The PR fantasy pub

HKCJ · Post by **HKCJ** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 4:14 am

Does anyone remember this classic thread from the good old days? I think Gary was the landlord. Given what’s going on we might need it again if we can’t get to a real one.

Mine’s a Guinness and I’m gonna put a few songs on the old jukebox.

Don’t Stand so Close to Me - The Police
Stayin Alive - BeeGees
Harder to Breath - Maroon 5

For any non drinkers Kiwias is holding an AA meeting upstairs if you’re interested.

danny_fitz · Post by **danny_fitz** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:54 am

Nobody is eating the bar nuts

Gwenno · Post by **Gwenno** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:58 am

And some bastard has pinched the bog roll from the gents!

handyman · Post by **handyman** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:59 am

Double brandy and Coke for me.

slick · Post by **slick** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:23 am

I’ll have an ale please.

Now this could be fun. Can we ask the mods to be doormen and bar any anti-social posters from the bar if they kick off?

Also, can you turn over to the rugby please, Gary?

Gwenno · Post by **Gwenno** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:24 am

slick wrote:I’ll have an ale please.

Now this could be fun. Can we ask the mods to be doormen and bar any anti-social posters from the bar if they kick off?

Also, can you turn over to the rugby please, Gary?

Been cancelled. Showing repeats of 'Survivors'

Kiwias · Post by **Kiwias** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:26 am

Our meetings are open to all but please leave your glass outside.

You'll hear our song "Do you Believe in Magic?" by Loving Spoonful

SaintK · Post by **SaintK** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:32 am

HKCJ wrote:Does anyone remember this classic thread from the good old days? I think Gary was the landlord. Given what’s going on we might need it again if we can’t get to a real one.

Mine’s a Guinness and I’m gonna put a few songs on the old jukebox.

Don’t Stand so Close to Me - The Police
Stayin Alive - BeeGees
Harder to Breath - Maroon 5

For any non drinkers Kiwias is holding an AA meeting upstairs if you’re interested.

Thought that was on Scrum.com
The Hookers Arms
Gary was the nutter who played for Canvey Island

happyhooker · Post by **happyhooker** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:50 am

What's your craft selection like?

crash 669 · Post by **crash 669** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:01 am

Can we turn the jukebox off or is there a saloon bar for us real pub goers to sit in surly silence?

If no, I put on Too Drunk to fudge by Dead Kennedys.

Lemoentjie · Post by **Lemoentjie** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:07 am

I hope you have both brandy and coke

Clogs · Post by **Clogs** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:09 am

Any chance of a lemsip? Can't get it in the stores at the moment.

6.Jones · Post by **6.Jones** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:10 am

Can we call the pub The World's End?

BillW · Post by **BillW** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:13 am

I want a game of darts and a fight over the pool table.

Big Nipper · Post by **Big Nipper** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:14 am

Lemoentjie wrote:I hope you have both brandy and coke

DraadkarD · Post by **DraadkarD** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:34 am

Big Nipper wrote:
Lemoentjie wrote:I hope you have both brandy and coke

Frodder · Post by **Frodder** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:35 am

Brandy and Babycham please guv'nor

VBall · Post by **VBall** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:41 am

A large Ardbeg please. Can I have a larger ashtray as I have this fine Montecristo to smoke.

Bindi · Post by **Bindi** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:44 am

Rum and Coke. Bundy, of course.

Who's up for a game of pool? I will fuck you up.

KnuckleDragger · Post by **KnuckleDragger** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:48 am

Please make sure the pub bore is barred.

Mine's a Pineapple Pizza Space Cookie IPA please........

JB1981 · Post by **JB1981** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:49 am

BillW wrote:I want a game of darts and a fight over the pool table.

I put my dollar on the side of the table first

Chilli · Post by **Chilli** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 10:10 am

Lemoentjie wrote:I hope you have both brandy and coke

Call it by its real name: Charge Office Coffee, or GTFO of this pub mate.

Lemoentjie · Post by **Lemoentjie** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 10:18 am

Big Nipper wrote:
Lemoentjie wrote:I hope you have both brandy and coke

Wilson's Toffee · Post by **Wilson's Toffee** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 10:20 am

Lime juice and lemonade, choked with ice, please.

And tell those drunken sots to keep their voices down.

Inch high hogs eye · Post by **Inch high hogs eye** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 10:23 am

6.Jones wrote:Can we call the pub The World's End?

Etherspoons?

fatcat · Post by **fatcat** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 10:30 am

Yeeb has spewed on someone's back in the pool room.

DraadkarD · Post by **DraadkarD** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 10:48 am

Chilli wrote:
Lemoentjie wrote:I hope you have both brandy and coke
Call it by its real name: Charge Office Coffee, or GTFO of this pub mate.

Karate Water

AND-y · Post by **AND-y** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:04 am

I'm in if I can set my PS up to one of the spare TV's and you turn a blind eye to me eating these brownies I brought in (there's enough to go around) in return for buying a pint of coke and pack of crisps every 30 mins.

crash 669 · Post by **crash 669** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:23 am

JB1981 wrote:
BillW wrote:I want a game of darts and a fight over the pool table.
I put my dollar on the side of the table first

Any pub that needs more than a 50p piece for the pool table is too expensive.

Azlan Roar · Post by **Azlan Roar** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:24 am

Jeff bin in?

Inch high hogs eye · Post by **Inch high hogs eye** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:25 am

crash 669 wrote:
JB1981 wrote:
BillW wrote:I want a game of darts and a fight over the pool table.
I put my dollar on the side of the table first
Any pub that needs more than a 50p piece for the pool table is too expensive.

It’s contactless these days, somewhat suitably...

sorCrer · Post by **sorCrer** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:32 am

Has Bimbo popped in this morning yet? I want to discuss Brexit, virology and epidemiology with someone knowledgeable...over a thick rum and coke.

TB63 · Post by **TB63** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:37 am

Pint of Bass and 1/2 lager and lime for Zappaman. .

Breathe by Pink Floyd on the jukebox please..

inactionman · Post by **inactionman** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:40 am

Pub quiz anyone?

Lorthern Nights · Post by **Lorthern Nights** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:41 am

Gwenno wrote:
slick wrote:I’ll have an ale please.

Now this could be fun. Can we ask the mods to be doormen and bar any anti-social posters from the bar if they kick off?

Also, can you turn over to the rugby please, Gary?
Been cancelled. Showing repeats of 'Survivors'

Shirely we can just watch a selection of the greatest games.

Scotland v England 1990 first, in fact just put it on a loop please barman.

Pint of Innes & Gunn with a Highland Park 18 on the side and get one for yourself.

bimboman · Post by **bimboman** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:42 am

sorCrer wrote:Has Bimbo popped in this morning yet? I want to discuss Brexit, virology and epidemiology with someone knowledgeable...over a thick rum and coke.

I’ll have a lime and soda, sorry virology and epidemics aren’t anything I know much about, there’s some amazing guys in Ireland for you though. Get in early Though, I assume they’re all tontoed by 1pm.

RuggaBugga · Post by **RuggaBugga** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:47 am

crash 669 wrote:
JB1981 wrote:
BillW wrote:I want a game of darts and a fight over the pool table.
I put my dollar on the side of the table first
Any pub that needs more than a 50p piece for the pool table is too expensive.

Too many weights, not enough exchange work...

crash 669 · Post by **crash 669** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:49 am

inactionman wrote:Pub quiz anyone?

I'm in. What's the team name, any objections to Quizlamic Extremists?

danny_fitz · Post by **danny_fitz** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:51 am

inactionman wrote:Pub quiz anyone?

I have asked Globby to be on my team, you c*nts are toast.

croyals · Post by **croyals** » Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:57 am

Anyone fancy a game of scrabble?

Mine’s an ale