Having children or not?

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w0rdtothe3rd
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by w0rdtothe3rd »

sewa wrote:
w0rdtothe3rd wrote:
Mahoney wrote:
w0rdtothe3rd wrote:Wouldn't it be a cosmically noble thing to do to just stop procreating and fade out of existence in peace rather than smear as much of our shit around the galaxy as possible?
Noble to whom? The universe doesn't have feelings. It's also guaranteed to end up as a uniform sea of protons at just above absolute zero regardless of what we do.
Noble because it would reduce suffering.
All of that suffering, your life must be a barrel of laughs :roll:
You're completely missing the point. I'm playing devil's advocate with an interesting philosophical position and you're just sniping around the fringes without really saying anything. It makes you seem very insecure.
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globus
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by globus »

sewa wrote:
globus wrote:They do get expensive later on. Houses, weddings, baptisms and birthdays etc.

Still; they are irreplaceable.
I am sure as hell not buying either of them houses or paying for their weddings. A reasonable contribution towards both and they will be paying the rest
Not a bad lesson at all. Thankfully the kiddiwinks married people with a bob or two so it wasn't the total financial car crash I'd expected.

Their company is as rewarding as you'll get. I love them to bits.
towny
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by towny »

I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
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Flockwitt
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Flockwitt »

Heymans wrote:Father of 2 here.

I'd be devastated if anything were to happen to them, but at the same time my life would be noticeably better if I didn't have any. More money, more time,more sleep, more freedom to do stuff I want to do etc etc...
As mentioned I married and did my breeding later in life. I had spent years prior just doing whatever I chose which was mostly just partying up and shagging around Asia. I had before marriage and children lived the sort of dream of the totally carefree inhibition-free lifestyle. When other people were advancing their careers and worrying about their mortgages I was living with 4 hookers in the slums of Bangkok. Now I'm very happy being a conservative family man. There's a balance in life and you just have to find what works for you.
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globus
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by globus »

towny wrote:I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
Good man. A proper gent.
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w0rdtothe3rd
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by w0rdtothe3rd »

towny wrote:I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
You're expecting her to get divorced then?
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sewa
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by sewa »

towny wrote:I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
Good for you. Its another stupid tradition imo, pay for your girls weddings but not your boys.
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globus
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by globus »

sewa wrote:
towny wrote:I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
Good for you. Its another stupid tradition imo, pay for your girls weddings but not your boys.
It's a matter of pride in my life.
towny
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by towny »

sewa wrote:
towny wrote:I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
Good for you. Its another stupid tradition imo, pay for your girls weddings but not your boys.
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sewa
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by sewa »

Its a pathetic and outdated throwback to times before equality. Just a slightly more modern form of paying a dowry because the other poor family have inherited a woman who couldn't possibly have a job, no she will stay in the house and cook and clean
towny
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by towny »

fudge you're a whiny bitch.
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Not Frankie
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Not Frankie »

People should have kids if they can, otherwise my kids will be paying for their pension and upkeep when they're old. Had this conversation with an old fella I worked with who thought he was right to not have kids as he wasn't burdening society with the cost attached to bringing them up. My argument was as I've already stated, he retired with a year salary as a payoff at 60 and with western medicine will potentially live till hos late 80s early 90s. This will be the norm for a vast swathe of older people who, by not having kids will do nothing other than burden the generations to come with their maintenance.
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globus
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by globus »

sewa wrote:Its a pathetic and outdated throwback to times before equality. Just a slightly more modern form of paying a dowry because the other poor family have inherited a woman who couldn't possibly have a job, no she will stay in the house and cook and clean
No it's not. It's a wonderful feeling to "give your daughter away". And to entertain the guests.

I could not pull the purse strings tight having had our own wedding reception at Hambleton Hall, which we booked for the entire weekend, courtesy of Tim Hart. (Mates rates!)

I was going to fly them all in over Rutland Water via another mate who has a helicopter but got stymied because Tim had promised the populace only one heli flight a day.

It's not what you know ..............................
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Zico
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Zico »

towny wrote:I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
:thumbup:

There are many levels on which this is a sound investment.

Making it seem altruistic is the coup de gras.

Any fool who doesn't see this deserves feuds with their in-laws.
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odave
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by odave »

Rumham wrote:
Ali's Choice wrote:
sorCrer wrote:
Ali's Choice wrote:
theaxe wrote:I do find it funny that those who have kids often have Towny's attitude towards those the don't, ie you're a selfish prick too wrapped up in your own life to have kids. Honestly I think its better for people to see being childless as an option, rather than feeling obliged to have kids since that's what your 'supposed' to do.
I'm getting older and I am quite happy not having them but if it happens I reckon I'd be equally happy with them.
Virtually all the attitude on this thread is from childless posters having a crack at those who have kids. You clearly agree with Sorcrer that the planet is too full as it is and people with more than two kids are being irresponsible?
Poor people who can't afford a large family coupled with less intelligent people diluting the gene pool.
:lol: You're insane
Diluting the gene pool eh, where have we heard that before?

Developed countries are in no danger of over population, in fact they need higher birth rates to grow.
That's an economic argument, not an environmental one.

As an eco twat who sees our species' survival intrinsically linked with the environment and diverse, healthy worldwide ecosystems this has also genuinely been my reason to think long and hard about having children up to this point. That may change, and I wouldn't feel hypocritical if it did, but I would like to think that spending a large part of my life trying to make the planet a more inhabitable place long term for other people's kids would avoid some of the condescending attitudes we've faced as a couple.
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sewa
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by sewa »

Zico wrote:
towny wrote:I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
:thumbup:

There are many levels on which this is a sound investment.

Making it seem altruistic is the coup de gras.

Any fool who doesn't see this deserves feuds with their in-laws.
But if you have three sons you pay for none of their weddings?
bimboman
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by bimboman »

Dave, global population is dropping from about 2050, in a century time low birth rate etc could being real,problems for man kind.

And economically wealthier populations are greener so it's best to be a capitalist too.m :thumbup:
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Zico
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Zico »

sewa wrote:
Zico wrote:
towny wrote:I'll be paying for my girl's weddings.
:thumbup:

There are many levels on which this is a sound investment.

Making it seem altruistic is the coup de gras.

Any fool who doesn't see this deserves feuds with their in-laws.
But if you have three sons you pay for none of their weddings?
You have three happy sons and three beautiful daughters-in-law hopefully. :)
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Duff Paddy
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Duff Paddy »

sewa wrote:Its a pathetic and outdated throwback to times before equality. Just a slightly more modern form of paying a dowry because the other poor family have inherited a woman who couldn't possibly have a job, no she will stay in the house and cook and clean
The dad pays or their names don't go on the invitations. The shame is usually enough to convince even the tightest of middle class dads (e.g. Openside) to pay up

In any case, the only reason that weddings have turned into such insanely expensive ostentatious affairs is because the dad has spoilt his little princess and basically ruined her for every bloke that comes along afterwards. Pricks.
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grubberkick
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by grubberkick »

globus wrote:
sewa wrote:Its a pathetic and outdated throwback to times before equality. Just a slightly more modern form of paying a dowry because the other poor family have inherited a woman who couldn't possibly have a job, no she will stay in the house and cook and clean
No it's not. It's a wonderful feeling to "give your daughter away". And to entertain the guests.

I could not pull the purse strings tight having had our own wedding reception at Hambleton Hall, which we booked for the entire weekend, courtesy of Tim Hart. (Mates rates!)

I was going to fly them all in over Rutland Water via another mate who has a helicopter but got stymied because Tim had promised the populace only one heli flight a day.

It's not what you know ..............................
Hambleton! Strikes a chord. Anyone famous used to live there?

Oops, sorry I've remembered, it was Hambledon House
Last edited by grubberkick on Wed Jun 15, 2016 4:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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globus
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by globus »

grubberkick wrote:
globus wrote:
sewa wrote:Its a pathetic and outdated throwback to times before equality. Just a slightly more modern form of paying a dowry because the other poor family have inherited a woman who couldn't possibly have a job, no she will stay in the house and cook and clean
No it's not. It's a wonderful feeling to "give your daughter away". And to entertain the guests.

I could not pull the purse strings tight having had our own wedding reception at Hambleton Hall, which we booked for the entire weekend, courtesy of Tim Hart. (Mates rates!)

I was going to fly them all in over Rutland Water via another mate who has a helicopter but got stymied because Tim had promised the populace only one heli flight a day.

It's not what you know ..............................
Hambleton! Strikes a chord. Anyone famous used to live there?
Yes. Have a look at the room names.
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Turbogoat
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Turbogoat »

grubberkick wrote:
globus wrote:
sewa wrote:Its a pathetic and outdated throwback to times before equality. Just a slightly more modern form of paying a dowry because the other poor family have inherited a woman who couldn't possibly have a job, no she will stay in the house and cook and clean
No it's not. It's a wonderful feeling to "give your daughter away". And to entertain the guests.

I could not pull the purse strings tight having had our own wedding reception at Hambleton Hall, which we booked for the entire weekend, courtesy of Tim Hart. (Mates rates!)

I was going to fly them all in over Rutland Water via another mate who has a helicopter but got stymied because Tim had promised the populace only one heli flight a day.

It's not what you know ..............................
Hambleton! Strikes a chord. Anyone famous used to live there?
They make the drink-mixer in the TV series Archer.
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globus
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by globus »

Turbogoat wrote:
grubberkick wrote:
globus wrote:
sewa wrote:Its a pathetic and outdated throwback to times before equality. Just a slightly more modern form of paying a dowry because the other poor family have inherited a woman who couldn't possibly have a job, no she will stay in the house and cook and clean
No it's not. It's a wonderful feeling to "give your daughter away". And to entertain the guests.

I could not pull the purse strings tight having had our own wedding reception at Hambleton Hall, which we booked for the entire weekend, courtesy of Tim Hart. (Mates rates!)

I was going to fly them all in over Rutland Water via another mate who has a helicopter but got stymied because Tim had promised the populace only one heli flight a day.

It's not what you know ..............................
Hambleton! Strikes a chord. Anyone famous used to live there?
They make the drink-mixer in the TV series Archer.
Got me there. Have you a link?
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grubberkick
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by grubberkick »

globus wrote:
grubberkick wrote:
globus wrote:
sewa wrote:Its a pathetic and outdated throwback to times before equality. Just a slightly more modern form of paying a dowry because the other poor family have inherited a woman who couldn't possibly have a job, no she will stay in the house and cook and clean
No it's not. It's a wonderful feeling to "give your daughter away". And to entertain the guests.

I could not pull the purse strings tight having had our own wedding reception at Hambleton Hall, which we booked for the entire weekend, courtesy of Tim Hart. (Mates rates!)

I was going to fly them all in over Rutland Water via another mate who has a helicopter but got stymied because Tim had promised the populace only one heli flight a day.

It's not what you know ..............................
Hambleton! Strikes a chord. Anyone famous used to live there?
Yes. Have a look at the room names.
Sorry, it has come to me, I edited the comment.
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globus
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by globus »

It's wonderful. Do come up. Drop off chez nous. I'll introduce you to the staff.

You'll get into the kitchen and meet the chef, Aaron is just the business.
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Silvio Berlusconi
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Silvio Berlusconi »

Has this thread covered the cost of childcare in London yet ?

Perhaps a topic for the childless folks in this parish to lecture us on ?
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globus
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by globus »

Silvio Berlusconi wrote:Has this thread covered the cost of childcare in London yet ?

Perhaps a topic for the childless folks in this parish to lecture us on ?
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village
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by village »

sorCrer wrote:
Ali's Choice wrote:
sorCrer wrote:
sewa wrote:
sorCrer wrote:I'm still not clear what the need is for intelligent, educated people to have more than 2 children?
Because they want to? Its rather simple
Ah. So it's entitlement or alternatively greed?
You're proudly childless, so it should surprise no-one that you're "not clear" why people would want any children, let alone more than two.
Now, now, MVP™ I have always stated that I thought 2 children was reasonable. I am childless. Not sure if proudly as I don't know the difference.
And we're all thankful for that contribution to the future global gene pool.
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Fangle
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Fangle »

sewa wrote:
sorCrer wrote:I'm still not clear what the need is for intelligent, educated people to have more than 2 children?
Because they want to? Its rather simple
I have been married twice and both wives wanted two children, so I have four, and the world is a better place because my genes continue.
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DragonKhan
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by DragonKhan »

I have two boys. Only is 5 in a few weeks and the other is 3 since Feb. I am only 28 so I am young enough having them and I do look at my friends living in Europe (I had a very solid offer to work in Rome before getting the ex pregnant) and think I wish I had that lifestyle.

But when my boys tell me they love me and that they miss me when I pick em up on weekends - that feeling is something nothing could ever replace. Watching them grow up, get quircky little personalities and tell me all about their week is amazing. You do not realise how much love there is inside you until you have children. You also do not realise how much your own parents were scared shitless for your safety growing up also :lol:
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Tony Blair's Therapist
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Tony Blair's Therapist »

bimboman wrote:Dave, global population is dropping from about 2050, in a century time low birth rate etc could being real,problems for man kind.

And economically wealthier populations are greener so it's best to be a capitalist too.m :thumbup:
Don't think the Yanks got that memo.
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sorCrer
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by sorCrer »

village wrote:
sorCrer wrote:
Ali's Choice wrote:
sorCrer wrote:
sewa wrote:
Because they want to? Its rather simple
Ah. So it's entitlement or alternatively greed?
You're proudly childless, so it should surprise no-one that you're "not clear" why people would want any children, let alone more than two.
Now, now, MVP™ I have always stated that I thought 2 children was reasonable. I am childless. Not sure if proudly as I don't know the difference.
And we're all thankful for that contribution to the future global gene pool.
Cheers. Except of course you'll be dead. So not much point in being thankful.
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sorCrer
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by sorCrer »

Fangle wrote:
sewa wrote:
sorCrer wrote:I'm still not clear what the need is for intelligent, educated people to have more than 2 children?
Because they want to? Its rather simple
I have been married twice and both wives wanted two children, so I have four, and the world is a better place because my genes continue.
You're also in a first world country. When last did you have a look at the Valley of a 1000 Hills? Or have a swim in the Umgeni?
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Fangle
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Fangle »

sorCrer wrote:
You're also in a first world country. When last did you have a look at the Valley of a 1000 Hills? Or have a swim in the Umgeni?
I only used to go to Natal for the Comrades and work. It was about two years ago since I visited Jo'burg, Pretoria and rural Eastern Cape.
bimboman
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by bimboman »

Tony Blair's Therapist wrote:
bimboman wrote:Dave, global population is dropping from about 2050, in a century time low birth rate etc could being real,problems for man kind.

And economically wealthier populations are greener so it's best to be a capitalist too.m :thumbup:
Don't think the Yanks got that memo.

Far more environmentally friendly than similar sized Brazil or China (and both those countries are improving rapidl as they get wealthier).
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Wilson's Toffee
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Wilson's Toffee »

Fangle wrote:
sorCrer wrote:
You're also in a first world country. When last did you have a look at the Valley of a 1000 Hills? Or have a swim in the Umgeni?
I only used to go to Natal for the Comrades and work. It was about two years ago since I visited Jo'burg, Pretoria and rural Eastern Cape.
I have two boys and a swathe of grandchildren. And I see z lot of good country, here in Africa.

Wish I had another four kids.
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Frodder
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by Frodder »

3 kids for aged 17 , 6 and 5. Yes, from 2 'marriages'

I envy friends who just go away for city breaks whenever it suits them. However I know they are just as envious of us when we do basic things like take the kids to the park etc... Different strokes for different folks
aitch@wasps
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by aitch@wasps »

Not Frankie wrote:People should have kids if they can, otherwise my kids will be paying for their pension and upkeep when they're old. Had this conversation with an old fella I worked with who thought he was right to not have kids as he wasn't burdening society with the cost attached to bringing them up. My argument was as I've already stated, he retired with a year salary as a payoff at 60 and with western medicine will potentially live till hos late 80s early 90s. This will be the norm for a vast swathe of older people who, by not having kids will do nothing other than burden the generations to come with their maintenance.
What your colleague paid in tax helped fund, amongst other things, the education system so it's swings and roundabouts really...
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MungoMan
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by MungoMan »

Steamin Beamin wrote:Don't have any and don't think I'll ever want any. I've recently separated from my girlfriend of 7 years because of this.
Got someone else preggo did you, you dirty bugger
aitch@wasps
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Re: Having children or not?

Post by aitch@wasps »

Last Line wrote:If you are selfish or self indulgent, don't have any. It's a life changer.

If you have to ask the question, don't have any either!
You dont have to be either selfish or self-indulgent, just very self-aware. Being entirely responsible for another persons welfare/wellbeing scared the pants off me and so I decided to have none of it. Interestingly, I have recurring dreams of neglecting a child or an animal from time to time which cause me severe distress.
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