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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:13 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

How can you be sad after the way JvdF has started the season?!

Best of luck Sal, keep the chin up. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:16 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

How can you be sad after the way JvdF has started the season?!

Best of luck Sal, keep the chin up. :thumbup:


I'm going to a concert tomorrow afternoon, so I won't even be able to watch him. :(

And I still don't have his phone number, which I'm sure is hurting him as much as it is hurting me.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:26 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

All the best with this. Atleast you've taken steps to deal with it.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:43 pm 
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CrazyIslander wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

All the best with this. Atleast you've taken steps to deal with it.


Thanks mate!

Though I haven't much of a choice, as it's been getting me in problems at work.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:46 pm 
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Hope you get something soon salayna. Counselling is so valuable.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:50 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
CrazyIslander wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Heymans: make sure to reach out to whoever you have.

For the first time in well over 10 years I've taken myself to the GP. She gave me a few numbers to call to set up counselling, and wants to see me again in a month.
The sad thing is that it took me to tell her that I was feeling suicidal. Up till then I was too articulate in explaining my condition, and if I hadn't pushed I probably would have walked out without much consideration. Worrying.

All the best with this. Atleast you've taken steps to deal with it.


Thanks mate!

Though I haven't much of a choice, as it's been getting me in problems at work.

You have bunch of posters here who are behind you, in the nicest way.

Grit teeth a bit. Deep breath. The world is not perfect. You must just have the stamina to stay the course and when you do, it will be worthwhile.

Love from Oundle.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 8:01 pm 
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Thanks everyone. Am back to normal (well you know what its like).

Just was very very tired and snapped a bit. Vacation starts now,no kids tonight (they're at my gran), off to Venice tomorrow.

I do see a shrink and its great.

Plans are on track Bimbo, well one at least.

Thanks again for the concern everyone and hang in there Salanya, there's always stuff to look up to.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 8:04 pm 
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Heymans wrote:
Thanks everyone. Am back to normal (well you know what its like).

Just was very very tired and snapped a bit. Vacation starts now,no kids tonight (they're at my gran), off to Venice tomorrow.

I do see a shrink and its great.

Plans are on track Bimbo, well one at least.

Thanks again for the concern everyone and hang in there Salanya, there's always stuff to look up to.



Good man, enjoy Venice, eat off the street and drink the local wines. Hope you get laid tonight too.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 8:15 pm 
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bimboman wrote:
Heymans wrote:
Thanks everyone. Am back to normal (well you know what its like).

Just was very very tired and snapped a bit. Vacation starts now,no kids tonight (they're at my gran), off to Venice tomorrow.

I do see a shrink and its great.

Plans are on track Bimbo, well one at least.

Thanks again for the concern everyone and hang in there Salanya, there's always stuff to look up to.



Good man, enjoy Venice, eat off the street and drink the local wines. Hope you get laid tonight too.


:lol: :lol:

Thanks :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:30 am 
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Just thought I would pop in and thank everyone for their messages of encouragement that you all gave me a few months back. I have done a course of antidepressants and councelling and feel a million times better. I put my partner through a lot of shit with my behaviour and mood swings and neediness but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I asked her to marry me on Friday night and she said yes. Life is finally turning in a positive direction now that I have learned to stop holding onto things and stop letting my past define my actions and who I am now. Hope everyone is having a good day


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:41 am 
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Some inspiring stuff in the last page, you, Heymans walking back from the edge, Salanya hanging in there and now Dragon Khan blowing us all away and showing that depression need not define your lives.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:49 am 
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DragonKhan wrote:
Just thought I would pop in and thank everyone for their messages of encouragement that you all gave me a few months back. I have done a course of antidepressants and councelling and feel a million times better. I put my partner through a lot of shit with my behaviour and mood swings and neediness but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I asked her to marry me on Friday night and she said yes. Life is finally turning in a positive direction now that I have learned to stop holding onto things and stop letting my past define my actions and who I am now. Hope everyone is having a good day


That's great news DragonKhan, congratulations! If she can put up with you at your 'worst', then I'm sure you've got a great future together :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:24 am 
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Kiwias wrote:
Some inspiring stuff in the last page, you, Heymans walking back from the edge, Salanya hanging in there and now Dragon Khan blowing us all away and showing that depression need not define your lives.


Yup, I let other shit define me too long. It was actually my girlfriend who pointed it out a few weeks ago and it sounds weird but it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It is something so obvious but I had never thought about it before.

And yeah Assfly I am sure we do. She's given me so much, now it's time for me to give back and make her happy again


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 11:27 am 
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DragonKhan wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
Some inspiring stuff in the last page, you, Heymans walking back from the edge, Salanya hanging in there and now Dragon Khan blowing us all away and showing that depression need not define your lives.


Yup, I let other shit define me too long. It was actually my girlfriend who pointed it out a few weeks ago and it sounds weird but it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It is something so obvious but I had never thought about it before.

And yeah Assfly I am sure we do. She's given me so much, now it's time for me to give back and make her happy again


wa-hey !

great news fella after your events :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 11:47 am 
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backrow wrote:
DragonKhan wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
Some inspiring stuff in the last page, you, Heymans walking back from the edge, Salanya hanging in there and now Dragon Khan blowing us all away and showing that depression need not define your lives.


Yup, I let other shit define me too long. It was actually my girlfriend who pointed it out a few weeks ago and it sounds weird but it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It is something so obvious but I had never thought about it before.

And yeah Assfly I am sure we do. She's given me so much, now it's time for me to give back and make her happy again


wa-hey !

great news fella after your events :thumbup:

:lol: ffs

Cheers. It's been a really shit last 7-8 months but finally feeling like myself again and not getting bogged down in stupid things and keeping myself busy.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 11:58 am 
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hahah no probs

oh, and you have to stop referring to her as 'the girlfriend' - its Fiancee now :thumbup:

this should cheer you up - you will get more riding done from now until she gets up the duff, than you can imagine. just be careful not to wear out your Bell / tear Banjo string. life is a lot rosier when your nuts are as Empty as a Scottish Trophy Cabinet.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:05 pm 
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Heymans wrote:
Thanks everyone. Am back to normal (well you know what its like).

Just was very very tired and snapped a bit. Vacation starts now,no kids tonight (they're at my gran), off to Venice tomorrow.

I do see a shrink and its great.

Plans are on track Bimbo, well one at least.

Thanks again for the concern everyone and hang in there Salanya, there's always stuff to look up to.


Good man. I'll be hoping to see you for beers at Stade de France in February again.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:33 am 
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Rough week for my mates.

Caught up with one yesterday who is splitting up from his wife and now talking to my mate in the US who attempted Suicide recently, has had his meds changed and is still feeling like it.

It's an insidious disease.

:((


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:49 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Rough week for my mates.

Caught up with one yesterday who is splitting up from his wife and now talking to my mate in the US who attempted Suicide recently, has had his meds changed and is still feeling like it.

It's an insidious disease.

:((


Rough week for you too, mate. Be strong.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:50 am 
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If any thing, it helps me to help them.

:nod:


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 3:55 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
If any thing, it helps me to help them.

:nod:


I can understand that. Good on you.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 4:45 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
If any thing, it helps me to help them.

:nod:

:thumbup:


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 11:42 am 
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I have mentioned a lass in the US (daughter of a former work colleague) who I am sort of sponsoring in her journey to break free of alcoholism and pills. As noted, she suffered horrific sexual abuse as a very young child and for over a decade.

She is seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, is diagnosed as bipolar and has been religiously taking her meds for over three years now. All good so far except for suicidal wishes when she is on a down swing.

Well, she attempted suicide a couple of weeks ago swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills. She managed to text her therapist before passing out and has just come home after a spell in the crisis centre then a treatment facility. They want her to attend treatment sessions for a spell out of concern that she will try again.

I spoke to her today and she is refusing to attend the sessions, because, in her words, “so it happened, I survived, and now I feel fine, so I don’t need any more treatment”.

She is continuing to take her meds but her response disturbs me, probably because it seems she is almost dismissing her attempted suicide as not being important. Her therapist said she seems completely detached from the reality of what she did.

My question here to any who have attempted suicide, and I understand if it is too delicate to answer, is 1) whether this reaction is common and 2) how you would recommend I respond.

As I said, I don’t mind if there are no comments.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 12:04 pm 
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Kiwias wrote:
I have mentioned a lass in the US (daughter of a former work colleague) who I am sort of sponsoring in her journey to break free of alcoholism and pills. As noted, she suffered horrific sexual abuse as a very young child and for over a decade.

She is seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, is diagnosed as bipolar and has been religiously taking her meds for over three years now. All good so far except for suicidal wishes when she is on a down swing.

Well, she attempted suicide a couple of weeks ago swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills. She managed to text her therapist before passing out and has just come home after a spell in the crisis centre then a treatment facility. They want her to attend treatment sessions for a spell out of concern that she will try again.

I spoke to her today and she is refusing to attend the sessions, because, in her words, “so it happened, I survived, and now I feel fine, so I don’t need any more treatment”.

She is continuing to take her meds but her response disturbs me, probably because it seems she is almost dismissing her attempted suicide as not being important. Her therapist said she seems completely detached from the reality of what she did.

My question here to any who have attempted suicide, and I understand if it is too delicate to answer, is 1) whether this reaction is common and 2) how you would recommend I respond.

As I said, I don’t mind if there are no comments.


An aunt of mine (mother's side) attempted to take her own life using a very similar method in my early teens. From memory her response was very similar and it took my grandmother having to figuratively shake sense into her in order for her to seek help. I'm not suggesting you do that. Just highlighting that it's not that uncommon from my experience.

Sadly, she's now taken to trying to drink herself to death.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 12:08 pm 
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Working Class Rugger wrote:
An aunt of mine (mother's side) attempted to take her own life using a very similar method in my early teens. From memory her response was very similar and it took my grandmother having to figuratively shake sense into her in order for her to seek help. I'm not suggesting you do that. Just highlighting that it's not that uncommon from my experience.

Sadly, she's now taken to trying to drink herself to death.


Thanks very much. At least she is still seeing her therapist and psychiatrist and taking her meds.

I guess I will let them knock sense into her. The good news for me is that she is still clear of alcohol and pills — at least until her attempted overdose. She has disposed of all old and unnecessary pills, one good sign.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:33 pm 
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Less than a week after I launched an awareness and support fundraiser for the Black Dog Institute, I received news that yet another friend has passed away, most likely by his own hand. That's 4 in 13 months... my mate played Club Rugby for Wellington, Uni/Rep Rugby for Otago and Club Rugby all around the World, including Garryowen in Ireland. He was Head Coach for Adelaide University when we met and was State Coach for the South Australian Black Falcons. He was on the Board of Variety SA and a Consultant for the City of Adelaide and State Government. He was my Rugby mentor in Adelaide, instrumental in getting me involved with AURUFC and a good friend, always there to watch a match or put me up when I was only visiting Adelaide. He had a huge and positive influence on everyone who knew him well or moved in the same circles. He struggled with cancer, alcoholism and homelessness in recent years. I tried to reach out and help as much as I could but he slipped away from us. He will be sadly missed...In this time of feast and famine, I ask you all to do what you can: Reach out to friends and family who have become isolated or estranged. Be good to yourself and those around you. Volunteer for a local community club or charity. Join your Union or a progressive political party. Get out in nature, read a good book, create and nurture something beautiful whether it's a relationship, thing or experience. Life is fleeting, make the most of it...


Last edited by Taranaki Snapper on Fri Dec 21, 2018 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:39 pm 
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Sorry to hear that. Otherwise a good post with sound advice.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 4:53 am 
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Taranaki Snapper wrote:
Less than a week after I launched an awareness and support fundraiser for the Black Dog Institute, I received news that yet another friend has passed away, most likely by his own hand. That's 4 in 13 months... my mate played Club Rugby for Wellington, Uni/Rep Rugby for Otago and Club Rugby all around the World, including Garryowen in Ireland. He was Head Coach for Adelaide University when we met and was State Coach for the South Australian Black Falcons. He was on the Board of Variety SA and a Consultant for the City of Adelaide and State Government. He was my Rugby mentor in Adelaide, instrumental in getting me involved with AURUFC and a good friend, always there to watch a match or put me up when I was only visiting Adelaide. He had a huge and positive influence on everyone who knew him well or moved in the same circles. He struggled with cancer, alcoholism and homelessness in recent years. I tried to reach out and help as much as I could but he slipped away from us. He will be sadly missed...In this time of feast and famine, I ask you all to do what you can: Reach out to friends and family who have become isolated or estranged. Be good to yourself and those around you. Volunteer for a local community club or charity. Join your Union or a progressive political party. Get out in nature, read a good book, create and nurture something beautiful whether it's a relationship, thing or experience. Life is fleeting, make the most of it...


The bold part. :thumbup:

4 in 13 months is shocking mate. :uhoh: Condolences.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 8:17 am 
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Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about rising suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming more and more interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...


Last edited by Taranaki Snapper on Fri Dec 21, 2018 2:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 9:10 am 
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Taranaki Snapper wrote:
Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about increasing suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming increasingly interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...


Good bloke, Snaps.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 2:35 pm 
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:thumbup:


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2018 8:23 pm 
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Taranaki Snapper wrote:
Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about rising suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming more and more interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...


Good on you mate. Really admire what you're doing. :thumbup:

I've been incredibly lucky in my life in that I have not known anyone who has taken their own life in my circle of family and friends. Such a sad and tragic thing to happen. I applaud you for the work you are doing and hope the reward you gain from that helps in some way to compensate for your loss. :(

I'm also lucky that I have a really close family and we will be getting together over Xmas for lots of fun, games and laughter. A time I always look forward to and cherish. Wishing you and your family a good Xmas despite your recent loss.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2018 12:42 am 
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booji boy wrote:
Taranaki Snapper wrote:
Thanks Booj, it's been a bit shit, 2 from my old nightclub days in Sydney and 2 from my Adelaide Rugby community...I myself am in good mental health and have a good support network but am becoming increasingly concerned about rising suicide rates, social isolation and the decline of social capital...I'm becoming more and more interested in working in that area, the post above is from a Facebook fundraiser I started last week, it's going well, despite the recent tragedy...


Good on you mate. Really admire what you're doing. :thumbup:

I've been incredibly lucky in my life in that I have not known anyone who has taken their own life in my circle of family and friends. Such a sad and tragic thing to happen. I applaud you for the work you are doing and hope the reward you gain from that helps in some way to compensate for your loss. :(

I'm also lucky that I have a really close family and we will be getting together over Xmas for lots of fun, games and laughter. A time I always look forward to and cherish. Wishing you and your family a good Xmas despite your recent loss.



Cheers Booj, I appreciate the kind and thoughtful words, all the best to you and yours...


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2018 5:01 am 
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Xmas is a tough one - Got my Mum over from England. She had an awful experience one year so keeping her chin up is #1 priority.

Keep alert chaps!


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:37 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Xmas is a tough one - Got my Mum over from England. She had an awful experience one year so keeping her chin up is #1 priority.

Keep alert chaps!

A guy I knew from the retail trade committed suicide yesterday. Saw him 2 days before that. Gutted


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2018 11:22 pm 
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One of my best friends had ball removed and confirmed it was malignant.
Waiting for an oncology appointment in the new year.
Can't really celebrate anything, my wife or anyone else have no idea how this has affected me.
:((


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:28 am 
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Shitty news at this time of the year for you both, c69 and Big Nipper.

c69, it would help if you could let it out to your wife.


Last edited by Kiwias on Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:28 am 
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I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:30 am 
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GWO2 wrote:
I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.


Heart breaking for you. Have you any sort of support person or group?


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:35 am 
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Kiwias wrote:
Shitty news at this time of the year for you both, c69 and Big Nipper.

c69, it would help if you could let it out to your wife.

I am crying my eyes out now.
Thanks.


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