Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

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Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

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"I can acknowledge it and I accept the ramification. But I won't accept that I was a 10, 11-year-old boy and I was walking into an ambush. It shouldn't have happened."

There are small moments around which our lives turn. A chance encounter, a diagnosis, a shared connection.

The defining moment in Tony Daly's life happened when he was just 11.

The man who he claims sexually abused him was a Catholic brother at his new boarding school.

He'd just been sent to St Joseph's in Sydney — better known as Joeys — one of Australia's biggest and most prestigious Catholic boys' schools, a virtual rugby union factory, famous for pumping out future Wallabies.

Tony Daly was one of them. He reached the highest of highs, achieving a lifelong ambition to represent his country.

He played 41 Tests and scored the winning and only try in Australia's 1991 World Cup final victory over England.

He was on top of the world.

But just a few years later, it all began to spiral out of control.

Dropped from the Wallabies, failed marriages, alcohol, drug and gambling abuse, petty crimes, driving offences, court convictions, a warrant for his arrest and a front-page headline letting the whole world know when he was at his lowest point and least able to deal with the consequences.

Now, Tony Daly is ready to tell his story about the sexual abuse that he says happened when he was just 11 and how that shaped the rest of his life.

On his terms.

"It's had a grounding or a paving the way for everything in my life. Everything. Everything. The successes and failures, it's all got to do with that, without question."

A man leans on a balcony and looks into the distance.
Daly played for Australia between 1989 and 1995, helping the Wallabies to a World Cup win in 1991.(ABC News: Brendan Esposito)
A life-defining moment

It was a happy childhood, but by no means conventional.

"Dad was in the hotel industry with his father", a "true old publican," Daly says of his father, John.

The family lived on top of the famous Como Hotel in Sydney's Sutherland Shire at a time when pub life could be brutal, violence was commonplace and the drinking, extreme.

They'd stay up there till all hours of night and yeah, there'd be blood on the floor most Sunday nights," Daly says.

John was strict and tough from a strict and tough Catholic family — one where the children were seen and not heard. Some of that thinking and certainly traditions were passed down. Daly describes his upbringing as being strongly Catholic, complete with mass and confession every Sunday.

A black and white photo of a schoolboy in his uniform.
Daly had a strong Catholic upbringing and was sent to boarding school when he was 10.(Supplied: Tony Daly)
His father went to the Marist Brothers school, St Joseph's in Sydney's Hunters Hill, along with Daly's uncles and all of his cousins.

"It's been quite a family, you know, tradition, being at St Joseph's College," Daly says.

And so, just 10, shy, with a big mop of curly hair and, as he describes it, "chubby", Tony Daly was packed off to a very different world of old sandstone towers, Catholic priests and bullying on the other side of the city.

"It was quite intimidating and scary. Because you know, you're only a young kid, and living with 930 other blokes under the same roof."

And if you don't fit in, watch out, because there's nowhere to hide. Daly was teased and bullied incessantly.

"I was a bit of a chubby kid when I started, you know. I got a bit of a hard time."

His nickname was "Beachball."

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One Catholic brother offered some respite from the bullying in the first few weeks that Daly spent at Joeys.

"The other brothers, they were too busy looking after 90 out of 95 other kids in the form. So, you know, he was kind to me, he was nice. Yeah."

"I got 'Beachball this and that' and 'look at you' and he goes, 'If you don't want to get teased you can come in.'"

The pretext was kindness, but in reality, it was classic grooming.

"He was making me feel confident and happy within myself because he was being nice to me, because I was getting a bit of a hard time and any friend will do," Daly says.

But once behind closed doors the brother stripped down to his singlet and started fondling Daly's hair and face, calling him a "beautiful boy".

That's when the sexual abuse began.

"Second time he started something, but well and truly into it by the third."

Circumstances demanded that he saw the brother regularly.

Each visit meant another bout of sexual abuse and the pain that followed.

But how does a boy, who's just turned 11, make sense of a man touching him where he shouldn't have been touched, or making him do things that no child should do?

A man looks at the camera and has his hand on his chin as if he's thinking.
Tony Daly says he was abused about a dozen times over two years.(ABC News: Brendan Esposito)
It was confusing: Here was a brother, who was being a friend, who was protecting him from the boys who were bullying him, offering him kindness.

But it was uncomfortable. It hurt.

"It felt a little awkward and weird. But I thought well, this is the way things are, if that makes sense," Daly says.

Going to the sick bay was too embarrassing and so he kept it to himself and told no-one.

"I was 10 or 11, I really didn't have an understanding and an opinion of anything. I just did as I was told because I was 11 and brother told me to do that, so, I did it," he says.

"There's nothing complicated about it. It's as simple as that."

Daly says he was abused maybe a dozen times over two years.

But as he entered puberty in year 9, the brother lost interest, while at the same time, Daly began to realise he was interested in girls.

The penny dropped. That wasn't normal — friends don't repeatedly sexually abuse you.

"You develop your sexuality, and you start switching on from a 10-year-old to a 14-year-old, you're starting to realise that hang on, something's different here. And I'm thinking 'Crikey, I wasn't supposed to be doing that sort of stuff,'" Daly says.

"Then you start thinking, Oh, God, I've been had."

He felt, stupid, ashamed, angry, guilty, depressed.

Using rugby to forget

Sport was his saving grace at a school that valued rugby union as second only to God, and now he threw everything into it.

"Although I was also a fat kid, I was very fast. I was a good footballer," he says.

He hit the gym and trained relentlessly.

"I knew if I was going to be better than anyone else, I had to be stronger and faster. And I pretty much was."

By the time he was 17 he was 100 kilos but could still run 100 metres in just a little over 11 seconds.

"And I ended up playing for the First XV. I never got a hard time after that, I started knocking people out and breaking legs and collarbones," Daly says.

"I had a gift."

A teenager in a red and blue striped jersey plays rugby union.
On the field for St Joseph's under-16s, Daly lived and breathed rugby union with a goal of playing for Australia.(Supplied: Tony Daly)
Rugby allowed him to excel at something, but also push down the abuse — to forget.

"I'd go for a run every morning, I hit the gym, I'd always train, be going for runs," he says.

Exhaustion was the goal. If he didn't train hard enough, he'd lie awake in bed thinking about the abuse.

"Something was driving me, just not the fact that I just wanted to play for Australia," Daly says.

The trauma remained a deeply hidden secret. He told no-one. After years of constant bullying and despite his realisation that he was attracted to girls, he lived in fear that if anyone found out he'd be accused of homosexuality, which in early 1980s Australia was among the worst insults imaginable.

But the constant training and gym sessions paid off for Daly who managed to suppress the memories of the abuse while excelling on the football field.

A schoolboy runs with a ball while playing rugby union.
Daly played in the First XV when he was 17 years old.(Supplied: Tony Daly)
By the time he finished school in 1984, he was doing 1,000 push-ups a day, lifting weights, training constantly and working as a bouncer, cellarman and barman at one of his father's pubs.

Rugby became everything to Tony Daly.

"It was the cornerstone of a life that gave me all the success. And it was the cornerstone for something that I could motivate to after what happened at school.

"So, I identified it as my life, my core, my heart."

Before long, Wallabies coach Bob Dwyer got wind of the young prop who could run as fast as a backrower.

And so, Tony Daly became just the second person to get picked for the Wallabies without first playing for their state.

It was 1989, Daly was 23 and he was about to face the toughest test in rugby union — playing against the All Blacks at their home fortress in Auckland.

"They called it 'a baptism of fire', you know. We're looking at the haka and I'm going what the … am I doing here? I can't even remember the game," he remembers, laughing.

"But look, I must have done all right, I was there for 40 more Tests."

Three men bend down to look at the camera during rugby union training.
Daly (right) was part of a Wallabies front row with Phil Kearns and Ewen McKenzie, which became the nucleus of a team that ended up as the best in the world.(Supplied: Tony Daly)
By the time 1991 rolled around, Dwyer had constructed a squad of youth and experience ready to take on the world at that year's World Cup in England.

The future Australian captain, John Eales, first met Daly at a training camp early that year.

"If 'Dales' is in the room you know he's there," Eales says.

"He was always very funny, great sense of humour and could easily make people laugh. And he was an incredibly talented rugby player as well — his natural skills, athleticism and strength, were great, great assets for him."

Australia made it through the competition undefeated before playing England in the final.

With just a three-point lead, the Wallabies secured a lineout just 5 metres from the English line, with a try beckoning.

Tony Daly takes up the story.

"I've come around and my old mate, Ewen McKenzie lagged in on the end of it and we both went over at the same time."

The commentators are confused, calling the try for McKenzie, but the record books were written differently.

"The referee said that I had the ball from the start of the lineout, and I had it from start to finish, so he gave it to me," Daly says.

Australia went on to win their first World Cup by 12 points to 6. Daly's try was the only one of the match.

After the game, the rugged prop was fourth in line to hold up the World Cup and then receive his winners' medallion and daintily shake hands with the Queen.

"She says 'nice shirt'. I said yeah, 'nice coat'," he remembers, laughing.

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WATCH
Duration: 1 minute 3 seconds1m 3s
Tony Daly played an integral part for Australia in the 1991 Rugby World Cup final against England
Tony Daly was at the pinnacle of his sport: the scorer of the winning try in the World Cup final, a pivotal member of the best team in the world.

He was living the life he'd always dreamed of, representing his country in the sport he loved surrounded by his best mates.

But while the success and camaraderie of his rugby family had helped to suppress the memories of his sexual abuse, it had never completely gone — rather it was lying, quietly dormant.

"There was always some feeling inside me that was always on pause, it was in remission until it came out again," he says.

Things started to fall apart four years later when he was dropped from his beloved Wallabies during the 1995 World Cup.

It was a crushing and bitter blow.

On a downward spiral

Daly's identity was gone and along with it the support around him, the membership of a team, a community, and the status of belonging to a privileged club — the Wallabies.

"You know, we'd succeeded, and all of a sudden it was taken away from me," he says.

"You have your regrets and grieving when you do get dropped — because that meant a lot to me, and I was there for a long time."

Without the distraction of rugby and success, the abuse that he'd been able to suppress came bubbling up to the surface.

By his early 30s he began to spiral: He was drinking heavily, often till he passed out, waking to find a full beer in his hand.

The goal was getting drunk enough to forget the abuse, but when he was drunk, he'd sometimes commit petty thefts.

If it wasn't booze it was drugs — or both.

A man stands in front of a framed jacket hanging on the wall, with his arms crossed.
By his early 30s Daly was drinking heavily, taking drugs and gambling. He also had failed marriages and businesses, and was declared bankrupt.(ABC News: Brendan Esposito)
He lost his licence but kept driving.

He gambled, businesses failed, and he was declared bankrupt.

Two marriages fell apart.

"I was going out excessively, sadly. Probably going out to different parties with different friends, you know, probably divulging too much in the drinking sense, and in other areas."

"You're depressed enough about things that are happening, let alone depressed enough about what's happened in your past.

"And people are going, 'What's going on with Dales? What's he doing?' And no-one knew.

"I just wish I'd just announced it to get help. But I couldn't, I didn't know how."

Still, he didn't tell anyone, and yet all he had to do was ask.

The support was there, but his teammates, like John Eales, had no idea.

"I remember reaching out to him at one stage, he didn't seem that keen to be in touch necessarily," Eales says.

"Unfortunately, I was very unaware of a lot of what was going on behind the scenes."

Tony Daly's crimes started piling up — petty theft, and six counts of driving whilst disqualified, which is a jailable offence in New South Wales where he lived.

There were court dates over eight years, but he never showed up. He says he didn't know how to handle it and so he avoided it altogether. In his absence he was given suspended sentences, bonds, community service and weekend detention.

"I was dodging bullets, sidestepping landmines," he says.

A man sits in a lounge chair.
Daly says he wishes he asked for help, but he didn't know how.(ABC News: Brendan Esposito)
'The damage is done'

Tony Daly doesn't cry when he talks about the abuse that occurred to him when he was just 11, he recounts it matter-of-factly. It was the catalyst for so many of his actions later in his life, but it wasn't his fault, and it wasn't within his control.

But when he recounts the destruction of his personal life in his 30s and 40s the sense of shame is palpable and it's then he has to wipe away a tear; has to pause.

"You get angry about what you've done. Because, you know, you just let yourself down."

And others.

"I've gone to apologise to the people, but you know, the damage is done," Daly says.

"There's a difference between a reason and an excuse. But when you drink too much is sometimes when you do things you don't remember. And I'm a classic for it, you know."

Eventually, in 2015, a warrant was issued for his arrest on driving whilst disqualified charges and he was tracked down at a rugby function at a swank Sydney bar.

"They knew I was gonna be there. The guy came up, he said, 'We're here for you. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way,'" Daly recounts.

"I said, 'I'll follow you to the lift, officer.'"

It wasn't the lowest point, but the arrest forced Daly to take stock of his life.

A man stands in front of a federation style staircase.
A warrant was issued for Daly's arrest in 2015, when he was tracked down by police at a rugby function.(ABC News: Brendan Esposito)
Shortly after, he made a significant step forward when his former Wallaby captain, Nick Farr-Jones, put him in touch with a Sydney respiratory doctor who specialised in sleep disorders and had worked extensively with returned soldiers suffering trauma.

"And he met me within five seconds. He says, 'You got something to tell me. Something happened with you didn't it? Where did it happen? School?'

"I'm sitting there going 'f***ing hell, who is this bloke?' And he was spot on."

It was then, almost 40 years after a Catholic brother at St Joseph's College sexually abused him, he finally told someone for the first time.

He was diagnosed with PTSD and put on medication.

But that didn't solve things with the judge who was hearing his driving whilst disqualified case in 2017 and who was looking at sending Daly to jail.

Daly recalls a meeting with the judge in a private room: "He said, "Listen, you need to give me something because I've got nowhere to go, but incarceration. What's going on with you?'

"I said, "Look judge, I got abused when I was at school.'

"And he said, 'I f***ing knew it, you were a Joeys boy, weren't you?'

"I said, 'Yeah.'

"He said, 'I knew it. I knew there was something going on here.'"

He was given 500 hours of community service and banned from driving.

But the greater penalty was when his admission about his abuse was splashed over the front page of a Sydney newspaper two days later.

A still of a newspaper article with the headline 'From wounded joey to broken Wallaby'.
Daly says he was blindsided by an article detailing his experiences as a boy.(ABC News)
He claims he didn't realise a conversation he'd had with a journalist would appear in the press and was blindsided by the sudden coverage of what had been a deeply held and private secret at the lowest point of his life.

"I felt genuinely sorry for him," says John Eales as he recounts reading the news.

"I think the first feeling and probably the predominant feeling is sadness, because you think no-one should experience that. There's nothing more abhorrent than someone being offended against and paedophilia."

Eales says he had a great experience growing up in a Catholic family and going to a Catholic school.

"But to hear that some people, not only didn't have that experience, but had an experience that was so atrocious and so potentially harmful, is really sad."

And of course, it wasn't an isolated event.

At the same time Daly faced court, the nation was transfixed and horrified by testimony provided by victims to the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.

Daly told his story in a private session with royal commissioner Justice Peter McClellan — one of many victims who told the commissioner they suffered abuse while under the care of Catholic institutions.

John Eales at the John Eales Medal
Former Wallabies captain John Eales and Daly meet every few months, with Eales saying he's seen Daly change over the last four years.(AAP: Robert Shakespeare)
Eales and Daly now meet every few months for breakfast — the former captain is one of a group of Wallabies who have rallied around Daly.

"I think he is very much more aware of his actions and how they affect others, perhaps, and I think he's taking responsibility for a lot of his own behaviours," Eales says.

Regarding the sexual abuse, Eales stresses that Daly understands it was not his fault.

"This was abuse from someone on him, not because of him and I think that is an important realisation that he has got to," Eales says.

But that realisation has taken a long time.

"It's been a long, four or five years of rehabilitation. I had to go through a pile of shit to come out squeaky clean at the end, if that makes sense.

"My behaviour — particularly in the stuff with the alcohol and other things — it's copybook of behaviour of an abused person, whether it's sexually abused, or abuse comes in different ways. But the results are the same. Because it plays on you mentally — PTSD and depression and anxiety and stuff like that," Daly says.

A great deal of that understanding has come from Daly's involvement in the Survival and Mates Support Network (SAMSN).

"Disclosing can be an incredibly painful experience for people, but it can also be incredibly freeing to speak your truth. To be heard to be believed, and hopefully understood, is huge for people," the group's CEO Craig Hughes-Cashmore says.

"Carrying that kind of secret is exhausting."

A football player, surrounded by other men, runs to chase the player with the ball.
The Survival and Mates Support Network helped Daly to understand his abuse and move forward.(Supplied: Tony Daly)
And yet so many do, sometimes for their entire lives.

On average it takes women 20.6 years to reveal childhood sexual abuse. For men, it's 25.6 years.

Around 33 to 40 per cent of child sexual assault victims who report their abuse are male.

But the royal commission found ideas around masculinity and homosexuality could discourage men from reporting their sexual assaults.

"If men have a same-sex perpetrator, questions about their own sexuality and what that means is often confusing for them," says Hughes-Cashmore.

Daly says SAMSN has helped him understand his abuse.

"You know, you're not the only one that's been through it, and that gives you comfort," Daly says.

But what Tony Daly wants more than anything is for St Joseph's to acknowledge he was sexually assaulted.

"I want them to see what's happened and how it's affected my life," he says.

"The rollercoaster ride. How I've failed personally and in business."

A man walks towards the camera.
Daly wants St Joseph's to acknowledge he was sexually assaulted and the effect it's had on his life.(ABC News: Brendan Esposito)
Daly knows he's not the only one who's been abused by Catholic brothers at the St Joseph's College.

"I've had so many people approach me from Joey's saying it happened to me too, and three of them were by the bloke that got me."

A former St Joseph's dorm master, John Maguire, was sentenced in 2015 for sexually assaulting an 11-year-old student in 1983.

In the court were a number of former St Joseph's students who had gone to the police complaining of sexual abuse by Maguire, but whose cases couldn't be proven.

Maguire was not the man who Daly says sexually abused him.

Other former St Joseph's boys have begun legal actions against the school over sexual abuse, and settled out of court.

Now, Tony Daly has begun his own legal action. He's seeking damages from the school's owner, Marist Brothers.

"I can acknowledge it and I accept the ramifications," he says.

"But I won't accept that I was a 10, 11 year-old boy and I was walking into an ambush. It shouldn't have happened."

Three young men in green Australian rugby blazers stand with their hands in front of them looking at the camera.
Tony Daly (right) with his under-21 front row partners Andrew Blades and Robert Kennedy.(Supplied: Tony Daly)
His lawyer Adair Donaldson says Daly has no interest in "engaging with the perpetrator."

"For him, the school has the ultimate culpability. Schools owe the highest duty of care to children whose parents entrust their welfare to them. Tony hopes by holding the school accountable it forces it to be ever vigilant in keeping its students safe," Mr Donaldson says.

In a statement, the Marist Brothers Province of Australia said it wouldn't comment on Daly's specific case.

The statement went on: "The Marist Brothers, openly acknowledge that children have been failed by those charged with their care and protection."

"Our apology for this and the harm caused as a result, is unreserved, enduring and a matter of public record."

Moving forward

Part of Daly's recovery involves speaking out publicly for the first time in 43 years about his experiences.

"I think there's a time and a place for everything," he says.

"I had to get better. I had to go to SAMSN. I had to get on medication. I had to get involved in things that were normal."

A man stands in front of a federation home and looks at the camera.
Daly is now working as a safety consultant, building up his self-confidence and keeping in close contact with friends.(ABC News: Brendan Esposito)
"And you know, I just want to get out there and tell the Joeys kids, and other kids for that matter, that you need to identify and announce it.

"You'll spiral, it's inevitable, you won't stop, you can't, you need help. And it's the fear of not being too frightened to ask for help, no matter who you are, whatever you've achieved. That's the key."

SAMSN's Hughes-Cashmore describes Daly's public statements as "awesome."

"Tony is so brave to do this. And if his voice cuts through because of his profile then that's a really good thing."

Daly says life is going well despite some "bumps and bruises" along the way.

He's working regularly as a safety consultant with a large building contractor and slowly building up his self-confidence, while keeping in close contact with his group of friends.

And what does Tony Daly want now?

"I just want everything to be resolved. And you know, I just want Joey's to acknowledge what's happened, and whatever benefit I may have from that so be it," he says.

"I just want to be balanced.

"I've lost a lot, mate.

"You know, is that supposed to be hunky dory in the Joeys' family? Oh, don't worry, she'll be right mate. Deal with it. Get over it. Have another beer. Score another try.

"Times have changed."
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-03-07/ ... n/13206412

fudge me.
Last edited by Farva on Sun Mar 07, 2021 5:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Thomas
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Re: Tony Daly and Sexual Assault

Post by Thomas »

Jesus.
BBB
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Re: Tony Daly and Sexual Assault

Post by BBB »

F#*k that’s grim.

Glad hes managed to at least stay alive.

Hope he gets some sort of justice.

And some peace.
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Ali's Choice
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Re: Tony Daly and Sexual Assault

Post by Ali's Choice »

Australia's big traditional boarding schools were teaming with paedophiles. Very sad.
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mr bungle
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Re: Tony Daly and Sexual Assault

Post by mr bungle »

Jesus, what turmoil he has been through.

Can you amend the thread title to better reflect that Tony wasn’t the assaulter?
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koroke hangareka
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Re: Tony Daly and Sexual Assault

Post by koroke hangareka »

mr bungle wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 2:13 am Jesus, what turmoil he has been through.

Can you amend the thread title to better reflect that Tony wasn’t the assaulter?
Second this. It gives a completely misleading impression.
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Farva
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Farva »

Done.
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Kiwias
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Kiwias »

In tears as I read that. Poor bloke must have been so desperately lonely.
towny
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by towny »

You know what, I’ll go on the record as saying that this story has a smell about it.

I’m not buying it, and I’m not someone that often doesn’t immediately empathise with the victim.
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Olo
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Olo »

Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
towny
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by towny »

Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
Varsity Way
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Varsity Way »

Terribly sad read. It rang true with me. I survived unscathed at Caldicott School in the 1980's. Years later the abuse was exposed and justice prevailed.

This is what it does. If you get the time:

https://youtu.be/WoOzqebOU1k
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Farva
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Farva »

Varsity Way wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:41 am Terribly sad read. It rang true with me. I survived unscathed at Caldicott School in the 1980's. Years later the abuse was exposed and justice prevailed.

This is what it does. If you get the time:

https://youtu.be/WoOzqebOU1k
I discovered many years later that one of the boys I did scouts with was abused by one of the leaders over a period of a year. No idea what that kid is up to now but I am sure he has repressed memories.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by MungoMan »

towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
You've presented your opinion, for what it's worth; which is three fifths of fúckall. How about you zip it from here on in?
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Farva
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Farva »

towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3817819/
We find that child maltreatment roughly doubles the probability that an individual engages in many types of crime.
Happy to reconsider?
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by BlackMac »

towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
C'mon man you are better than that. It doesn't lead directly to thievery, It leads to emotional and mental breakdown which can manifest itself in many different ways.

Also many, many victims of abuse don't want to see their abusers face justice for a variety of different reasons.
Last edited by BlackMac on Sun Mar 07, 2021 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Ellafan »

MungoMan wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 10:51 am
towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
You've presented your opinion, for what it's worth; which is three fifths of fúckall. How about you zip it from here on in?
Might be best to go quietly here Mungo.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by MungoMan »

Ellafan wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 11:44 am
MungoMan wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 10:51 am
towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
You've presented your opinion, for what it's worth; which is three fifths of fúckall. How about you zip it from here on in?
Might be best to go quietly here Mungo.
I was not, until now, intending to say any more on the matter.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by towny »

MungoMan wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 10:51 am
towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
You've presented your opinion, for what it's worth; which is three fifths of fúckall. How about you zip it from here on in?
How about you eat my arse with a spoon? A convicted criminal makes an unsubstantiated, non-corroborated claim to explain his criminality AND demand compensation payment and someone isn’t allowed to not have doubts about the story?

It sounds like you blokes don’t hold anyone to account if they went through bad stuff as a kid. If you have a tale of woe, regardless of whether it’s true, the boys at PR are ready to forgive all sins and shout down those who don’t jump on the sympathy circle jerk.

Tony Daley is a thieving piece of shit who’s told a sad story. I need more than his words, because his words don’t hold much water.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Varsity Way »

towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 1:29 pm
MungoMan wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 10:51 am
towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
You've presented your opinion, for what it's worth; which is three fifths of fúckall. How about you zip it from here on in?
How about you eat my arse with a spoon? A convicted criminal makes an unsubstantiated, non-corroborated claim to explain his criminality AND demand compensation payment and someone isn’t allowed to not have doubts about the story?

It sounds like you blokes don’t hold anyone to account if they went through bad stuff as a kid. If you have a tale of woe, regardless of whether it’s true, the boys at PR are ready to forgive all sins and shout down those who don’t jump on the sympathy circle jerk.

Tony Daley is a thieving piece of shit who’s told a sad story. I need more than his words, because his words don’t hold much water.
That's it...you go "all in" champ. :uhoh: :yawn:
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by towny »

I need more than an unverified sob story to cry for this guy.

He’s the type of bloke that goes through people’s overhead baggage and takes purses on international flights. This is the kind of guy that defrauds his spouse’s business. This is the kind of bloke that would continually lie to escape judgment.

I’m not sure what someone has to do before you guys stop unquestionably accepting everything they say.

What if he’s lying again? Is there a reason to lie? Yes! An obvious reason. Does he have proof? None! Who did it to him? He won’t say! Does he want justice? No! What does he want? Money!

If Daly names his accuser or brings forth some evidence I’ll gladly retract my aired suspicions, grab a pitchfork and join you boys in the pedo-lynch.

Until then, I’ll continue to be the humorous, contrarian dissenter to balance out your wasted tears. I know way worse sob stories than this too - if you guys want to help poor sods in worse predicaments than Daley, send me your emails and I’ll forward you some stuff I got from several Nigerian princes. What tales of woe they have. Plus, they’re willing to make you rich!

https://www.news.com.au/national/ex-wal ... 050fe8e38a

O
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Working Class Rugger »

towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
So Joey's is a Marist school. As a fellow Marist alum I feel I can pass comment on this a little. There's a chance the offender at the time is no longer alive. I mean back when I passed through their system there were very few Brother's still active in the day to day teaching/ops. So it may not be about not wanting to see justice more that outside of civil proceedings against the order individual justice just might not be possible.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by towny »

Working Class Rugger wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 6:46 pm
towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
So Joey's is a Marist school. As a fellow Marist alum I feel I can pass comment on this a little. There's a chance the offender at the time is no longer alive. I mean back when I passed through their system there were very few Brother's still active in the day to day teaching/ops. So it may not be about not wanting to see justice more that outside of civil proceedings against the order individual justice just might not be possible.
So he doesn’t want to stain the reputation of the dead peso? I guess that could be it. He may very well be genuine. My point is that all we have to go on is the word of a proven liar and thief, who apparently never breathed a word of the alleged abuse until he admittedly desperately threw it up as mitigation to avoid prison.

Maybe I should ignore my doubts and just believe him. On the same note, maybe I should have more empathy for Charles Manson - where is the thread devoted to his injustice? Maybe Leopold II was beaten as a child - should we all gather at the river and pine for his unfortunate life?

Maybe I just don’t like thieving cnuts.

Anyway, you’ve all heard my opinion enough. I’ll take off and let you guys get this thread on the track you’d prefer.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Sandstorm »

Has Mog hacked Towny’s login today?
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Working Class Rugger »

towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 7:17 pm
Working Class Rugger wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 6:46 pm
towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
So Joey's is a Marist school. As a fellow Marist alum I feel I can pass comment on this a little. There's a chance the offender at the time is no longer alive. I mean back when I passed through their system there were very few Brother's still active in the day to day teaching/ops. So it may not be about not wanting to see justice more that outside of civil proceedings against the order individual justice just might not be possible.
So he doesn’t want to stain the reputation of the dead peso? I guess that could be it. He may very well be genuine. My point is that all we have to go on is the word of a proven liar and thief, who apparently never breathed a word of the alleged abuse until he admittedly desperately threw it up as mitigation to avoid prison.

Maybe I should ignore my doubts and just believe him. On the same note, maybe I should have more empathy for Charles Manson - where is the thread devoted to his injustice? Maybe Leopold II was beaten as a child - should we all gather at the river and pine for his unfortunate life?

Maybe I just don’t like thieving cnuts.

Anyway, you’ve all heard my opinion enough. I’ll take off and let you guys get this thread on the track you’d prefer.
It would be pretty f**king low of the bloke to be fabricating this in order to get out of other troubles he finds himself in. And if so, then hopefully he gets caught but and dealt with.

However, during the 80-90s there were a couple of known offenders circulating through a number of Marist schools. So this story isn't beyond impossible. Add to that individuals who have suffered from such childhood trauma tend to act out later in life due to said trauma.

I'd like more information to be honest. I don't want to dismiss the accusations of hand as I think such incidents are a genuine blight on society.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Slim 293 »

I have a few in-laws who were sent to Joeys, and at least one or two of them would've been there around the same time as Daly... and I certainly don't doubt his claims.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Thomas »

There are a few accounts from fellow students who went to school with Daly who paint the picture a little differently to what he's saying. Not saying he isn't a victim though.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Sandstorm »

Thomas wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 11:44 pm There are a few accounts from fellow students who went to school with Daly who paint the picture a little differently to what he's saying. Not saying he isn't a victim though.
It’s pretty rare for fellow pupils to know at the time when a classmate is being abused. It’s only later it comes out and then the memory is pretty fuzzy.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Farva »

Jon eels believes him based on personal interaction. He seems to have changed a position of not wanting anything to do with him, to a position of support.
In the article, Daly describes the response of physiologists who support that something happened.
And PR has bought up personal experiences of others at Joeys at the time which matched with plenty of other stories out there.
Maybe Towny is right and he is bullshitting. But the circumstantial evidence suggests otherwise.
But my thoughts are that initial reactions should always be to support people who make these claims as it takes an immense amount of courage to come out and say something. We need to encourage that.
We can then investigate.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by kiap »

Farva wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2021 12:10 am Jon eels believes him based on personal interaction. He seems to have changed a position of not wanting anything to do with him, to a position of support.
F U Jon eels.

I read it the other way round. For a long time Daly was pushing away from support.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Bindi »

Sandstorm wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2021 12:10 am
Thomas wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 11:44 pm There are a few accounts from fellow students who went to school with Daly who paint the picture a little differently to what he's saying. Not saying he isn't a victim though.
It’s pretty rare for fellow pupils to know at the time when a classmate is being abused. It’s only later it comes out and then the memory is pretty fuzzy.
There was a very well known peado case at my old school, where the student councillor destroyed the lives of over a hundred kids. Coverups and all that kind of shit.

All the details are here:
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-02-15/ ... se/8273646

The bloke was a creepy weird gimp, but I never even heard rumours as to the depravity of what was going on. Due to the shame, there was a culture of absolute silence. That's how this flourishes and how paedos get away with it. I'd assume the same at Daly's school. Without knowing many more details than what's in the OP, I wouldn't think to not believe the putative victim in the first instance. Whether it negates or mitigates later behaviour is another question that I really don't know the answer to.
Last edited by Bindi on Mon Mar 08, 2021 2:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Ellafan »

MungoMan wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 11:59 am
Ellafan wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 11:44 am
MungoMan wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 10:51 am
towny wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:11 am
Olo wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:07 am Jesus. What a legend he was in that 91 side. Beast.
I dont know why you would doubt it Towny? So many of those kids at Joeys and other Catholic schools were abused through that period and earlier.
So Sad. At least the pedo priest was charged and punished. It’s nowhere near enough but at least its something.
I’ve never heard how sexual assaults leads to thievery. And the pedo hasn’t been charged - Daly said it was another guy that molested him but won’t say who. Why can’t he name the abuser? He’s not interested in holding that man to justice?
You've presented your opinion, for what it's worth; which is three fifths of fúckall. How about you zip it from here on in?
Might be best to go quietly here Mungo.
I was not, until now, intending to say any more on the matter.
A sage approach, given the whispering in the cloisters.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Ellafan »

Thomas wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 11:44 pm There are a few accounts from fellow students who went to school with Daly who paint the picture a little differently to what he's saying. Not saying he isn't a victim though.
Do they say he was quite popular and was not bullied?
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Thomas »

Ellafan wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2021 12:49 am
Thomas wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 11:44 pm There are a few accounts from fellow students who went to school with Daly who paint the picture a little differently to what he's saying. Not saying he isn't a victim though.
Do they say he was quite popular and was not bullied?
I'm not going to go into it because it's all hearsay, really. Just saying some fellow students have said different things. It's all very murky. I just hope he gets the support he needs.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by kiap »

Thomas wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2021 1:32 am
Ellafan wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2021 12:49 am
Thomas wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 11:44 pm There are a few accounts from fellow students who went to school with Daly who paint the picture a little differently to what he's saying. Not saying he isn't a victim though.
Do they say he was quite popular and was not bullied?
I'm not going to go into it because it's all hearsay, really. Just saying some fellow students have said different things. It's all very murky. I just hope he gets the support he needs.
In other words, you got all 'flirty' with the gossip then pulled up the veil.

So why post it in the first place?
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by wamberal »

I cannot imagine that anybody would fabricate these sorts of experiences.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by UncleFB »

You can still be pissed off with someone for their crimes while having sympathy for what they went through.

I actually find it quite sad that I’m way more inclined to believe him than not because this shit keeps popping up so regularly.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by Pat the Ex Mat »

UncleFB wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2021 2:52 am You can still be pissed off with someone for their crimes while having sympathy for what they went through.

I actually find it quite sad that I’m way more inclined to believe him than not because this shit keeps popping up so regularly.
Catholic boarding school innit x(
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by grievous »

Towny covering himself in his glory with a box of tissues as usual.
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Re: Tony Daly Victim of Sexual Assault

Post by backrow »

Won’t lie, although I expected this to be about the Olympic diver, I am unsurprised at the institution involved in the allegation.
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