Engagement Ring Etiquette

[Plato'sCave]

You are Irish! - answer is obvious, buy a Claddagh ring, give a big soppy story about how important tradition is to you. Explain how it works:

Right hand heart pointing out - she is single and available
Right hand heart pointing in - she is in a relationship
Left hand heart pointing out - engaged
left hand heart pointing in - married

Now realise the savings and the kudos, you buy it for her and put it on the right hand when the relationship is working =kudos
You want to get engaged? you get down on your knee. ask for the ring back - then put it on her left hand - watch her face = kudos (watch her friends reaction too!)
Time to get married? just move the ring around

look at the savings! and she thinks you are a romantic as well.

And yes - have done this twice and it worked (why twice might imply it didn't work - longer story)

Do they come in brass?

[Wilson's Toffee]

Contact Pierre Spies (the rugby player) He sells real good stuff, not the shit normally found in engagement rings.

Anything Pierre Spies sells is bound to look good on the outside but will disappoint and turn out to be pretty worthless.

I'm liking this for ethical dimension, quality and price: https://www.1215engagement.com/

I'm liking something like this for edgy and stylish but a bit over budget:

http://www.diamondintherough.com/produc ... 2d621-1-05

Pierre sells seriously good stuff. This is not rugby, this is serious business.

[A5D5E5]

i didn't have a ring when I proposed as I wasn't sure what my (now) wife would like.

We went to the shop together and she tried on a number of rings, eventually choosing one a little smaller than I would have done as she felt the bigger diamonds didn't look right on her fingers. She also chose a totally different shape to the one I would have chosen.

She also chose the grade down from flawless (which I think is called visually flawless or something - essentially it looks flawless to the naked eye and you need a microscope to see the flaws) - she (rightly I guess) didn't see the point in paying the extra whereas I would have chosen flawless had I been buying it myself.

All in all, letting her choose saved me a fucking fortune and gave her a ring she really loves.

[Plato'sCave]

I never got engaged, just got married, never saw the point in engagement.

Why the f**k don't you get her an intend-to-get-engaged ring first, then get her an engagement ring before you get her a wedding ring. Why not even get her a ring to prove you are good enough to get intend-to-get-engaged later ring.

Jesus, you absolute f**k saps.

So what, you just chucked her in the car, told her you were going to Morrisons and took her to the registry office? Did she consent to this at any point?

We (at some point I can't remember) agreed that at some point we would probably end up getting married, none of us wanted to do the whole "ooo, were engaged" thing, no rings, no toasts, no party, no nothing. We are not big on ceremony. We ended up getting married on a ship.

[Zakar]

I never got engaged, just got married, never saw the point in engagement.

Why the f**k don't you get her an intend-to-get-engaged ring first, then get her an engagement ring before you get her a wedding ring. Why not even get her a ring to prove you are good enough to get intend-to-get-engaged later ring.

Jesus, you absolute f**k saps.

So what, you just chucked her in the car, told her you were going to Morrisons and took her to the registry office? Did she consent to this at any point?

We (at some point I can't remember) agreed that at some point we would probably end up getting married, none of us wanted to do the whole "ooo, were engaged" thing, no rings, no toasts, no party, no nothing. We are not big on ceremony.

Right. So you were engaged.

[HighKingLeinster]

I never got engaged, just got married, never saw the point in engagement.

Why the f**k don't you get her an intend-to-get-engaged ring first, then get her an engagement ring before you get her a wedding ring. Why not even get her a ring to prove you are good enough to get intend-to-get-engaged later ring.

Jesus, you absolute f**k saps.

So what, you just chucked her in the car, told her you were going to Morrisons and took her to the registry office? Did she consent to this at any point?

I hope she at least had a chance to put on an inch of fake tan.



Oh wait, she though she was going to Morrisons so she probably did

[A5D5E5]

I never got engaged, just got married, never saw the point in engagement.

Why the f**k don't you get her an intend-to-get-engaged ring first, then get her an engagement ring before you get her a wedding ring. Why not even get her a ring to prove you are good enough to get intend-to-get-engaged later ring.

Jesus, you absolute f**k saps.

So what, you just chucked her in the car, told her you were going to Morrisons and took her to the registry office? Did she consent to this at any point?

We (at some point I can't remember) agreed that at some point we would probably end up getting married, none of us wanted to do the whole "ooo, were engaged" thing...

How many people are in your marriage?

[argus]

My sister in law has a ring that's apparently worth $25k. Thank god my wife explicitly told me not to buy her a ring

Good advice

No reason to buy your sister in law a ring unless she is hot

[RWC2015]

My sister in law has a ring that's apparently worth $25k. Thank god my wife explicitly told me not to buy her a ring

Good advice

No reason to buy your sister in law a ring unless she is hot

and putting out

[Plato'sCave]

I never got engaged, just got married, never saw the point in engagement.

Why the f**k don't you get her an intend-to-get-engaged ring first, then get her an engagement ring before you get her a wedding ring. Why not even get her a ring to prove you are good enough to get intend-to-get-engaged later ring.

Jesus, you absolute f**k saps.

So what, you just chucked her in the car, told her you were going to Morrisons and took her to the registry office? Did she consent to this at any point?

We (at some point I can't remember) agreed that at some point we would probably end up getting married, none of us wanted to do the whole "ooo, were engaged" thing, no rings, no toasts, no party, no nothing. We are not big on ceremony.

Right. So you were engaged.

Why do people buy rings and have parties if just agreeing it will probably happen at some point is all it takes? This ring, party, announcement thing is most inefficient.

[danny_fitz]

i didn't have a ring when I proposed as I wasn't sure what my (now) wife would like

Neither did I, I popped the question to Mrs Fitz on the top Table Mountain over some salami sandwiches, a mars bar and a bottle of champagne.

[A5D5E5]

i didn't have a ring when I proposed as I wasn't sure what my (now) wife would like

Neither did I, I popped the question to Mrs Fitz on the top Table Mountain over some salami sandwiches, a mars bar and a bottle of champagne.

Mine was giving me a blow job when I asked. True story.

[DonBillydeParis]

What's this engagement thing?

I don't get it sorry.

Otherwise a suggestion regarding marriage ring:

[Plato'sCave]

i didn't have a ring when I proposed as I wasn't sure what my (now) wife would like

Neither did I, I popped the question to Mrs Fitz on the top Table Mountain over some salami sandwiches, a mars bar and a bottle of champagne.

Mine was giving me a blow job when I asked. True story.

[A5D5E5]

i didn't have a ring when I proposed as I wasn't sure what my (now) wife would like

Neither did I, I popped the question to Mrs Fitz on the top Table Mountain over some salami sandwiches, a mars bar and a bottle of champagne.

Mine was giving me a blow job when I asked. True story.

Would have saved me a fortune on the engagement ring.

[danny_fitz]

A chap down my rugby club was attending a wedding with his girlfriend in some swish hotel and while they were getting ready for the ceremony in their room he dropped on one knee and presented his girlfriend with a small box. Her clutching her mouth and wide eyed in disbelief with tears welling up in her eyes was somewhat crestfallen when he asked 'what do you think of my cuff links'?

Dog house does not get even close describing the rest of his weekend!

[RWC2015]

A chap down my rugby club was attending a wedding with his girlfriend in some swish hotel and while they were getting ready for the ceremony in their room he dropped on one knee and presented his girlfriend with a small box. Her clutching her mouth and wide eyed in disbelief with tears welling up in her eyes was somewhat crestfallen when he asked 'what do you think of my cuff links'?

Dog house does not get even close describing the rest of his weekend!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnwybWewTkw

so so mean

[argus]

i didn't have a ring when I proposed as I wasn't sure what my (now) wife would like

Neither did I, I popped the question to Mrs Fitz on the top Table Mountain over some salami sandwiches, a mars bar and a bottle of champagne.

Mine was giving me a blow job when I asked. True story.

Did that make the best mans speech?

[Salanya]

Any sane woman wouldn't want too expensive a ring anyway; it's bound to get lost or damaged at some point.

A few hundred pounds would get a good quality and nice looking ring - who cares whether it's 2, 4 or 13 carats?! And then the rest of the money can be spend on other nice stuff for her: shoes, earrings, shoes, dresses, did I mention shoes?!

[Brazil]

My friend made the foolish error of proposing without getting the ring first.

So is currently involved in both negotiating a budget (which is awkward) and feigning interest in all things ring-related.

This is why you shouldn't do things sober, you silly twat

[A5D5E5]

i didn't have a ring when I proposed as I wasn't sure what my (now) wife would like

Neither did I, I popped the question to Mrs Fitz on the top Table Mountain over some salami sandwiches, a mars bar and a bottle of champagne.

Mine was giving me a blow job when I asked. True story.

Did that make the best mans speech?

Not a chance. Would have been a pretty short marriage.

[shabadoo]

I have a related question for the bored:

Hypothetically speaking of course - if your brother continually denied wanting to propose to his girlfriend to all and sundry...and then you came across a post on-line with him asking for advice on engagement rings...how would you best fudge things up for him?

All suggestions appreciated...

[toweliechaos]

I thought it was common knowledge that it's basically 2 months' salary?

[Uncle Fester]

You are Irish! - answer is obvious, buy a Claddagh ring, give a big soppy story about how important tradition is to you. Explain how it works:

Right hand heart pointing out - she is single and available
Right hand heart pointing in - she is in a relationship
Left hand heart pointing out - engaged
left hand heart pointing in - married

Now realise the savings and the kudos, you buy it for her and put it on the right hand when the relationship is working =kudos
You want to get engaged? you get down on your knee. ask for the ring back - then put it on her left hand - watch her face = kudos (watch her friends reaction too!)
Time to get married? just move the ring around

look at the savings! and she thinks you are a romantic as well.

And yes - have done this twice and it worked (why twice might imply it didn't work - longer story)

Those rings are unbelievably gauche.

[aitch@wasps]

I turned to the eBay for inspiration when I chose my ring. Fell in love with a very unusual ruby and diamond ring, got it for £120.00! Was valued at £1800.00... Bargain.

[Uncle Fester]

Oh and don't go for high carat gold because it's soft and will scratch/wear much easier.

[henry]

My friend made the foolish error of proposing without getting the ring first.

So is currently involved in both negotiating a budget (which is awkward) and feigning interest in all things ring-related.

This is why you shouldn't do things sober, you silly twat

I blame Odave.

I might sue him for damages.

[A5D5E5]

Oh and don't go for high carat gold because it's soft and will scratch/wear much easier.

Gold? What is this 1975?

[DragsterDriver]

Don't spend more than a few hundred, if she complains then she's a needy shallow classless whore. Expect her to buy you one of equal value. Exchange receipts as proof. If she's not receptive to this equality principle, she's a needy shallow classless whore.

Unless of course she is wiling for you to be the boss of the house and will acquiesce to any decision you make, if that's the case then by all means, go old school, be a gent.

This (in slightly less harsh terms) for me- fifty quid ring, if she doesn't swoon then give her a wide berth.

[Flametop]

I thought it was common knowledge that it's basically 2 months' salary?

I've heard that shit before. What's the logic behind this calculation?

It's terrific that women could be do up front with that sort of expectation, saves a fortune in divorce proceedings at a later date.

[de_Selby]

I recently proposed and used a cheap argos job to do the job, then we went around looking at rings together so she'd get one that she liked.

We weren't particularly trying to save money but she liked the style of vintage rings & luckily for me it turns out they're much cheaper! It sidesteps the whole "conflict free" question since they're vintage too

[Edinburgh01]

Not read all of this, but we actually did go to South Africa for the ring, but we were going anyway.

We'd spent time discussing what she wanted which was explicitly not something that you'd buy in the High St. We went to the jeweller with ideas, he helped shape them into something practical and unique and made it.

She spent ages telling me how it much it meant having something unique and special we worked on together. She never wears it now, and wears her Mother's engagement ring all the time.

In summary, I have no idea.

I thought 3 months salary was the norm?

[Margin_Walker]

I thought it was common knowledge that it's basically 2 months' salary?

I've heard that shit before. What's the logic behind this calculation?

It's terrific that women could be do up front with that sort of expectation, saves a fortune in divorce proceedings at a later date.

Pretty sure all the x months salary stuff was just dreamt up by De Beers marketing people

[Redsfan]

I thought it was common knowledge that it's basically 2 months' salary?

I've heard that shit before. What's the logic behind this calculation?

It's terrific that women could be do up front with that sort of expectation, saves a fortune in divorce proceedings at a later date.

It comes from an early(ish) 20th century advertising campaign by De Beers or someone, afaik.


As for rings, my mum gave me a stone out of an old piece of her jewellery, I got a it put into a custom-made ring by a bloke working out of his tiny family-owned workshop, and all was well-received.

The bloke who made it told me a story of another bloke that he had recently made a ring for- he proposed and she said something along the lines of "come back with a bigger stone and I'll marry you then."

[ScarfaceClaw]

i didn't have a ring when I proposed as I wasn't sure what my (now) wife would like

Neither did I, I popped the question to Mrs Fitz on the top Table Mountain over some salami sandwiches, a mars bar and a bottle of champagne.

Mine was giving me a blow job when I asked. True story.

They always get you when you're at your weakest and agreeable to anything.

[Rumham]

I thought it was common knowledge that it's basically 2 months' salary?

I've heard that shit before. What's the logic behind this calculation?

It's terrific that women could be do up front with that sort of expectation, saves a fortune in divorce proceedings at a later date.

Pretty sure all the x months salary stuff was just dreamt up by De Beers marketing people

Incredible that is still being quoted as the 'norm'.


I'll add that you should get the missus involved. It's impossible for a guy to get this right on his own. And don't skimp on it. A nice ring will get brownie points for a nice engagement ring to keep things civil between you for a long time.

[RWC2015]

Not read all of this, but we actually did go to South Africa for the ring, but we were going anyway.

We'd spent time discussing what she wanted which was explicitly not something that you'd buy in the High St. We went to the jeweller with ideas, he helped shape them into something practical and unique and made it.

She spent ages telling me how it much it meant having something unique and special we worked on together. She never wears it now, and wears her Mother's engagement ring all the time.

In summary, I have no idea.

I thought 3 months salary was the norm?

The "norm" is actually an invention of the company which happens to control most of the world's diamonds, which is why they can go fudge a stick as far as I'm concerned.

"The idea that a man should spend a significant fraction of his annual income for an engagement ring originated de novo from De Beers marketing materials in the mid-20th century in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds. In the 1930s, they suggested that a man should spend the equivalent of one month's income in the engagement ring; later they suggested that he should spend two months' income on it.[31] In 2012, the average cost of an engagement ring in USA as reported by the industry was US$4,000.[32] In the UK, estimates of the average cost of an engagement ring range from £1200 to £2000."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagemen ... th_century

[goose81]

I presume your Irish by profile pic, 3X monthly salary or minimum 6k is the norm from people I know.

[Sandstorm]

Buy the biggest stone less than flawless you can afford. Women don't know about clarity but they all show off "how big their diamond is"

[RWC2015]

I presume your Irish by profile pic, 3X monthly salary or minimum 6k is the norm from people I know.

I've never asked or been told what someone spent on a ring. Maybe we just know different types of people.