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Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 6:51 pm
by RWC2015
So my buddy was asking me for a bit of advice there. He is feeling quite unsure about things and is trying to get them straight in his head, and doesn't therefore want to ask his real life friends for advice because he is trying to be discrete. He asked me therefore to turn to the on-line community of sages, wizards, ninjas and piss-takers.

He is thinking of popping the question but he's always had a real hate of the whole engagement ring thing. He feels like he is getting suckered and he's worried about the whole blood diamond thing also (I know, he sounds like a bit of a wanker).

On the other hand, he knows that his pretty lady friend, alternative though she may be, would love a big sparkler on her finger. So he's probably gonna get over himself and just shell out. He has a few quid all right, but just bought a house and so is fairly stretched. He's really just not sure what the fudge to do or how to do it...he's reading things about average spend being 5/6k euro and just thinking "what the fudge?". Is he being a scabby tool?

Thoughts or even just stories about how you did it, or are planning to do it, most welcome.

I know PR loves a bit of dick waving so bring it on 8)

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 6:56 pm
by Duff Paddy
You're going to get taken up the arse, accept it.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 6:58 pm
by Glaston
Flight to the Congo.

Some dubious dealings to get gemstone
Fly to Amsterdam get it polished
Fly to London get it set
Fly home


Done and done

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:00 pm
by HighKingLeinster
buy a sapphire/emerald etc. Way more bang for your buck

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:00 pm
by Duff Paddy
Glaston wrote:Flight to the Congo.

Some dubious dealings to get gemstone
Fly to Amsterdam get it polished
Fly to London get it set
Fly home


Done and done
You can do a less dodgy version of this in South Africa

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:01 pm
by Chuckles1188
Image

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:01 pm
by Duff Paddy
Not for every girl but try this:
http://www.oreillysfineart.com

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:03 pm
by RWC2015
Glaston wrote:Flight to the Congo.

Some dubious dealings to get gemstone
Fly to Amsterdam get it polished
Fly to London get it set
Fly home


Done and done
It does sound appealing, but na, fudge that. I'd get it polished and set in the same place... :nod: *touches nose

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:08 pm
by RWC2015
Duff Paddy wrote:Not for every girl but try this:
http://www.oreillysfineart.com
nice one :thumbup:

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:09 pm
by Pullman
Search online for artificial diamonds. Ethical, just as high-quality these days and more affordable.

Only downside is they don't really go above 2 carats (I think beyond that point it becomes too expensive to manufacture them).

Just think carefully about whether to tell the missus or not; some women can be funny about it (which of course is why they're cheaper!)

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:13 pm
by Duff Paddy
Pullman wrote:
Just think carefully about whether to tell the missus or not; some women can be funny about it (which of course is why they're cheaper!)
finally we are coming down to the real issue. The only thing that actually matters is the perceived value in the eyes of the woman. She wants to show off to her friends and family but equally she needs to know that the purchase genuinely hurt the man financially.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:14 pm
by Plato'sCave
Don't spend more than a few hundred, if she complains then she's a needy shallow classless whore. Expect her to buy you one of equal value. Exchange receipts as proof. If she's not receptive to this equality principle, she's a needy shallow classless whore.

Unless of course she is wiling for you to be the boss of the house and will acquiesce to any decision you make, if that's the case then by all means, go old school, be a gent.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:19 pm
by Stevus55
My sister in law has a ring that's apparently worth $25k. Thank god my wife explicitly told me not to buy her a ring :uhoh:

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:20 pm
by RWC2015
:lol:

genuine lols here

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:20 pm
by Duff Paddy
Stevus55 wrote:My sister in law has a ring that's apparently worth $25k. Thank god my wife explicitly told me not to buy her a ring :uhoh:
that is clearly mental. give your brother a slap. When you're spending the deposit for a buy to let apartment then you deserve a slap.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:23 pm
by RWC2015
Duff Paddy wrote:
Pullman wrote:
Just think carefully about whether to tell the missus or not; some women can be funny about it (which of course is why they're cheaper!)
finally we are coming down to the real issue. The only thing that actually matters is the perceived value in the eyes of the woman. She wants to show off to her friends and family but equally she needs to know that the purchase genuinely hurt the man financially.
I suppose I just don't want her to be embarrassed when she's showing it to friends.

So moissanite is your only man :D

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:27 pm
by RWC2015
Duff Paddy wrote:
Stevus55 wrote:My sister in law has a ring that's apparently worth $25k. Thank god my wife explicitly told me not to buy her a ring :uhoh:
that is clearly mental. give your brother a slap. When you're spending the deposit for a buy to let apartment then you deserve a slap.
When you start looking they go a LOT higher than that! Easy to get sucked into the whole thing. Lucky I....my friend...doesn't have small dick syndrome (or too much disposable income to waste)!

Then again, I was thinking 1-2k initially, but now wondering if I'll have to go higher :uhoh:

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:29 pm
by Duff Paddy
RWC2015 wrote:
Duff Paddy wrote:
Stevus55 wrote:My sister in law has a ring that's apparently worth $25k. Thank god my wife explicitly told me not to buy her a ring :uhoh:
that is clearly mental. give your brother a slap. When you're spending the deposit for a buy to let apartment then you deserve a slap.
When you start looking they go a LOT higher than that! Easy to get sucked into the whole thing. Lucky I....my friend...doesn't have small dick syndrome (or too much disposable income to waste)!

Then again, I was thinking 1-2k initially, but now wondering if I'll have to go higher :uhoh:
1-2k would be more than enough for any sane person, but this is women we're talking about here.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:30 pm
by Stevus55
Duff Paddy wrote:
Stevus55 wrote:My sister in law has a ring that's apparently worth $25k. Thank god my wife explicitly told me not to buy her a ring :uhoh:
that is clearly mental. give your brother a slap. When you're spending the deposit for a buy to let apartment then you deserve a slap.
He's my brother in law. Tbf, he bought his first wife a ~$10k ring, then she gave it back when they divorced and he traded it in and slapped down another ~$10k on top for a ring for the second wife. Still though, I have a very long list of things I would rather spend the money on.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:31 pm
by Margin_Walker
Duff Paddy wrote:
RWC2015 wrote:
Duff Paddy wrote:
Stevus55 wrote:My sister in law has a ring that's apparently worth $25k. Thank god my wife explicitly told me not to buy her a ring :uhoh:
that is clearly mental. give your brother a slap. When you're spending the deposit for a buy to let apartment then you deserve a slap.
When you start looking they go a LOT higher than that! Easy to get sucked into the whole thing. Lucky I....my friend...doesn't have small dick syndrome (or too much disposable income to waste)!

Then again, I was thinking 1-2k initially, but now wondering if I'll have to go higher :uhoh:
1-2k would be more than enough for any sane person, but this is women we're talking about here.
:thumbup:

I spent in that range GBP and she was more than happy. Depends if you think your Mrs (hopefully...) will get hung up on not having the biggest rock in town.

Bought online in the end as well, which ended up being the way to go.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:37 pm
by henry
This thread comes at a most opportune time for my friend.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:38 pm
by Leinsterman
Just don't go to the high street places like Weirs. Their mark up is ridiculous.
Plenty of smaller places like Patrick Glynn on Abbey Street who actually makes the rings for these larger places on-site. You'll get a lot more for your money.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:40 pm
by Wilson's Toffee
Contact Pierre Spies (the rugby player) He sells real good stuff, not the shit normally found in engagement rings.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:40 pm
by Wilson's Toffee
.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:41 pm
by danny_fitz
Image

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:41 pm
by Wilson's Toffee
Double post.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:41 pm
by danny_fitz
.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:44 pm
by Zakar
My...uh...friend is having similar thoughts.

His girlfriend doesn't mind too much about size etc, but would like a diamond. It doesn't bloody help that her sister just got engaged to someone with a massive trustfund who splashed 50kish on the ring.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:47 pm
by RWC2015
A lot of people's friends are thinking of along the same lines!!
Leinsterman wrote:Just don't go to the high street places like Weirs. Their mark up is ridiculous.
Plenty of smaller places like Patrick Glynn on Abbey Street who actually makes the rings for these larger places on-site. You'll get a lot more for your money.
:thumbup:
danny_fitz wrote:Image
Agreed :((

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:48 pm
by Mr Mike
Zakar wrote:My...uh...friend is having similar thoughts.

His girlfriend doesn't mind too much about size
Thats very nice of her.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:48 pm
by henry
My friend made the foolish error of proposing without getting the ring first.

So is currently involved in both negotiating a budget (which is awkward) and feigning interest in all things ring-related.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:53 pm
by RWC2015
Wilson's Toffee wrote:Contact Pierre Spies (the rugby player) He sells real good stuff, not the shit normally found in engagement rings.
Anything Pierre Spies sells is bound to look good on the outside but will disappoint and turn out to be pretty worthless.

I'm liking this for ethical dimension, quality and price: https://www.1215engagement.com/

I'm liking something like this for edgy and stylish but a bit over budget:

http://www.diamondintherough.com/produc ... 2d621-1-05

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:55 pm
by Plato'sCave
I never got engaged, just got married, never saw the point in engagement.

Why the fudge don't you get her an intend-to-get-engaged ring first, then get her an engagement ring before you get her a wedding ring. Why not even get her a ring to prove you are good enough to get intend-to-get-engaged later ring.

Jesus, you absolute f**king saps.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:55 pm
by danny_fitz
Fly to South Africa, preferably to coincide with a rugby game, haggle over various rings between half a dozen shops letting each salesperson know that you are talking to the vendors across the road. Watch rugby game, claim VAT back at the airport, fly home! :thumbup: :smug:

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:56 pm
by RWC2015
henry wrote:My friend made the foolish error of proposing without getting the ring first.

So is currently involved in both negotiating a budget (which is awkward) and feigning interest in all things ring-related.
There have been stories told to my friend by his partner along the lines of "my friend's partner just proposed with a plastic ring which a gas altogether, what a card hahaha, but then they had great fun shopping together for ages and ages and ages".

So yeah, I think I'm just gonna buy it myself. If she hates it she can bring it back.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:58 pm
by blackdog
You are Irish! - answer is obvious, buy a Claddagh ring, give a big soppy story about how important tradition is to you. Explain how it works:

Right hand heart pointing out - she is single and available
Right hand heart pointing in - she is in a relationship
Left hand heart pointing out - engaged
left hand heart pointing in - married

Now realise the savings and the kudos, you buy it for her and put it on the right hand when the relationship is working =kudos
You want to get engaged? you get down on your knee. ask for the ring back - then put it on her left hand - watch her face = kudos (watch her friends reaction too!)
Time to get married? just move the ring around

look at the savings! and she thinks you are a romantic as well.

And yes - have done this twice and it worked (why twice might imply it didn't work - longer story)

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:59 pm
by henry
RWC2015 wrote:
henry wrote:My friend made the foolish error of proposing without getting the ring first.

So is currently involved in both negotiating a budget (which is awkward) and feigning interest in all things ring-related.
There have been stories told to my friend by his partner along the lines of "my friend's partner just proposed with a plastic ring which a gas altogether, what a card hahaha, but then they had great fun shopping together for ages and ages and ages".

So yeah, I think I'm just gonna buy it myself. If she hates it she can bring it back.
I endorse your course of action.

My friend is regretting his laziness/cowardice.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 8:01 pm
by Zakar
Plato'sCave wrote:I never got engaged, just got married, never saw the point in engagement.

Why the f**k don't you get her an intend-to-get-engaged ring first, then get her an engagement ring before you get her a wedding ring. Why not even get her a ring to prove you are good enough to get intend-to-get-engaged later ring.

Jesus, you absolute f**k saps.

:roll:

So what, you just chucked her in the car, told her you were going to Morrisons and took her to the registry office? Did she consent to this at any point?

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 8:01 pm
by Wilson's Toffee
RWC2015 wrote:
Wilson's Toffee wrote:Contact Pierre Spies (the rugby player) He sells real good stuff, not the shit normally found in engagement rings.
Anything Pierre Spies sells is bound to look good on the outside but will disappoint and turn out to be pretty worthless.

I'm liking this for ethical dimension, quality and price: https://www.1215engagement.com/

I'm liking something like this for edgy and stylish but a bit over budget:

http://www.diamondintherough.com/produc ... 2d621-1-05

:lol:


Pierre sells seriously good stuff. This is not rugby, this is serious business.

Re: Engagement Ring Etiquette

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 8:01 pm
by Plato'sCave
blackdog wrote:You are Irish! - answer is obvious, buy a Claddagh ring, give a big soppy story about how important tradition is to you. Explain how it works:

Right hand heart pointing out - she is single and available
Right hand heart pointing in - she is in a relationship
Left hand heart pointing out - engaged
left hand heart pointing in - married

Now realise the savings and the kudos, you buy it for her and put it on the right hand when the relationship is working =kudos
You want to get engaged? you get down on your knee. ask for the ring back - then put it on her left hand - watch her face = kudos (watch her friends reaction too!)
Time to get married? just move the ring around

look at the savings! and she thinks you are a romantic as well.

And yes - have done this twice and it worked (why twice might imply it didn't work - longer story)
Do they come in brass?