I have no idea what you are rambling on about. Take forty winks.backrow wrote:depends where his mouth & lips are whilst he's giving one of these highly plausible anecdotes !RuggaBugga wrote:They don't actually put soap up there you know... and then there's the whole getting wet thing.globus wrote:Never got this "fishy smell" thing. A bit of preparation is required, involving a lovely shower with a pretty woman.
Soap is useful.
Mind you, five minutes of you prattling on and any woman would be drier than Gandhi's flip flop.
Globus"So, I built the lifts in the Sears tower in '88 *nosh nosh nosh*
Management![]()
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oooh yeah OMG
Globus "the Head *nosh* of security there, Jeff *nosh* mcginty, took me *nosh* out for a pint of shampoo at the *nosh* Boars head * nose*
Management![]()
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*squirt*
etc
Height
Re: Height
- RuggaBugga
- Posts: 12781
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
You remind me of the Dad in the M. Night Shym-aliens episode of Rick and Morty.globus wrote:I've done ok thanks. And I am probably more interesting to women than you are.RuggaBugga wrote:They don't actually put soap up there you know... and then there's the whole getting wet thing.globus wrote:Never got this "fishy smell" thing. A bit of preparation is required, involving a lovely shower with a pretty woman.
Soap is useful.
Mind you, five minutes of you prattling on and any woman would be drier than Gandhi's flip flop.
Re: Height
you have no idea ?
Poor old Management ...
does she spend a lot of time with the BBC ?
Poor old Management ...
does she spend a lot of time with the BBC ?
Re: Height
I think you've overstepped the mark there BRbackrow wrote:depends where his mouth & lips are whilst he's giving one of these highly plausible anecdotes !RuggaBugga wrote:They don't actually put soap up there you know... and then there's the whole getting wet thing.globus wrote:Never got this "fishy smell" thing. A bit of preparation is required, involving a lovely shower with a pretty woman.
Soap is useful.
Mind you, five minutes of you prattling on and any woman would be drier than Gandhi's flip flop.
Globus"So, I built the lifts in the Sears tower in '88 *nosh nosh nosh*
Management![]()
![]()
![]()
oooh yeah OMG
Globus "the Head *nosh* of security there, Jeff *nosh* mcginty, took me *nosh* out for a pint of shampoo at the *nosh* Boars head * nose*
Management![]()
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*squirt*
etc
Re: Height
Christ Yeeb




Re: Height
Kindly do not take his name in vain. That's Christ, not Yeeb.Keith wrote:Christ Yeeb![]()
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I'm built of sterner stuff, so it's not a big deal.
That's what he's missing. A big deal. You have to have intelligence to do that. He's apparently lacking in that department.
Re: Height
Not sure what you're on about, but 

Re: Height
I am in the swamp on this one.Keith wrote:Not sure what you're on about, but
I was always a bit miffed that my tennis partner was about 1/2 inches taller than me.
Then she took her shoes off. Victory!
Re: Height
I think that's what Yeeb was suggestingglobus wrote:I am in the swamp on this one.

Re: Height
very good yeeb
Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.

Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
Re: Height
I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb![]()
Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
I got the connection through the late Gerry Bron and that my dad used to do the accounts for Chris Barber.
Life is a complicated business. I have always found that cultivating people within a circle is a good way to go.
Now. I'm in the process of doing a modern "Flash Mob". Got the dance teacher on board and her husband who films and edits.
So we are heading there. Struggling with the music and that's my job.
At the moment I am running with a start with "Upside Down" by Chic and, of course, Diana Ross.
Suggestions are always welcolmed.
Re: Height
Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.globus wrote:I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb![]()
Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
- happyhooker
- Posts: 23124
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
Mornington crescent would be a closer fit to globby's pointless, meandering aimless prose stylepieman99 wrote:Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.globus wrote:I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb![]()
Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
Re: Height
Not really.pieman99 wrote:Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.globus wrote:I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb![]()
Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
I did write the one about the "old archivists" (appropriate) and the one about her underlying appearance from beneath a ladder.
However, Ian Naismith writes most of it with his team.
I miss Humph. Enormously.
Re: Height
Reasonable.happyhooker wrote:Mornington crescent would be a closer fit to globby's pointless, meandering aimless prose stylepieman99 wrote:Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.globus wrote:I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb![]()
Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
And fair.
I was at a recording when they went off on this one and Sandi Toksvig had just joined.
The bit, which was never broadcast, about the Royal Family was totally off the hill.
I have pretty well all of Humph's allusions to Samantha.
Including a reference to ice cream. Now fellas. Look that up.
Re: Height
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
- happyhooker
- Posts: 23124
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
It's quite famously humph's last joke on the show.globus wrote:Reasonable.happyhooker wrote:Mornington crescent would be a closer fit to globby's pointless, meandering aimless prose stylepieman99 wrote:Ah, so you were the brains behind 'Samantha'. Yeeb's stuff is quite tame in comparison.globus wrote:I wrote stuff for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, when Humph was the presenter.pieman99 wrote:very good yeeb![]()
Globus - you were a gag writer to the stars were you not? Yeeb's efforts would generally be out of the 'blue book'.
And fair.
I was at a recording when they went off on this one and Sandi Toksvig had just joined.
The bit, which was never broadcast, about the Royal Family was totally off the hill.
I have pretty well all of Humph's allusions to Samantha.
Including a reference to ice cream. Now fellas. Look that up.
(Well it is famous for me at least) geek.
- happyhooker
- Posts: 23124
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
Re: Height
I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.happyhooker wrote:That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
Now. Find the ice-cream man.
I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.
As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
- happyhooker
- Posts: 23124
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.globus wrote:I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.happyhooker wrote:That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
Now. Find the ice-cream man.
I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.
As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.
I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
Re: Height
Word for word hey?happyhooker wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.globus wrote:I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.happyhooker wrote:That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
Now. Find the ice-cream man.
I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.
As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.
I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
It seems Globus must have written for Viz too: Aldridge Prior
- Jeff the Bear
- Posts: 19126
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
Indeed. Getting your nose in up there is a bit much.Frodder wrote:I think you've overstepped the mark there BRbackrow wrote:depends where his mouth & lips are whilst he's giving one of these highly plausible anecdotes !RuggaBugga wrote:They don't actually put soap up there you know... and then there's the whole getting wet thing.globus wrote:Never got this "fishy smell" thing. A bit of preparation is required, involving a lovely shower with a pretty woman.
Soap is useful.
Mind you, five minutes of you prattling on and any woman would be drier than Gandhi's flip flop.
Globus"So, I built the lifts in the Sears tower in '88 *nosh nosh nosh*
Management![]()
![]()
![]()
oooh yeah OMG
Globus "the Head *nosh* of security there, Jeff *nosh* mcginty, took me *nosh* out for a pint of shampoo at the *nosh* Boars head * nose*
Management![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
*squirt*
etc
- danny_fitz
- Posts: 12147
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
- Location: Mostly London........Mostly
Re: Height
You would think he would have learned from his 'family recipe' sagabackrow wrote:Word for word hey?happyhooker wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.globus wrote:I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.happyhooker wrote:That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
Now. Find the ice-cream man.
I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.
As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.
I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
It seems Globus must have written for Viz too: Aldridge Prior
Re: Height
You guys are the morons for feeding him. What the hell to do get out of it?
- happyhooker
- Posts: 23124
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
A 'you'???J Man wrote:You guys are the morons for feeding him. What the hell to do get out of it?
You're presumably not around that much on our day shift. He can, within seconds, turn a thread entirely into whatever subject he's decided to shoehorn into it. Incessantly. Even if it means replying to himself.
I put him on ignore for a bit, but that doesn't work thanks to the quote function.
The only chance of laying into him is by catching him out in a whopper, and as he's impervious to shame and they won't ban him, it's all we've got.
Pity, cos he's an interesting and erudite poster, especially if you're into crosswords.
Re: Height
Ignore works just fine. People only tend to quote his most outrageous brags etc, telling people he's more interesting than them blah blah. You get all the fun and little of the real tedium.happyhooker wrote:A 'you'???J Man wrote:You guys are the morons for feeding him. What the hell to do get out of it?
You're presumably not around that much on our day shift. He can, within seconds, turn a thread entirely into whatever subject he's decided to shoehorn into it. Incessantly. Even if it means replying to himself.
I put him on ignore for a bit, but that doesn't work thanks to the quote function.
The only chance of laying into him is by catching him out in a whopper, and as he's impervious to shame and they won't ban him, it's all we've got.
Pity, cos he's an interesting and erudite poster, especially if you're into crosswords.

- RuggaBugga
- Posts: 12781
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
Another first google result mince pie 

Re: Height
I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.
Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.
What a load of codswallop.
Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.
What a load of codswallop.
- happyhooker
- Posts: 23124
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.
Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.
What a load of codswallop.
Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.
I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
Re: Height
Wot?happyhooker wrote:Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.
Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.
What a load of codswallop.
Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.
I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
- happyhooker
- Posts: 23124
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
Re: Height
Which part of the posts bove or below, are you finding it difficult to comprehend?globus wrote:Wot?happyhooker wrote:Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.
Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.
What a load of codswallop.
Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.
I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
happyhooker wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.globus wrote:I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.happyhooker wrote:That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
Now. Find the ice-cream man.
I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.
As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.
I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
Re: Height
I give up. It's ok. I just never did any of this. And I do not care if you think otherwise.happyhooker wrote:Which part of the posts bove or below, are you finding it difficult to comprehend?globus wrote:Wot?happyhooker wrote:Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.
Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.
What a load of codswallop.
Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.
I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
happyhooker wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.globus wrote:I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.happyhooker wrote:That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
Now. Find the ice-cream man.
I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.
As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.
I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
Here's a conundrum for you. What ??????????? That will provide hours of brain teasing and no element of result.
- danny_fitz
- Posts: 12147
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
- Location: Mostly London........Mostly
Re: Height
I don't fib,happyhooker wrote:Which part of the posts bove or below, are you finding it difficult to comprehend?globus wrote:Wot?happyhooker wrote:Why do you need to do it globby? I believe you've had an interesting and varied life so why embellish it so much.globus wrote:I'm still about and I challenge those who choose to have a go.
Up to you but really there must be teenagers out there.
What a load of codswallop.
Do you really expect me to believe that, despite your fading memory, you typed out verbatim the piece above, despite it being the first thing on Google.
I'd be upset if my 10 yr old nephew resorted to such blatant plagiarism
happyhooker wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.globus wrote:I can state quite honestly that I typed that up from memory, which is fading a bit.happyhooker wrote:That's literally the first gag that comes up if you Google "I'm sorry I haven't a clue Samantha"globus wrote:Samantha has to nip out to spend time with her new gentleman friend. They’re off on a driving tour of Wales. She says he’s looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van.
Now. Find the ice-cream man.
I wrote a terrible joke years ago. It's about somewhere. But I am a busy bloke today and cannot be bothered to find the link.
As you may well know, Samantha never existed. Jon Naismiths apologies are well recorded. (I got his Christian name wrong.)
I've just copied and pasted this from the article in the link below. You've got it word for word identical, including punctuation which I find remarkable, especially given your normal idiosyncratic use of commas.
I was aware of the ice cream joke as I said above, but for your edification it's in the same article.
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.indepe ... html%3famp
I do wish people would stop making things up.
Keep swinging.
You can't lay a finger on me.
As a 10 I am used to dealing with your sort and Thurrock backrows.
Right I am off to play the saxophone.
I have installed a pressure sensor to my sax key guard so that door number 3 in my triple fronted garage opens every time I play the solo in Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street.
I actually organised a mortgage for Bob Holness
I have a life. Try getting one.
Re: Height
Not bad, but I never met Bob.
"Give me a P Bob"
"Give me a P Bob"
Re: Height
If you did go on there, bob would ask you "What C, are you ?"
- danny_fitz
- Posts: 12147
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:05 am
- Location: Mostly London........Mostly
Re: Height
globus wrote:Not bad, but I never met Bob.
"Give me a P Bob"
"What 'P' is the act of taking the work or an idea of someone else and passing it off as one's own?"

Last edited by danny_fitz on Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Height
Globby's Golden run - can anyone do it ?
TRFC - a team
BS - nocturnal activity
IL - Schindler did this
TTS - in the garden
CWTMD - electro percussion
GAL - oft given advice
TRFC - a team
BS - nocturnal activity
IL - Schindler did this
TTS - in the garden
CWTMD - electro percussion
GAL - oft given advice
Re: Height
You clearly do not know how life works in reality.danny_fitz wrote:globus wrote:Not bad, but I never met Bob.
"Give me a P Bob"
"What 'P' is the act of taking the work or an idea of someone else and passing it off as one's own?"