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Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 3:35 pm
by Rugby2023
"I feed the Kiddywinks, I sometimes feed the grand-kiddywinks too"

:lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 3:40 pm
by comets
She is dating the Brother of Ivanka Trump's husband :/ who matches her in height

Image

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 3:55 pm
by danny_fitz
backrow wrote:I didn't know parklife jokes had been made about him before until I browsed his recent posts to be fair - seems samshark invented this.

In the country lyrics can stay pretty much as they are tbf
Well with a few tweaks we get.
Northamptonshire dweller, successful fella

Thought to himself oops I've got a lot of money
I'm on a full final salary (defined benefit)
I'm a professional fantasist but my heart's not in it
I'm paying the price of fibbing at the limit
Caught up in the centuries of lies
It preys on him, that attention is getting thin

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He’s been in the morgue at 2am sawing off heads in the country
He was a sailing instructor in the country
He can solve a rubiks cube in under 2 mins in the country

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He's owns a Velocette bike in the country
He writes gags for TV in the country
He takes the remembrance day salute in the country

In the country, in the country

Blow, blow me out I am so sad, on my Beneteau
Blow, blow me out I am so sad, my fibs are wasted on you

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He plays the guitar, sax and drums in the country
He did a mortgage for a police officer and his wife in the country
He ran up Mount Teide in the middle of the night in the country

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He's speaks fluent French in the country
He played to a very decent level as skipper in the country
He trained at the Ecole de Cuisine La Varenne in the country

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:05 pm
by globus
I'm having a sulk.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:07 pm
by jdogscoop
danny_fitz wrote:
backrow wrote:I didn't know parklife jokes had been made about him before until I browsed his recent posts to be fair - seems samshark invented this.

In the country lyrics can stay pretty much as they are tbf
Well with a few tweaks we get.
Northamptonshire dweller, successful fella

Thought to himself oops I've got a lot of money
I'm on a full final salary (defined benefit)
I'm a professional fantasist but my heart's not in it
I'm paying the price of fibbing at the limit
Caught up in the centuries of lies
It preys on him, that attention is getting thin

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He’s been in the morgue at 2am sawing off heads in the country
He was a sailing instructor in the country
He can solve a rubiks cube in under 2 mins in the country

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He's owns a Velocette bike in the country
He writes gags for TV in the country
He takes the remembrance day salute in the country

In the country, in the country

Blow, blow me out I am so sad, on my Beneteau
Blow, blow me out I am so sad, my fibs are wasted on you

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He plays the guitar, sax and drums in the country
He did a mortgage for a police officer and his wife in the country
He ran up Mount Teide in the middle of the night in the country

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He's speaks fluent French in the country
He played to a very decent level as skipper in the country
He trained at the Ecole de Cuisine La Varenne in the country
:lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:09 pm
by backrow
Good stuff Danny - preys on him attention getting thin indeed

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:16 pm
by zt1903
globus wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:Horrendous gingham dress. 2/10 WNB
Imagine her in lingerie though.
No need to imagine there is a plethora of such photos out there.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:19 pm
by pieman99
tricky to shoehorn in the pioneering work in embedded systems, would be a bugger to get that to scan.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:19 pm
by globus
zt1903 wrote:
globus wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:Horrendous gingham dress. 2/10 WNB
Imagine her in lingerie though.
No need to imagine there is a plethora of such photos out there.
And video
Karlie with Chic

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:26 pm
by jdogscoop
The funniest thing about it is that the councillor's house isn't very big at all, and it's certainly not in the country.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:30 pm
by backrow
jdogscoop wrote:The funniest thing about it is that the councillor's house isn't very big at all, and it's certainly not in the country.
The one in wobbledom is farking massive though

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:31 pm
by LandOTurk
I'm 6' and my wife is 5'5". I could go up to about 5'8", but prefer the height difference, especially when she sticks her heels on and is probably at the 5'8" level. She prefers a taller man too.

The pic makes me laugh though as it looks doctored. I thought she was 6'9" not 6'2". The guys must be hobbits, they are well over a foot shorter. :lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:32 pm
by globus
jdogscoop wrote:The funniest thing about it is that the councillor's house isn't very big at all, and it's certainly not in the country.
But it's not my family home, which I own. I'm here as the Management's children were at Oundle school when we got together and I wanted to ensure they were near their mum.

So I moved here. We have no reason to live in a mansion now. Kiddiwinks have fled the coop and both are married and settled. I love it here. Biggish fish in a small pond. Life quality excellent.

Difficult bit is that the MIL might move here. Sheesh.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:34 pm
by globus
backrow wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:The funniest thing about it is that the councillor's house isn't very big at all, and it's certainly not in the country.
The one in Wobbledom is farking massive though
The kiddiwinks live there in their own houses. They aren't massive at all.

Why this interest in my domestic affairs?

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:40 pm
by backrow
globus wrote:
backrow wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:The funniest thing about it is that the councillor's house isn't very big at all, and it's certainly not in the country.
The one in Wobbledom is farking massive though
The kiddiwinks live there in their own houses. They aren't massive at all.

Why this interest in my domestic affairs?
We are not interested, yet we hear about it all fairly often - hence the pastiche

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:48 pm
by fatcat
globus wrote:I do funerals as well. So if you require my services just ask. Make sure I get your wishes in time.
So, in reverse order -

You operate the autopsy power tools
You arrange the funeral
You pronounce them dead
You feed, clothe and house them in adulthood
You see to their every whim in life in general (only meeeee!)
You design their wedding

Have you ever pushed a doctor aside and taken over delivering a baby?

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:49 pm
by globus
backrow wrote:
globus wrote:
backrow wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:The funniest thing about it is that the councillor's house isn't very big at all, and it's certainly not in the country.
The one in Wobbledom is farking massive though
The kiddiwinks live there in their own houses. They aren't massive at all.

Why this interest in my domestic affairs?
We are not interested, yet we hear about it all fairly often - hence the pastiche
No. You just want to trip me up. I have no problem with some ribbing; I do it enough myself.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:51 pm
by backrow
No,
I don't want to trip you up , just joshing. Feels like I've pushed over an old man and run over his dog. :?

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:51 pm
by fatcat
danny_fitz wrote:
backrow wrote:I didn't know parklife jokes had been made about him before until I browsed his recent posts to be fair - seems samshark invented this.

In the country lyrics can stay pretty much as they are tbf
Well with a few tweaks we get.
Northamptonshire dweller, successful fella

Thought to himself oops I've got a lot of money
I'm on a full final salary (defined benefit)
I'm a professional fantasist but my heart's not in it
I'm paying the price of fibbing at the limit
Caught up in the centuries of lies
It preys on him, that attention is getting thin

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He’s been in the morgue at 2am sawing off heads in the country
He was a sailing instructor in the country
He can solve a rubiks cube in under 2 mins in the country

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He's owns a Velocette bike in the country
He writes gags for TV in the country
He takes the remembrance day salute in the country

In the country, in the country

Blow, blow me out I am so sad, on my Beneteau
Blow, blow me out I am so sad, my fibs are wasted on you

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He plays the guitar, sax and drums in the country
He did a mortgage for a police officer and his wife in the country
He ran up Mount Teide in the middle of the night in the country

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He's speaks fluent French in the country
He played to a very decent level as skipper in the country
He trained at the Ecole de Cuisine La Varenne in the country
:lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:56 pm
by globus
fatcat wrote:
globus wrote:I do funerals as well. So if you require my services just ask. Make sure I get your wishes in time.
So, in reverse order -

You operate the autopsy power tools
You arrange the funeral
You pronounce them dead
You feed, clothe and house them in adulthood
You see to their every whim in life in general (only meeeee!)
You design their wedding

Have you ever pushed a doctor aside and taken over delivering a baby?
No.

I don't "design" weddings. If it's in church I do the service sheet. Funeral directors are not brilliant at this. I have a chat with the bride and groom then, with the vicar, put together a programme, which I design and have printed.

As an ex chorister and someone who uses Adobe CS6 to produce a full colour result with all the trimmings, including hymn detail of the writer and the music.

"Nottingham" (a funeral hymn) was scored by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791) is an example.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:57 pm
by danny_fitz
backrow wrote:No,
I don't want to trip you up , just joshing. Feels like I've pushed over an old run and run over his dog. :?
A very expensive thoroughbred dog, his pal is a professional breeder, won Crufts several times, arranged a mortgage for him once and taught him to sail on the Solent, his wife is a former muse to David Hockney (he has several of his works)








Parklife

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:25 pm
by globus
danny_fitz wrote:
backrow wrote:No,
I don't want to trip you up , just joshing. Feels like I've pushed over an old run and run over his dog. :?
A very expensive thoroughbred dog, his pal is a professional breeder, won Crufts several times, arranged a mortgage for him once and taught him to sail on the Solent, his wife is a former muse to David Hockney (he has several of his works)
Parklife
Sarah is actually a judge at Crufts, so not a "he". Their house is festooned with ribands.

Her husband is/was a rugby player and is the nicest you can meet.

They sadly sold their house next to Sibson airfield (she had a plane) just up the road and moved into the Fens.

Her dog clipping skills are to be admired. Her husband likes a pint or two, but they stay over.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:30 pm
by Cartman
Tall women are a bargain
You get more for the same price

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:53 pm
by A5D5E5
globus wrote:
danny_fitz wrote:
backrow wrote:No,
I don't want to trip you up , just joshing. Feels like I've pushed over an old run and run over his dog. :?
A very expensive thoroughbred dog, his pal is a professional breeder, won Crufts several times, arranged a mortgage for him once and taught him to sail on the Solent, his wife is a former muse to David Hockney (he has several of his works)
Parklife
Sarah is actually a judge at Crufts, so not a "he". Their house is festooned with ribands.

Her husband is/was a rugby player and is the nicest you can meet.

They sadly sold their house next to Sibson airfield (she had a plane) just up the road and moved into the Fens.

Her dog clipping skills are to be admired. Her husband likes a pint or two, but they stay over.
Parklife

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:56 pm
by P in VG
Image

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:56 pm
by globus
Parklife. It's swings and roundabouts to me. Plus the see-saw.

My dad died at Eaton Park on the bowling green. So there's Parkdeath too.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:57 pm
by Lorthern Nights
backrow wrote:
globus wrote:But what does it mean?
1. Parklife
Globus remix
Confidence is a preference for the habitual bullshitter of what is known as
(Parklife)
And morning crossword can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as
(Parklife)
The Management gave me brewer's droop, She intimidates me by the dirty pigeons, they love a bit of her
(Parklife)
Who's that gut lord marching (they gave me a Salute), you should cut down on your porklife mate, get some exercise
All the Famous people
So many Famous people
And they all go hand-in-hand
Hand-in-hand through their parklife
Know what I mean?
I get up when I want except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the need to Post on the Forum
(Parklife)
I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about performing emergency Cranial Surgery
(Parklife)
I feed the Kiddywinks, I sometimes feed the grand-kiddywinks too
It gives me a sense of enormous well-being
(Parklife)
And then I'm happy for the rest of the day safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my Wallet devoted to it
All the Famous people
So many Famous people
And they all go hand-in-hand
Hand-in-hand through their parklife
Parklife
(Parklife)
Parklife
(Parklife)
It's got nothing to do with Vorsprung durch technique, you know? Should have bought a Ford Kuga tbf
(Parklife)
(Parklife) and it's not about you joggers who go round and round and round Oundle (parklife)
(Parklife)
All the Famous people
So many Famous people
And they all go hand-in-hand
Hand-in-hand through their parklife
All the Famous people
So many Famous people
And they all go hand-in-hand
Hand-in-hand through their parklife
Nice one yeeb :lol: :lol: :thumbup:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:59 pm
by Ghost-Of-Nepia
P in VG wrote:Image
:lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 6:02 pm
by globus
P in VG wrote:Image
I like it!. Very good.

I tend not to do Catholic weddings though but you have caught the spirit.

The (funeral) one I did for a certain friend's dad has been regarded as a bit of a classic.

He was Head Porter at Oundle School and was famous for puffing on his pipe.

I also wrote his eulogy.

My services to anyone on here will be free. It keeps the brain going.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 6:09 pm
by spookly
globus wrote:Biggish fish in a small pond. Life quality excellent.
Oh, do stop it with that humility that you're so good at. Sheeesh.

#parklife

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 6:11 pm
by globus
spookly wrote:
globus wrote:Biggish fish in a small pond. Life quality excellent.
Oh, do stop it with that humility that you're so good at. Sheeesh.

#parklife
Getting a sackcloth shirt truly to abase myself. Drew the line at a barbed wire flail.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 6:27 pm
by danny_fitz
globus wrote:
P in VG wrote:Image
I like it!. Very good.

I tend not to do Catholic weddings though but you have caught the spirit.

The (funeral) one I did for a certain friend's dad has been regarded as a bit of a classic.

He was Head Porter at Oundle School and was famous for puffing on his pipe.

I also wrote his eulogy.

My services to anyone on here will be free. It keeps the brain going.
When I die I would like my eulogy to be about me though, I'm sure you understand.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 7:14 pm
by DragonKhan
These Blur/Globus songs are killing me :lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 7:26 pm
by sorCrer
globus wrote:
backrow wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:The funniest thing about it is that the councillor's house isn't very big at all, and it's certainly not in the country.
The one in Wobbledom is farking massive though
The kiddiwinks live there in their own houses. They aren't massive at all.

Why this interest in my domestic affairs?
Globus, I've stated openly on here that you're a nice enough bloke but for fvck sakes don't call your children/grandchildren or any fvcking children, kiddywinks. That sort of shite belong's on Mumsnet.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 7:44 pm
by Lady P
Yeeb, that was so good I feel bad for trying to wind you up the other day.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 7:55 pm
by dt678
P in VG wrote:Image
:lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:36 pm
by Rugby2023
"He lives in a house, a very big house in the country
He’s been in the morgue at 2am sawing off heads in the country"

:lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:38 pm
by Yourmother
globus wrote:
jdogscoop wrote:The funniest thing about it is that the councillor's house isn't very big at all, and it's certainly not in the country.
But it's not my family home, which I own. I'm here as the Management's children were at Oundle school when we got together and I wanted to ensure they were near their mum.

So I moved here. We have no reason to live in a mansion now. Kiddiwinks have fled the coop and both are married and settled. I love it here. Biggish fish in a small pond. Life quality excellent.

Difficult bit is that the MIL might move here. Sheesh.
Tell us more about this family home mansion.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:38 pm
by mr bungle
backrow wrote:I would marry the shit out of that tbh

She would be 3 inches shorter than me still
Not much point to being tall when you resemble a regular at the Mos Eisley Cantina.

Re: Height

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:43 pm
by Openside
happyhooker wrote:No it isn't

Thank god

Your single status would suggest it may be a problem for some :P

less enlightened members of the species... :P