poisoning or other viruses for years, only a run in with some sugar-free lollies.

[Thomas]

Up until I had kids, I could count on one hand how many times I've had gastro. But as soon as my spawn started attending daycare, I was getting it once every 6 months. It would rip through our house like wildfire. The last bout I had affected me worse than my kids or wife (we all end up getting it). It destroyed me for a good 5 days.

[look_spanky]

Up until I had kids, I could count on one hand how many times I've had gastro. But as soon as my spawn started attending daycare, I was getting it once every 6 months. It would rip through our house like wildfire. The last bout I had affected me worse than my kids or wife (we all end up getting it). It destroyed me for a good 5 days.

We haven't had a single bout of that with our kids yet (touch wood), although the youngest has only just started pre school this week. However I spent most of 2019 with head colds and a serious bout of man-flu, when I actually thought I was going to die. Of course I got a lot of sympathy from my partner during this event. In between repeated periods of unconciousness I can still remember her standing over the bed, hands on her hips, rolling her eyes as I moaned like a cast sheep.

[puku]

I suggest you get a fecal transplant to rebalance your gut microflora before your squash tourney

[Enzedder]

Up until I had kids, I could count on one hand how many times I've had gastro. But as soon as my spawn started attending daycare, I was getting it once every 6 months. It would rip through our house like wildfire. The last bout I had affected me worse than my kids or wife (we all end up getting it). It destroyed me for a good 5 days.

Proof indeed that you cannot function without being full of it.

[Salient]

I find it hangs around. I've only had it three times in my adult life (that resulted in vomiting/shits) and they were all in the same year, literally within months of each other.

Either that or the wife was poisoning me.

Blues fan, 60% of the population are suspects

Had flu like shite for the past month, can't shake it, awesome in covid times. Sore throat hey, covid test time ... again!

[look_spanky]

Well it’s back again. Into my third day of watery bowel movements, sounds like there’s a pod of whales in my intestines. I’m constantly amazed at how much liquid can keep coming out when you seemingly have nothing left to give.

Of course, very little sympathy from the mrs. As if I planned this to ruin her weekend.

[Enzedder]

Saffers don't believe in it

[mr bungle]

Well it’s back again. Into my third day of watery bowel movements, sounds like there’s a pod of whales in my intestines. I’m constantly amazed at how much liquid can keep coming out when you seemingly have nothing left to give.

Of course, very little sympathy from the mrs. As if I planned this to ruin her weekend.

Keep some folded toilet paper in the freezer to help prevent ring sting.

[Ted.]

Well it’s back again. Into my third day of watery bowel movements, sounds like there’s a pod of whales in my intestines. I’m constantly amazed at how much liquid can keep coming out when you seemingly have nothing left to give.

Of course, very little sympathy from the mrs. As if I planned this to ruin her weekend.

Keep some folded toilet paper in the freezer to help prevent ring sting.

There speaks a man of experience.

[MungoMan]

Well it’s back again. Into my third day of watery bowel movements, sounds like there’s a pod of whales in my intestines. I’m constantly amazed at how much liquid can keep coming out when you seemingly have nothing left to give.

Of course, very little sympathy from the mrs. As if I planned this to ruin her weekend.

Keep some folded toilet paper in the freezer to help prevent ring sting.

Advice I shall certainly remember. Ta for that!

[mr bungle]

Well it’s back again. Into my third day of watery bowel movements, sounds like there’s a pod of whales in my intestines. I’m constantly amazed at how much liquid can keep coming out when you seemingly have nothing left to give.

Of course, very little sympathy from the mrs. As if I planned this to ruin her weekend.

Keep some folded toilet paper in the freezer to help prevent ring sting.

Advice I shall certainly remember. Ta for that!

Old family friend gave us the life hack years ago. Must say I doubted him at first but the next time I had day upon day of bum wees I remembered his sage advice. I'd add to get onto it early.

[guy smiley]

These...




are the answer.

[mr bungle]

Saw one of these last night. Friend's parents had renovated the bathroom and added one of these to existing toilet pedestal.

Electronic bidet seat with Quiet-Close™, Quick-Release™.
Retrofit to existing toilets (please refer to reseller for compatibility check).
High grade stainless steel wand for rear/bidet wash – self cleaning.
Oscillating and normal spray.
Heated water reservoir – ensuring immediate warm spray.
Heated seat. Heated air dryer. Deodouriser function.
2-level power saving modes.
No interference with standard toilet functionality.
Includes dual check valve, T connector, water inlet hose, seat fixing kit,
Water filter and electronic bidet seat.
Watermark certified to WMTS051:2016 and complies with electrical safety standards AS/NZS 60335.2.84
Supplied with a low-medium hazard backflow protection device complying with AS/NZS 2845.1. Device must be installed in accordance with AS/NZS 3500.1
Note: Maximum user weight 120kg

[guy smiley]

Bit of a luxury item, yeah? I prefer the simplicity of the bum gun myself, as well as the inherent ability it offers to direct the flow where you want it... those bidet things with their fixed jet arrangement require some butt cheek yoga moves for maximum satisfaction.

[mr bungle]

Bit of a luxury item, yeah? I prefer the simplicity of the bum gun myself, as well as the inherent ability it offers to direct the flow where you want it... those bidet things with their fixed jet arrangement require some butt cheek yoga moves for maximum satisfaction.

Never tried one. Heated seat, heated water, and drying action, one's bum could get used to it.

NZ$850.

[guy smiley]

Bit of a luxury item, yeah? I prefer the simplicity of the bum gun myself, as well as the inherent ability it offers to direct the flow where you want it... those bidet things with their fixed jet arrangement require some butt cheek yoga moves for maximum satisfaction.

Never tried one. Heated seat, heated water, and drying action, one's bum could get used to it.

NZ$850.

Heated seat, eh? hmmmm... I can see the attraction in that

I'm well acquainted with the bum gun as I've spent a bit of time in SE Asia where they're common. In addition to the efficiency of a well placed water jet in cleaning and potentially cooling the poop chute in a high spice dietary region, there's also the issue of lower paper consumption to consider in these toilet paper conscious times... a single sheet dab dry is all that's needed, post dousing.

[Enzedder]

Saw one of these last night. Friend's parents had renovated the bathroom and added one of these to existing toilet pedestal.

Electronic bidet seat with Quiet-Close™, Quick-Release™.
Retrofit to existing toilets (please refer to reseller for compatibility check).
High grade stainless steel wand for rear/bidet wash – self cleaning.
Oscillating and normal spray.
Heated water reservoir – ensuring immediate warm spray.
Heated seat. Heated air dryer. Deodouriser function.
2-level power saving modes.
No interference with standard toilet functionality.
Includes dual check valve, T connector, water inlet hose, seat fixing kit,
Water filter and electronic bidet seat.
Watermark certified to WMTS051:2016 and complies with electrical safety standards AS/NZS 60335.2.84
Supplied with a low-medium hazard backflow protection device complying with AS/NZS 2845.1. Device must be installed in accordance with AS/NZS 3500.1
Note: Maximum user weight 120kg

It'll never sell in South Auckland

[MungoMan]

Saw one of these last night. Friend's parents had renovated the bathroom and added one of these to existing toilet pedestal.

I want one where a big purple tongue emerges from the depths and licks my d8 clean.

Every. Fucken. Time.

I would be willing to pay serious money for that.

[Leinsterman]

Maximum user weight 120kg? That might prove troublesome for some posters.

[mr bungle]

Maximum user weight 120kg? That might prove troublesome for some posters.

Yes I noted that when I posted. Also the point of Enzed’s provocative/bigoted post