Planet Rugby Forum

As hard as it is for all of you, you tried your absolute best in what are the most difficult of conditions with regards to international travel. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope your mum is free from hip pain soon. Kia kaha.

jambanja

That is a tough one for you. Kia kaha.

Cheers guys

jambanja wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 3:04 am Cheers guys

Vent on!

I'm currently talking daily with a mate in DC who is suicidal again (Mentioned previously). He's managed to torpedo his entire local support network via his anxiety issues.

I'm working hard to keep him going - he's attempted suicide before.

Grim

mat

One day he will thank you.

Geez Jamanja, I really feel for you, my bro. I hope you and your family keep communicating with each other through this tough time.

Tehui wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 8:07 am Geez Jamanja, I really feel for you, my bro. I hope you and your family keep communicating with each other through this tough time.

Cheers mate, yep we speak most day, although we’re across three continents, the internet has made it possible to have great comms and it helps we all get on really well and for the most part always have

Kiwias wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 4:44 am mat

One day he will thank you.

He is a good friend. We made a pact and I won't give up on him

Munster-fogs wrote: ↑Tue Dec 22, 2020 9:22 pm Never posted on this thread before but I've been struggling a bit lately and don't know where or who else to talk to.

I became a father at the beginning of September and the first few weeks were intensely stressful. Nothing can prepare you. I have never before felt the overwhelming sense of constant anxiety for those initial few weeks in particular. Things have improved a bit, but unfortunately he's had a bad dose of colic and things have never really stabilized. I went through a period of acceptance and just got on with it, but lately things have just taken it's toll and I'm increasingly becoming deflated with it all and almost dread leaving work in the evening to go home to a a screaming 4 month old. I guess I thought by 4 months things would have eased up a bit.

The night's are hell. The lack of sleep is crippling. I know I should take the boards general advice and grow a spine, but i'm just struggling to at the moment. Has anyone else experienced something similar, and how or what did you do to cope?

Any update? Hopefully things have eased up.

feckwanker wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:28 pm

Munster-fogs wrote: ↑Tue Dec 22, 2020 9:22 pm Never posted on this thread before but I've been struggling a bit lately and don't know where or who else to talk to.

I became a father at the beginning of September and the first few weeks were intensely stressful. Nothing can prepare you. I have never before felt the overwhelming sense of constant anxiety for those initial few weeks in particular. Things have improved a bit, but unfortunately he's had a bad dose of colic and things have never really stabilized. I went through a period of acceptance and just got on with it, but lately things have just taken it's toll and I'm increasingly becoming deflated with it all and almost dread leaving work in the evening to go home to a a screaming 4 month old. I guess I thought by 4 months things would have eased up a bit.

The night's are hell. The lack of sleep is crippling. I know I should take the boards general advice and grow a spine, but i'm just struggling to at the moment. Has anyone else experienced something similar, and how or what did you do to cope?

Any update? Hopefully things have eased up.

I was in that position too. My coping mechanism was a couple of months later, to get my wife pregnant again with #2


Having a new born baby and a 15 month old , was interesting...
Unsure if I learnt much though because after a slightly bigger gap, we had #3 so had at one stage a newborn, a 26 month old, and a 41 month old.

A Coping mechanism I found helpful, was instead of dreading coming back from work , when you get home you out the baby in a harness on your chest and let your wife get some kip. Baby should sleep, you can watch telly or PlayStation, and after your wife has some rest she will be better able to do the night shift and feeding. You get w bit of A gym workout too if you do some chores whilst carrying the baby, I used to do laundry and dishwasher and sterilise the bottles.

Oh, and regarding the steriliser - don’t do what my bird did and put your gumshield in there, bloody thing ended up curled flat like a bent washer and I couldn’t use it any more, it was a proper dentist fitted job at £80 or whatever !!

feckwanker wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:28 pm

Munster-fogs wrote: ↑Tue Dec 22, 2020 9:22 pm Never posted on this thread before but I've been struggling a bit lately and don't know where or who else to talk to.

I became a father at the beginning of September and the first few weeks were intensely stressful. Nothing can prepare you. I have never before felt the overwhelming sense of constant anxiety for those initial few weeks in particular. Things have improved a bit, but unfortunately he's had a bad dose of colic and things have never really stabilized. I went through a period of acceptance and just got on with it, but lately things have just taken it's toll and I'm increasingly becoming deflated with it all and almost dread leaving work in the evening to go home to a a screaming 4 month old. I guess I thought by 4 months things would have eased up a bit.

The night's are hell. The lack of sleep is crippling. I know I should take the boards general advice and grow a spine, but i'm just struggling to at the moment. Has anyone else experienced something similar, and how or what did you do to cope?

Any update? Hopefully things have eased up.

Thanks for asking. Things have actually improved considerably in the last few weeks. We had a good Christmas and he appears to have come out of the leap he was in (which lasted 5 weeks and was miserable) and the colic seems to have disappeared too which is fantastic. Now that I'm at home all day because of lockdown we're in a routine and for the first time since he was born I'm genuinely happy with things. He's a different baby to even just a few weeks ago and is full of smiles which makes things easier too.

He still has issues self soothing at night but we've started sleep training (the timed interval method) and we've seen steady progress every night so hopefully that'll continue. It's amazing how things can turn around in such a short space of time. I honestly couldn't see it a few weeks ago.

Munster-fogs wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 4:08 pm

feckwanker wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:28 pm

Munster-fogs wrote: ↑Tue Dec 22, 2020 9:22 pm Never posted on this thread before but I've been struggling a bit lately and don't know where or who else to talk to.

I became a father at the beginning of September and the first few weeks were intensely stressful. Nothing can prepare you. I have never before felt the overwhelming sense of constant anxiety for those initial few weeks in particular. Things have improved a bit, but unfortunately he's had a bad dose of colic and things have never really stabilized. I went through a period of acceptance and just got on with it, but lately things have just taken it's toll and I'm increasingly becoming deflated with it all and almost dread leaving work in the evening to go home to a a screaming 4 month old. I guess I thought by 4 months things would have eased up a bit.

The night's are hell. The lack of sleep is crippling. I know I should take the boards general advice and grow a spine, but i'm just struggling to at the moment. Has anyone else experienced something similar, and how or what did you do to cope?

Any update? Hopefully things have eased up.

Thanks for asking. Things have actually improved considerably in the last few weeks. We had a good Christmas and he appears to have come out of the leap he was in (which lasted 5 weeks and was miserable) and the colic seems to have disappeared too which is fantastic. Now that I'm at home all day because of lockdown we're in a routine and for the first time since he was born I'm genuinely happy with things. He's a different baby to even just a few weeks ago and is full of smiles which makes things easier too.

He still has issues self soothing at night but we've started sleep training (the timed interval method) and we've seen steady progress every night so hopefully that'll continue. It's amazing how things can turn around in such a short space of time. I honestly couldn't see it a few weeks ago.

Delighted for you!

Colic sounds like hell. Had our first in October and the first few weeks are like nothing I've ever experienced, I felt utterly inept and the lack of sleep does nothing for anyone's general demeanor. It's gotten waayyyy better since then and we're in a nice routine (touch wood) but I totally get how sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture now.

Pat the Ex Mat wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:15 pm

Kiwias wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 4:44 am mat

One day he will thank you.

He is a good friend. We made a pact and I won't give up on him

jambanja wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 8:52 am

Tehui wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 8:07 am Geez Jamanja, I really feel for you, my bro. I hope you and your family keep communicating with each other through this tough time.

Cheers mate, yep we speak most day, although we’re across three continents, the internet has made it possible to have great comms and it helps we all get on really well and for the most part always have

Sorry for your loss mate. Tough situation at any time but the covid travel restrictions make it that much worse. All the best to you and your family.

My second daughter was born at 27w 5d, 8 days ago. So definitely feeling anxious as hell as she fights in the hospital. She's doing well though, 29w tomorrow and breathing well and has a nice strong cry. Obviously has a road ahead of her (hopefully!) but she's a fighter.

True Blue wrote: ↑Fri Jan 15, 2021 5:13 am My second daughter was born at 27w 5d, 8 days ago. So definitely feeling anxious as hell as she fights in the hospital. She's doing well though, 29w tomorrow and breathing well and has a nice strong cry. Obviously has a road ahead of her (hopefully!) but she's a fighter.

I’m sure she’s going to be great, hope it all goes well

True Blue wrote: ↑Fri Jan 15, 2021 5:13 am My second daughter was born at 27w 5d, 8 days ago. So definitely feeling anxious as hell as she fights in the hospital. She's doing well though, 29w tomorrow and breathing well and has a nice strong cry. Obviously has a road ahead of her (hopefully!) but she's a fighter.

Congratulations

Pat the Ex Mat wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:15 pm

Kiwias wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 4:44 am mat

One day he will thank you.

He is a good friend. We made a pact and I won't give up on him

He’s got the best bloke in his corner, but it must be tough on you.

Nice one, TB. Friend had one recently at 26 weeks during lockdown who is doing very well. All the best.

mr bungle wrote: ↑Fri Jan 15, 2021 8:17 am

Pat the Ex Mat wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:15 pm

Kiwias wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 4:44 am mat

One day he will thank you.

He is a good friend. We made a pact and I won't give up on him

He’s got the best bloke in his corner, but it must be tough on you.

I'm letting him vent at me via messenger. It's rough but it helps him

Cheers

True Blue wrote: ↑Fri Jan 15, 2021 5:13 am My second daughter was born at 27w 5d, 8 days ago. So definitely feeling anxious as hell as she fights in the hospital. She's doing well though, 29w tomorrow and breathing well and has a nice strong cry. Obviously has a road ahead of her (hopefully!) but she's a fighter.

Congrats!