Shout-out to the old-school PR people

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notexilednzer
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Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by notexilednzer »

Hello! I don't know what it is about a RWC, but every four years I feel compelled to check in on PR and see what's going on. Of course, I'm getting on in years and can't remember my earlier log-in details, plus I'm no longer an exiled New Zealander. Long summary of my life follows, so if you couldn't care less here's the rugby content: All Blacks by at least 10 this weekend, and SA by 2.

In non-rugby news: I am the delighted and exhausted mother of a fine set of twins, one boy and one girl. They're nearly seven. This means that I can now make educated comments about what it's like to raise boys and girls, unlike some people who had strong opinions on the topic (despite only having girls :lol: ) I can exclusively confirm that there's bugger-all difference when they're little, and what difference there is can largely be attributed to gender role socialisation (i.e., how we raise them and what they're exposed to), and not biological determinism (i.e., some supposedly innate preference for toys and activities, based on their genitalia). Since they were born I've completed an Honours degree that included a pretty bloody awesome dissertation that discussed this very topic (gender and play preferences, in the context of whether boys and girls get equal access to public play spaces), so if you'd like several dozen academic references to back up my claims then just let me know. ;-)

In other non-rugby news: I'm now writing my Master's thesis and working 32 hours a week, so you'd best believe that I've had to learn about the cost of childcare in Auckland. It's f**king expensive, so thank goodness for au pairs, which are the only way our household would work.

In even more non-rugby news: I'm still very happily hitched to the 9ft Jaapie, and as of March 2019 we'd been married for 20 years (together for 22 years last week). And this news will shock some: he's the most hands-on father in the universe and easily does 50% of the child-rearing (and often more - in the last year of my Honours degree I was like a 1950s father, swanning in just in time for the kids' bedtime and reading them a story). And in really shocking news: he's now an official New Zealand citizen!

In rugby news: I sadly only manage to go to an average of one All Blacks game a year these days, which sucks the big kumara when compared with my carefree UK life of following the team around all of their European fixtures. And I have a son who looks destined to be 6'2" and 90 kgs, but who currently has zero interest in the glorious game (direct quote from him at 4 years old: "I'm never going to play this horrible game - it's just about snatching"). However, at least he also has little interest in playing football either (direct quote at 6 years old: "I never want to play football - to me, it's just kicking a ball around"). However his sister is very active and rearing to go, and I'm got them both playing touch AND football this term because that's just the kind of tyrant I am. :-D

I hope you're all happy and well, and enjoying the RWC! All Blacks by at least 10 this weekend, and SA by 2.
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SamShark
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by SamShark »

Hi - nice to see you, if only temporarily :thumbup:
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Sprig
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Sprig »

she lives.
notexilednzer
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by notexilednzer »

SamShark wrote:Hi - nice to see you, if only temporarily :thumbup:
Awww, a name I recognise! How are you?
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SamShark
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by SamShark »

notexilednzer wrote:
SamShark wrote:Hi - nice to see you, if only temporarily :thumbup:
Awww, a name I recognise! How are you?
Good thanks - ask me again at 11am (GMT) on Saturday though.
notexilednzer
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by notexilednzer »

SamShark wrote:
notexilednzer wrote:
SamShark wrote:Hi - nice to see you, if only temporarily :thumbup:
Awww, a name I recognise! How are you?
Good thanks - ask me again at 11am (GMT) on Saturday though.
Rugby will be the winner on the day :-D
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Ted.
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Ted. »

Jesus, Tigerfan and, and, Waspy will be along next.

:thumbup:
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Hong Kong
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Hong Kong »

Multi!!!! :x
notexilednzer
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by notexilednzer »

Ted. wrote:Jesus, Tigerfan and, and, Waspy will be along next.

:thumbup:
If this is how Jesus decides to stage his comeback it'll be pretty bloody surprising, Ted. :P
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Ted.
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Ted. »

notexilednzer wrote:Hello!

snip!

However, at least he also has little interest in playing football either (direct quote at 6 years old: "I never want to play football - to me, it's just kicking a ball around"). However his sister is very active and rearing to go, and I'm got them both playing touch AND football this term because that's just the kind of tyrant I am. :-D

snip!
It's gotta be child abuse. :x
notexilednzer
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by notexilednzer »

Hong Kong wrote:Multi!!!! :x
BURN THE WITCH! BAN THE WITCH! BURN FIRST AND THEN BAN THE EMBERS!!!11!!
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message #2527204
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by message #2527204 »

notexilednzer wrote:
Hong Kong wrote:Multi!!!! :x
BURN THE WITCH! BAN THE WITCH! BURN FIRST AND THEN BAN THE EMBERS!!!11!!
Wtf?
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Thomas
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Thomas »

I remember you.
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Hong Kong
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Hong Kong »

message #2527204 wrote:
notexilednzer wrote:
Hong Kong wrote:Multi!!!! :x
BURN THE WITCH! BAN THE WITCH! BURN FIRST AND THEN BAN THE EMBERS!!!11!!
Wtf?
It's a joke...
notexilednzer
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by notexilednzer »

Ted. wrote:
notexilednzer wrote:Hello!

snip!

However, at least he also has little interest in playing football either (direct quote at 6 years old: "I never want to play football - to me, it's just kicking a ball around"). However his sister is very active and rearing to go, and I'm got them both playing touch AND football this term because that's just the kind of tyrant I am. :-D

snip!
It's gotta be child abuse. :x
Look, they're very active and noisy, and Friday's after-school football league gives me a golden opportunity to sit in the sun with my mum friends and drink wine.

They're also doing surf lifesaving for a second year, which means I'll be in the water as of Sunday the 2nd. It's bloody freezing today, so this is not good news. x(
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Jeff the Bear
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Jeff the Bear »

This means that I can now make educated comments about what it's like to raise boys and girls, unlike some people who had strong opinions on the topic (despite only having girls :lol: ) I can exclusively confirm that there's bugger-all difference when they're little, and what difference there is can largely be attributed to gender role socialisation (i.e., how we raise them and what they're exposed to), and not biological determinism (i.e., some supposedly innate preference for toys and activities, based on their genitalia).
This could start a whole thread on it's own! My experience has been the exact opposite (as in, there definitely seems to be a difference straight out of the womb that tracks generally along gender lines, however, I would also say that there is more variability within genders, than between genders). My sample size is my own kids plus an extended family of boys and girls.
notexilednzer
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by notexilednzer »

Jeff the Bear wrote:
This means that I can now make educated comments about what it's like to raise boys and girls, unlike some people who had strong opinions on the topic (despite only having girls :lol: ) I can exclusively confirm that there's bugger-all difference when they're little, and what difference there is can largely be attributed to gender role socialisation (i.e., how we raise them and what they're exposed to), and not biological determinism (i.e., some supposedly innate preference for toys and activities, based on their genitalia).
This could start a whole thread on it's own! My experience has been the exact opposite (as in, there definitely seems to be a difference straight out of the womb that tracks generally along gender lines, however, I would also say that there is more variability within genders, than between genders). My sample size is my own kids plus an extended family of boys and girls.
It's so interesting, eh! My opinion (after a lot of research, and my own experiences as a parent and an aunt of several children) is that gender role socialisation is so prevalent that many of us don't really recognise it. It really does start from birth - studies have shown that people hold and handle newborns differently, depending on whether they think the baby is a boy or a girl. My dissertation researched looked at risk in play, among many other things, and specific studies revealed that parents actively encourage their boys towards riskier and higher-energy play, but assume that their girls will be less physically capable, regardless of the kids' actual competency or confidence. One really fascinating study talked about an exercise where parents were asked to teach their three year olds to slide down a pole in a playground. Parents of boys used very encouraging and empowering language, and in some cases refused to help their children even when they were directly asked by the kids for assistance. Similarly, parents of girls were observed to offer help before it was requested and often when it wasn't needed, and to use a lot of language that was designed to constantly remind their daughters of risk and danger, and how they should avoid it. There are plenty of other studies which show how parents (particularly fathers) play far more boisterously with boys than with girls. And of course our wider society endlessly models men being more active and women being more passive. It's fascinating stuff! And on the face of it it shouldn't really matter too much, but I think there are a lot of wider implications: for example, girls tend to be far less active than boys as they reach their tween years, and once they stop being active then tend not to start again (missing out on all sorts of physical and mental health benefits associated with being fit and active). And more broadly, I'd argue that boys' stronger self-confidence (seen in things like men's willingness to apply for jobs that they're only partially qualified for, negotiate higher salaries, etc) may well be linked to their increased physical confidence and risk-taking as kids.

As a parent with boy/girl twins it's a bit like I've had a live-action science experiment, because we had all sorts of toys and clothes available, and no judgement about how played with or wore what. My observations of my kids have been that they subvert virtually every gender norm so far, although school has been an interesting experience and has really shown how strongly peer pressure can influence what kids feel like they should like and do, in order to fit in with others. Thankfully we've worked quite hard to make sure they feel sufficiently confident to continue mostly doing what they like. :)
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globus
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by globus »

Nice to see you back. Exile. Greetings from the NH.

I'm now a grandfather to three girls. I can at least hand them back to their parents when necessary!
notexilednzer
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by notexilednzer »

globus wrote:Nice to see you back. Exile. Greetings from the NH.

I'm now a grandfather to three girls. I can at least hand them back to their parents when necessary!
Hi Globus! Glad to hear you're doing well. And being a grandparent sounds fantastic. That first year with twins was a time I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy... :shock:
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Bokkom
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Bokkom »

But what is Southern Softie's opinion on all of this?
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Shrekles
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Shrekles »

Was exiledNzer the one who flounced after the cost of childcare shit fight?
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kiwigreg369
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by kiwigreg369 »

Bokkom wrote:But what is Southern Softie's opinion on all of this?
He's just sent in a video clip...

Image

Image
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Clogs
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Post by Clogs »

Fvck off noob.
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HKCJ
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Post by HKCJ »

Newbies will never understand the ferocity of an all female shitfight on PR or the beauty of that London childcare thread. Oh and Hello Exiled.
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Kiwias
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Post by Kiwias »

It was in my infant days as a poster but I still remember that thread.

Welcome back, Exiled. My son has twins (one boy and one girl) who are about to turn 4 (and a daughter close to turning 6), so I have an idea of your life right now.
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Duff Paddy
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Duff Paddy »

Clogs wrote:Fvck off noob.
This
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Duff Paddy
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Duff Paddy »

HKCJ wrote:Newbies will never understand the ferocity of an all female shitfight on PR or the beauty of that London childcare thread. Oh and Hello Exiled.
It’s a gentler place now. Is it because we have fewer crazy shitfighting females? We need a dissertation
Santa
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Santa »

It is one of the wonders of the universe why gender differentiation, which affects almost very part of human physiology, decided to stop at the brain.
Last edited by Santa on Thu Oct 24, 2019 8:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
Tuivasa
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Post by Tuivasa »

LOL LOL LOL
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Ghost-Of-Nepia
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Post by Ghost-Of-Nepia »

I was more of a Missincredible fan to be honest. What with her baking, wacky clothes and general hatstand behaviour.

But hello all the same, exiled. Fondest regards etc.
backrow
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by backrow »

HKCJ wrote:Newbies will never understand the ferocity of an all female shitfight on PR or the beauty of that London childcare thread. Oh and Hello Exiled.
Who was it who used to fight ? Exiled v Tigerfan v Sarahjane ?
I used to lose track of who was who tbh as it didn’t seem to matter what the subject was, they would disagree. The only thing that unites them , was this:
Spoiler: show
8===> - - - :o
tc27
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by tc27 »

Welcome back!

Come back just in time to put the boot in on Saturday x(
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Ali's Choice
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by Ali's Choice »

Never really had much to do with exilenzder, because of the time zones. But it's always nice to see a returning poster back. Sadly, it also reminds me about just how much of my life I have wasted on this forum over the years and how the 'Hotel California' tag is still very applicable for some of us.
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handyman
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Post by handyman »

Tough to remember all the posters when I first joined.

Voltman, Ant Robertson, ?
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Ghost-Of-Nepia
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Post by Ghost-Of-Nepia »

handyman wrote:Tough to remember all the posters when I first joined.

Voltman
Top bloke. 8)
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JM2K6
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Post by JM2K6 »

As long as softie doesn't come back I'll allow this
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mr bungle
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Post by mr bungle »

Ted. wrote:Jesus, Tigerfan and, and, Waspy will be along next.

:thumbup:
I think I saw Invicta post a day or two back.
les@mooloolaba
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Re: Shout-out to the old-school PR people

Post by les@mooloolaba »

Welcome back exiles NZDr :thumbup: :nod:
Old Fallopian
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Post by Old Fallopian »

Loser
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happyhooker
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Post by happyhooker »

Fark me
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