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Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:13 am
by spookly
Image

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:18 am
by globus
spookly wrote:Image
I expect I'm more fun than you Spookily.

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:19 am
by happyhooker
Openside wrote:
happyhooker wrote:No it isn't

Thank god

Your single status would suggest it may be a problem for some :P

less enlightened members of the species... :P
Huh???

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:31 am
by Red Chopper
spookly wrote:Image
:lol: :lol:
Terrific thread, great stuff lads :thumbup:

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:42 am
by globus
Not even a flesh wound here.

Anyway, looks like the hymns are sorted. What would you pick?

Just got the Readings to do.

My services are available and free.

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:51 am
by spookly
globus wrote:Not even a flesh wound here.

Anyway, looks like the hymns are sorted. What would you pick?

Just got the Readings to do.

My services are available and free.
I'd pick "Live fast, Die young" by Rick Ross

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:05 am
by globus
spookly wrote:
globus wrote:Not even a flesh wound here.

Anyway, looks like the hymns are sorted. What would you pick?

Just got the Readings to do.

My services are available and free.
I'd pick "Live fast, Die young" by Rick Ross
A bit inappropriate but if that's what you want.......... It's got Kanye West in it so I bury my head in my hands.

I stick with "Ancient and Modern" for services at St Peter's. I leave the wacky stuff to others and I'm not fond of CDs in Church.

We have a terrific organist. "You hum it son, and I'll play it".

This couple want a nice traditional church wedding. And they will get one. I'm having a mail exchange with a certain Archdeacon to see (and that's slightly cryptic) if he'll come over and surprise them.

It's all systems go here.

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:11 am
by A5D5E5
globus wrote:
spookly wrote:
globus wrote:Not even a flesh wound here.

Anyway, looks like the hymns are sorted. What would you pick?

Just got the Readings to do.

My services are available and free.
I'd pick "Live fast, Die young" by Rick Ross
A bit inappropriate but if that's what you want.......... It's got Kanye West in it so I bury my head in my hands.

I stick with "Ancient and Modern" for services at St Peter's. I leave the wacky stuff to others and I'm not fond of CDs in Church.

We have a terrific organist. "You hum it son, and I'll play it".

This couple want a nice traditional church wedding. And they will get one. I'm having a mail exchange with a certain Archdeacon to see (and that's slightly cryptic) if he'll come over and surprise them.

It's all systems go here.
An archdeacon doesn't have a see - you need a bishop for that.

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:14 am
by alliswell
backrow wrote:I didn't know parklife jokes had been made about him before until I browsed his recent posts to be fair - seems samshark invented this.

In the country lyrics can stay pretty much as they are tbf
Charmless man is surely most fitting.

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:17 am
by globus
Plus marks, AD. It was just an idle thought.

Think I've got RO attending. Not seen him or J his wife for a bit and they are cracking company.

We are into "plighting troth" territory now. The bit about "obey" has been striken out!

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:18 am
by globus
alliswell wrote:
backrow wrote:I didn't know parklife jokes had been made about him before until I browsed his recent posts to be fair - seems samshark invented this.

In the country lyrics can stay pretty much as they are tbf
Charmless man is surely most fitting.
Yep. Don't do magic.

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:18 am
by figgypud
globus wrote:Not even a flesh wound here.

Anyway, looks like the hymns are sorted. What would you pick?
Has to be "Amazing Globus" for me

Amazing Globus how sweet the sound
Of drums and keyboards too
And guitar, and don't forget
He's also a crossword guru

Twas Globus that taught me all I knew
Including brain surgery
He's sailed all over the world
And rescues wrinklies for free

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:23 am
by spookly
figgypud wrote:
globus wrote:Not even a flesh wound here.

Anyway, looks like the hymns are sorted. What would you pick?
Has to be "Amazing Globus" for me

Amazing Globus how sweet the sound
Of drums and keyboards too
And guitar, and don't forget
He's also a crossword guru

Twas Globus that taught me all I knew
Including brain surgery
He's sailed all over the world
And rescues wrinklies for free
The thread that keeps giving :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Height

Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:26 am
by globus
figgypud wrote:
globus wrote:Not even a flesh wound here.

Anyway, looks like the hymns are sorted. What would you pick?
Has to be "Amazing Globus" for me

Amazing Globus how sweet the sound
Of drums and keyboards too
And guitar, and don't forget
He's also a crossword guru

Twas Globus that taught me all I knew
Including brain surgery
He's sailed all over the world
And rescues wrinklies for free
Not bad and not far off.

I still look after the wrinklies. Looks like the MIL might be heading this way.

I shall build a fort.
Image

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:28 am
by backrow
Bump for the people enjoying the Pret A Manger thread

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:01 am
by Rugby2023
alliswell wrote:
backrow wrote:I didn't know parklife jokes had been made about him before until I browsed his recent posts to be fair - seems samshark invented this.

In the country lyrics can stay pretty much as they are tbf
Charmless man is surely most fitting.
Bad miss in this thread until now.... :)
I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
The story of a charmless man
Educated the expensive way
He knows his claret from a beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
But then nature didn't make him that way

He thinks his educated airs those family shares
Will protect him, that you will respect him
He moves in circles of friends who just pretend that they like him
He does the same to them and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

He knows the swingers and their cavalry
Says he can get in anywhere for free
I began to go a little cross eyed
And from this charmless man I just had to hide

He talks at speed he gets nose bleeds
He doesn't see his days are tumbling down upon him
Yet he tries so hard to please he's just so keen for you to listen
But no-one is listening and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

He thinks his educated airs, those family shares
Will protect him, that you will respect him
Yet he tries so hard to please he's just so keen for you to listen
But no-one is listening and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:07 am
by booze
backrow wrote:
globus wrote:But what does it mean?
1. Parklife
Globus remix
Confidence is a preference for the habitual bullshitter of what is known as
(Parklife)
And morning crossword can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as
(Parklife)
The Management gave me brewer's droop, She intimidates me by the dirty pigeons, they love a bit of her
(Parklife)
Who's that gut lord marching (they gave me a Salute), you should cut down on your porklife mate, get some exercise
All the Famous people
So many Famous people
And they all go hand-in-hand
Hand-in-hand through their parklife
Know what I mean?
I get up when I want except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the need to Post on the Forum
(Parklife)
I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about performing emergency Cranial Surgery
(Parklife)
I feed the Kiddywinks, I sometimes feed the grand-kiddywinks too
It gives me a sense of enormous well-being
(Parklife)
And then I'm happy for the rest of the day safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my Wallet devoted to it
All the Famous people
So many Famous people
And they all go hand-in-hand
Hand-in-hand through their parklife
Parklife
(Parklife)
Parklife
(Parklife)
It's got nothing to do with Vorsprung durch technique, you know? Should have bought a Ford Kuga tbf
(Parklife)
(Parklife) and it's not about you joggers who go round and round and round Oundle (parklife)
(Parklife)
All the Famous people
So many Famous people
And they all go hand-in-hand
Hand-in-hand through their parklife
All the Famous people
So many Famous people
And they all go hand-in-hand
Hand-in-hand through their parklife
Fantastic

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:05 am
by slick
Lovely stuff, Yeeb. Giggling away here.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:09 am
by globus
It is amusing but I really cannot understand the interest in me.

I suppose I keep the board ticking over.

I am now convinced that Yeeb is a house husband.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:18 am
by happyhooker
globus wrote:It is amusing but I really cannot understand the interest in me.

I suppose I keep the board ticking over.

I am now convinced that Yeeb is a house husband.
Even if he was, why do you say that as if it's a slur?

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:28 am
by Zakar
Backrow is married?????
:uhoh: :shock:

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:30 am
by globus
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:It is amusing but I really cannot understand the interest in me.

I suppose I keep the board ticking over.

I am now convinced that Yeeb is a house husband.
Even if he was, why do you say that as if it's a slur?
Come on. He's been following me around like a lost puppy.

I know two chaps here in Oundle who are great. Their wives are the financial powerhouses who commute to London each day.

They look after the house and their kids. Both could do with a bit of vacuuming!

Why are people taking this nonsense seriously?

I truly don't care about opinions about me. Most are based on sand.

Things to do. Catch whomsoever is on later.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:32 am
by blindcider
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:It is amusing but I really cannot understand the interest in me.

I suppose I keep the board ticking over.

I am now convinced that Yeeb is a house husband.
Even if he was, why do you say that as if it's a slur?
That's the managements department and I doubt it pays £80k p.a.

We once had a Polish housemaid who could suck the peel off an orange.

I caught her in flagrante delicto with the management so she had to be let go

We now have a dyson. We made him walk the plank in the BVI,

He wanted to improve on my lifts, couldn't abide the thought of him sucking my shaft.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:35 am
by RuggaBugga
globus wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:It is amusing but I really cannot understand the interest in me.

I suppose I keep the board ticking over.

I am now convinced that Yeeb is a house husband.
Even if he was, why do you say that as if it's a slur?
Come on. He's been following me around like a lost puppy.

I know two chaps here in Oundle who are great. Their wives are the financial powerhouses who commute to London each day.

They look after the house and their kids. Both could do with a bit of vacuuming!

Why are people taking this nonsense seriously?

I truly don't care about opinions about me. Most are based on sand.

Things to do. Catch whomsoever is on later.
Some of my best friends are black...

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:45 am
by globus
blindcider wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
globus wrote:It is amusing but I really cannot understand the interest in me.

I suppose I keep the board ticking over.

I am now convinced that Yeeb is a house husband.
Even if he was, why do you say that as if it's a slur?
That's the managements department and I doubt it pays £80k p.a.

We once had a Polish housemaid who could suck the peel off an orange.

I caught her in flagrante delicto with the management so she had to be let go

We now have a dyson. We made him walk the plank in the BVI,

He wanted to improve on my lifts, couldn't abide the thought of him sucking my shaft.
Not bad!

We do have a Dyson. It's in the garage and is used to clean the cars.

The in house appliance is a Bosch Athlet.

Image

Lovely bit of kit. Recommend it. No electric leads. It's a joy to The Management who cleans like a demon.

Hard to find, ladies like that. I won.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:46 am
by happyhooker
Seneca of the Night wrote:Speaking of height. My last two girlfriends were 6 foot. Which is about 2 inches taller than me. There wasn't an issue.
Sympathy nibble

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:46 am
by globus
Seneca of the Night wrote:Speaking of height. My last two girlfriends were 6 foot. Which is about 2 inches taller than me. There wasn't an issue.
Does that mean you had no children?

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:02 pm
by globus
Seneca of the Night wrote:
globus wrote:
Seneca of the Night wrote:Speaking of height. My last two girlfriends were 6 foot. Which is about 2 inches taller than me. There wasn't an issue.
Does that mean you had no children?
I have not had children. Doubt I will. Never thought about it.
Just a play on the word "Issue" SOTN.

Have a bash at kiddiwinks (good luck). They are great. My granddaughter Matilda is such a little tinker.

She has her own cupboard in the kitchen and heads there as soon as she has been deposited here.

We have to remove any possibly valuable object from her arms length.

She managed to turn on my stereo equipment. At the highest volume possible, we got Bon Jovi "Shot Through The Heart and You're to Blame" when I was on the lav.

The next village could possibly hear it.

I wiped my backside in record time and shot down to hit the volume control.

The air of innocence was to behold.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:02 pm
by koroke hangareka
Seneca of the Night wrote:
globus wrote:
Seneca of the Night wrote:Speaking of height. My last two girlfriends were 6 foot. Which is about 2 inches taller than me. There wasn't an issue.
Does that mean you had no children?
I have not had children. Doubt I will. Never thought about it.
!!!

How do you know?!

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:03 pm
by blindcider
koroke hangareka wrote:
Seneca of the Night wrote:
globus wrote:
Seneca of the Night wrote:Speaking of height. My last two girlfriends were 6 foot. Which is about 2 inches taller than me. There wasn't an issue.
Does that mean you had no children?
I have not had children. Doubt I will. Never thought about it.
!!!

How do you know?!
His personality has always proven to be adequate contraceptive

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:05 pm
by fatcat
Funnily enough my last two girlfriends were 5'6, which is also 2 inches taller than Seneca.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:08 pm
by globus

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:09 pm
by koroke hangareka
fatcat wrote:Funnily enough my last two girlfriends were 5'6, which is also 2 inches taller than Seneca.
So it's a constant like the speed of light. Everybody is 2 inches taller than Seneca.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:11 pm
by kornboy130
globus wrote:Is it important to be taller than your partner? Could you marry Karlie Kloss?
I'm 1.93 so yes.

I don't think it's important to be taller though - that being said it's not really a problem I've ever encountered.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:23 pm
by globus
I've never dated a girl taller than me.

What do they put in ladies' shoes these days. Compost?

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:29 pm
by blindcider
globus wrote:What do they put in ladies' shoes these days. Compost?
Sounds like a question for Yeeb

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:53 pm
by globus
blindcider wrote:
globus wrote:What do they put in ladies' shoes these days. Compost?
Sounds like a question for Yeeb
Let's ask him.

I've just met a lady who is a midget, so it works both ways. Wonderful character. Full of fun.

People are not just what they look like. I've found an unlikely keyboard player.

Who would have thought it?

Women seem to be relaxed if you have a dog in tow. Why is that?

I doubt she would ever have spoken to me unless I had the hound attached.

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:04 pm
by happyhooker
The word midget isn't really acceptable nowadays globby, careful with that

And yes, I realise what I've opened myself up to there

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:06 pm
by HighKingLeinster
Yes I believe they prefer the term "short-arse" now.

Why is midget unacceptable these days anyway?

Re: Height

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:09 pm
by happyhooker
HighKingLeinster wrote:Yes I believe they prefer the term "short-arse" now.

Why is midget unacceptable these days anyway?
Not a fecking clue, just saw someone go off on one about it recently.

Similarly I got taken to task for describing someone as oriental the other day, didn't know that was out of bounds nowadays!