Planet Rugby Forum

Not been to Sri Lanka but paid for the newlyweds to go there.

I'm just a ruddy bank. And that's a financial term, not a damp place to go fishing.

I don't go fishing. We used to trail rods off the back of the yacht north of Tortola. That's where one of the biggest tuna was hooked.

To be honest, I think it is one of the most boring pastimes. But I do like my fish.

We set up to have the freshest one cooked in the world. North Norfolk coast. Derek hooks one.

I run over the dunes with it and fires up the grill. Slaps fish on with a bit of butter and seasoning.

The rest arrive, waiting expectantly.

It was appalling! But the effort was put in.

le chat wrote:

globus wrote:My great sailing mate Paul Bancroft was a big bloke. His kids are truly massive.

I wrote much of his funeral service with the now Archdeacon of Northampton. Rev Ormiston.

St Peter's Church and son comes out with "Great tits dad" when referring to his new wife.

The Rev is now in Northampton, nearer the Saints!

Why do so many people ask you to write their funeral/wedding services? wouldn't their families rather do it?

It is strange, every funeral I have been to the service eulogy has been written by a close family member of the deceased with maybe wider input from friends.

Outside of the above personal speeches pretty much all denominations of Christianity have very prescribed orders of service for every type of event, funerals, weddings, christenings etc. Maybe there is some latitude with regards to hymns and other personal touches but surely the priest sets out the framework of the service as instructed by his churches approved template.

As an ordained bishop globus can do as he pleases.

le chat wrote:

globus wrote:My great sailing mate Paul Bancroft was a big bloke. His kids are truly massive.

I wrote much of his funeral service with the now Archdeacon of Northampton. Rev Ormiston.

St Peter's Church and son comes out with "Great tits dad" when referring to his new wife.

The Rev is now in Northampton, nearer the Saints!

Why do so many people ask you to write their funeral/wedding services? wouldn't their families rather do it?

They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

Word gets around.

danny_fitz wrote:

le chat wrote:

globus wrote:My great sailing mate Paul Bancroft was a big bloke. His kids are truly massive.

I wrote much of his funeral service with the now Archdeacon of Northampton. Rev Ormiston.

St Peter's Church and son comes out with "Great tits dad" when referring to his new wife.

The Rev is now in Northampton, nearer the Saints!

Why do so many people ask you to write their funeral/wedding services? wouldn't their families rather do it?

It is strange, every funeral I have been to the service eulogy has been written by a close family member of the deceased with maybe wider input from friends.

Outside of the above personal speeches pretty much all denominations of Christianity have very prescribed orders of service for every type of event, funerals, weddings, christenings etc. Maybe there is some latitude with regards to hymns and other personal touches but surely the priest sets out the framework of the service as instructed by his churches approved template.

You are quite right, in a way but there is absolutely no "template". But I take great pains to do what the family require.

I have written my own goodbye. It includes "Jerusalem" as a bit of homage to my rugby playing days.

It was played brilliantly at my wedding by the head of brass and organist at Oundle School.

You have to pick up what the family require and that's not easy.

I've also written my headstone.

Have a go at what that says.

globus wrote:

le chat wrote:

globus wrote:My great sailing mate Paul Bancroft was a big bloke. His kids are truly massive.

I wrote much of his funeral service with the now Archdeacon of Northampton. Rev Ormiston.

St Peter's Church and son comes out with "Great tits dad" when referring to his new wife.

The Rev is now in Northampton, nearer the Saints!

Why do so many people ask you to write their funeral/wedding services? wouldn't their families rather do it?

They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

Word gets around.

that is what I am getting at, you 'do them' how did you get into that when its generally close family that take control of this type of thing?

Like when Paul died his son's went, "why don't we get Globus to write Dad's service, he does them-and he doesn't even charge!" "Ok that is a great idea to let Dad's old sailing buddy do that, i'll ring the archdeacon to let him know"

"Hi Archdeacon, we're going to ask Globus to write Dad's service, he does them, so can you assist him with that please?"

"Yes sure, I heard he can get mate's rates at the local printing firm too!"

globus wrote:
I have written my own goodbye.

Why am I not surprised and why am I reminded of Benders self penned funeral in Futurama.

Got no idea what you are on about.

I would like to publish on here what I did but that would be inappropriate as these things are extremely personal.

I just do it for people.

Many are no longer church going folk. I was the Head Chorister at Christ Church Eaton so I know a thing or two about arranging a service.

I have done some classics. If you know "Ancient and Modern" you can pick a few bones out of that.

So, what would you like following your demise?

globus wrote:

danny_fitz wrote:

le chat wrote:

globus wrote:My great sailing mate Paul Bancroft was a big bloke. His kids are truly massive.

I wrote much of his funeral service with the now Archdeacon of Northampton. Rev Ormiston.

St Peter's Church and son comes out with "Great tits dad" when referring to his new wife.

The Rev is now in Northampton, nearer the Saints!

Why do so many people ask you to write their funeral/wedding services? wouldn't their families rather do it?

It is strange, every funeral I have been to the service eulogy has been written by a close family member of the deceased with maybe wider input from friends.

Outside of the above personal speeches pretty much all denominations of Christianity have very prescribed orders of service for every type of event, funerals, weddings, christenings etc. Maybe there is some latitude with regards to hymns and other personal touches but surely the priest sets out the framework of the service as instructed by his churches approved template.

You are quite right, in a way but there is absolutely no "template". But I take great pains to do what the family require.

I have written my own goodbye. It includes "Jerusalem" as a bit of homage to my rugby playing days.

It was played brilliantly at my wedding by the head of brass and organist at Oundle School.

You have to pick up what the family require and that's not easy.

I've also written my headstone.

Have a go at what that says.

Thank f uck

danny_fitz wrote:

globus wrote:
I have written my own goodbye.

Why am I not surprised and why am I reminded of Benders self penned funeral in Futurama.

Tell you what, it's quite light and funny to those who know me.

Most of my friends and relatives know my daft sense of humour.

Now. Pick a quote to go on my headstone.

backrow wrote:

globus wrote:

danny_fitz wrote:

le chat wrote:

globus wrote:My great sailing mate Paul Bancroft was a big bloke. His kids are truly massive.

I wrote much of his funeral service with the now Archdeacon of Northampton. Rev Ormiston.

St Peter's Church and son comes out with "Great tits dad" when referring to his new wife.

The Rev is now in Northampton, nearer the Saints!

Why do so many people ask you to write their funeral/wedding services? wouldn't their families rather do it?

It is strange, every funeral I have been to the service eulogy has been written by a close family member of the deceased with maybe wider input from friends.

Outside of the above personal speeches pretty much all denominations of Christianity have very prescribed orders of service for every type of event, funerals, weddings, christenings etc. Maybe there is some latitude with regards to hymns and other personal touches but surely the priest sets out the framework of the service as instructed by his churches approved template.

You are quite right, in a way but there is absolutely no "template". But I take great pains to do what the family require.

I have written my own goodbye. It includes "Jerusalem" as a bit of homage to my rugby playing days.

It was played brilliantly at my wedding by the head of brass and organist at Oundle School.

You have to pick up what the family require and that's not easy.

I've also written my headstone.

Have a go at what that says.

Thank f uck

Well, that's moderately original. But possibly not my style.

globus wrote:Got no idea what you are on about.

I would like to publish on here what I did but that would be inappropriate as these things are extremely personal.

I just do it for people.

Many are no longer church going folk. I was the Head Chorister at Christ Church Eaton so I know a thing or two about arranging a service.

I have done some classics. If you know "Ancient and Modern" you can pick a few bones out of that.

So, what would you like following your demise?

I don't know but I am sure somebody in my family will sort it rather than some character seemingly omnipresent in Oundle

globus wrote:

danny_fitz wrote:

globus wrote:
I have written my own goodbye.

Why am I not surprised and why am I reminded of Benders self penned funeral in Futurama.

Tell you what, it's quite light and funny to those who know me.

Most of my friends and relatives know my daft sense of humour.

Now. Pick a quote to go on my headstone.

Not sure of the exact words, but I'm imagining that the inscription keeps on going below the turf?

globus wrote:Got no idea what you are on about.

I would like to publish on here what I did but that would be inappropriate as these things are extremely personal.

I just do it for people.

Many are no longer church going folk. I was the Head Chorister at Christ Church Eaton so I know a thing or two about arranging a service.

I have done some classics. If you know "Ancient and Modern" you can pick a few bones out of that.

So, what would you like following your demise?

You as far away from my corpse as possible so I don't run the risk of losing my cranium and allow actual qualified real doctors to recycle my organs for those who need them and for whatever is left to be donated to science. Then for those close to me to have a big piss up down the pub. No miserable religious sky fairy nonsense, just a great big piss up down the boozer.

here's a headstone for ya

le chat wrote:

globus wrote:Got no idea what you are on about.

I would like to publish on here what I did but that would be inappropriate as these things are extremely personal.

I just do it for people.

Many are no longer church going folk. I was the Head Chorister at Christ Church Eaton so I know a thing or two about arranging a service.

I have done some classics. If you know "Ancient and Modern" you can pick a few bones out of that.

So, what would you like following your demise?

I don't know but I am sure somebody in my family will sort it rather than some character seemingly omnipresent in Oundle

I do it for those who ask. If they want to do it themselves, that's up to them.

I don't charge, nor do I try to nudge the relatives in any direction.

A marriage or burial needs some structure. It's not rocket science.

I did a bit for a neighbour whose dog had just died and a certain member of this parish knows I sorted out a headstone for his dog.

It's a combination of knowledge and experience.

I am currently compiling a DVD to welcome twins to my grand-daughter.

I like doing thing for relatives and people. I don't need to work, so it's nice to get the pleasure from just making other's lives a bit better.

backrow wrote:here's a headstone for ya

I have no idea what that represents.

globus wrote: I do it for those who ask. If they want to do it themselves, that's up to them.

Well of course it's upto them

I don't charge, nor do I try to nudge the relatives in any direction.

it doesn't cost anything to write a little bit for a lost relative anyway so still not following why they ask you

A marriage or burial needs some structure. It's not rocket science.

Exactly, so why are they asking you to do it?

I did a bit for a neighbour whose dog had just died and a certain member of this parish knows I sorted out a headstone for his dog.

Why did he ask you to get a headstone for his dog. Wasn't he capable?

It's a combination of knowledge and experience.

How did you first get into all of this?

I am currently compiling a DVD to welcome twins to my grand-daughter.

What does that have to do with the price of fish?

I like doing thing for relatives and people. I don't need to work, so it's nice to get the pleasure from just making other's lives a bit better.

As you've mentioned several times already but I am still trying to focus in on why they're asking you rather than do it themselves

I thought you lived in Oundle all you life globby.

le chat wrote:

globus wrote: I do it for those who ask. If they want to do it themselves, that's up to them.

Well of course it's upto them

I don't charge, nor do I try to nudge the relatives in any direction.

it doesn't cost anything to write a little bit for a lost relative anyway so still not following why they ask you

A marriage or burial needs some structure. It's not rocket science.

Exactly, so why are they asking you to do it?

I did a bit for a neighbour whose dog had just died and a certain member of this parish knows I sorted out a headstone for his dog.

Why did he ask you to get a headstone for his dog. Wasn't he capable?

It's a combination of knowledge and experience.

How did you first get into all of this?

I am currently compiling a DVD to welcome twins to my grand-daughter.

What does that have to do with the price of fish?

I like doing thing for relatives and people. I don't need to work, so it's nice to get the pleasure from just making other's lives a bit better.

As you've mentioned several times already but I am still trying to focus in on why they're asking you rather than do it themselves

I'm increasingly beginning to believe the people of Oundle are a bit simple in that they seem to need the constant assistance of Globby in their life affairs.

globus wrote:

backrow wrote:here's a headstone for ya

I have no idea what that represents.

its so all those famous people you have annoyed can piss on your grave

danny_fitz wrote:

le chat wrote:

globus wrote: I do it for those who ask. If they want to do it themselves, that's up to them.

Well of course it's upto them

I don't charge, nor do I try to nudge the relatives in any direction.

it doesn't cost anything to write a little bit for a lost relative anyway so still not following why they ask you

A marriage or burial needs some structure. It's not rocket science.

Exactly, so why are they asking you to do it?

I did a bit for a neighbour whose dog had just died and a certain member of this parish knows I sorted out a headstone for his dog.

Why did he ask you to get a headstone for his dog. Wasn't he capable?

It's a combination of knowledge and experience.

How did you first get into all of this?

I am currently compiling a DVD to welcome twins to my grand-daughter.

What does that have to do with the price of fish?

I like doing thing for relatives and people. I don't need to work, so it's nice to get the pleasure from just making other's lives a bit better.

As you've mentioned several times already but I am still trying to focus in on why they're asking you rather than do it themselves

I'm increasingly beginning to believe the people of Oundle are a bit simple in that they seem to need the constant assistance of Globby in their life affairs.

Haha that is the vibe I get. Could be one of these little Sunday afternoon light comedies that aren't funny with him as the main character. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc7dmu4G8oc this would be the theme.

"Oh darn it, the insurance renewal has gone up in price Mr Jones" "Oh buggery bugger Mrs Jones, I'll have to ask Globus if he knows anything about insurance"

Anonymous. wrote:I thought you lived in Oundle all you life globby.

Nope. Try Norwich and Cambridge just as a start.

Then a few spots abroad in France and Spain. Look up Santander.

I came here to join The Management as her kids were here at the School and I thought that the right thing to do.

Bit of a pain. But the rewards have been terrific.

globus wrote:

danny_fitz wrote:

globus wrote:
I have written my own goodbye.

Why am I not surprised and why am I reminded of Benders self penned funeral in Futurama.

Tell you what, it's quite light and funny to those who know me.

Most of my friends and relatives know my daft sense of humour.

Now. Pick a quote to go on my headstone.

I'm coming for you Thurrock #7

Or

I once knocked boots with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

backrow wrote:

globus wrote:

backrow wrote:here's a headstone for ya

I have no idea what that represents.

its so all those famous people you have annoyed can piss on your grave

A lot of them have died already.

I did annoy one by doing a bit of a magic trick that he couldn't pick up.

Basically it consisted of losing a load of tissues over his head.

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Imagine if your funeral director sponsor had a quid for everytime he heard "but we always used to get a printed eulogy back in Oundle"

globus wrote:

Anonymous. wrote:I thought you lived in Oundle all you life globby.

Nope. Try Norwich and Cambridge just as a start.

Then a few spots abroad in France and Spain. Look up Santander.

I came here to join The Management as her kids were here at the School and I thought that the right thing to do.

Bit of a pain. But the rewards have been terrific.

Just looking up Cambridge but I'll get onto Santander

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Your friends and acquaintances don't live and die in Oundle do they. I can well see how this could be a peculiar Oundle thing.

le chat wrote:

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Imagine if your funeral director sponsor had a quid for everytime he heard "but we always used to get a printed eulogy back in Oundle"

What are you on about?

I picked this trade up as the service sheets from the funeral directors were very poor. The fonts they used were horrid.

I put in photos and some light fun, based upon the deceased, as provided.

Plus quite a lot of knowledge of possible hymns.

Inter alia. And that's a bit of a joke.

Anonymous. wrote:

globus wrote:

Anonymous. wrote:I thought you lived in Oundle all you life globby.

Nope. Try Norwich and Cambridge just as a start.

Then a few spots abroad in France and Spain. Look up Santander.

I came here to join The Management as her kids were here at the School and I thought that the right thing to do.

Bit of a pain. But the rewards have been terrific.

Just looking up Cambridge but I'll get onto Santander

I used to work for Abbey National. That might help.

globus wrote:

danny_fitz wrote:

le chat wrote:

globus wrote:My great sailing mate Paul Bancroft was a big bloke. His kids are truly massive.

I wrote much of his funeral service with the now Archdeacon of Northampton. Rev Ormiston.

St Peter's Church and son comes out with "Great tits dad" when referring to his new wife.

The Rev is now in Northampton, nearer the Saints!

Why do so many people ask you to write their funeral/wedding services? wouldn't their families rather do it?

I've also written my headstone.

Have a go at what that says.

No idea but it will need to be fecking big.

Anonymous. wrote:

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Your friends and acquaintances don't live and die in Oundle do they. I can well see how this could be a peculiar Oundle thing.

My family did ours for my dad's funeral. Funeral director just did the PA system, cremating etc. Still charged nearly $10k the ripoff bastards.

globus wrote:

backrow wrote:

globus wrote:

backrow wrote:here's a headstone for ya

I have no idea what that represents.

its so all those famous people you have annoyed can piss on your grave

A lot of them have died already.

I did annoy one by doing a bit of a magic trick that he couldn't pick up.

Basically it consisted of losing a load of tissues over his head.

I see.
I too have lost many a load over tissues over my head.

Anonymous. wrote:

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Your friends and acquaintances don't live and die in Oundle do they. I can well see how this could be a peculiar Oundle thing.

Funnily enough, the son in law of one of our oldest and best loved alickadoos moved to Oundle and works at the school. He also joined the local rugby club and I think is still on the committee there.
Think he is due to attend a former players lunch at my club in November will ask him if he knows anyone called Globus in Oundle or any of the local town councillors!!

SaintK wrote:

Anonymous. wrote:

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Your friends and acquaintances don't live and die in Oundle do they. I can well see how this could be a peculiar Oundle thing.

Funnily enough, the son in law of one of our oldest and best loved alickadoos moved to Oundle and works at the school. He also joined the local rugby club and I think is still on the committee there.
Think he is due to attend a former players lunch at my club in November will ask him if he knows anyone called Globus in Oundle or any of the local town councillors!!

We'd be happy to host him for a beer.

What part of the school is he in? Just had a lesson from the head of percussion there and our friends played and sang at our wedding reception and those of the kiddiwinks.

With the trumpet player from the Barmy Army and his wife.

And a renowned opera singer.

But I could just be fibbing. I'll let others decide.

globus wrote:

SaintK wrote:

Anonymous. wrote:

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Your friends and acquaintances don't live and die in Oundle do they. I can well see how this could be a peculiar Oundle thing.

Funnily enough, the son in law of one of our oldest and best loved alickadoos moved to Oundle and works at the school. He also joined the local rugby club and I think is still on the committee there.
Think he is due to attend a former players lunch at my club in November will ask him if he knows anyone called Globus in Oundle or any of the local town councillors!!

We'd be happy to host him for a beer.

What part of the school is he in? Just had a lesson from the head of percussion there and our friends played and sang at our wedding reception and those of the kiddiwinks.

With the trumpet player from the Barmy Army and his wife.

And a renowned opera singer.

But I could just be fibbing. I'll let others decide.

LG?

globus wrote:

SaintK wrote:

Anonymous. wrote:

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Your friends and acquaintances don't live and die in Oundle do they. I can well see how this could be a peculiar Oundle thing.

Funnily enough, the son in law of one of our oldest and best loved alickadoos moved to Oundle and works at the school. He also joined the local rugby club and I think is still on the committee there.
Think he is due to attend a former players lunch at my club in November will ask him if he knows anyone called Globus in Oundle or any of the local town councillors!!

We'd be happy to host him for a beer.

What part of the school is he in? Just had a lesson from the head of percussion there and our friends played and sang at our wedding reception and those of the kiddiwinks.

With the trumpet player from the Barmy Army and his wife.

And a renowned opera singer.

But I could just be fibbing. I'll let others decide.

You slip from truth to fiction so seamlessly sometimes I doubt if you even know when you are fibbing.

globus wrote:

SaintK wrote:

Anonymous. wrote:

SaintK wrote:

globus wrote:They don't. But they know that I do them, I don't charge and I get the printing done by a local firm for "mates' rates".

We have a Funeral Director who is a sponsor of my club, all club members receive a club discount for his services! Unfortunately, I seem to be attending more funerals of members of my vintage or older each season.
In all the funerals I have attended over the years I have never seen a eulogy printed out and in nearly all the cases the Funeral Director has arranged the printing of the order of service.

Your friends and acquaintances don't live and die in Oundle do they. I can well see how this could be a peculiar Oundle thing.

Funnily enough, the son in law of one of our oldest and best loved alickadoos moved to Oundle and works at the school. He also joined the local rugby club and I think is still on the committee there.
Think he is due to attend a former players lunch at my club in November will ask him if he knows anyone called Globus in Oundle or any of the local town councillors!!

We'd be happy to host him for a beer.

What part of the school is he in? Just had a lesson from the head of percussion there and our friends played and sang at our wedding reception and those of the kiddiwinks.

With the trumpet player from the Barmy Army and his wife.

And a renowned opera singer.

But I could just be fibbing. I'll let others decide.

Oundle school has a Head of Percussion?

RuggaBugga wrote:Oundle school has a Head of Percussion?

They have a "head of" for all instruments!!
At £35k a year for boarding and £20k+ a year for day attendance they can probably just about afford it.