Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

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Blackrock Bullet
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Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Blackrock Bullet »

http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/t ... WJCHq7ctfl
She was sent a horrible message by a man she went on a Tinder date with last week - but instead of letting the experience destroy her self esteem, she turned it into an opportunity to call out sexist body-shaming and encourage women to celebrate their looks.
Spoiler: show
[quote]The date's message:

Hey Michelle, sorry been super busy at work today hun.

Thanks for a wonderful evening last night. I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You're cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won't.

I'm not going to bulls--t you... I f--king adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on my someone slimmer.

Shallow? It's not meant to be. It's the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.

So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. I don't want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I'm not hard.

There are certain triggers that fire my imagination into life and your wit and intelligence are the beginning of that process which would inevitably end up in the bedroom. With just one result....

I'm so disappointed in myself Michelle because I've genuinely not felt this way about anyone in ages, but I'm trying to be honest with you without sounding like a total knobhead.

We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and... f--k me... I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don't have to go through that embarrassment. I'm a man... With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man and I'm sure of my own body and its needs. Please try and forgive me. I adore you xx[/quote]
Spoiler: show
[quote]Dear Man I Met On Tinder.

I was on another date when I received your message. He returned from the loo to find me in a flood of tears. He was lovely, but baffled, and hasn't been in touch since, funnily enough.

You don't have to fancy me. We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think “you're lovely, but you just don't tickle my pickle”. We wish we were attracted to them, but our bodies and our brains don't work like that. And that's fine.

What isn't fine is the fact that, after a few hours in my company, you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message. It's nothing short of sadistic. Your tone is saccharine and condescending, but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque. The only possible objective for writing it is to wound me.

And I'm ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has – that it doesn't matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant – if you're a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable.

I like the way I look. I don't look like Charlize Theron, and that's fine - I look like me, and I like myself (I'm sure I'd like Charlize Theron, too if I ever met her. I hear good things).

You may think are all my profile pictures are "FGASs" (That's Fat Girl Angle Shots – pictures from angles that slim and flatter the girl. Because men only ever use candid, brutally-lit, unfiltered pics). But I think they're a fair representation. And I'm pretty upfront about who I am: I describe myself as a woman who loves pizza, and include links to myInstagram page, where I have the #everybodysready bikini shots I took on my 30th birthday. I like to think I come across as a confident, happy woman. But could this be the very reason you have targeted me? Did you see me and think “She has far too high an opinion of herself, she needs bringing down a peg or two”? I have to ask - we all know the internet is a dangerous place to be a woman with opinions (I discovered this first hand when I ventured a response to those obnoxious bloody adverts).

I showed your message to friends who expressed shock, horror, embarrassment on your behalf, and a desire to cause you actual physical harm. One male friend told me I have a lovely bottom “if unmarriageable”. I laughed with them. Then I cried in my Slimming World group. That's right! Slimming World! You see, I already KNOW that I'm overweight. I can tell you exactly how overweight I am – 20 pounds. I've already lost 15, and I've a stone and a half to go. I'm happy with that. I will get rid of it, safely and healthily. Does that mean that I can't love and enjoy my body now? F** no.*

I'll never see or hear from you again (you may feel the need to respond to this blog. Please don't. There's nothing you can say that will make me think that you're not a disgrace to your gender).

What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you [have a daughter].

I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body. It belongs to her and only her. Praise her intellect, and her creativity. Push her to push herself and to be fearless. Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if (I'll be kind. I'll say “if”.) the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now.

[Date's name].

Kiss.

My.

Exquisitely.

Unmarriagable.

Arse.

P.S. “Slip of a girl”? CHRIST ALIVE, that's creepy.

P.P.S. You're not 5'11

[/quote]
Her Tinder pictures were all strategic mug shots, her body shot;
Spoiler: show
Image
So much wrong here, here for the blatant false advertising in her Tinder profile then going to the press. Disgraceful carry on. Him trying to be the modern day man with a "heartfelt and honest" ( :uhoh: ) fobbing off instead of just the standard white lie. Then the newspaper who on the one hand give out about "fat shaming" then at the end having a laugh at the guy's height, which unlike 99% of porkers people have no control over yet are judged on just as much.
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Short Man Syndrome
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Short Man Syndrome »

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Hawk97
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Hawk97 »

even more wrong;
hun
I adore you xx
x( x( x(
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earl the beaver
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by earl the beaver »

She clearly wrote both messages.
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Blackrock Bullet
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Blackrock Bullet »

earl the beaver wrote:She clearly wrote both messages.
Was thinking that after, no man could write that surely and they're very similar, but with some modern men. :uhoh: Wouldn't surprise me if this was your one's pitch to get a Comment is Free gig.
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bobbity
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by bobbity »

Ah, a Blackrock Bullet thread about women. Bound to be enlightening and enlightened.
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feckwanker
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by feckwanker »

I cannot convey how much I hate social justice warriors, feminists and the fat acceptance movement.

You cannot say anything nowadays without some twat somewhere being offended.
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Mr Mike
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Mr Mike »

feckwanker wrote:I cannot convey how much I hate social justice warriors, feminists and the fat acceptance movement.

You cannot say anything nowadays without some twat somewhere being offended.
That's a bit harsh.
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theaxe
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by theaxe »

Mr Mike wrote:
feckwanker wrote:I cannot convey how much I hate social justice warriors, feminists and the fat acceptance movement.

You cannot say anything nowadays without some twat somewhere being offended.
That's a bit harsh.
:D
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Blackrock Bullet
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Blackrock Bullet »

feckwanker wrote:I cannot convey how much I hate social justice warriors, feminists and the fat acceptance movement.

You cannot say anything nowadays without some twat somewhere being offended.
If it were a man nothing would be said. All this moaning because of the mythical power men are supposed to have on every facet of life. :lol:
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True Blue
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by True Blue »

She's fat and needs to lose weight for her own health.
Mick Mannock
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Mick Mannock »

Probably not fat enough to be offered a seat on a bus.
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earl the beaver
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by earl the beaver »

Blackrock Bullet wrote:
earl the beaver wrote:She clearly wrote both messages.
Was thinking that after, no man could write that surely and they're very similar, but with some modern men. :uhoh: Wouldn't surprise me if this was your one's pitch to get a Comment is Free gig.
She's a blogger who is trying to crowd fund a book that she wrote after offering people £1 for a year to hear their stories, as such she is trying to build a social media presence and this just screams of fake.

The tone and style of both messages is far too similar (and similar to her other blog posts) to be a coincidence.
tc27
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by tc27 »

He's obviously a plum but it is Tinder and its all in the game.
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by feckwanker »

Mr Mike wrote:
feckwanker wrote:I cannot convey how much I hate social justice warriors, feminists and the fat acceptance movement.

You cannot say anything nowadays without some twat somewhere being offended.
That's a bit harsh.
:lol: :lol:
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RodneyRegis
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by RodneyRegis »

Of course she wrote both messages.

"I f--king adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met"

Either that or he's visually impaired.
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by alliswell »

I wish we could all stop living our lives so publicly. It's all so undignified.
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Blackrock Bullet
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Blackrock Bullet »

YEAH

Image
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happyhooker
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by happyhooker »

alliswell wrote:I wish we could all stop living our lives so publicly. It's all so undignified.
Shut up Pete, finsh eating that bag of crisps and hoover the hallway. Also, that shirt doesn't suit you.
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by alliswell »

Hang on, BB are you a shortarse?
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earl the beaver
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by earl the beaver »

You've stolen this entire thread of F365 haven't you BB, spoilers and all and are now doing it with pictures from the thread.
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theaxe
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by theaxe »

alliswell wrote:Hang on, BB are you a shortarse?
I was going to ask the same question...
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by danny_fitz »

That said I remember going on an internet date with a women whose photos simply did not match the reality, by that I mean the photos were of her, but clearly taken several years ago before she developed her attraction to the fridge light. No I did not send a hatchet job message pointing out that she was a lying fatty, but I was tempted as I am sure I was not the only bloke who had wasted an evening having small talk with Jabba's niece. Be fat and proud by all means, just don't bullsh*t on your profile.
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Short Man Syndrome »

Blackrock Bullet wrote:YEAH
Spoiler: show
Image


To be honest, I get rejected more for being a plum than I do for being short. Doesn't mean it hurts any less, tho.
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earl the beaver
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by earl the beaver »

Also have the independent removed comments from the article?

It was getting clogged up with loads of people calling her out for making it up so it seems they have.
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Blackrock Bullet
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Blackrock Bullet »

alliswell wrote:Hang on, BB are you a shortarse?
Nope, just calling out the hypocrisy. I'd put up a height certificate for you if I could.
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4071
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by 4071 »

To be fair, he didn't say she was too fat to love - he said she was too fat to fudge.

And she knows it, which is why she's trying to lose weight.

So what's her issue?
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Blackrock Bullet
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Blackrock Bullet »

earl the beaver wrote:You've stolen this entire thread of F365 haven't you BB, spoilers and all and are now doing it with pictures from the thread.
Reddit
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by rfurlong »

she may be fat but she's working on it so fair play

On the other hand the guy is a fooking bellend of the highest order with no redeeming features ("I dont want that to happen baby"? - Jesus wept) and the empathy of a slug

anyone siding with him in this 'debate' is destined for a sad lonely life
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Chuckles1188 »

I have to wonder what kind of world BB exists in that he thinks it's immoral, or for that matter in any way unusual, for someone to be less than completely honest in composing a dating profile
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Mr Mike »

I did enjoy the irony of this review under the headline of "Why 'Magic Mike XXL' is body positive".
The moral of Hairspray is that we're all beautiful, no matter our size, which is great, but I'm far more interested in seeing portrayals of women of all shapes and sizes just existing, like they do in the real world. And while Magic Mike XXL is not exactly that movie, it comes pretty close.
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earl the beaver
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by earl the beaver »

rfurlong wrote:she may be fat but she's working on it so fair play

On the other hand the guy is a fooking bellend of the highest order with no redeeming features ("I dont want that to happen baby"? - Jesus wept) and the empathy of a slug

anyone siding with him in this 'debate' is destined for a sad lonely life
There is no guy, it's fake.
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by alliswell »

Blackrock Bullet wrote:
alliswell wrote:Hang on, BB are you a shortarse?
Nope, just calling out the hypocrisy. I'd put up a height certificate for you if I could.
:lol:
rfurlong

Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by rfurlong »

earl the beaver wrote:
rfurlong wrote:she may be fat but she's working on it so fair play

On the other hand the guy is a fooking bellend of the highest order with no redeeming features ("I dont want that to happen baby"? - Jesus wept) and the empathy of a slug

anyone siding with him in this 'debate' is destined for a sad lonely life
There is no guy, it's fake.
if thats the case then burn the witch! :lol:

seriously though, where are you getting that from?
backrow
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by backrow »

She isn't even that fat, plenty on this forum have shagged fatter chicks than that

Why would he even write that stuff ? What a prat. What is wrong with the normal wall of silence that most people of either sex employ when they don't want to go out with someone ?

Must admit I wouldnt shag her, but I tend toward slim blondes with big tits tbf
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Malahide Mullet »

It's all fat this and fat that until you skinny salad eating cocksuckers need somebody to hold up a scrum or win the fight you picked because some flanker messed your hair.
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Ghost-Of-Nepia »

danny_fitz wrote:That said I remember going on an internet date with a women whose photos simply did not match the reality, by that I mean the photos were of her, but clearly taken several years ago before she developed her attraction to the fridge light. No I did not send a hatchet job message pointing out that she was a lying fatty, but I was tempted as I am sure I was not the only bloke who had wasted an evening having small talk with Jabba's niece. Be fat and proud by all means, just don't bullsh*t on your profile.
Got caught out once by a woman whose photos were "blurry" and distant at best. She turned up and was just ''big''. Not fat, but big.

Something along these lines:

Image
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happyhooker
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by happyhooker »

Malahide Mullet wrote:It's all fat this and fat that until you skinny salad eating cocksuckers need somebody to hold up a scrum or win the fight you picked because some flanker messed your hair.
Oh christ. Do you reckon you could take manny too?
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Davestar
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by Davestar »

Odd all round.

A friend of mine was on the app Happn and she received a message from some bloke on her street that simply said "I want to tongue punch your fart box".

Classy.
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earl the beaver
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Re: Woman told she is too fat to love by Tinder date

Post by earl the beaver »

rfurlong wrote:
earl the beaver wrote:
rfurlong wrote:she may be fat but she's working on it so fair play

On the other hand the guy is a fooking bellend of the highest order with no redeeming features ("I dont want that to happen baby"? - Jesus wept) and the empathy of a slug

anyone siding with him in this 'debate' is destined for a sad lonely life
There is no guy, it's fake.
if thats the case then burn the witch! :lol:

seriously though, where are you getting that from?
Read both messages, read her blog spot the similarities and the realise that it's just a push to get more crowd funding for her book.

She's being called out for it "all over the interwebs", independent stopped the comments on the article for this reason.
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