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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2019 10:46 am
by bimboman

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Wed Jul 24, 2019 1:46 pm
by Pat the Ex Mat
Not have a great time of it presently. :|

Probably not a good idea to keep seeking out stressful Jobs :blush:

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 12:18 pm
by Tehui
eugenius wrote:
Wendigo7 wrote:
eugenius wrote:Truth is I’m now worried about my own mood.

I feel extremely flat .

Unusually.
What do you mean extremely flat?

That's a key question. Flat as in meh, flat as in a feeling of nothing, flat as in detachment. How do you mean?
All of the above , but improving .

New work place has been brilliant and I’m going in for a 1/2 day referesher before I go down south for the funeral .

Going to stay at Moeraki for two nights and hang with my old mate Fluer .

Always a good plan .

Thanks guys, didn’t mean to make this all about me , but I’m in uncharted territory here.
You sound like you're in grief. Perfectly understandable given what you've experienced.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 12:20 pm
by Tehui
Pat the Ex Mat wrote:Not have a great time of it presently. :|

Probably not a good idea to keep seeking out stressful Jobs :blush:
Imagine being a professional rugby coach?

Seriously though, I hope you're listening to your body.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:21 pm
by Wendigo7
Pat the Ex Mat wrote:Not have a great time of it presently. :|

Probably not a good idea to keep seeking out stressful Jobs :blush:
Having experience with this personally, if you need to go to a more relaxed position for a better mental state. Do it. Just do it.

It may end up being boring and mundane but you can deal with that later, put your mental health first. :D

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:23 pm
by Wendigo7
Also an update that my mind is currently in a much better state. Still seeing a councillor but going well.

Little changes can make a big difference. There's more things I want to work on, but progress is being made. :)

Less negative thoughts.

Note: Everyone in here, use the Headspace app. It's fantastic, readily available and good for you.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:30 pm
by Bowens
EverReady wrote:35/35 radio and 3/3 Cisplatin chemo done. Finished up Wednesday and as warned the pain has got worse each morning. The pain is mainly throat, tongue and mouth but drugs sort it out after about 20 mins so all sound. You sort of choke on this chewing gum mucous for about 20 mins after getting up. I do not recommend this part of the treatment and hopefully globus has some ideas. The radio stays working for 12 days so I have a few left to go. Unusually I have kept a good bit of my taste so had a quiche out with a mate yesterday. Burny but well edible. I am told 85% of patients would either be in hospital, tube fed or total soft diet so I am very grateful for that. That taste thing is what drives most patients crazy for often years so yeah thank fück. Overall a mental journey this far. They are doing my pet scan in two rather than four months as they don't like how long it took the tumour to respond. I think I mentioned before but they will just do a neck dissection then and I will look hard with a capital H.
Just catching up on this. You have a great attitude about it all but I know from seeing family members go through it this shit ain’t easy. Luckily most made it through and it sounds like you are on your way.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2019 1:33 pm
by Pat the Ex Mat
Wendigo7 wrote:
Pat the Ex Mat wrote:Not have a great time of it presently. :|

Probably not a good idea to keep seeking out stressful Jobs :blush:
Having experience with this personally, if you need to go to a more relaxed position for a better mental state. Do it. Just do it.

It may end up being boring and mundane but you can deal with that later, put your mental health first. :D
No, it's a.very valid point, I have plenty of interests outside of work

Sitting on Magnetic Island this weekend puts a bit of distance and perspective on it

It isn't helped by having my third new boss in 9 months.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 11:48 pm
by Wendigo7
So, I've been on the bored awhile I feel like sharing my weekend and last week because it's... I don't really know what to say. :(

My bank weekend - week in general has been shocking. Had my last counselling session, at least for now. Partially I led the sessions and didn't feel she was... apart from CBD and letting me talk off my chest, giving direction to what I was doing... helping. I did it myself. Maybe in fact it's a good thing I'm not entirely sure how to answer.

So on friday, I decided I was sick of work and took a day off and asked my family to go to Wareham down the river for a drink at the pub. All had time off, sister couldn't go due to work load but we nabbed the train, had a nice day. Avoided the car crash of cricket at least till I got back and watched the recording. I nip back home having had a good day, old man decides he wants to go for a few drinks (he'd drink you under the table) to the pub in Poole and that's that.

Next morning (saturday), get a text from my sister saying she's gone round and it seems like my old man is all drugged up (he hates drugs of all kinds so that's totally rubbish from the start). There was poo inside the house, in the kitchen, on the floor, in the bathroom.. everywhere. There's blood outside the house in a pool on the floor, about 10 feet from the back entrance... the bbq and inside the house. A lot of blood. My old man says he's been in half an hour. They then discover a massive hole/cut in the back of his head, top to bottom, which is humongous. They call 111 and he's taken to Poole hospital whilst I was ironically in hospital for something much less at the time. Found out he was then rushed to A&E and put on life support and was critical. He'd lost consciousness as well within 30 minutes. Doctors called the family in, notifying us he'd had a bleed on the brain, bruised brain and large swelling at the back of his head. A cracked skull, broken neck bones and spinal issues due to his "fall". He also has a bleed in the neck. My mother had found him outside our backdoor on the floor in a pool of blood and presumed he'd had a fall, the bbq is close to the door, there are stairs to the garden near but there's nothing really to cause this kind of impact. The back garden was also looked so no one could get in. At this point I'm completely lost/dumbfounded slightly/shellshocked and yet being me, totally positive he'd be fine. Horrifying seeing him with tubes and a bed sit, looking the state he is. It was scary to see my mum and sisters faces crying knowing the possibility that my father might die. We stay there an hour, he's recuperating and they then notify us that the injuries are luckily not bad enough to be operated on and they don't want to do any operation. Within 30 minutes he then gets moved to Southampton as a precaution for the neurology unit in case they need to act quickly and they don't want to have issues if they moved later with bank holiday traffic.

I chose to stay at home, look after the family cats whilst watching the sport. It's in my opinion the only way I would have dealt with that situation. Sitting in a locked room, stewing over not being there and why I couldn't help overnight would have made my mind poisonous. Old man's in a bedsit and all I could do is wait. Finally, by some miracle, they initially were going to be doing an operation to relieve the pressure on my dads head but, chose to do a scan to make sure and found the most startling thing. My dads swelling had spontaneously removed the bleed on the brain, there were no signs of clots, or blood flow issues on the brain. In a sense he had fixed himself completely by luck. Started to come to on Saturday evening but was in a lot of pain. Supposedly as you grow older (no I didn't know this) your brain shrinks. He had an absurd stroke of luck in that the brain had enough room to cater the swelling and it had dealt with the bleed as well. So shocked were the medical staff, that he is now in a medical journal or will be for what they've described as a freak of nature. They'd never seen it recorded before.

Thankfully, they discharged him yesterday and he came home :D . Never felt so relieved to see him back, was like something was missing in the family household. He's still suffering from concussive symptoms... sickness, light head, lack of concentration. However, I still have plenty of questions behind the incident though. When he became conscious he was found outside at about 7am on the floor outside the back entrance. His friend states they were dropped back in a taxi at 2:30am at the end of our road, they've had a chat and he's walked home (30 second walk max). So by the friends reckoning he's been outside knocked out for 4 hours. My old man thinks he's been dropped off at 11:30pm the previous evening because the pub did shut then, he'd only had 3-4 pints and told everyone he wasn't drinking much. He also only goes to that particular pub. Which means he's been outside roughly 7 hours and isn't drunk whatsoever. Once he gets back he goes to bed. He's walked in the house, locked up the house and for some reason, he's walked outside and fallen. This doesn't make sense because there's nothing to really fall on. Nor are there any dangerous objects in the garden, nothing's been moved (even today everything is where it should be), there is no blood outside the house except for the bbq and the area where he lay. I'm adamant he's been there a while because he has bleed from the cut once he's got in the house, so it's had time for the impact to dry around the flesh wound. He's been there ages.

Friends of his think he may have been attacked with a club outside the house. Couple of problems with that. The garden is 2 tiered. House back entrance is the lower part and it goes to an upper section. If he was hit from behind, the guy would have had to have had extraordinarily large arms and not make a sound to reach my old man because the gap between the 2 parts is quite large. Secondly, the doctors did notify us he received 2 impacts to the brain, causing the large gash but in separate incidents. Right well that makes to me no sense if he's been clubbed with 1 large hit on the brain, because we have covers on the BBQ and there was a blood stain on that and only on the pool of blood where he laid. More importantly with the attack idea, is my dad had the house keys on him. If they attacked him and he was prone, they could have just searched him and wanted to get inside, used the keys and they could have. They didn't. No one came in, no ones taken any wallets or anything. Nothing's gone and nothing's moved, there's no foot prints either. There's no motive because he didn't have anything on him either and he doesn't upset anyone. I can only assume he's hit is head on the covering of the BBQ going backwards, landed on his bum and bumped his head for whatever reason and then laid there for hours.

Just wanted to get that off the chest. Partially in total shock, nothing has ever happened in my family like this and also because I've so many questions. The cause of impact makes no sense with any theory I can think of. Too far for an attack, no motive or reason and there's nothing to trip him up. I don't understand. I just don't understand why this has happened. Took the week off work to go over and watch over him. I'm a bit speechless tbh.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 11:56 pm
by Nolanator
Jesus. He's on the mend now? That's the main thing. :thumbup:

He's not in the hospital any more is he?

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 9:04 am
by DragonKhan
Just the normal stress free weekend then :lol:

But seriously though, what a strange stroke of fortune and glad he is on the mend!

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 9:53 am
by lorcanoworms
Here I was feeling a bit sorry for myself because a lot of my pals are moving abroad.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:02 am
by backrow
EverReady wrote:
There was poo inside the house, in the kitchen, on the floor, in the bathroom.. everywhere
Who the fück did the massive poo and who cleaned it up!!!!!
Rule 1

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 1:53 pm
by globus
With you Mr Battery. My very best wishes.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 3:19 pm
by Salanya
EverReady wrote:So had my two month special scan in September and it showed it was still lighting up a bit. During the summer they were pretty definitive on the ENT side I would be getting surgery but the radiation dudes felt it may not be needed. After the 2 month scan they agreed to wait until a four month scan which was last week. Initially they rang me Friday and said still lighting up a bit and would discuss it at main consultant MDT today. They then rang me this am and pretty unexpectedly said no cancer left in neck. So that is that. Because cancer is sort of humourous they have found a cyst on my kidneys but reckon it is nothing. Tests to come but I am not worried. Thanks for the well wishes lads and good luck with your own journeys
Great news ER. :thumbup:

Feel free to return here if you ever need the ear of a bunch of sad depressed nutters.

If not you will find plenty of them on any other thread too.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 4:13 pm
by ZappaMan
Take that, cancer :smug:

Terrific news, ER :thumbup:

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:21 pm
by happyhooker
EverReady wrote:Thanks all. Fück cancer indeed
Excellent news ER.

From my current position sitting in an oncology ward, indeed, fúck cancer

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:53 pm
by Floppykid
EverReady wrote:So had my two month special scan in September and it showed it was still lighting up a bit. During the summer they were pretty definitive on the ENT side I would be getting surgery but the radiation dudes felt it may not be needed. After the 2 month scan they agreed to wait until a four month scan which was last week. Initially they rang me Friday and said still lighting up a bit and would discuss it at main consultant MDT today. They then rang me this am and pretty unexpectedly said no cancer left in neck. So that is that. Because cancer is sort of humourous they have found a cyst on my kidneys but reckon it is nothing. Tests to come but I am not worried. Thanks for the well wishes lads and good luck with your own journeys
:thumbup:
Great to read.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 6:13 pm
by DragonKhan
Great news ER!

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 6:18 pm
by happyhooker
EverReady wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
EverReady wrote:Thanks all. Fück cancer indeed
Excellent news ER.

From my current position sitting in an oncology ward, indeed, fúck cancer
You visiting or in the midst of it?
Dad. Stage 5 pancreatic

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:17 pm
by iarmhiman
Great news ER

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:32 pm
by naki
EverReady wrote:So had my two month special scan in September and it showed it was still lighting up a bit. During the summer they were pretty definitive on the ENT side I would be getting surgery but the radiation dudes felt it may not be needed. After the 2 month scan they agreed to wait until a four month scan which was last week. Initially they rang me Friday and said still lighting up a bit and would discuss it at main consultant MDT today. They then rang me this am and pretty unexpectedly said no cancer left in neck. So that is that. Because cancer is sort of humourous they have found a cyst on my kidneys but reckon it is nothing. Tests to come but I am not worried. Thanks for the well wishes lads and good luck with your own journeys
Hell yeah, bro :thumbup:

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:38 pm
by Liathroidigloine
EverReady wrote:So had my two month special scan in September and it showed it was still lighting up a bit. During the summer they were pretty definitive on the ENT side I would be getting surgery but the radiation dudes felt it may not be needed. After the 2 month scan they agreed to wait until a four month scan which was last week. Initially they rang me Friday and said still lighting up a bit and would discuss it at main consultant MDT today. They then rang me this am and pretty unexpectedly said no cancer left in neck. So that is that. Because cancer is sort of humourous they have found a cyst on my kidneys but reckon it is nothing. Tests to come but I am not worried. Thanks for the well wishes lads and good luck with your own journeys
I knew you'd be sticking around for a while. Delighted with your good news.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:39 pm
by Liathroidigloine
happyhooker wrote:
EverReady wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
EverReady wrote:Thanks all. Fück cancer indeed
Excellent news ER.

From my current position sitting in an oncology ward, indeed, fúck cancer
You visiting or in the midst of it?
Dad. Stage 5 pancreatic
That's shit. Good luck.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:54 pm
by Winnie
EverReady wrote:So had my two month special scan in September and it showed it was still lighting up a bit. During the summer they were pretty definitive on the ENT side I would be getting surgery but the radiation dudes felt it may not be needed. After the 2 month scan they agreed to wait until a four month scan which was last week. Initially they rang me Friday and said still lighting up a bit and would discuss it at main consultant MDT today. They then rang me this am and pretty unexpectedly said no cancer left in neck. So that is that. Because cancer is sort of humourous they have found a cyst on my kidneys but reckon it is nothing. Tests to come but I am not worried. Thanks for the well wishes lads and good luck with your own journeys
Great stuff ER :thumbup:

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:57 pm
by themaddog
Liathroidigloine wrote:
EverReady wrote:So had my two month special scan in September and it showed it was still lighting up a bit. During the summer they were pretty definitive on the ENT side I would be getting surgery but the radiation dudes felt it may not be needed. After the 2 month scan they agreed to wait until a four month scan which was last week. Initially they rang me Friday and said still lighting up a bit and would discuss it at main consultant MDT today. They then rang me this am and pretty unexpectedly said no cancer left in neck. So that is that. Because cancer is sort of humourous they have found a cyst on my kidneys but reckon it is nothing. Tests to come but I am not worried. Thanks for the well wishes lads and good luck with your own journeys
I knew you'd be sticking around for a while. Delighted with your good news.
When you logon and some random looper's good news cheers you up no end. :thumbup:

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 8:09 pm
by redderneck
Now that's daycent ER. Nicely.

Thoughts with you HappyHooker. Toughest of stations.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2019 8:31 pm
by ZappaMan
EverReady wrote:Thanks all. Means a lot. I think people feel under pressure to be a better person after something like this and I didn't think I would particularly. Fact is I am a more honest person now, by that I mean with myself. I am much calmer and decidedly happier. I am not saying it is worth the spectre that happyhooker is living with but you can gain something from all the pain.
Wise words, well said.

Genuinely delighted for you.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 12:47 am
by Kiwias
EverReady wrote:Thanks all. Fück cancer indeed
Well done, ER.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 1:02 am
by 18ChinsOfChinatown
Delighted to hear that, ER. :)

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 1:11 am
by Kiwias
EverReady wrote:Thanks all. Means a lot. I think people feel under pressure to be a better person after something like this and I didn't think I would particularly. Fact is I am a more honest person now, by that I mean with myself. I am much calmer and decidedly happier. I am not saying it is worth the spectre that happyhooker is living with but you can gain something from all the pain.
An excellent comment.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 4:00 am
by Pat the Ex Mat
Great news!

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 5:38 am
by Rinkals
Pleased to hear the good news, ER.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 11:54 pm
by Nolanator
That's class, ER.

Hope things are as contraband as possible, HH.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:08 am
by happyhooker
Nolanator wrote:That's class, ER.

Hope things are as contraband as possible, HH.
Thanks, I offered to smuggle him in some whisky but he said he didn't fancy it right now.

Maybe later

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 7:18 am
by Stjudes
Great news ER. A nice chilled Chrimbo ahead for ya.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 8:56 am
by Kiwias
happyhooker wrote:
EverReady wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
EverReady wrote:Thanks all. Fück cancer indeed
Excellent news ER.

From my current position sitting in an oncology ward, indeed, fúck cancer
You visiting or in the midst of it?
Dad. Stage 5 pancreatic
Sad to hear but it's good you are able to be with him, good but tough.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 2:15 pm
by shabadoo
EverReady wrote:So had my two month special scan in September and it showed it was still lighting up a bit. During the summer they were pretty definitive on the ENT side I would be getting surgery but the radiation dudes felt it may not be needed. After the 2 month scan they agreed to wait until a four month scan which was last week. Initially they rang me Friday and said still lighting up a bit and would discuss it at main consultant MDT today. They then rang me this am and pretty unexpectedly said no cancer left in neck. So that is that. Because cancer is sort of humourous they have found a cyst on my kidneys but reckon it is nothing. Tests to come but I am not worried. Thanks for the well wishes lads and good luck with your own journeys
That's made my day - genuinely delighted for you ER, you are one of the good guys. :thumbup:

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 2:18 pm
by Nolanator
happyhooker wrote:
Nolanator wrote:That's class, ER.

Hope things are as contraband as possible, HH.
Thanks, I offered to smuggle him in some whisky but he said he didn't fancy it right now.

Maybe later
:lol:
As predictive text typos go, that's not the worst.

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 2:34 pm
by Liathroidigloine
EverReady wrote:I have been getting the congrats for a few days in the real world as well. Women coming up behind me in the school yard and giving me a squeeze and saying 'delighted for you'. I would have faked getting better ages ago if I knew I was going to get touched up. Off to Rome next week and as noted a very different Christmas in store.
http://www.anticabirreriaperoni.it/

Give this place a blast, it's lovely.