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Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:17 pm
by globus
backrow wrote:
RuggaBugga wrote:
globus wrote:Never got this "fishy smell" thing. A bit of preparation is required, involving a lovely shower with a pretty woman.

Soap is useful.
They don't actually put soap up there you know... and then there's the whole getting wet thing.

Mind you, five minutes of you prattling on and any woman would be drier than Gandhi's flip flop.
depends where his mouth & lips are whilst he's giving one of these highly plausible anecdotes !

Globus :smug: "So, I built the lifts in the Sears tower in '88 *nosh nosh nosh*

Management :shock: :shock: :o :o oooh yeah OMG

Globus "the Head *nosh* of security there, Jeff *nosh* mcginty, took me *nosh* out for a pint of shampoo at the *nosh* Boars head * nose*

Management :o :o :o :o :o *squirt*



etc
I have no idea what you are rambling on about. Take forty winks.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:22 pm
by RuggaBugga
globus wrote:
RuggaBugga wrote:
globus wrote:Never got this "fishy smell" thing. A bit of preparation is required, involving a lovely shower with a pretty woman.

Soap is useful.
They don't actually put soap up there you know... and then there's the whole getting wet thing.

Mind you, five minutes of you prattling on and any woman would be drier than Gandhi's flip flop.
I've done ok thanks. And I am probably more interesting to women than you are.
You remind me of the Dad in the M. Night Shym-aliens episode of Rick and Morty.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:23 pm
by backrow
you have no idea ?

Poor old Management ...

does she spend a lot of time with the BBC ?

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:24 pm
by Frodder
backrow wrote:
RuggaBugga wrote:
globus wrote:Never got this "fishy smell" thing. A bit of preparation is required, involving a lovely shower with a pretty woman.

Soap is useful.
They don't actually put soap up there you know... and then there's the whole getting wet thing.

Mind you, five minutes of you prattling on and any woman would be drier than Gandhi's flip flop.
depends where his mouth & lips are whilst he's giving one of these highly plausible anecdotes !

Globus :smug: "So, I built the lifts in the Sears tower in '88 *nosh nosh nosh*

Management :shock: :shock: :o :o oooh yeah OMG

Globus "the Head *nosh* of security there, Jeff *nosh* mcginty, took me *nosh* out for a pint of shampoo at the *nosh* Boars head * nose*

Management :o :o :o :o :o *squirt*



etc
I think you've overstepped the mark there BR

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:17 pm
by Keith
Christ Yeeb :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:31 pm
by globus
Keith wrote:Christ Yeeb :lol: :lol: :lol:
Kindly do not take his name in vain. That's Christ, not Yeeb.

I'm built of sterner stuff, so it's not a big deal.

That's what he's missing. A big deal. You have to have intelligence to do that. He's apparently lacking in that department.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:34 pm
by Keith
Not sure what you're on about, but :thumbup:

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:43 pm
by globus
Keith wrote:Not sure what you're on about, but :thumbup:
I am in the swamp on this one.

I was always a bit miffed that my tennis partner was about 1/2 inches taller than me.

Then she took her shoes off. Victory!

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:44 pm
by Keith
globus wrote:I am in the swamp on this one.
I think that's what Yeeb was suggesting ;)

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:51 pm
by pieman99
very good yeeb :lol:

Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:11 pm
by globus
pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb :lol:

Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.

I got the connection through the late Gerry Bron and that my dad used to do the accounts for Chris Barber.

Life is a complicated business. I have always found that cultivating people within a circle is a good way to go.

Now. I'm in the process of doing a modern "Flash Mob". Got the dance teacher on board and her husband who films and edits.

So we are heading there. Struggling with the music and that's my job.

At the moment I am running with a start with "Upside Down" by Chic and, of course, Diana Ross.

Suggestions are always welcolmed.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:17 pm
by pieman99
globus wrote:
pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb :lol:

Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.
Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:26 pm
by happyhooker
pieman99 wrote:
globus wrote:
pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb :lol:

Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.
Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.
Mornington crescent would be a closer fit to globby's pointless, meandering aimless prose style

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:28 pm
by globus
pieman99 wrote:
globus wrote:
pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb :lol:

Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.
Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.
Not really.

I did write the one about the "old archivists" (appropriate) and the one about her underlying appearance from beneath a ladder.

However, Ian Naismith writes most of it with his team.

I miss Humph. Enormously.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:37 pm
by globus
happyhooker wrote:
pieman99 wrote:
globus wrote:
pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb :lol:

Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.
Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.
Mornington crescent would be a closer fit to globby's pointless, meandering aimless prose style
Reasonable.

And fair.

I was at a recording when they went off on this one and Sandi Toksvig had just joined.

The bit, which was never broadcast, about the Royal Family was totally off the hill.

I have pretty well all of Humph's allusions to Samantha.

Including a reference to ice cream. Now fellas. Look that up.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:43 pm
by globus
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:51 pm
by happyhooker
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
pieman99 wrote:
globus wrote:
pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb :lol:

Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.
Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.
Mornington crescent would be a closer fit to globby's pointless, meandering aimless prose style
Reasonable.

And fair.

I was at a recording when they went off on this one and Sandi Toksvig had just joined.

The bit, which was never broadcast, about the Royal Family was totally off the hill.

I have pretty well all of Humph's allusions to Samantha.

Including a reference to ice cream. Now fellas. Look that up.
It's quite famously humph's last joke on the show.

(Well it is famous for me at least) geek.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:53 pm
by happyhooker
globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 5:04 pm
by globus
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"
I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.

Now. Find the ice-cream man.

I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.

As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 5:15 pm
by happyhooker
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"
I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.

Now. Find the ice-cream man.

I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.

As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.

I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.

I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 7:05 pm
by backrow
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"
I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.

Now. Find the ice-cream man.

I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.

As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.

I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.

I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
Word for word hey?

It seems Globus must have written for Viz too: Aldridge Prior

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:01 pm
by fatcat
:lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:09 pm
by Jeff the Bear
Frodder wrote:
backrow wrote:
RuggaBugga wrote:
globus wrote:Never got this "fishy smell" thing. A bit of preparation is required, involving a lovely shower with a pretty woman.

Soap is useful.
They don't actually put soap up there you know... and then there's the whole getting wet thing.

Mind you, five minutes of you prattling on and any woman would be drier than Gandhi's flip flop.
depends where his mouth & lips are whilst he's giving one of these highly plausible anecdotes !

Globus :smug: "So, I built the lifts in the Sears tower in '88 *nosh nosh nosh*

Management :shock: :shock: :o :o oooh yeah OMG

Globus "the Head *nosh* of security there, Jeff *nosh* mcginty, took me *nosh* out for a pint of shampoo at the *nosh* Boars head * nose*

Management :o :o :o :o :o *squirt*



etc
I think you've overstepped the mark there BR
Indeed. Getting your nose in up there is a bit much.

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:12 pm
by danny_fitz
backrow wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"
I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.

Now. Find the ice-cream man.

I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.

As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.

I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.

I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
Word for word hey?

It seems Globus must have written for Viz too: Aldridge Prior
You would think he would have learned from his 'family recipe' saga

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 11:22 pm
by J Man
You guys are the morons for feeding him. What the hell to do get out of it?

Re: Height

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 11:30 pm
by iarmhiman
Jesus Yeeb :lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:13 am
by happyhooker
J Man wrote:You guys are the morons for feeding him. What the hell to do get out of it?
A 'you'???

You're presumably not around that much on our day shift. He can, within seconds, turn a thread entirely into whatever subject he's decided to shoehorn into it. Incessantly. Even if it means replying to himself.

I put him on ignore for a bit, but that doesn't work thanks to the quote function.

The only chance of laying into him is by catching him out in a whopper, and as he's impervious to shame and they won't ban him, it's all we've got.

Pity, cos he's an interesting and erudite poster, especially if you're into crosswords.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:02 am
by fatcat
happyhooker wrote:
J Man wrote:You guys are the morons for feeding him. What the hell to do get out of it?
A 'you'???

You're presumably not around that much on our day shift. He can, within seconds, turn a thread entirely into whatever subject he's decided to shoehorn into it. Incessantly. Even if it means replying to himself.

I put him on ignore for a bit, but that doesn't work thanks to the quote function.

The only chance of laying into him is by catching him out in a whopper, and as he's impervious to shame and they won't ban him, it's all we've got.

Pity, cos he's an interesting and erudite poster, especially if you're into crosswords.
Ignore works just fine. People only tend to quote his most outrageous brags etc, telling people he's more interesting than them blah blah. You get all the fun and little of the real tedium. 8)

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:59 pm
by RuggaBugga
Another first google result mince pie :lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:21 pm
by globus
I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.

Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.

What a load of codswallop.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:43 pm
by happyhooker
globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.

Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.

What a load of codswallop.
Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.

Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.

I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:46 pm
by globus
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.

Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.

What a load of codswallop.
Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.

Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.

I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
Wot?

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:48 pm
by happyhooker
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.

Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.

What a load of codswallop.
Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.

Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.

I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
Wot?
Which part of the posts bove or below, are you finding it difficult to comprehend?
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"
I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.

Now. Find the ice-cream man.

I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.

As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.

I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.

I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:55 pm
by globus
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.

Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.

What a load of codswallop.
Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.

Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.

I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
Wot?
Which part of the posts bove or below, are you finding it difficult to comprehend?
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"
I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.

Now. Find the ice-cream man.

I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.

As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.

I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.

I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
I give up. It's ok. I just never did any of this. And I do not care if you think otherwise.

Here's a conundrum for you. What ??????????? That will provide hours of brain teasing and no element of result.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:58 pm
by danny_fitz
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.

Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.

What a load of codswallop.
Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.

Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.

I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
Wot?
Which part of the posts bove or below, are you finding it difficult to comprehend?
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"
I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.

Now. Find the ice-cream man.

I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.

As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.

I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.

I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
I don't fib,

I do wish people would stop making things up.

Keep swinging.

You can't lay a finger on me.

As a 10 I am used to dealing with your sort and Thurrock backrows.

Right I am off to play the saxophone.

I have installed a pressure sensor to my sax key guard so that door number 3 in my triple fronted garage opens every time I play the solo in Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street.

I actually organised a mortgage for Bob Holness

I have a life. Try getting one.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:01 pm
by globus
Not bad, but I never met Bob.

"Give me a P Bob"

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:35 pm
by backrow
If you did go on there, bob would ask you "What C, are you ?"

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:41 pm
by danny_fitz
globus wrote:Not bad, but I never met Bob.

"Give me a P Bob"

"What 'P' is the act of taking the work or an idea of someone else and passing it off as one's own?"

Image

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:42 pm
by backrow
Globby's Golden run - can anyone do it ?

TRFC - a team
BS - nocturnal activity
IL - Schindler did this
TTS - in the garden
CWTMD - electro percussion
GAL - oft given advice

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 3:13 pm
by globus
danny_fitz wrote:
globus wrote:Not bad, but I never met Bob.

"Give me a P Bob"

"What 'P' is the act of taking the work or an idea of someone else and passing it off as one's own?"

Image
You clearly do not know how life works in reality.