Poo

henry · Post by **henry** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:23 am

Watery poo.

And it won't stop.

God help me.

Fecking snails. Or cockles.

BBC 2 · Post by **BBC 2** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:39 am

Shit thread.

henry · Post by **henry** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:41 am

BBC 2 wrote:Shit thread.

I don't know what's worse. The seemingly never-ending shit slurry exiting my arse or the never-ending shit slurry that emanates from yourself and Silver on this 'ere forum.

I'm going option 2.

BBC 2 · Post by **BBC 2** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:45 am

henry wrote:
BBC 2 wrote:Shit thread.
I don't know what's worse. The seemingly never-ending shit slurry exiting my arse or the never-ending shit slurry that emanates from yourself and Silver on this 'ere forum.

I'm going option 2.

Thought my post fairly uncontraversial.

henry · Post by **henry** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:47 am

BBC 2 wrote:
henry wrote:
BBC 2 wrote:Shit thread.
I don't know what's worse. The seemingly never-ending shit slurry exiting my arse or the never-ending shit slurry that emanates from yourself and Silver on this 'ere forum.

I'm going option 2.

Thought my post fairly uncontraversial.

Shit.

Zico · Post by **Zico** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:53 am

Been there.

I've had poo.

ovalball · Post by **ovalball** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 3:02 am

As a sufferer of Chrohns' disease - I fully sympathise.

eldanielfire · Post by **eldanielfire** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 3:36 am

henry wrote:Watery poo.

And it won't stop.

God help me.

Fecking snails. Or cockles.

I think you might be dying. Good luck in reaching 2017.

comets · Post by **comets** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 4:10 am

henry wrote:Watery poo.

And it won't stop.

God help me.

Fecking snails. Or cockles.

R.I.P Henry

* Death by Poo" .. not a great way to go..

HertzCat · Post by **HertzCat** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 4:12 am

Thread needs more whitbags...

Ted. · Post by **Ted.** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 4:36 am

Stop eating. If you don't eat you don't shit.

Unfortunately, not shitting is almost certain death in that if you don't shit you die and/or are dead.

booji boy · Post by **booji boy** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 5:12 am

Had this Xmas eve, totally self inflicted from far too many 8%+ craft beers the evening before. Not pleasant. You have my sympathy.

happyhooker · Post by **happyhooker** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 5:23 am

Feck him. He went out for a 5 hour lunch earlier today.

He'll be fine by now, whereas I'm trying to work out if my cab driver is a psycho

guy smiley · Post by **guy smiley** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 6:31 am

henry wrote:Watery poo.

And it won't stop.

God help me.

Fecking snails. Or cockles.

Might scratch a bit going in and coming out but I think you're probably onto a solution.

Zico · Post by **Zico** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 7:07 am

a great and unusual accumulation has created an interest in poo

Winnie · Post by **Winnie** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 8:53 am

henry wrote:Watery poo.

And it won't stop.

God help me.

Fecking snails. Or cockles.

Sounds like Aids to me

The bad kind as well

SecretAgentMan · Post by **SecretAgentMan** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 9:23 am

My brother and I spent a couple of days in a Kathmandu backpackers taking turns on the bog and the bucket. I'd like to say it was a bonding experience, but it really wasn't.

henry · Post by **henry** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 9:52 am

There's not much of me but what's left feels like it's being sucked into my colon and evacuated out of my anus. It's like a black hole of shit. Feels like my internal organs have been liquified.

Sefton · Post by **Sefton** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 10:16 am

I would like to say that I'm sympathetic, I really would.

Ewinkum · Post by **Ewinkum** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 10:36 am

This is a fantastic opportunity to road test all of the various arse wiping techniques available in a short timeframe. I'm particularly interested in your opinion of Toga's "one foot on the edge of the bath" method.

BBC 2 · Post by **BBC 2** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 10:38 am

henry wrote:There's not much of me but what's left feels like it's being sucked into my colon and evacuated out of my anus. It's like a black hole of shit. Feels like my internal organs have been liquified.

We'll be expecting some decent posts from now on then?

henry · Post by **henry** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 10:52 am

Ewinkum wrote:This is a fantastic opportunity to road test all of the various arse wiping techniques available in a short timeframe. I'm particularly interested in your opinion of Toga's "one foot on the edge of the bath" method.

I'm eying up the shower at the moment.

Calculus · Post by **Calculus** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 11:02 am

Sefton wrote:I would like to say that I'm sympathetic, I really would.

It's his wife/girlfriends/lovers/children I feel sorry for.

Mick Mannock · Post by **Mick Mannock** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 11:45 am

Just when we all thought 2016 could not get any worse

We had to read that

tabascoboy · Post by **tabascoboy** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:02 pm

It's dire here

henry · Post by **henry** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:06 pm

Approaching watery shit no. 456.

I'm now looking it as a cleansing exercise. Should be squeaky clean for 2017. Or dead.

SamShark · Post by **SamShark** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:15 pm

Does this have anything to do with the thick fog that's enveloped London over the last 24 hours?

Post by **Hong Kong** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:17 pm

henry wrote:Approaching watery shit no. 456.

I'm now looking it as a cleansing exercise. Should be squeaky clean for 2017. Or dead.

Who's going to check for you?

SamShark · Post by **SamShark** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:21 pm

Hong Kong wrote:
henry wrote:Approaching watery shit no. 456.

I'm now looking it as a cleansing exercise. Should be squeaky clean for 2017. Or dead.
Who's going to check for you?

I've sent his details to Channel 4's Embarrassing Bodies.

They said yes, but perhaps for a 1 hour long 'special'

tabascoboy · Post by **tabascoboy** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:22 pm

SamShark wrote:
Hong Kong wrote:
henry wrote:Approaching watery shit no. 456.

I'm now looking it as a cleansing exercise. Should be squeaky clean for 2017. Or dead.
Who's going to check for you?
I've sent his details to Channel 4's Embarrassing Bodies.

They said yes, but perhaps for a 1 hour long 'special'

That's either constipation or an extreme log.

terryfinch · Post by **terryfinch** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:22 pm

On a tangent, why do dogs manage to shit 'clean' without get shit all over their arse, while humans can't?

Keith · Post by **Keith** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:25 pm

What a crappy end to 2016...

Post by **Hong Kong** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:26 pm

tabascoboy wrote:
SamShark wrote:
Hong Kong wrote:
henry wrote:Approaching watery shit no. 456.

I'm now looking it as a cleansing exercise. Should be squeaky clean for 2017. Or dead.
Who's going to check for you?
I've sent his details to Channel 4's Embarrassing Bodies.

They said yes, but perhaps for a 1 hour long 'special'
That's either constipation or an extreme log.

I think he's out the bog again...

globus · Post by **globus** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:30 pm

tabascoboy wrote:It's dire here

Phonetically correct of course TB1 !

Eggs and rice can slow down the peristaltic action but the important thing is to take in fluids.

I recommend wine or beer. There's loads of water in them.

TrailApe · Post by **TrailApe** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:35 pm

At last - a thread on which I feel eminently qualified to enter a comment.

Many decades ago, just around 20th December I was struck down by the liquids. At that time I lived to party so there was no question of withdrawing from the arena, so what to do?

I found that a constant application (internally - by mouth) of neat vodka did the trick. Kept me upright and drinking.

The negative side to that was that it did really dehydrate me and it made unpeeling my contact lenses a daunting prospect at the end of each session.

Took me to the new year to clear up.

C69 · Post by **C69** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:37 pm

So henry isn't full of shit atm.

globus · Post by **globus** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:56 pm

Hello TrailApe. I note your location. I wish to re-build the Wall to prevent Scots from invading God's country. This, to be combined with a "shoot on sight" policy. There will be a large reward for anyone who gets Nicola.

Fangle · Post by **Fangle** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:14 pm

HertzCat wrote:Thread needs more whitbags...

What I was thinking.

henry · Post by **henry** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:21 pm

It continues

C69 · Post by **C69** » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:23 pm

henry wrote:(sh)It continues