PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

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naki
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by naki »

Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.
Really sad news, mate. Condolences to you and your family.
Nolanator
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Nolanator »

Sorry to hear that, Floppy. Been a very long road for you. Best wishes.
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nuffsaid
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by nuffsaid »

Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.
Sorry to hear that Floppy. It’s hard to take. It sounds like you were there at the end though? It’s good if you were. I was an hour late so that made me angry for a while. Go well, either way.
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camroc1
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by camroc1 »

Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.
Sorry to hear that Floppy. It was good you were here.

RIP
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redderneck
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by redderneck »

Mind yourself. RIP.
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Kiwias
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Kiwias »

Please forgive me but I just need to vent a bit.

I had a call from my son and it seems that my dil is in a very bad place.

Background: when she gave birth to the twins (now 3 and a half years old), they discovered a tumour at the base of her spine (they said it was ependymoma) that could cause major problems. They removed 50% by surgery about three years ago but could not take 100% because of the risk of injury to the spine. The remaining bit is not growing or expanding at all, but the continued pressure is restricting her movement and making her very easy to tire. Not to mention the anxiety of carrying this time bomb.

It had been causing mood swings for a while but the lockdown seems to have aggravated it to the stage that -- in my son's words "the aggression, the abuse, and the utter lack of gratitude is driving him crazy."

She will be loving and caring with the grandkids and the neck minit be screaming "get away from me, get out, find another family who wants you cause I don't" and the sort. The kids are suffering. If my son or her parents, who live close, attempt to moderate, she turns the anger on them. It is so bad now that several of her closest friends have discussed it with my son.

She is aware of what she does when the mood hits but serial fatigue and frustration just overwhelm her and she can't control the rage. She has bi-annual MRI checkups on the tumour and this now includes a brain scan that shows no abnormalities.

I think we are all considering an intervention with her therapist and psychiatrist, with a view that she may be bipolar. I'm so f**king far away and feel utterly helpless. When I asked my lad if there was anything I could do, he said, "just be available in case I need to chat and vent." The first thought I has was "Thank god I'm sober now".

You know, it does help to vent.
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booji boy
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by booji boy »

Best wishes Kiwias.
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Kiwias
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Kiwias »

booji boy wrote:Best wishes Kiwias.
Thanks, booj
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jdogscoop
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by jdogscoop »

Sounds like a crazy, Kiwias.

Reckon your son is better off scooping up the kids and getting TF out of there.
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jdogscoop
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by jdogscoop »

naki wrote:
Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.
Really sad news, mate. Condolences to you and your family.
Sorry for your loss, Floppykid.
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Kiwias
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Kiwias »

jdogscoop wrote:Sounds like a crazy, Kiwias.

Reckon your son is better off scooping up the kids and getting TF out of there.
Yes. Either her parents or my ex have spare rooms and live close by, so the kids could attend school and kindy from either.
Burke's Boot
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Burke's Boot »

Idle hands are the devil's playground and all that so have been doing a bit of Ubering on the side. Highly recommend it due to the flexibility of going online and off when you feel like it and at least in Newy (Newcastle, NSW) have found the bulk of people great to deal with and it seems people like me with a 5 star rating after around 100 jobs and even get tipped with alcohol.
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Floppykid
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

Kiwias wrote:Please forgive me but I just need to vent a bit.

I had a call from my son and it seems that my dil is in a very bad place.

Background: when she gave birth to the twins (now 3 and a half years old), they discovered a tumour at the base of her spine (they said it was ependymoma) that could cause major problems. They removed 50% by surgery about three years ago but could not take 100% because of the risk of injury to the spine. The remaining bit is not growing or expanding at all, but the continued pressure is restricting her movement and making her very easy to tire. Not to mention the anxiety of carrying this time bomb.

It had been causing mood swings for a while but the lockdown seems to have aggravated it to the stage that -- in my son's words "the aggression, the abuse, and the utter lack of gratitude is driving him crazy."

She will be loving and caring with the grandkids and the neck minit be screaming "get away from me, get out, find another family who wants you cause I don't" and the sort. The kids are suffering. If my son or her parents, who live close, attempt to moderate, she turns the anger on them. It is so bad now that several of her closest friends have discussed it with my son.

She is aware of what she does when the mood hits but serial fatigue and frustration just overwhelm her and she can't control the rage. She has bi-annual MRI checkups on the tumour and this now includes a brain scan that shows no abnormalities.

I think we are all considering an intervention with her therapist and psychiatrist, with a view that she may be bipolar. I'm so f**king far away and feel utterly helpless. When I asked my lad if there was anything I could do, he said, "just be available in case I need to chat and vent." The first thought I has was "Thank god I'm sober now".

You know, it does help to vent.
There are some parallels to what happened with my Mom here. I'll try find time to write more on how I handled it and how it might relate to your dil's and her family.
It is indeed so good you are sober for things like this.
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Duff Paddy
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Duff Paddy »

Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.
Sorry to hear that Floppy. Condolences.
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Gavin Duffy
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Gavin Duffy »

Floppykid wrote:My Mom passed the early hours of Sunday morning.
Her death was peaceful and in her sleep, thanks to the wonderful hospice staff, but nothing prepares you to see someone you love get so small and so faint before just stopping.

I'm in a bit of a daze getting away from the wake for a bit.
Sorry for your loss, floppy.
towny
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by towny »

Kiwias wrote:Please forgive me but I just need to vent a bit.

I had a call from my son and it seems that my dil is in a very bad place.

Background: when she gave birth to the twins (now 3 and a half years old), they discovered a tumour at the base of her spine (they said it was ependymoma) that could cause major problems. They removed 50% by surgery about three years ago but could not take 100% because of the risk of injury to the spine. The remaining bit is not growing or expanding at all, but the continued pressure is restricting her movement and making her very easy to tire. Not to mention the anxiety of carrying this time bomb.

It had been causing mood swings for a while but the lockdown seems to have aggravated it to the stage that -- in my son's words "the aggression, the abuse, and the utter lack of gratitude is driving him crazy."

She will be loving and caring with the grandkids and the neck minit be screaming "get away from me, get out, find another family who wants you cause I don't" and the sort. The kids are suffering. If my son or her parents, who live close, attempt to moderate, she turns the anger on them. It is so bad now that several of her closest friends have discussed it with my son.

She is aware of what she does when the mood hits but serial fatigue and frustration just overwhelm her and she can't control the rage. She has bi-annual MRI checkups on the tumour and this now includes a brain scan that shows no abnormalities.

I think we are all considering an intervention with her therapist and psychiatrist, with a view that she may be bipolar. I'm so f**king far away and feel utterly helpless. When I asked my lad if there was anything I could do, he said, "just be available in case I need to chat and vent." The first thought I has was "Thank god I'm sober now".

You know, it does help to vent.
Mate. I’m speechless.
towny
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by towny »

All the best Floppy. I’ve got no good words for you either. I’m just sorry you had to go through this.
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Kiwias
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Kiwias »

Floppykid wrote:
Kiwias wrote:Please forgive me but I just need to vent a bit.

I had a call from my son and it seems that my dil is in a very bad place.

Background: when she gave birth to the twins (now 3 and a half years old), they discovered a tumour at the base of her spine (they said it was ependymoma) that could cause major problems. They removed 50% by surgery about three years ago but could not take 100% because of the risk of injury to the spine. The remaining bit is not growing or expanding at all, but the continued pressure is restricting her movement and making her very easy to tire. Not to mention the anxiety of carrying this time bomb.

It had been causing mood swings for a while but the lockdown seems to have aggravated it to the stage that -- in my son's words "the aggression, the abuse, and the utter lack of gratitude is driving him crazy."

She will be loving and caring with the grandkids and the neck minit be screaming "get away from me, get out, find another family who wants you cause I don't" and the sort. The kids are suffering. If my son or her parents, who live close, attempt to moderate, she turns the anger on them. It is so bad now that several of her closest friends have discussed it with my son.

She is aware of what she does when the mood hits but serial fatigue and frustration just overwhelm her and she can't control the rage. She has bi-annual MRI checkups on the tumour and this now includes a brain scan that shows no abnormalities.

I think we are all considering an intervention with her therapist and psychiatrist, with a view that she may be bipolar. I'm so f**king far away and feel utterly helpless. When I asked my lad if there was anything I could do, he said, "just be available in case I need to chat and vent." The first thought I has was "Thank god I'm sober now".

You know, it does help to vent.
There are some parallels to what happened with my Mom here. I'll try find time to write more on how I handled it and how it might relate to your dil's and her family.
It is indeed so good you are sober for things like this.
Thanks, Floppy, and condolences on your loss.
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danthefan
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by danthefan »

My uncle has an enormous alcohol problem and his life has gone totally off the rails. Has essentially lost his job for drinking at work, caught drink driving recently, money problems, his family at the end of their tether, latest stunt was going out and getting shit faced, stealing a bike, going over the handlebars breaking his arm, and then sleeping rough until he had sense enough to get medical attention.

Can you do anything with people in this state?



And floppy - sorry to hear. Hope you're holding up alright.
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GWO2
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by GWO2 »

Bloody hell, I`ve been doing pretty well lately. Now seeing that Piers Morgan interviewing Vinnie Jones has really crushed me with what the future holds, seeing him breaking down and crying describing his wife`s passing has put me in floods of tears again.
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He Man Rugger Pints
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by He Man Rugger Pints »

Sorry to hear that Floppy. My mother died after a fairly quick illness about two months back, kinda went on autopilot as I had a kid about two weeks after but fudge me did it catch up with me the last few days. Anyone have any experience with grief counselling and thoughts on it? Need to try manage this in a way that I'm not just burying it and have it cause me to blow in a few months/years.
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redderneck
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by redderneck »

He Man Rugger Pints wrote: Tue Nov 10, 2020 4:47 pm Sorry to hear that Floppy. My mother died after a fairly quick illness about two months back, kinda went on autopilot as I had a kid about two weeks after but fudge me did it catch up with me the last few days. Anyone have any experience with grief counselling and thoughts on it? Need to try manage this in a way that I'm not just burying it and have it cause me to blow in a few months/years.
Sorry to hear it. Not direct experience and can't give detail on it but my Mrs took advantage of an employee welfare support scheme at work a few years back to deal with some very unresolved grief over the sudden passing of her twin brother nearly 20 years ago. Found it hugely helpful.

She had mulled over making the phone call for - literally - years; but is very glad she did. We both are. Go for it.
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Floppykid
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

Kiwias wrote: Mon Aug 10, 2020 11:53 pm
Floppykid wrote:
Kiwias wrote:Please forgive me but I just need to vent a bit.

I had a call from my son and it seems that my dil is in a very bad place.

Background: when she gave birth to the twins (now 3 and a half years old), they discovered a tumour at the base of her spine (they said it was ependymoma) that could cause major problems. They removed 50% by surgery about three years ago but could not take 100% because of the risk of injury to the spine. The remaining bit is not growing or expanding at all, but the continued pressure is restricting her movement and making her very easy to tire. Not to mention the anxiety of carrying this time bomb.

It had been causing mood swings for a while but the lockdown seems to have aggravated it to the stage that -- in my son's words "the aggression, the abuse, and the utter lack of gratitude is driving him crazy."

She will be loving and caring with the grandkids and the neck minit be screaming "get away from me, get out, find another family who wants you cause I don't" and the sort. The kids are suffering. If my son or her parents, who live close, attempt to moderate, she turns the anger on them. It is so bad now that several of her closest friends have discussed it with my son.

She is aware of what she does when the mood hits but serial fatigue and frustration just overwhelm her and she can't control the rage. She has bi-annual MRI checkups on the tumour and this now includes a brain scan that shows no abnormalities.

I think we are all considering an intervention with her therapist and psychiatrist, with a view that she may be bipolar. I'm so f**king far away and feel utterly helpless. When I asked my lad if there was anything I could do, he said, "just be available in case I need to chat and vent." The first thought I has was "Thank god I'm sober now".

You know, it does help to vent.
There are some parallels to what happened with my Mom here. I'll try find time to write more on how I handled it and how it might relate to your dil's and her family.
It is indeed so good you are sober for things like this.
Thanks, Floppy, and condolences on your loss.
My Mom, for different reasons in a lot of respects, had similar reactions to us and the world during her illness. It's really important she gets some form of therapy, because while her close family will weather most storms intervention for the mind is just as vital as anything else.

As someone who was away for a good deal of it myself, all you can really do is make yourself as available as humanly possible for your family. Accept the circumstances really do limit what it is you can do (particularly in this awful pandemic world we live in).
Your son recognises that I'm sure.

I'm sorry if this is incredibly glib, especially after such a long time, I've just struggled to really conceptualize things. I can see the parallels of helplessness and I try to come up with something except endure and reach out to professional help, but I really can't come up with anything insightful beyond that.
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Floppykid
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Floppykid »

He Man Rugger Pints wrote: Tue Nov 10, 2020 4:47 pm Sorry to hear that Floppy. My mother died after a fairly quick illness about two months back, kinda went on autopilot as I had a kid about two weeks after but fudge me did it catch up with me the last few days. Anyone have any experience with grief counselling and thoughts on it? Need to try manage this in a way that I'm not just burying it and have it cause me to blow in a few months/years.
Yup, the autopilot and disassociation. The brain and mind has a weird and effective way of protecting itself during times of trauma. Just getting you through.

It's still catching up with me regularly, nigh on constantly really. A real sorrow that if I delve into the horror of what happened I get just as bad as I ever was about it. I am seeing a grief counsellor myself and it's important I do. I need a space to express the sorrow and learn methods to control what is probably PTSD of some sort tbh. For a long time all I've had is cancer memories really and I have to try and reconnect with my mother in some way again. If I just constantly turn away from everything and suppress everything I don't think that will happen in a safe way.
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Leinsterman
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by Leinsterman »

Very late here but very sorry for your loss Floppy and also HMRP.
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EverReady
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Re: PR Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal

Post by EverReady »

Yeah sorry to hear that He-Man. Good luck with it all
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