Planet Rugby Forum

Taranaki Snapper wrote:Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about rising suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming more and more interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...

Good on you mate. Really admire what you're doing.

I've been incredibly lucky in my life in that I have not known anyone who has taken their own life in my circle of family and friends. Such a sad and tragic thing to happen. I applaud you for the work you are doing and hope the reward you gain from that helps in some way to compensate for your loss.

I'm also lucky that I have a really close family and we will be getting together over Xmas for lots of fun, games and laughter. A time I always look forward to and cherish. Wishing you and your family a good Xmas despite your recent loss.

booji boy wrote:

Taranaki Snapper wrote:Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about rising suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming more and more interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...

Good on you mate. Really admire what you're doing.

I've been incredibly lucky in my life in that I have not known anyone who has taken their own life in my circle of family and friends. Such a sad and tragic thing to happen. I applaud you for the work you are doing and hope the reward you gain from that helps in some way to compensate for your loss.

I'm also lucky that I have a really close family and we will be getting together over Xmas for lots of fun, games and laughter. A time I always look forward to and cherish. Wishing you and your family a good Xmas despite your recent loss.

Cheers Booj, I appreciate the kind and thoughtful words, all the best to you and yours...

Xmas is a tough one - Got my Mum over from England. She had an awful experience one year so keeping her chin up is #1 priority.

Keep alert chaps!

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:Xmas is a tough one - Got my Mum over from England. She had an awful experience one year so keeping her chin up is #1 priority.

Keep alert chaps!

A guy I knew from the retail trade committed suicide yesterday. Saw him 2 days before that. Gutted

Shitty news at this time of the year for you both, c69 and Big Nipper.

c69, it would help if you could let it out to your wife.

I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.

GWO2 wrote:I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.

Heart breaking for you. Have you any sort of support person or group?

c69 wrote:I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.

Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

Very sorry to hear these stories...my advice is to find someone you can talk to and talk and talk and talk some more...Freud may be out of fashion but the talking cure still helps, imo...

Kiwias wrote:

c69 wrote:I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.

Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

All of us males can be a bit shite at talking.

If you can't find anyone, just write on here.

We'll respond.

I'm feeling better now but have struggled over the last 3 weeks - turns out I fall into the <1% of people who get Anxiety and fatigue from Telfast allergy meds.

Not what I needed starting a new job just before Xmas

Gone cold turkey over the last week and hopefully it's passed.

First Christmas without the kids. Very rough. I don't know how people do this every year

GWO2 wrote:I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.

I am sorry to hear this. If you have people you are close to then talk to them if you can. It probably helps to share.

My mother was this year diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She's still there but she's unable to perform some simple tasks and her dependency is only increasing. Her first grandchild was born this year. It kills me that she will never know her grandmother as she was. Old age is an absolute prick for what it does to people.

Both my parents are f**ked. Both have dimentia. My mother has really bad short term memory loss but is otherwise surprisingly functional.

My dad had to be moved to full time care last month. He had Louise Bodies dimentia, which doesn't react well with anti depressants, which result is severe hallucinations. Off the meds he is very sensitive to sounds and can't distinguish general noise and focus on voices. He's also adicticted to over the counter pain pills and gets migraines. This all leads to him getting very wound up, confrontational, abusive and violent.

I'm half way across the planet.

Until recently they were both very stubborn about getting help and any attempt to get them support was met with abusive retorts and pig headed unwillingness to accept they're f**ked and need help.

It's very likely I will end up going the same way in about 20-25 years time. I will not put my wife and kids through this shit.

Along with the quitting alcohol thread, this is PR at its best

Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...

c69 wrote:

happyhooker wrote:

Kiwias wrote:

c69 wrote:I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.

Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

Yeah chatted to her last night after I had got my head in the right place.
She still has no idea how flecked up I am over this but it helped.
Just to vent on here was helpful. Thanks

... thanks for sharing as it helps so many more who are not speaking up. This is likely the mere tip of the issues being experienced by posters across PR ...

TB63 wrote:Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...

It's a symptom of depression.

Have it myself from time to time.

c69 wrote:

happyhooker wrote:

Kiwias wrote:

c69 wrote:I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.

Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

Yeah chatted to her last night after I had got my head in the right place.
She still has no idea how flecked up I am over this but it helped.
Just to vent on here was helpful. Thanks

c69

Good on you.

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:

TB63 wrote:Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...

It's a symptom of depression.

Have it myself from time to time.

I can play a track and I'm ok, I can hear that same track played by my kids and I'm in floods. .
Soopy films I used to be immune to now sends me off on one..

Yep = that's exactly it.

Are you feeling particularly stressed at present? feel free to message if you want.

CBT is a patronising joke, and my job is now at risk.

I'm less worried about feelings emotions than I am about the numbness.

Salanya wrote:CBT is a patronising joke, and my job is now at risk.

I'm less worried about feelings emotions than I am about the numbness.

CBT is excellent for some conditions and people. It doesn't work for everyone.

Salanya wrote:CBT is a patronising joke, and my job is now at risk.

I'm less worried about feelings emotions than I am about the numbness.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well. You're out in the middle of nowhere in England somewhere right? Anyone local you can lean on? Friends etc?

And what do you mean your job is at risk?

Insane_Homer wrote:Both my parents are f**ked. Both have dimentia. My mother has really bad short term memory loss but is otherwise surprisingly functional.

My dad had to be moved to full time care last month. He had Louise Bodies dimentia, which doesn't react well with anti depressants, which result is severe hallucinations. Off the meds he is very sensitive to sounds and can't distinguish general noise and focus on voices. He's also adicticted to over the counter pain pills and gets migraines. This all leads to him getting very wound up, confrontational, abusive and violent.

I'm half way across the planet.

Until recently they were both very stubborn about getting help and any attempt to get them support was met with abusive retorts and pig headed unwillingness to accept they're f**ked and need help.

It's very likely I will end up going the same way in about 20-25 years time. I will not put my wife and kids through this shit.

I hear you IH, I've just returned from an emergency trip to Zim, the old man was diagnosed with bowel cancer and had an operation to remove it. My Mum has really bad Alzheimer's, so the wife and I went over to look after them for a month, one of my worst months ever.
My Mum is very physically fit (for 78) but has terrible short term memory and is very easily confused, Dad is not bad, still has memory loss but more in an old age type of way, but is very stubborn when it comes to realizing that he needs help and can't and won't be able to cope with my mother for much longer.
Alzheimer's is a bastard, yes I will most likely get it and sadly my wifes family is also predisposed, things could get very interesting

Diego wrote:

Salanya wrote:CBT is a patronising joke, and my job is now at risk.

I'm less worried about feelings emotions than I am about the numbness.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well. You're out in the middle of nowhere in England somewhere right? Anyone local you can lean on? Friends etc?

And what do you mean your job is at risk?

I am in the middle of nowhere, which is fine, but as I have to go to a training course tomorrow, the dog had to go to the kennel for a few nights. Had a chat with one of the two friends who is aware; I don't actually want to see any further people - I guess I prefer to converse with faceless weirdos on a rugby forum...

The job overworked me, but the boss is using that as an excuse for me not meeting objectives. Had occupational health involved, but their suggestions haven't been implemented by the boss.

Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?

redderneck wrote:Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?

It could be done, but at a lower position. And all locations are very different, and I am attached to my location.

I'll need to get the union involved now to support my corner, without things getting too messy.

Your boss sounds like a dick

Diego wrote:Your boss sounds like a dick

Thanks for the support.

How are things with you?

Salanya wrote:

redderneck wrote:Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?

It could be done, but at a lower position. And all locations are very different, and I am attached to my location.

I'll need to get the union involved now to support my corner, without things getting too messy.

Good luck with the dick/boss. Sounds like he needs therapy not you.

Hope it works ok.

Salanya wrote:

Diego wrote:Your boss sounds like a dick

Thanks for the support.

How are things with you?

Ok. Well, I'm unemployed and homeless but hopefully not for much longer than another few weeks. Happy in myself and where I'm going anyway.

Salanya wrote:

redderneck wrote:Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?

It could be done, but at a lower position. And all locations are very different, and I am attached to my location.

I'll need to get the union involved now to support my corner, without things getting too messy.

All the best with it. Unions may take a pounding in here frequently, but times/situations like you have on your hands, they can be a major plus.

Diego wrote:

Salanya wrote:

Diego wrote:Your boss sounds like a dick

Thanks for the support.

How are things with you?

Ok. Well, I'm unemployed and homeless but hopefully not for much longer than another few weeks. Happy in myself and where I'm going anyway.

I thought you were still doing your PhD in NL?!

Salanya wrote:

Diego wrote:

Salanya wrote:

Diego wrote:Your boss sounds like a dick

Thanks for the support.

How are things with you?

Ok. Well, I'm unemployed and homeless but hopefully not for much longer than another few weeks. Happy in myself and where I'm going anyway.

I thought you were still doing your PhD in NL?!

I was only doing a Masters and some research work afterwards. Back in Ireland at the moment.

redderneck wrote:

Salanya wrote:

redderneck wrote:Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?

It could be done, but at a lower position. And all locations are very different, and I am attached to my location.

I'll need to get the union involved now to support my corner, without things getting too messy.

All the best with it. Unions may take a pounding in here frequently, but times/situations like you have on your hands, they can be a major plus.

Thanks Redders

Diego: stick to academics, the grown up world sucks

Good to hear you're well in yourself. One day we will have some pints to celebrate Wesleyan triumphs!

Salanya wrote:Diego: stick to academics, the grown up world sucks

Good to hear you're well in yourself. One day we will have some pints to celebrate Wesleyan triumphs!

That is the plan

I'm with you Salanya with regards to CBT, it's a crock.

Anxiety is getting much better/manageable after going crazy of turkey over Xmas.

Still flat but to be expected with a new job and other stresses

Inspected the shower/locker/bike storage setup at the new gig and it's excellent.

Starting to ride to work 2 days a week from Next week