Winnie wrote:TQoET wrote:Hey folks – just looking for willing ear…
My 19-year old son is suffering from depression and panic attacks - he first started to feel the onset in Year 11 at school. He refuses to talk about it with me and flatly refuses to see any kind of therapist. He will only reluctantly talk to my wife about it, and even then, he’s quick to get upset/angry and closes up again.
He is on medication, which hasn’t visibly seemed to help much and he has recently switched to a different drug. He has real trouble sleeping – he spends most of the night awake and then will sleep late into the morning.
The panic attacks seem to be getting more frequent…to the point that he is increasingly finding reasons to stay either at home or at his girlfriend’s place. More often than not, he calls in sick to work (part time casual job – he’s at Uni) – although he has apparently told his boss about it, who is being really understanding.
He had a really bad day yesterday, so I took the day off work to be with him. We just hung out, watched movies and had a swim…but didn’t talk about anything. He just wants to feel ‘normal’ and talking about it just shines a light on it, I think.
My wife and I have Googled ourselves stupid – but he is so reticent, we have no real idea where to start. I send him links to things that I think might help, but I don’t think he reads them.
Like any parent, my kids are the most important things in my life - it feels wretched and heart-breaking to see your child in so much pain and be so completely useless in making it go away.
Any thoughts welcome, but I just wanted to have a bit of a download.
Im not a professional and this is just my rambling but keep encouraging him to continue speak to you or your wife, good for you hanging out with him
Let him know there is nothing that he cant tell you
When I am low I try and talk to my wife, sometimes its very hard to express how I feel, sometimes to me it seems shocking or embarrassing but when its verbalised it can sound quite silly.
Doesnt make it go away but it helps
I have often said I wish to feel normal, that is one of the big things he IS normal, he would be amazed the amount of people out there who have mental health issues, again that is much easier said than done, I can remember at my worst walking around supermarkets looking at everyone and thinking how happy they all are and none feel like me.
Thing is I had NO IDEA, half of them could have been on medication for all I knew, but I had beaten myself up that I was the only one with the problem
Encourage him to start a journal, writing stuff down can also be therapeutic.
I did something similar and now when I look back at it, its fascinating to see how my mind was working at that particular time
Hopefully the docs can find the right medication for him.
I appreciate I'm probably coming across rambling now, its more of a brain dump from me from personal experiences, apologies if it comes across that way!
Most importantly though best of luck, everyone here is rooting for you and even more so for your son
Damned fine post, Winnie, and yes, TQoET, you have tons of support here.