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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:42 am 
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I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:50 am 
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c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:42 am 
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Very sorry to hear these stories...my advice is to find someone you can talk to and talk and talk and talk some more...Freud may be out of fashion but the talking cure still helps, imo...


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 2:56 am 
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Kiwias wrote:
c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 9:24 am 
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All of us males can be a bit shite at talking.

If you can't find anyone, just write on here.

We'll respond.

I'm feeling better now but have struggled over the last 3 weeks - turns out I fall into the <1% of people who get Anxiety and fatigue from Telfast allergy meds.

Not what I needed starting a new job just before Xmas x(

Gone cold turkey over the last week and hopefully it's passed.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 9:30 am 
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First Christmas without the kids. Very rough. I don't know how people do this every year :(


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 9:45 am 
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GWO2 wrote:
I have been finding it difficult lately, my wife`s health has gone down hill badly and recently she has been increasingly showing signs of dementia. Her memory is going and she repeatedly asks the same question even though I`ve answered it each time. She knows how bad she`s getting and frequently tells me she`s losing her mind. It`s very wearing trying to keep her spirits up and telling her it`s not that bad. She goes to bed much earlier than I do, and I found that once I`m alone whilst I`m not suicidal, I often break into tears. It is really wearing me down. I suppose that`s what fifty five years together will do to you.

I am sorry to hear this. If you have people you are close to then talk to them if you can. It probably helps to share.

My mother was this year diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She's still there but she's unable to perform some simple tasks and her dependency is only increasing. Her first grandchild was born this year. It kills me that she will never know her grandmother as she was. Old age is an absolute prick for what it does to people.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 5:58 pm 
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Both my parents are f**ked. Both have dimentia. My mother has really bad short term memory loss but is otherwise surprisingly functional.

My dad had to be moved to full time care last month. He had Louise Bodies dimentia, which doesn't react well with anti depressants, which result is severe hallucinations. Off the meds he is very sensitive to sounds and can't distinguish general noise and focus on voices. He's also adicticted to over the counter pain pills and gets migraines. This all leads to him getting very wound up, confrontational, abusive and violent.

I'm half way across the planet.

Until recently they were both very stubborn about getting help and any attempt to get them support was met with abusive retorts and pig headed unwillingness to accept they're f**ked and need help.

It's very likely I will end up going the same way in about 20-25 years time. I will not put my wife and kids through this shit.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 6:22 pm 
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Along with the quitting alcohol thread, this is PR at its best


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 11:09 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

Yeah chatted to her last night after I had got my head in the right place.
She still has no idea how flecked up I am over this but it helped.
Just to vent on here was helpful. Thanks


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:03 am 
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Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:04 am 
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c69 wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

Yeah chatted to her last night after I had got my head in the right place.
She still has no idea how flecked up I am over this but it helped.
Just to vent on here was helpful. Thanks


:thumbup: ... thanks for sharing as it helps so many more who are not speaking up. This is likely the mere tip of the issues being experienced by posters across PR ...


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:38 am 
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TB63 wrote:
Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...


It's a symptom of depression.

Have it myself from time to time.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 12:41 am 
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c69 wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Kiwias wrote:
c69 wrote:
I have never felt like this before and am crying my eyes out.
Have no idea what to do now. Sorry folks.


Talk to your wife, share the pain with her

This x 2000000000

Share the shit. It's not you burdening someone else with your issues, it's letting someone who cares for you realise what you're going through, EVEN if you can't articulate it. Just try.

I'm not into oversharing this kind of stuff on here, but letting go in front of someone earlier this year pulled me back from an absolutely ridiculous and possibly terminal position.

Yeah chatted to her last night after I had got my head in the right place.
She still has no idea how flecked up I am over this but it helped.
Just to vent on here was helpful. Thanks


c69

Good on you.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 1:07 am 
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Pat the Ex Mat wrote:
TB63 wrote:
Does anyone else on here start crying with the slightest nudge, more so hearing a song/ seeing an emotional video etc?..I do...


It's a symptom of depression.

Have it myself from time to time.


I can play a track and I'm ok, I can hear that same track played by my kids and I'm in floods. .
Soopy films I used to be immune to now sends me off on one..


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 1:57 am 
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Yep = that's exactly it.

Are you feeling particularly stressed at present? feel free to message if you want. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:33 pm 
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CBT is a patronising joke, and my job is now at risk.

I'm less worried about feelings emotions than I am about the numbness.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:38 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
CBT is a patronising joke, and my job is now at risk.

I'm less worried about feelings emotions than I am about the numbness.



CBT is excellent for some conditions and people. It doesn't work for everyone.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:43 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
CBT is a patronising joke, and my job is now at risk.

I'm less worried about feelings emotions than I am about the numbness.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well. You're out in the middle of nowhere in England somewhere right? Anyone local you can lean on? Friends etc?

And what do you mean your job is at risk?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:00 pm 
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Insane_Homer wrote:
Both my parents are f**ked. Both have dimentia. My mother has really bad short term memory loss but is otherwise surprisingly functional.

My dad had to be moved to full time care last month. He had Louise Bodies dimentia, which doesn't react well with anti depressants, which result is severe hallucinations. Off the meds he is very sensitive to sounds and can't distinguish general noise and focus on voices. He's also adicticted to over the counter pain pills and gets migraines. This all leads to him getting very wound up, confrontational, abusive and violent.

I'm half way across the planet.

Until recently they were both very stubborn about getting help and any attempt to get them support was met with abusive retorts and pig headed unwillingness to accept they're f**ked and need help.

It's very likely I will end up going the same way in about 20-25 years time. I will not put my wife and kids through this shit.


I hear you IH, I've just returned from an emergency trip to Zim, the old man was diagnosed with bowel cancer and had an operation to remove it. My Mum has really bad Alzheimer's, so the wife and I went over to look after them for a month, one of my worst months ever.
My Mum is very physically fit (for 78) but has terrible short term memory and is very easily confused, Dad is not bad, still has memory loss but more in an old age type of way, but is very stubborn when it comes to realizing that he needs help and can't and won't be able to cope with my mother for much longer.
Alzheimer's is a bastard, yes I will most likely get it and sadly my wifes family is also predisposed, things could get very interesting


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:03 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Salanya wrote:
CBT is a patronising joke, and my job is now at risk.

I'm less worried about feelings emotions than I am about the numbness.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well. You're out in the middle of nowhere in England somewhere right? Anyone local you can lean on? Friends etc?

And what do you mean your job is at risk?


I am in the middle of nowhere, which is fine, but as I have to go to a training course tomorrow, the dog had to go to the kennel for a few nights. Had a chat with one of the two friends who is aware; I don't actually want to see any further people - I guess I prefer to converse with faceless weirdos on a rugby forum... ;)

The job overworked me, but the boss is using that as an excuse for me not meeting objectives. Had occupational health involved, but their suggestions haven't been implemented by the boss.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:13 pm 
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Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:17 pm 
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redderneck wrote:
Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?


It could be done, but at a lower position. And all locations are very different, and I am attached to my location.

I'll need to get the union involved now to support my corner, without things getting too messy.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:23 pm 
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Your boss sounds like a dick :thumbdown:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:35 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Your boss sounds like a dick :thumbdown:


Thanks for the support.

How are things with you?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:37 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
redderneck wrote:
Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?


It could be done, but at a lower position. And all locations are very different, and I am attached to my location.

I'll need to get the union involved now to support my corner, without things getting too messy.



Good luck with the dick/boss. Sounds like he needs therapy not you.

Hope it works ok.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:53 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Diego wrote:
Your boss sounds like a dick :thumbdown:


Thanks for the support.

How are things with you?

Ok. Well, I'm unemployed and homeless but hopefully not for much longer than another few weeks. Happy in myself and where I'm going anyway. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:57 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
redderneck wrote:
Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?


It could be done, but at a lower position. And all locations are very different, and I am attached to my location.

I'll need to get the union involved now to support my corner, without things getting too messy.


All the best with it. Unions may take a pounding in here frequently, but times/situations like you have on your hands, they can be a major plus.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:01 pm 
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Diego wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Diego wrote:
Your boss sounds like a dick :thumbdown:


Thanks for the support.

How are things with you?

Ok. Well, I'm unemployed and homeless but hopefully not for much longer than another few weeks. Happy in myself and where I'm going anyway. :thumbup:


I thought you were still doing your PhD in NL?!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:11 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Diego wrote:
Salanya wrote:
Diego wrote:
Your boss sounds like a dick :thumbdown:


Thanks for the support.

How are things with you?

Ok. Well, I'm unemployed and homeless but hopefully not for much longer than another few weeks. Happy in myself and where I'm going anyway. :thumbup:


I thought you were still doing your PhD in NL?!

I was only doing a Masters and some research work afterwards. Back in Ireland at the moment.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:24 pm 
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redderneck wrote:
Salanya wrote:
redderneck wrote:
Sal, not a good scene when your employer has been made aware and isn't doing their bit. Would you have employment options open to you without uprooting and moving somewhere else?


It could be done, but at a lower position. And all locations are very different, and I am attached to my location.

I'll need to get the union involved now to support my corner, without things getting too messy.


All the best with it. Unions may take a pounding in here frequently, but times/situations like you have on your hands, they can be a major plus.


Thanks Redders :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:29 pm 
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Diego: stick to academics, the grown up world sucks ;)

Good to hear you're well in yourself. One day we will have some pints to celebrate Wesleyan triumphs!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:33 pm 
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Salanya wrote:
Diego: stick to academics, the grown up world sucks ;)

Good to hear you're well in yourself. One day we will have some pints to celebrate Wesleyan triumphs!

That is the plan :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:36 pm 
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That’s pretty nice guys and gals to see you support each other like this. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 7:58 am 
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I'm with you Salanya with regards to CBT, it's a crock.

Anxiety is getting much better/manageable after going crazy of turkey over Xmas.

Still flat but to be expected with a new job and other stresses

Inspected the shower/locker/bike storage setup at the new gig and it's excellent.

Starting to ride to work 2 days a week from Next week

:thumbup:


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:06 pm 
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Man In Black wrote:
Well nah, CBT is great, just not for everyone. You can’t make baseless accusations like it’s a crock just because it may not have worked for you. It was brilliant for me, for example.


We all experience our own reality :nod:

Here, we can speak out minds


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 3:20 pm 
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Man In Black wrote:
Well nah, CBT is great, just not for everyone. You can’t make baseless accusations like it’s a crock just because it may not have worked for you. It was brilliant for me, for example.


this. CBT helped me with some Bereavement induced depression that I had, and I use some of the techniques I learnt in that still to this day. different things, work for different people, in different ways, such as religion, going to the gym, taking a dog for a walk, even Lemsip & a wank. the single best thing I learnt from it, was the 'its ok to feel down' bit, once I got that bit, I stopped all the compounding issues I had of feeling bad just because I feeling upset, or letting anyone down etc.

as long as it makes the person feel better, happier, and more able to cope, and it doesn't harm anyone else, then just let them do it I say :thumbup:

good luck to all anyways. one thing that I found that helped, was laughing at inappropriate, repetitive crude humour.

Spoiler: show
8===> - - - :o


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:24 pm 
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This week I'll probably need lots of hugs - just saying :(

Incredible what stress can do to you. And what work can do to you, and bosses are happy to do to you.


PS: my comment on CBT was more for myself, not the process in general. If you've never really experienced or studied depression I imagine it's really helpful, explaining thought processes and links between emotions, moods, self-image and behaviours.
However, if you've had it for a long time you've probably looked into this on many occasion, read studies and websites, and understand the workings even though you may not be able to stop the thoughts and emotions. And then CBT is stating the obvious, with some diary exercises thrown in.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:07 am 
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Jeffrey Simmons, the Mississippi State lineman, reads this poem to himself everyday: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/ ... it-through

It’s helped me to read it a few times while going through a rough patch, so I thought I’d share. Sometimes even the smallest things make a difference.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:17 am 
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Salanya wrote:
This week I'll probably need lots of hugs - just saying :(

Incredible what stress can do to you. And what work can do to you, and bosses are happy to do to you.


PS: my comment on CBT was more for myself, not the process in general. If you've never really experienced or studied depression I imagine it's really helpful, explaining thought processes and links between emotions, moods, self-image and behaviours.
However, if you've had it for a long time you've probably looked into this on many occasion, read studies and websites, and understand the workings even though you may not be able to stop the thoughts and emotions. And then CBT is stating the obvious, with some diary exercises thrown in.

Hope all works out for you this week Sal


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