Planet Rugby Forum

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:

mr bungle wrote:

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Oddly, I am quite fine with working from home - I have done it before so it's not that bad.

I'm loving the exposure of useless managers. With stuff like Teams, it really shows them up.

We've.adeed.in wellbeing channels and exercise into a work from home team

You have no children Working from home is one thing, working from home with children is quite another. My wife and I found it a total pain in the arse over lockdown and we weren't working fulltime by any stretch.

Maybe some sympathy for those trying to parent and work from home fulltime.

This isn't the thread for it

Neat of you to mention that, I should have said the same when you followed a post about those struggling with juggling work and children during lockdown with your first comment above.

But yes, let the thread continue as it mostly has.

DragsterDriver wrote:

Nolanator wrote:That's hard to read, GW. I've nothing to add other than my sympathies. I can't begin to imagine what that's like.

It’s nearly the saddest thing I’ve ever read. Felt like a guy punch here.

No nearly about it. What a truly horrible hand to have been dealt.

Heartfelt sympathies GW. If you want to chat, this is the thread for it.

GW- does your wife have any favourite flowers? Do either of you like chocolate? Wine? A favourite DVD?

If you wanted to email a mod your address I’d love to send something via amazon or whatever.

Not really sure if this is even appropriate

DragsterDriver wrote:GW- does your wife have any favourite flowers? Do either of you like chocolate? Wine? A favourite DVD?

If you wanted to email a mod your address I’d love to send something via amazon or whatever.

Not really sure if this is even appropriate

+1

Perfume or something?
My granny passed peacefully recently and wasn't really with it at the end. Wasn't really aware who she was talking to, but would occasionally drift back into lucidity and know exactly who she was with. My mum said one of the last things she did with her was to play Handle's Messiah and my granny perked up and hummed along. They used to go to the National Concert Hall every year to watch it.
I've heard that those senses like music and smell last a long time.

I really appreciate all the good wishes. It just got to me last night, things are much better today. Once again, thanks a lot.

Just checking in on people, especially GW02 - hope things are as well as can be for you and your wife.

Not going to work has definitely softened my moods - it'd be nice to plan some trips or meet with friends in a pub, or even watch some rugby, but apart from that these last few months have been fine.
I know a lot of people will miss socialising, family, daily routines, work achievements etc. so hope everyone is still managing.

What is frustrating me is the level of ignorance, trolling and blatant lies that are just everywhere at the moment. It's not the thread to go into a full rant, and the fact is that there aren't quick solutions.
But it's no surprise that in our modern societies people's mental health suffers, in many shapes and forms.

Having a dog for the first time has greatly improved my day to day mood.

My contract expires next month but I am much calmer than normal about it.

The longer it takes to get another one, the more time I get to walk the dog.

I have a female family member who's anxiety has become so bad, that she had to give up sports because she often feels incapacitated in front of other people. When I spoke with her last week, I made sure to listen to her without offering any solutions. At the end of the conversation, I did say to her that I find it incredibly sad that she feels unable to share what's going on with her with one of her friends.

I wish everybody else on here all the best with their mental, emotional and spiritual fitness.

If PR survives the next year in whatever shape or form, it's because of threads like this one.

Business is in overdrive throughout lockdown and very close to burning out between work and family - but it's absolutely nothing on what some boredies are dealing with.

Putting it out there with internet randoms may not come easy, but could help (and very likely helps others to hear your perspective). Really feel for some posters on here, can't imagine how difficult it's been. Look after yourselves, friends and family - and thanks for sharing what you're going through, it means a lot.

lemonhead wrote:If PR survives the next year in whatever shape or form, it's because of threads like this one.

Business is in overdrive throughout lockdown and very close to burning out between work and family - but it's absolutely nothing on what some boredies are dealing with.

Putting it out there with internet randoms may not come easy, but could help (and very likely helps others to hear your perspective). Really feel for some posters on here, can't imagine how difficult it's been. Look after yourselves, friends and family - and thanks for sharing what you're going through, it means a lot.

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:Having a dog for the first time has greatly improved my day to day mood.

My contract expires next month but I am much calmer than normal about it.

The longer it takes to get another one, the more time I get to walk the dog.

I'm pretty dependent on Facebook friends posting pics of their dogs you know...

Shielding/lockdown has been tough, started about 3 months after my greyhound died. We're always saying how much he would have loved it. Having to get out and walk would have done my mental health some good.

Been really poor these last few weeks, probably evident in the angry Facebook status on Saturday morning. Complex interplay of factors, but mainly I'd not felt 'extremely clinically vulnerable' since my late teens/early 20s. Mental health was extremely poor then, and I spent a long period of time unemployed and nearly a shut-in. These last few months have been difficult, little opportunity to work and feel some sense of being a useful human rather than vulnerable and needing to be protected.

I'll keep posting them!

As posted before I have health anxiety and since COVID was not feeling too bad. Probably something else to take my mind off my perceived health issues. However over the past 2 weeks I was getting down and blood pressure was rising rapidly. So went to the docs (telephone style) and after discussions , agreed to go on anti-depressants. I was given Sertraline and was feeling good about it.

Got the pills and took one. 3 hours later and mad rush to the toilet and my bowels just went whoosh. On walking back to the living room my thighs seized up. I could hardly lift either leg. Ankles and feet OK just thighs. Tried to lie on the bed and felt terrible (my mind was of course going through all health anxiety issues like stroke, heart attack, etc). Kept like this for the next hour. Then shoulders started to seize up. My wife read the paper leaflet with the pills and it did say muscle spasms could occur. Luckily I had a Valium so took that. Calmed down a little. Awful night. Next day legs just leaden like I had run many marathons. Phoned the doc and said, no bloody way am I taking them. Took 3 days to get over it. Agreed to phone doc again this week to discuss alternatives. Perhaps beta blockers he said.

Now feeling so much better and BP is spot on. However that has put me off antidepressants.

Salanya wrote:Just checking in on people, especially GW02 - hope things are as well as can be for you and your wife.

Not going to work has definitely softened my moods - it'd be nice to plan some trips or meet with friends in a pub, or even watch some rugby, but apart from that these last few months have been fine.
I know a lot of people will miss socialising, family, daily routines, work achievements etc. so hope everyone is still managing.

What is frustrating me is the level of ignorance, trolling and blatant lies that are just everywhere at the moment. It's not the thread to go into a full rant, and the fact is that there aren't quick solutions.
But it's no surprise that in our modern societies people's mental health suffers, in many shapes and forms.

I haven`t been on here much lately so missed your post.Thanks for thinking of me, I`m coping at the moment but it is getting harder. She cannot remember how to turn on the TV or what channel she likes watching, with money, some days she doesn`1t know the difference between 5 10 or 20 pound notes. She cannot remember our next door but one, neighbours even though they have lived there for twenty one years.It is very frustrating, I just take one day at the time and think as little as possible of the future.

GWO2 wrote:

Salanya wrote:Just checking in on people, especially GW02 - hope things are as well as can be for you and your wife.

Not going to work has definitely softened my moods - it'd be nice to plan some trips or meet with friends in a pub, or even watch some rugby, but apart from that these last few months have been fine.
I know a lot of people will miss socialising, family, daily routines, work achievements etc. so hope everyone is still managing.

What is frustrating me is the level of ignorance, trolling and blatant lies that are just everywhere at the moment. It's not the thread to go into a full rant, and the fact is that there aren't quick solutions.
But it's no surprise that in our modern societies people's mental health suffers, in many shapes and forms.

I haven`t been on here much lately so missed your post.Thanks for thinking of me, I`m coping at the moment but it is getting harder. She cannot remember how to turn on the TV or what channel she likes watching, with money, some days she doesn`1t know the difference between 5 10 or 20 pound notes. She cannot remember our next door but one, neighbours even though they have lived there for twenty one years.It is very frustrating, I just take one day at the time and think as little as possible of the future.

Have you looked at getting home help?

Gavin Duffy wrote:

GWO2 wrote:

Salanya wrote:Just checking in on people, especially GW02 - hope things are as well as can be for you and your wife.

Not going to work has definitely softened my moods - it'd be nice to plan some trips or meet with friends in a pub, or even watch some rugby, but apart from that these last few months have been fine.
I know a lot of people will miss socialising, family, daily routines, work achievements etc. so hope everyone is still managing.

What is frustrating me is the level of ignorance, trolling and blatant lies that are just everywhere at the moment. It's not the thread to go into a full rant, and the fact is that there aren't quick solutions.
But it's no surprise that in our modern societies people's mental health suffers, in many shapes and forms.

I haven`t been on here much lately so missed your post.Thanks for thinking of me, I`m coping at the moment but it is getting harder. She cannot remember how to turn on the TV or what channel she likes watching, with money, some days she doesn`1t know the difference between 5 10 or 20 pound notes. She cannot remember our next door but one, neighbours even though they have lived there for twenty one years.It is very frustrating, I just take one day at the time and think as little as possible of the future.

Have you looked at getting home help?

Had to wait until she went up to bed to answer. Most of the time she is very lucid and aware that her memory is get so bad, she is frightened and and gets really upset at the thought of it. I try and console her worries, telling her she is not that bad.If I even mentioned getting home help I think it would terrify her so no way. Any how I am coping around the house and garden pretty well and on a good day she does clean here and there (she still does a better job than I do) I still have time to waste on here and building models etc etc.(helps to take my mind off it) So it`s not all bad.

I hear you, GWO2. For the avoidance of doubt I have walked a similar path to you over the last decade or so, albeit as a son rather than a spouse. Still a hard road to walk and many lessons were learned. I can share what I've learned over time, but as you say it's a sensitive thing and timing is still important. I think the hardest thing I had to do was when I told my father he couldn't drive anymore and had to take his keys away. He was in a lucid phase at the time and the shock and hurt in his face was something I'll never forget. Anyway, stay as strong as you can you are not alone.

Gavin Duffy wrote:I hear you, GWO2. For the avoidance of doubt I have walked a similar path to you over the last decade or so, albeit as a son rather than a spouse. Still a hard road to walk and many lessons were learned. I can share what I've learned over time, but as you say it's a sensitive thing and timing is still important. I think the hardest thing I had to do was when I told my father he couldn't drive anymore and had to take his keys away. He was in a lucid phase at the time and the shock and hurt in his face was something I'll never forget. Anyway, stay as strong as you can you are not alone.

Cheers, really appreciate it that others are thinking of us. (I keep as much as possible from our children but they are middle aged now and I have told the daughter how bad she can get sometimes

mr bungle wrote:

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:

mr bungle wrote:

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Oddly, I am quite fine with working from home - I have done it before so it's not that bad.

I'm loving the exposure of useless managers. With stuff like Teams, it really shows them up.

We've.adeed.in wellbeing channels and exercise into a work from home team

You have no children Working from home is one thing, working from home with children is quite another. My wife and I found it a total pain in the arse over lockdown and we weren't working fulltime by any stretch.

Maybe some sympathy for those trying to parent and work from home fulltime.

This isn't the thread for it

Neat of you to mention that, I should have said the same when you followed a post about those struggling with juggling work and children during lockdown with your first comment above.

But yes, let the thread continue as it mostly has.

Spare a thought for those who live alone. Pre-COVID they might have enjoyed coming home from a busy office to an empty house. Now it's quiet all the time. Can't be easy.

GW02: good to hear you're hanging in there, though I can only imagine how tough the situation is. I have some (limited) similar experience with my grandmother: my mother is/was a professional carer and supported my nan initially, but at some point getting help was necessary and made all the difference.
So even though your wife may not quite be ready for it, perhaps you could start thinking about getting help, how it could be introduced gradually etc. Alleviating some of the pressure on you will only mean that you can support your wife better. But whatever you do, be assured a bunch of anonymous weirdos on an internet forum are thinking of you.

Bobbity: each time the shielding issues come up my thoughts go out to you, sorry to hear times have been tough.

For me the lockdown has actually been pretty enjoyable, and although dreading isn't quite the word, I'm not too excited about going back to work in a week's time. My dog has definitely made a big difference (in life but especially in these recent months): good company without getting on your nerves, and a great reason to keep going out in nature and going for walks. Dogs are amazing.

dac is twat

jdogscoop wrote:

mr bungle wrote:

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:

mr bungle wrote:

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Oddly, I am quite fine with working from home - I have done it before so it's not that bad.

I'm loving the exposure of useless managers. With stuff like Teams, it really shows them up.

We've.adeed.in wellbeing channels and exercise into a work from home team

You have no children Working from home is one thing, working from home with children is quite another. My wife and I found it a total pain in the arse over lockdown and we weren't working fulltime by any stretch.

Maybe some sympathy for those trying to parent and work from home fulltime.

This isn't the thread for it

Neat of you to mention that, I should have said the same when you followed a post about those struggling with juggling work and children during lockdown with your first comment above.

But yes, let the thread continue as it mostly has.

Spare a thought for those who live alone. Pre-COVID they might have enjoyed coming home from a busy office to an empty house. Now it's quiet all the time. Can't be easy.

It isn't, I bought my first house not too long prior to lockdown. I was immediately furloughed. I have the money to keep going, though I expect to be made redundant shortly, but by god is it boring/lonely. I have quite a few friends in the city around me, guys from uni, but they all smoke weed every night(previously posted about my troubles quitting that horrid stuff) and I'm worried I'd pick it up were I around it.

My everyday is wake up, wander around my house, go out for a few hours(learnt to kitesurf over lockdown) but one can't help but introspect for hours each day.

To be so without purpose is very difficult, and I have very unsympathetic view sto the lockdown(why punish 27 year olds to save ill 80 year olds is my most common venting)

Wyndham Upalot wrote:dac is twat

What the hell has your opinion on DAC got to do with this thread?

jdogscoop wrote:
Spare a thought for those who live alone. Pre-COVID they might have enjoyed coming home from a busy office to an empty house. Now it's quiet all the time. Can't be easy.

It isn't, I bought my first house not too long prior to lockdown. I was immediately furloughed. I have the money to keep going, though I expect to be made redundant shortly, but by god is it boring/lonely. I have quite a few friends in the city around me, guys from uni, but they all smoke weed every night(previously posted about my troubles quitting that horrid stuff) and I'm worried I'd pick it up were I around it.

My everyday is wake up, wander around my house, go out for a few hours(learnt to kitesurf over lockdown) but one can't help but introspect for hours each day.

To be so without purpose is very difficult, and I have very unsympathetic view sto the lockdown(why punish 27 year olds to save ill 80 year olds is my most common venting)

Reminds me of my move back to Melbourne 4.5 years ago when my wife got a job first. It was a bit of a listless existence firing off the odd CV during the day and going for the occasional run while waiting for the evening to roll around again for a bit more entertainment.

On the upside, you're only 27 and have your own place.

I was living alone during the highest level of lockdown here. My only source of socialising was drinking over Zoom with absolute battlers living in Melbourne.

Theflier wrote:[
To be so without purpose is very difficult, and I have very unsympathetic view sto the lockdown(why punish 27 year olds to save ill 80 year olds is my most common venting)

No interest in an argument, but scroll back up to my previous post. I'm 39 and self-employed. We're not all sick 80yr olds. I'm sorry living alone isn't easy, there are other perspectives too.

Ghost-Of-Nepia wrote:I was living alone during the highest level of lockdown here. My only source of socialising was drinking over Zoom with absolute battlers living in Melbourne.

What a terrible way to describe our mutual friend Wellswah.

jdogscoop wrote:

mr bungle wrote:

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:

mr bungle wrote:

Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
Oddly, I am quite fine with working from home - I have done it before so it's not that bad.

I'm loving the exposure of useless managers. With stuff like Teams, it really shows them up.

We've.adeed.in wellbeing channels and exercise into a work from home team

You have no children Working from home is one thing, working from home with children is quite another. My wife and I found it a total pain in the arse over lockdown and we weren't working fulltime by any stretch.

Maybe some sympathy for those trying to parent and work from home fulltime.

This isn't the thread for it

Neat of you to mention that, I should have said the same when you followed a post about those struggling with juggling work and children during lockdown with your first comment above.

But yes, let the thread continue as it mostly has.

Spare a thought for those who live alone. Pre-COVID they might have enjoyed coming home from a busy office to an empty house. Now it's quiet all the time. Can't be easy.

Yeah ive been living alone since moving into a lovely new abode late last year and normally love it but not during the peak of the lockdown laws which will do most people's swede right in.

My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.

Really sorry to hear that, Floppy.

Stay strong, lad.

Thoughts are with you.

SOrry for your loss Floppy. Take care.

Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.

Really sad news, mate. Condolences to you and your family.

Sorry to hear that, Floppy. Been a very long road for you. Best wishes.

Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.

Sorry to hear that Floppy. It’s hard to take. It sounds like you were there at the end though? It’s good if you were. I was an hour late so that made me angry for a while. Go well, either way.

Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.

Sorry to hear that Floppy. It was good you were here.

RIP

Mind yourself. RIP.

Please forgive me but I just need to vent a bit.

I had a call from my son and it seems that my dil is in a very bad place.

Background: when she gave birth to the twins (now 3 and a half years old), they discovered a tumour at the base of her spine (they said it was ependymoma) that could cause major problems. They removed 50% by surgery about three years ago but could not take 100% because of the risk of injury to the spine. The remaining bit is not growing or expanding at all, but the continued pressure is restricting her movement and making her very easy to tire. Not to mention the anxiety of carrying this time bomb.

It had been causing mood swings for a while but the lockdown seems to have aggravated it to the stage that -- in my son's words "the aggression, the abuse, and the utter lack of gratitude is driving him crazy."

She will be loving and caring with the grandkids and the neck minit be screaming "get away from me, get out, find another family who wants you cause I don't" and the sort. The kids are suffering. If my son or her parents, who live close, attempt to moderate, she turns the anger on them. It is so bad now that several of her closest friends have discussed it with my son.

She is aware of what she does when the mood hits but serial fatigue and frustration just overwhelm her and she can't control the rage. She has bi-annual MRI checkups on the tumour and this now includes a brain scan that shows no abnormalities.

I think we are all considering an intervention with her therapist and psychiatrist, with a view that she may be bipolar. I'm so f**king far away and feel utterly helpless. When I asked my lad if there was anything I could do, he said, "just be available in case I need to chat and vent." The first thought I has was "Thank god I'm sober now".

You know, it does help to vent.

Best wishes Kiwias.