PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

All things Rugby
User avatar
Diego
Posts: 20176
Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:14 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Diego »

Best of luck FK :thumbup:
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

Thanks everyone.

In many ways the worst/most pressing issue is whether or not I go back to Canada in this climate.
My job is at stake at this point (though again remote work will probably be very much in fashion as the weeks go on), and the Mrs. is incredibly anxious to get me back to Canada asap too. She's not nearly as convinced of the severity of the Coronavirus outbreak as I am.

Not going back could be the coup de grace to my job and badly strain/damage my relationship.

As you guys have probably guessed though, my mom is a walking statistic w/regards to this outbreak.
I was open to going back and forth regardless of cost, but it seems such a severe risk now.
User avatar
Blackrock Bullet
Posts: 14682
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: #68

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Blackrock Bullet »

Floppykid wrote:I'm in a bit of a grit my teeth and bear it/bizarre/horrific time in my life too.

Mother's lung cancer has spread all over really it seems, it was "just" a metastasis on the brain that they resected and treated with radiation, only for it to come back again very quickly and for her to get it treated with a fairly severe localised radiation.
She's still there as a person but out of focus, her body is breaking down from everything and I'm spending most of my day carrying her around the house, trying not to break down myself. I'm pretty much working 12-14 hour a day between taking care of her and remote work. There are times I get so frustrated I almost want to scream in her face (I never let my frustration boil over) because of how she cant respond or move right or needs almost everything done for her. I cant focus on anything, I'm always exhausted, I have no motivation and I'm gaining huge amounts of weight.

Then I remember what unimaginable terror she's facing, who she is and the pain she's experiencing and I feel shame and guilt and dread.

It's also in her spine now too, which makes the pain unbearable and it's only getting worse.

She still holds on to her dignity in any way she can, has moments/behaviors of denial of what's going to happen which makes it so much harder.

She still likes to buy nice things for herself whenever she can and when she still takes the time to put them on and look her best, she spends her time looking through her new purchases for the things shes going to wear. It's so sad I struggle not to break down as it's happening.

My partner needs me to return to Canada and I need to to keep my job. I was going to go and come back at semi regular intervals, regardless of the cost. I cant break her heart by leaving until she's bound for the deathbed, I've been with her in the ambulance during pulmonary oedema, I've heard the rattle and I don't want that to be the next thing I see of her. Part of me even felt slight relief that I may miss the next horrible acute medical event, as shameful as I feel saying that.

f**king Coronavirus has shat all over that and now I feel completely paralysed and trapped. She gets that and it's over far sooner and I'd feel responsible potentially bringing it back. But I also risk so much staying here.

It's also why I find some people's comments about the coronavirus being "whatever, it'll only kill the weak/old" online (and here it seems) horrifyingly callous, I hope it's ignorance.
Very sorry to hear this pal.

I know only a fraction of what you’re doing but I know some of it from my own family situation in the last year. You are doing the very decent thing and that will matter in the long term.
jezzer
Posts: 1490
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:57 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by jezzer »

Floppykid wrote:Thanks everyone.

In many ways the worst/most pressing issue is whether or not I go back to Canada in this climate.
My job is at stake at this point (though again remote work will probably be very much in fashion as the weeks go on), and the Mrs. is incredibly anxious to get me back to Canada asap too. She's not nearly as convinced of the severity of the Coronavirus outbreak as I am.

Not going back could be the coup de grace to my job and badly strain/damage my relationship.

As you guys have probably guessed though, my mom is a walking statistic w/regards to this outbreak.
I was open to going back and forth regardless of cost, but it seems such a severe risk now.
Reads to me like you're doing a terrific job and prioritising the person in most need - your poor mum - over yourself and your partner and your job. I can't imagine you ever regretting that decision and I think what you're doing should be a source of calm and gratification for you - not stress. You're being a model son and citizen so don't beat yourself up.

Maybe if pressure back in Canada is building (which , just because it might be justified doesn't mean it's your fault or responsibility) would it be an idea to take a break for a short time? If finances allow, have your sisters help your mum and come back to see her in a week or two before coronavirus affects travel to Canada.

If that's not a runner, I still think you're doing what's right.
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

jezzer wrote:
Floppykid wrote:Thanks everyone.

In many ways the worst/most pressing issue is whether or not I go back to Canada in this climate.
My job is at stake at this point (though again remote work will probably be very much in fashion as the weeks go on), and the Mrs. is incredibly anxious to get me back to Canada asap too. She's not nearly as convinced of the severity of the Coronavirus outbreak as I am.

Not going back could be the coup de grace to my job and badly strain/damage my relationship.

As you guys have probably guessed though, my mom is a walking statistic w/regards to this outbreak.
I was open to going back and forth regardless of cost, but it seems such a severe risk now.
Reads to me like you're doing a terrific job and prioritising the person in most need - your poor mum - over yourself and your partner and your job. I can't imagine you ever regretting that decision and I think what you're doing should be a source of calm and gratification for you - not stress. You're being a model son and citizen so don't beat yourself up.

Maybe if pressure back in Canada is building (which , just because it might be justified doesn't mean it's your fault or responsibility) would it be an idea to take a break for a short time? If finances allow, have your sisters help your mum and come back to see her in a week or two before coronavirus affects travel to Canada.

If that's not a runner, I still think you're doing what's right.
That's what I was hoping, but I couldn't bear the idea of bringing the virus into the house if I caught it on a plane. :(

Also, there's some articles emerging from Italy stating even young people are being brought to ICUs.
jezzer
Posts: 1490
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:57 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by jezzer »

Floppykid wrote:
jezzer wrote:
Floppykid wrote:Thanks everyone.

In many ways the worst/most pressing issue is whether or not I go back to Canada in this climate.
My job is at stake at this point (though again remote work will probably be very much in fashion as the weeks go on), and the Mrs. is incredibly anxious to get me back to Canada asap too. She's not nearly as convinced of the severity of the Coronavirus outbreak as I am.

Not going back could be the coup de grace to my job and badly strain/damage my relationship.

As you guys have probably guessed though, my mom is a walking statistic w/regards to this outbreak.
I was open to going back and forth regardless of cost, but it seems such a severe risk now.
Reads to me like you're doing a terrific job and prioritising the person in most need - your poor mum - over yourself and your partner and your job. I can't imagine you ever regretting that decision and I think what you're doing should be a source of calm and gratification for you - not stress. You're being a model son and citizen so don't beat yourself up.

Maybe if pressure back in Canada is building (which , just because it might be justified doesn't mean it's your fault or responsibility) would it be an idea to take a break for a short time? If finances allow, have your sisters help your mum and come back to see her in a week or two before coronavirus affects travel to Canada.

If that's not a runner, I still think you're doing what's right.
That's what I was hoping, but I couldn't bear the idea of bringing the virus into the house if I caught it on a plane. :(

Also, there's some articles emerging from Italy stating even young people are being brought to ICUs.
You'd have to be extremely unlucky for that to happen. Stick on a mask and latex gloves, wash hands in alcohol and there's fairly little chance.
jezzer
Posts: 1490
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:57 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by jezzer »

Just watching an expert on the virus talking and he says that the influenza viruses we commonly deal with are slightly more fatal than Covid 19 in cases where complications develop and hospitalisation is needed. There are far more cases of very light flu which " dilutes" greatly the mortality rate. But serious flu which provokes pneumonia for example is apparently more aggressive than Covid 19.
User avatar
happyhooker
Posts: 23124
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by happyhooker »

jezzer wrote:Just watching an expert on the virus talking and he says that the influenza viruses we commonly deal with are slightly more fatal than Covid 19 in cases where complications develop and hospitalisation is needed. There are far more cases of very light flu which " dilutes" greatly the mortality rate. But serious flu which provokes pneumonia for example is apparently more aggressive than Covid 19.
More aggressive and more deadly are very different issues.

Floppy, I can't even relate to your issue when it refers to the cross continental problems you have. It was tough enough for me when me and my 3 siblings all lived within decent travelling distance.

My point about making a little space for yourself every now and then, however brief, still stands.
jezzer
Posts: 1490
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:57 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by jezzer »

happyhooker wrote:
jezzer wrote:Just watching an expert on the virus talking and he says that the influenza viruses we commonly deal with are slightly more fatal than Covid 19 in cases where complications develop and hospitalisation is needed. There are far more cases of very light flu which " dilutes" greatly the mortality rate. But serious flu which provokes pneumonia for example is apparently more aggressive than Covid 19.
More aggressive and more deadly are very different issues.

Floppy, I can't even relate to your issue when it refers to the cross continental problems you have. It was tough enough for me when me and my 3 siblings all lived within decent travelling distance.

My point about making a little space for yourself every now and then, however brief, still stands.
I meant more deadly, which is what the professor said.
User avatar
happyhooker
Posts: 23124
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by happyhooker »

jezzer wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
jezzer wrote:Just watching an expert on the virus talking and he says that the influenza viruses we commonly deal with are slightly more fatal than Covid 19 in cases where complications develop and hospitalisation is needed. There are far more cases of very light flu which " dilutes" greatly the mortality rate. But serious flu which provokes pneumonia for example is apparently more aggressive than Covid 19.
More aggressive and more deadly are very different issues.

Floppy, I can't even relate to your issue when it refers to the cross continental problems you have. It was tough enough for me when me and my 3 siblings all lived within decent travelling distance.

My point about making a little space for yourself every now and then, however brief, still stands.
I meant more deadly, which is what the professor said.
But not what you said.

Edit, wrong thread for this shit. Apologies
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

happyhooker wrote:
jezzer wrote:Just watching an expert on the virus talking and he says that the influenza viruses we commonly deal with are slightly more fatal than Covid 19 in cases where complications develop and hospitalisation is needed. There are far more cases of very light flu which " dilutes" greatly the mortality rate. But serious flu which provokes pneumonia for example is apparently more aggressive than Covid 19.
More aggressive and more deadly are very different issues.

Floppy, I can't even relate to your issue when it refers to the cross continental problems you have. It was tough enough for me when me and my 3 siblings all lived within decent travelling distance.

My point about making a little space for yourself every now and then, however brief, still stands.
It wouldn't even be so bad if it wasn't for the potential 28 days later scenario we have going on.
Money is money, it can be rearned, sleep can cover exhaustion and coffee can mask it. I'd make redeyeing back and forth work.

f**king perfect storm coronavirus really fucks it all up. :lol: :frown:
User avatar
happyhooker
Posts: 23124
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by happyhooker »

Mate, you've been dealt a huge bowl of steaming shit.

Best of luck.
User avatar
Stevus55
Posts: 3324
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Stevus55 »

Reading Floppy’s experiences has set something gnawing at the back of my mind. I am a permanent emigrant and my brother and sister are both living abroad for the next few years at the very least. The thought of one of my parents coming down with a debilitating illness and none of us being there for them is a serious downer.

I already feel pretty guilty about moving so far away. I have two nieces over here and even though they’re not my kids, I’m seriously attached to them. Can’t even imagine what it’s like to have your kids piss off to the other side of the world for good.
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

happyhooker wrote:Mate, you've been dealt a huge bowl of steaming shit.

Best of luck.
Just had a horrific call with my GF about my inability to get home this weekend and a potential lockdown/quarantine keeping me away for even longer. Followed by some overbearing full on messages to my boss in Canada about what Covid kind've means for me and what my concerns are.
Gave into panic on both way too quickly, but what can ya do now.

Hope everyone stays safe during this holiday-virus season.
Nolanator
Posts: 38895
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: Dublin

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Nolanator »

I genuinely hope things work out as best they can Flops.

I've been anxious the last few days trying to sort out my GF leaving Prague and moving home. This virus has struck exactly when she's finishing her job and leaving.
Haven't slept well the last few days.

I was due to fly out on Sunday and then back with her on Monday, but Czech authorities are banning flights from several countries including the UK. She's decided to just go straight back to her folks in Dublin.

I'm so relieved to not have to travel. Feels selfish, but I really didn't want to go on a few planes and through several airports.
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

Nolanator wrote:I genuinely hope things work out as best they can Flops.

I've been anxious the last few days trying to sort out my GF leaving Prague and moving home. This virus has struck exactly when she's finishing her job and leaving.
Haven't slept well the last few days.

I was due to fly out on Sunday and then back with her on Monday, but Czech authorities are banning flights from several countries including the UK. She's decided to just go straight back to her folks in Dublin.

I'm so relieved to not have to travel. Feels selfish, but I really didn't want to go on a few planes and through several airports.
Ditto man.
This is unlike anything I've experienced.
User avatar
shabadoo
Posts: 1174
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by shabadoo »

Floppykid wrote:
happyhooker wrote:Mate, you've been dealt a huge bowl of steaming shit.

Best of luck.
Just had a horrific call with my GF about my inability to get home this weekend and a potential lockdown/quarantine keeping me away for even longer. Followed by some overbearing full on messages to my boss in Canada about what Covid kind've means for me and what my concerns are.
Gave into panic on both way too quickly, but what can ya do now.

Hope everyone stays safe during this holiday-virus season.
Hey FK. Went through something similar with my Da. Really feel for ye. It's a shit place to be and there are very few right choices.

Different for everyone, but for me, priority wise, it boiled down to, take care of the old man (even though he was a total dick).

Your bird will/should understand. I know its a pain in the hole but it's also part of life. Shit gets hard in relationships and you'll need to be able to deal with it. Hopefully you will come out of all of this stronger.

Finally...fudge work. It is the lowest priority for me. Jobs come and go and I'm sure you're a competent guy.

Finally, finally: you absolutely 100% need to spend some time every day just trying to take care of yourself. It can be a struggle to do it but it's so f**king important. If you don't you WILL hit a wall and shit will start to fall apart. You won't be able to take care of your Ma or anything else.

It is ok to do it. It will help you care for everyone a lot better if you give a little time to yourself.
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

shabadoo wrote:
Floppykid wrote:
happyhooker wrote:Mate, you've been dealt a huge bowl of steaming shit.

Best of luck.
Just had a horrific call with my GF about my inability to get home this weekend and a potential lockdown/quarantine keeping me away for even longer. Followed by some overbearing full on messages to my boss in Canada about what Covid kind've means for me and what my concerns are.
Gave into panic on both way too quickly, but what can ya do now.

Hope everyone stays safe during this holiday-virus season.
Hey FK. Went through something similar with my Da. Really feel for ye. It's a shit place to be and there are very few right choices.

Different for everyone, but for me, priority wise, it boiled down to, take care of the old man (even though he was a total dick).

Your bird will/should understand. I know its a pain in the hole but it's also part of life. Shit gets hard in relationships and you'll need to be able to deal with it. Hopefully you will come out of all of this stronger.

Finally...fudge work. It is the lowest priority for me. Jobs come and go and I'm sure you're a competent guy.

Finally, finally: you absolutely 100% need to spend some time every day just trying to take care of yourself. It can be a struggle to do it but it's so f**king important. If you don't you WILL hit a wall and shit will start to fall apart. You won't be able to take care of your Ma or anything else.

It is ok to do it. It will help you care for everyone a lot better if you give a little time to yourself.
Thank you.
User avatar
YOYO
Posts: 18477
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:44 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by YOYO »

Don’t understand why your bird giving you a hard time. You only have one mother. You’re hardly going to want to up and leave if she is very sick. Surely your bird would understand that.
User avatar
shabadoo
Posts: 1174
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by shabadoo »

YOYO wrote:Don’t understand why your bird giving you a hard time. You only have one mother. You’re hardly going to want to up and leave if she is very sick. Surely your bird would understand that.
Birds be crazy...but also birds be awesome.
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

YOYO wrote:Don’t understand why your bird giving you a hard time. You only have one mother. You’re hardly going to want to up and leave if she is very sick. Surely your bird would understand that.
She does understand, we've just been apart for a long time, and it's more horribly upsetting to have to be apart for her.
I also don't think a lot of people over there quite grasp how bad things are over there (yet!).

In fairness, I'm out of the loop but a few people I know my age and younger are going about their social/night lives as if nothing's happening. x(
Nolanator
Posts: 38895
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: Dublin

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Nolanator »

shabadoo wrote:Birds be crazy...but also birds be awesome.
:lol:
Excellent summary!
User avatar
AND-y
Posts: 16225
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by AND-y »

Well I am guessing current events are really not helping peoples anxiety. I was sick and self isolating over the past week and though I am starting to feel better now I have been and am worried about having seen my parents a few days before showing any symptoms (they still seem okay right now).

This might be a better space for sharing such fears than the main thread as that has turned into the usual shit though I would remind that if you disagree with anyone on here to be pleasant about it or preferably take it to another thread.
User avatar
Winnie
Posts: 16605
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 10:18 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Winnie »

AND-y wrote:Well I am guessing current events are really not helping peoples anxiety. I was sick and self isolating over the past week and though I am starting to feel better now I have been and am worried about having seen my parents a few days before showing any symptoms (they still seem okay right now).

This might be a better space for sharing such fears than the main thread as that has turned into the usual shit though I would remind that if you disagree with anyone on here to be pleasant about it or preferably take it to another thread.
Well said
Nolanator
Posts: 38895
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: Dublin

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Nolanator »

My missus is back in Ireland. Very relieved. Now I'm just worried about my octo- and nonagenarian grandparents.

I'd imagine that lots of people will feel slightly under the weather now, but completely freak out that they have Covid-19. Can't be good for anxiety levels.

Hope you're and the folks are all good, Andy. :thumbup:
User avatar
GWO2
Posts: 3015
Joined: Fri May 04, 2012 7:12 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by GWO2 »

My wife 72 and myself 73 have both got coughs, but believe it`s cold so we are self isolating. It does add to the worry and stress though as I know my wife has got to the stage of her Alzheimer`s where I am positive she would not be able to manage without me. It tends to drag you down if you dwell on it.
User avatar
True Blue
Posts: 11969
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: Austin, TX

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by True Blue »

Stevus55 wrote:Reading Floppy’s experiences has set something gnawing at the back of my mind. I am a permanent emigrant and my brother and sister are both living abroad for the next few years at the very least. The thought of one of my parents coming down with a debilitating illness and none of us being there for them is a serious downer.

I already feel pretty guilty about moving so far away. I have two nieces over here and even though they’re not my kids, I’m seriously attached to them. Can’t even imagine what it’s like to have your kids piss off to the other side of the world for good.
Well now you just making me feel bad. My old man is in NZ and his two sons are in the UK and US.

Just occurred to me I may not even be able to visit him if he gets sick. I have a greencard but am not a US citizen so I may not be able to renter the country should I leave the way things are going.
User avatar
True Blue
Posts: 11969
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: Austin, TX

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by True Blue »

GWO2 wrote:My wife 72 and myself 73 have both got coughs, but believe it`s cold so we are self isolating. It does add to the worry and stress though as I know my wife has got to the stage of her Alzheimer`s where I am positive she would not be able to manage without me. It tends to drag you down if you dwell on it.
All the best bro. Remember a lot of cases are mild so aren't in the official statistics so it's not as grim as some think.
ovalball
Posts: 12139
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by ovalball »

My anxiety levels have definitely increased considerably. I'm 67 and I have 3 sisters, 69, 71 and 73, and a brother, 60, all of whom I'm very close to, and worried about. My mum is 96 and lives in sheltered housing - 4 of us take turns to go into her twice a day. God knows what we'll do if the place she lives, goes into lockdown. 2 of my sisters are already isolating, except for visiting Mum. I've cut back on socialising and plan to isolate from this weekend - it will be extremely hard with 6 Grandkids (2 months, 3 years, 5 years, 9, 12 and 13.

And I've started sneezing/runny nose this evening - I think it's just something that has irritated my nasal passage - but it's got me worried - felt like I was starting to have an anxiety attack earlier this evening.

On the plus side - we've just had a lovely new Garden room finished, so at least we've got a really nice place to hunker down in - hopefully summer arrives early this year.
User avatar
EverReady
Posts: 34377
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by EverReady »

Just isolate like a motherfücker. Use Skype and all those things to stay in touch. My best mate moved to Spain many years ago and we used to have whole nights listening to music, watching stuff, jawing, playing games and laughing our holes off. That went on for years
User avatar
Theflier
Posts: 2566
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2016 3:35 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Theflier »

Floppykid wrote:I'm in a bit of a grit my teeth and bear it/bizarre/horrific time in my life too.

Mother's lung cancer has spread all over really it seems, it was "just" a metastasis on the brain that they resected and treated with radiation, only for it to come back again very quickly and for her to get it treated with a fairly severe localised radiation.
She's still there as a person but out of focus, her body is breaking down from everything and I'm spending most of my day carrying her around the house, trying not to break down myself. I'm pretty much working 12-14 hour a day between taking care of her and remote work. There are times I get so frustrated I almost want to scream in her face (I never let my frustration boil over) because of how she cant respond or move right or needs almost everything done for her. I cant focus on anything, I'm always exhausted, I have no motivation and I'm gaining huge amounts of weight.

Then I remember what unimaginable terror she's facing, who she is and the pain she's experiencing and I feel shame and guilt and dread.

It's also in her spine now too, which makes the pain unbearable and it's only getting worse.

She still holds on to her dignity in any way she can, has moments/behaviors of denial of what's going to happen which makes it so much harder.

She still likes to buy nice things for herself whenever she can and when she still takes the time to put them on and look her best, she spends her time looking through her new purchases for the things shes going to wear. It's so sad I struggle not to break down as it's happening.

My partner needs me to return to Canada and I need to to keep my job. I was going to go and come back at semi regular intervals, regardless of the cost. I cant break her heart by leaving until she's bound for the deathbed, I've been with her in the ambulance during pulmonary oedema, I've heard the rattle and I don't want that to be the next thing I see of her. Part of me even felt slight relief that I may miss the next horrible acute medical event, as shameful as I feel saying that.

f**king Coronavirus has shat all over that and now I feel completely paralysed and trapped. She gets that and it's over far sooner and I'd feel responsible potentially bringing it back. But I also risk so much staying here.

It's also why I find some people's comments about the coronavirus being "whatever, it'll only kill the weak/old" online (and here it seems) horrifyingly callous, I hope it's ignorance.
My mother died when I was 20, about 8 years back now, I remember the day she came back from expecting an all clear, to its 3-4 months at best.
Luckily for her, she had about 24 hours between being cognitive to being drugged into oblivion, took some time away from her, but she didn't have to really feel that end fear which I'm thankful for.

I hated the feeling of being around and wanted out as well.

Tldr; If it helps, life goes on, it's still good, me and the GF are hoping to start popping out some kids next year, had great meal with my grandmother, uncle, aunt, sister and partner today talking our predictions of corona.
Nolanator
Posts: 38895
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: Dublin

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Nolanator »

ovalball wrote:My anxiety levels have definitely increased considerably. I'm 67 and I have 3 sisters, 69, 71 and 73, and a brother, 60, all of whom I'm very close to, and worried about. My mum is 96 and lives in sheltered housing - 4 of us take turns to go into her twice a day. God knows what we'll do if the place she lives, goes into lockdown. 2 of my sisters are already isolating, except for visiting Mum. I've cut back on socialising and plan to isolate from this weekend - it will be extremely hard with 6 Grandkids (2 months, 3 years, 5 years, 9, 12 and 13.
My grandparents (94: failing sight and arthritic, and 97: legally blind and losing touch with reality, both very limited mobility) live in a nursing home which shut its doors just over a week ago.
The other day my grandad fell and has had to go into hospital for surgery on his hip. My mum and her siblings haven't seen him since before he fell and haven't had direct contact with him yet. He's recovering, according to the doctors, but he hasn't yet checked his phone to reply to messages from my mum.

I think she's crawling up the walls and my sister and I are both abroad so can only give comfort by phone. It's a bit shit. :((
bimboman
Posts: 67837
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by bimboman »

ovalball wrote:My anxiety levels have definitely increased considerably. I'm 67 and I have 3 sisters, 69, 71 and 73, and a brother, 60, all of whom I'm very close to, and worried about. My mum is 96 and lives in sheltered housing - 4 of us take turns to go into her twice a day. God knows what we'll do if the place she lives, goes into lockdown. 2 of my sisters are already isolating, except for visiting Mum. I've cut back on socialising and plan to isolate from this weekend - it will be extremely hard with 6 Grandkids (2 months, 3 years, 5 years, 9, 12 and 13.

And I've started sneezing/runny nose this evening - I think it's just something that has irritated my nasal passage - but it's got me worried - felt like I was starting to have an anxiety attack earlier this evening.

On the plus side - we've just had a lovely new Garden room finished, so at least we've got a really nice place to hunker down in - hopefully summer arrives early this year.

Sorry for the anxiety, but the family success you have hopefully stands u in good stead.
User avatar
assfly
Posts: 10312
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: Kenya

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by assfly »

This might not be the best forum to discuss this, but does anybody have any experience in using psychedelics in the treatment of anxiety and depression?
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

EverReady wrote:Just isolate like a motherfücker. Use Skype and all those things to stay in touch. My best mate moved to Spain many years ago and we used to have whole nights listening to music, watching stuff, jawing, playing games and laughing our holes off. That went on for years
Stop doing yokes with your mate on skype, now is a time for sacrifice.
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

GWO2 wrote:My wife 72 and myself 73 have both got coughs, but believe it`s cold so we are self isolating. It does add to the worry and stress though as I know my wife has got to the stage of her Alzheimer`s where I am positive she would not be able to manage without me. It tends to drag you down if you dwell on it.
That's rough man. I see the stuff going on with my mom and how it takes it out of my Dad.
Just keep one foot in front of the other and enjoy the moments you can.
User avatar
Floppykid
Posts: 30932
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: SOB>Todd

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

Theflier wrote:
Floppykid wrote:I'm in a bit of a grit my teeth and bear it/bizarre/horrific time in my life too.

Mother's lung cancer has spread all over really it seems, it was "just" a metastasis on the brain that they resected and treated with radiation, only for it to come back again very quickly and for her to get it treated with a fairly severe localised radiation.
She's still there as a person but out of focus, her body is breaking down from everything and I'm spending most of my day carrying her around the house, trying not to break down myself. I'm pretty much working 12-14 hour a day between taking care of her and remote work. There are times I get so frustrated I almost want to scream in her face (I never let my frustration boil over) because of how she cant respond or move right or needs almost everything done for her. I cant focus on anything, I'm always exhausted, I have no motivation and I'm gaining huge amounts of weight.

Then I remember what unimaginable terror she's facing, who she is and the pain she's experiencing and I feel shame and guilt and dread.

It's also in her spine now too, which makes the pain unbearable and it's only getting worse.

She still holds on to her dignity in any way she can, has moments/behaviors of denial of what's going to happen which makes it so much harder.

She still likes to buy nice things for herself whenever she can and when she still takes the time to put them on and look her best, she spends her time looking through her new purchases for the things shes going to wear. It's so sad I struggle not to break down as it's happening.

My partner needs me to return to Canada and I need to to keep my job. I was going to go and come back at semi regular intervals, regardless of the cost. I cant break her heart by leaving until she's bound for the deathbed, I've been with her in the ambulance during pulmonary oedema, I've heard the rattle and I don't want that to be the next thing I see of her. Part of me even felt slight relief that I may miss the next horrible acute medical event, as shameful as I feel saying that.

f**king Coronavirus has shat all over that and now I feel completely paralysed and trapped. She gets that and it's over far sooner and I'd feel responsible potentially bringing it back. But I also risk so much staying here.

It's also why I find some people's comments about the coronavirus being "whatever, it'll only kill the weak/old" online (and here it seems) horrifyingly callous, I hope it's ignorance.
My mother died when I was 20, about 8 years back now, I remember the day she came back from expecting an all clear, to its 3-4 months at best.
Luckily for her, she had about 24 hours between being cognitive to being drugged into oblivion, took some time away from her, but she didn't have to really feel that end fear which I'm thankful for.

I hated the feeling of being around and wanted out as well.

Tldr; If it helps, life goes on, it's still good, me and the GF are hoping to start popping out some kids next year, had great meal with my grandmother, uncle, aunt, sister and partner today talking our predictions of corona.
Yeah, this whole thing, including Corona, has both really given me perspective on mortality and how precious life is.
User avatar
YOYO
Posts: 18477
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:44 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by YOYO »

assfly wrote:This might not be the best forum to discuss this, but does anybody have any experience in using psychedelics in the treatment of anxiety and depression?
I’m doubting that many people on here have experience of treating their anxiety and depression with psychedelics. I did see a documentary along the lines of US scientists research into the use of psychedelics for the treatment of mental health conditions. The docu was based on research performed in the 70’s. It might be on Netflix.

Are you asking from a self medicating perspective or from a professional guided perspective?
User avatar
YOYO
Posts: 18477
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:44 pm

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by YOYO »

Winnie I read from your posts on here that you have health anxiety. This must be a particularly difficult time for people with this type of anxiety condition. How are things going for you?
User avatar
HKCJ
Posts: 7760
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Location: Auld Reekie

Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by HKCJ »

Best wishes to all those suffering from anxieties and difficulties. My wife is feeling terribly isolated with her family on the other side of the world in NZ and SA. I’ve tried to put things in perspective to her that things like WhatsApp and Skype have made it easier but I also get that in times like these you want your family around which is what I have so also feeling terribly guilty that we made the decision to move here.
Post Reply