The PR fantasy pub

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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

Keith wrote:Lads, Gary appears to have snuffed it. He's slumped over a crate of Babycham in the corner
I've seen this before, he's been at the wood polish again. Don't worry once the rigor mortis eases off he'll be back.

Someone get upstairs and see if his daughter's about. She looks a bit funny, but she knows how to pull a pint.
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colonel
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by colonel »

Bev, Gary is a lost cause, its all on you now love

3 white russians, some haribo and a quiche please


Also, someones pissed behind the fruit machine


outer bull

3

double 19

188
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

white russian, good shout. I'll have one, a pint of mild and a pickled egg in salt and vinegar crisps. And I know you can't reach the spirits, that's what the stool's for ffs.

treble 17
2
17

172
frillage
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by frillage »

crash 669 wrote:white russian, good shout. I'll have one, a pint of mild and a pickled egg in salt and vinegar crisps. And I know you can't reach the spirits, that's what the stool's for ffs.

treble 17
2
17

172
She’s 7, give her a break.
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happyhooker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by happyhooker »

Ffs you lot started early. It's only Wednesday you know.
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

frillage wrote:
crash 669 wrote:white russian, good shout. I'll have one, a pint of mild and a pickled egg in salt and vinegar crisps. And I know you can't reach the spirits, that's what the stool's for ffs.

treble 17
2
17

172
She’s 7, give her a break.
It's not like this is her first shift. I see why Gary docks her pay.
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

happyhooker wrote:Ffs you lot started early. It's only Wednesday you know.
Wait, Wednesday? I thought it as Sunday!
backrow
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by backrow »

crash 669 wrote:
happyhooker wrote:Ffs you lot started early. It's only Wednesday you know.
Wait, Wednesday? I thought it as Sunday!
It’s been a fortnight of Sunday’s, only with less sport
TB63
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by TB63 »

Windy? Who said it's windy out?..
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Lord Denning
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by Lord Denning »

Bev, a pint of Sierra Nevada pale please love.

And when your dad comes round, and after he's changed his trousers, can you tell him there's loads of little holes all over the bar and the floor. I think the pub might have an infestation of woodworm.
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colonel
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by colonel »

Bev, fell asleep in a cubicle for a bit, can I have a HH bacon bloody mary, a bag of twiglets, a double baileys, some wasabi peas, 4 paracetamol and some blue M&Ms


20

20

20


128
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SaintK
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by SaintK »

colonel wrote:Bev, fell asleep in a cubicle for a bit, can I have a HH bacon bloody mary, a bag of twiglets, a double baileys, some wasabi peas, 4 paracetamol and some blue M&Ms


20

20

20


128
Reads like some cheap musician's gig rider
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colonel
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by colonel »

Also Bev, when do you need me to do my Mustang Sally cover?
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

11
8
treble 12

117

This is getting harder with shaking hands like this. Bev, a quadruple vodka and coke please, just to steady the hands. And if this doesn't do it, might have to get on the wood polish to steady my hands.
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happyhooker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by happyhooker »

crash 669 wrote:11
8
treble 12

117

This is getting harder with shaking hands like this. Bev, a quadruple vodka and coke please, just to steady the hands. And if this doesn't do it, might have to get on the wood polish to steady my hands.
Tbf, going blind would probably help your darts
frillage
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by frillage »

happyhooker wrote:
crash 669 wrote:11
8
treble 12

117

This is getting harder with shaking hands like this. Bev, a quadruple vodka and coke please, just to steady the hands. And if this doesn't do it, might have to get on the wood polish to steady my hands.
Tbf, going blind would probably help your darts
Wait till these plum need a double to finish, be out of isolation by time one hits it.
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happyhooker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by happyhooker »

frillage wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
crash 669 wrote:11
8
treble 12

117

This is getting harder with shaking hands like this. Bev, a quadruple vodka and coke please, just to steady the hands. And if this doesn't do it, might have to get on the wood polish to steady my hands.
Tbf, going blind would probably help your darts
Wait till these plum need a double to finish, be out of isolation by time one hits it.
Tell them it means they have to down a double. That'll free up the board, they've been on this sodding game since yesterday
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colonel
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by colonel »

1

1

* sick *

miss


Bev, have you got any lucozade?


126
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feckwanker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by feckwanker »

Lord Denning wrote:Bev, a pint of Sierra Nevada pale please love.

And when your dad comes round, and after he's changed his trousers, can you tell him there's loads of little holes all over the bar and the floor. I think the pub might have an infestation of woodworm.
Jesus I'd love one of them now :(
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

Right, time to bring out the big guns, shut these cunts up.

Treble 18
20
Out the window and into the head of that old twat wandering around with the shovel.

43 to finish.
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Frodder
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by Frodder »

Evening chaps
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Short Man Syndrome
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by Short Man Syndrome »

colonel wrote:Also Bev, when do you need me to do my Mustang Sally cover?
Pass us that bottle of Teachers pls Bev luv.
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Lord Denning
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by Lord Denning »

Bev, put the phone down. We don’t need an ambulance for the old twat with a spade and a dart in his head. He coped with worse when he sailed round the world solo. But while you’re in that corner just reach behind the Serbian brandy and fetch me a can of your dad’s stash of Mackesons. Ta.
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happyhooker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by happyhooker »

Lord Denning wrote:Bev, put the phone down. We don’t need an ambulance for the old twat with a spade and a dart in his head. He coped with worse when he sailed round the world solo. But while you’re in that corner just reach behind the Serbian brandy and fetch me a can of your dad’s stash of Mackesons. Ta.
Mackesons??? Grandad, is that really you?
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

happyhooker wrote:
Lord Denning wrote:Bev, put the phone down. We don’t need an ambulance for the old twat with a spade and a dart in his head. He coped with worse when he sailed round the world solo. But while you’re in that corner just reach behind the Serbian brandy and fetch me a can of your dad’s stash of Mackesons. Ta.
Mackesons??? Grandad, is that really you?
No, but that shovel is still handy if you want to go get him.
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happyhooker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by happyhooker »

crash 669 wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Lord Denning wrote:Bev, put the phone down. We don’t need an ambulance for the old twat with a spade and a dart in his head. He coped with worse when he sailed round the world solo. But while you’re in that corner just reach behind the Serbian brandy and fetch me a can of your dad’s stash of Mackesons. Ta.
Mackesons??? Grandad, is that really you?
No, but that shovel is still handy if you want to go get him.
As we burnt him in 85, that could be a trip.

He's probably part of your molecular structure

And get colonel out of the bogs to finish your darts match
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sorCrer
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by sorCrer »

Evening all, evening Bev...a bit shaken after last nights session so go gentle on me. A Coronita with a twist of lemon please, luv.
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happyhooker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by happyhooker »

sorCrer wrote:Evening all, evening Bev...a bit shaken after last nights session so go gentle on me. A Coronita with a twist of lemon please, luv.
Get out
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sorCrer
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by sorCrer »

happyhooker wrote:
sorCrer wrote:Evening all, evening Bev...a bit shaken after last nights session so go gentle on me. A Coronita with a twist of lemon please, luv.
Get out
:(

Sorry mate. I don't have the strength. Bev, please change that to what caused all the damage last night. Triple Vodka, squeeze of orange and dash of Aperol over the top. Just a squeeze mind you.
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happyhooker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by happyhooker »

sorCrer wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
sorCrer wrote:Evening all, evening Bev...a bit shaken after last nights session so go gentle on me. A Coronita with a twist of lemon please, luv.
Get out
:(

Sorry mate. I don't have the strength. Bev, please change that to what caused all the damage last night. Triple Vodka, squeeze of orange and dash of Aperol over the top. Just a squeeze mind you.
Globby, fire up the concrete mixer. It's time for a new patio
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Lord Denning
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by Lord Denning »

happyhooker wrote:
Lord Denning wrote:Bev, put the phone down. We don’t need an ambulance for the old twat with a spade and a dart in his head. He coped with worse when he sailed round the world solo. But while you’re in that corner just reach behind the Serbian brandy and fetch me a can of your dad’s stash of Mackesons. Ta.
Mackesons??? Grandad, is that really you?
It’s to drink while I play shove ha’penny and take part in the Mel Tormé sing-along (in the snug, 10 o’clock).
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happyhooker
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by happyhooker »

Lord Denning wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Lord Denning wrote:Bev, put the phone down. We don’t need an ambulance for the old twat with a spade and a dart in his head. He coped with worse when he sailed round the world solo. But while you’re in that corner just reach behind the Serbian brandy and fetch me a can of your dad’s stash of Mackesons. Ta.
Mackesons??? Grandad, is that really you?
It’s to drink while I play shove ha’penny and take part in the Mel Tormé sing-along (in the snug, 10 o’clock).
Oh that's lovely, I've missed you.
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

sorCrer wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
sorCrer wrote:Evening all, evening Bev...a bit shaken after last nights session so go gentle on me. A Coronita with a twist of lemon please, luv.
Get out
:(

Sorry mate. I don't have the strength. Bev, please change that to what caused all the damage last night. Triple Vodka, squeeze of orange and dash of Aperol over the top. Just a squeeze mind you.
She can do you a vodka and orange fanta.
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colonel
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by colonel »

Bev, it’s my time to put up or shut up

Pint of Old Peculiar, a double vodka red bull, 2 bags of cheese and onion please

20

Double 20

Double 5

56
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colonel
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by colonel »

Actually Bev, unsurprisingly this pint of OP if faaar too claggy for my current situation

Can I have an Aperol thing as well please

Also a tongue sandwich if there’s any left over from last weeks wedding reception
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

Right I've had my hand in the ice bucket getting ready for this.

20 (was trying for 1)
3
Miss

Double 10 to finish

Bottle of what for the winner?
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Ali's Choice
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by Ali's Choice »

..
Last edited by Ali's Choice on Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

Ali's Choice wrote:
fatcat wrote:Yeeb has spewed on someone's back in the pool room.
Ah, that's not spew :uhoh:
Jesus Christ it's like someone bombed a dairy.
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colonel
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by colonel »

Old Pulteney 18?


6

Goes for bull


19


Stares at the board doing mental sums

5


26
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crash 669
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Re: The PR fantasy pub

Post by crash 669 »

Old Pultney works *takes off jacket to reveal darts team shirt*

Double 6
Miss
Double 4 - out

Good game. We'll let someone else have a go then best of 3? Anyone fancy doubles?
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