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PostPosted: Sun Dec 22, 2019 10:15 pm 
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Location: Over the hills and far away...
Keeping this thread on the first page, as the coming week will be tricky for some...

...especially for those living in Hull, Skegness, Luton etc. etc.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 9:09 am 
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Luton is fine , had a cracking 4 years there which considering I’d just lost my mum, was pretty good.
It’s extremely cheap and near to London :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 10:39 am 
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This will be my 2nd Christmas without my kids. It sucks... it really sucks balls.
It's actually made me dreading the festive period and just willing it to be over.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 3:00 pm 
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Sydvicious wrote:
This will be my 2nd Christmas without my kids. It sucks... it really sucks balls.
It's actually made me dreading the festive period and just willing it to be over.


My first

My ex idea of splitting the holidays is for her to have the kids over Christmas and I have them over New Year. Lol

Still better than being married to her though

Best wishes to all here


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 5:30 pm 
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Best wishes for Christmas everyone :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 12:10 am 
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Not moaning, just taking the opportunity to get it off my chest. I will be so glad to see Christmas over, as my wife`s memory deteriorates even faster.We have made up bags of presents for our children and grand children, but, I have had to go back and explain which parcel is for who and what we have put in each parcel, four or five times in an hour. Even though we have labelled each parcel.She will then settle down , and then a few hours later get up and when I ask her what`s the problem, She turns and says just checking, then I have to explain it all again.It is so hard knowing how intelligent and organised she has always been. Still that`s the way it is, and I know it`s It is going to get worse. I`m coping ok at the moment as I blank the future and cope with the present.

Feel better getting that out there.
MERRY XMAS ALL.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 12:15 am 
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GWO2 wrote:
Not moaning, just taking the opportunity to get it off my chest. I will be so glad to see Christmas over, as my wife`s memory deteriorates even faster.We have made up bags of presents for our children and grand children, but, I have had to go back and explain which parcel is for who and what we have put in each parcel, four or five times in an hour. Even though we have labelled each parcel.She will then settle down , and then a few hours later get up and when I ask her what`s the problem, She turns and says just checking, then I have to explain it all again.It is so hard knowing how intelligent and organised she has always been. Still that`s the way it is, and I know it`s It is going to get worse. I`m coping ok at the moment as I blank the future and cope with the present.

Feel better getting that out there.
MERRY XMAS ALL.


f**king sucks dude. Ca't imagine going through that.

Fair play for getting it out there. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 12:26 am 
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GWO2 wrote:
Not moaning, just taking the opportunity to get it off my chest. I will be so glad to see Christmas over, as my wife`s memory deteriorates even faster.We have made up bags of presents for our children and grand children, but, I have had to go back and explain which parcel is for who and what we have put in each parcel, four or five times in an hour. Even though we have labelled each parcel.She will then settle down , and then a few hours later get up and when I ask her what`s the problem, She turns and says just checking, then I have to explain it all again.It is so hard knowing how intelligent and organised she has always been. Still that`s the way it is, and I know it`s It is going to get worse. I`m coping ok at the moment as I blank the future and cope with the present.

Feel better getting that out there.
MERRY XMAS ALL.

Poor sod.

I wouldn't know what to say, but it's nice to see you expressing it freely.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 12:33 am 
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That is the best thing about this page, it gives you the opportunity to ease the pressure and get it off your chest. Genuinely feel better for it. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:49 am 
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Amazing how, reading other’s experiences puts ones own into perspective.
My dad died at the end of May. He’d had surgery to remove a supposedly cancerous (we never had confirmation) growth from his right lung (he never smoked) but came out of it with post surgical delirium which was horrendous. He then needed additional surgery to remove more lung as it had atrophied because instead of the usual two veins taking depleted blood away from the lung he only had one so the used blood was just lingering. Then he needed a pacemaker inserted as he’d had some ‘incident’ on the operating table (never found out what that was all about either). All the while he was still suffering the delirium, being violent to nursing staff etc. pulling out tubes and suchlike, had to have restraints which was awful to see. He was then stabilised sufficiently to be moved to a more local hospital where my mom could visit more frequently and eventually, after a couple of months in critical care, he was moved onto a general ward (should have gone to a high dependency unit but somehow didn’t?). The delirium had subsided a bit and he was responding to physio well and seemed to be recovering but then he just died one morning.

So that was that.

Then my mother-in-law started needing medical treatment for repeated UTI’s or related issues. This is particularly irksome as we have been imploring her to increase her fluid intake, as did the docs but she’s loathed to get up off her arse to go for a pee! :roll: She now has a catheter, that’ll teach her.

The one thing all these experiences have taught us is to get our shit in order. I’ve already started both the medical and financial power of attorney stuff for myself. My mum is still sorting out paperwork (she’s a bit of a hoarder so it’s a long process!) but everything is ‘on hold’ now until after Christmas. This is not ideal and I want to get everything sorted because none of us know when the inevitable will happen but I’ve already been accused of bullying so have to let others go at their own pace...

I guess doing all the practical stuff is my coping mechanism. The new year will hopefully reignite momentum!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 11:31 am 
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Aitch, sorry to here that. You're damn right about getting paperwork in order.

I buried my dad yesterday and always felt a bit of a fraud using this page to vent on, but it did help massively, so apologies and thanks for the intrusion


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 12:09 pm 
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happyhooker wrote:
Aitch, sorry to here that. You're damn right about getting paperwork in order.

I buried my dad yesterday and always felt a bit of a fraud using this page to vent on, but it did help massively, so apologies and thanks for the intrusion


No apologies necessary but thanks all the same. Watch out for bastard solicitors fees etc when it comes to your father’s estate (assuming there is one), the solicitor my father named in his will tried to charge my mom extortionate amounts for not doing much at all (twas all pretty straightforward) so we kicked them into touch pdq.
One resource we found particularly useful was the government’s Tell us Once service, worth checking out.

There is so much that needs doing following a death and we really should be taught these things in school (with updates for legal issues).

Condolences...


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 1:51 pm 
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aitch

Condolences and your comments about getting stuff in order rings a bell. WHen my dad died a couple of years back, we were lucky that my older brother spend heaps of time with Dad in the last year or so going over stuff and getting it sorted. Even then we had a whole lot of things to get done after he died.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 2:08 pm 
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GWO2 wrote:
Not moaning, just taking the opportunity to get it off my chest. I will be so glad to see Christmas over, as my wife`s memory deteriorates even faster.We have made up bags of presents for our children and grand children, but, I have had to go back and explain which parcel is for who and what we have put in each parcel, four or five times in an hour. Even though we have labelled each parcel.She will then settle down , and then a few hours later get up and when I ask her what`s the problem, She turns and says just checking, then I have to explain it all again.It is so hard knowing how intelligent and organised she has always been. Still that`s the way it is, and I know it`s It is going to get worse. I`m coping ok at the moment as I blank the future and cope with the present.

Feel better getting that out there.
MERRY XMAS ALL.

Well buddy that is proper shit. My mother is in early ish stages of Alzheimer's and on her bad days she struggles with things as simple as making a cup of tea. It is horrible to see bits of her falling away like a wet cake.

I know that you have said in the past that you don't want to say anything to your kids but they need to know how hard it is on you so you can share the load a little bit at least. In saying that I am a massive hypocrite because I have never discussed anything about 'feelings' with my father but I really wish one of us had the balls to be honest about how shit the situation is.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 2:17 pm 
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aitch@wasps wrote:
happyhooker wrote:
Aitch, sorry to here that. You're damn right about getting paperwork in order.

I buried my dad yesterday and always felt a bit of a fraud using this page to vent on, but it did help massively, so apologies and thanks for the intrusion


No apologies necessary but thanks all the same. Watch out for bastard solicitors fees etc when it comes to your father’s estate (assuming there is one), the solicitor my father named in his will tried to charge my mom extortionate amounts for not doing much at all (twas all pretty straightforward) so we kicked them into touch pdq.
One resource we found particularly useful was the government’s Tell us Once service, worth checking out.

There is so much that needs doing following a death and we really should be taught these things in school (with updates for legal issues).

Condolences...

Tell us once is indeed excellent.

Fortunately one of my sisters is a lawyer, so we avoided many of the pitfalls there and my mum is still going, which simplifies things.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 4:10 pm 
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Shit like this really sucks eh?
I've been avoiding the thread to just compartmentalise and focus on other things but I thought I'd pop in anyway.
You turn on the tap and it's hard to turn off again. :|

I'm in a similar boat with my mom, though she doesn't have dementia or anything like that.
This Christmas is going to be bittersweet and very odd for all of us.

My Aunt, who's in the early-mid stages of Dementia will be attended, so I know what a terrible disease it is.

Do your best at Christmas guys, hope it goes as well as it can.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 12:09 am 
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So I have some good news from my post earlier on a couple of pages back with regards to my old man.

So, long story short, he has very few to no symptoms since the fall (or attack.. I haven't decided which). The main issue is slightly odd, where by when he lies down his blood pressure is 165, when he stands up it's only 120. That seems very peculiar.. can't imagine what causes that. He also appears to have lost a slight sense of taste and has to monitor his water/fluid intake. However, from a personal perspective, he's essentially normal.

Just chuffed to bits he's still around really, but that's the second time in his life he's had a life threatening injury, a second time he's gone in the medical journal for a miraculous recovery in a couple of days or so due to self healing (first time was lung issues) and the second time he's completely injury free and no different than prior (or 99%).

:)


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 12:26 am 
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:thumbup: Good to hear.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 12:32 am 
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Nolanator wrote:
:thumbup: Good to hear.

Thanks Nolan. Hope you have a good time in Southampton for christmas tomorrow :)


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 12:36 am 
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I suppose that there are certain things that put your life in perspective and what I heard yesterday was one of them.

My wife's boss'es (about 35) wife (she 33) gave birth to a child last Thursday. She died from an infection two days ago.

I don't even know the man but I'm devastated for him. My wife is very very upset. Hold your loved ones dear guys - every moment is precious.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 1:01 am 
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Wendigo7 wrote:
Nolanator wrote:
:thumbup: Good to hear.

Thanks Nolan. Hope you have a good time in Southampton for christmas tomorrow :)

Hah, thanks. Back in Dublin this year. Had it in Southampton last year, though!


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 1:14 am 
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To anyone who posts on this thread ‘sorry for moaning’ or ‘forgive me for this/that/other’ - pls know that you are immediately forgiven - no apology was necessary - and welcomed warmly.

A lot of people might not want to share their troubles here, but I’ve found a great deal of help and comfort from hearing that people have/are going through similar and, sadly, worse.

No-one is alone on this thread.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 1:39 am 
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Short Man Syndrome wrote:
To anyone who posts on this thread ‘sorry for moaning’ or ‘forgive me for this/that/other’ - pls know that you are immediately forgiven - no apology was necessary - and welcomed warmly.

A lot of people might not want to share their troubles here, but I’ve found a great deal of help and comfort from hearing that people have/are going through similar and, sadly, worse.

No-one is alone on this thread.


Absolutely. I'm not in a best place at the moment, however without wanting to going into any detail, this forum offers a real solace. Thank you all and best wishes to everyone who is in a difficult time at the present.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 1:41 am 
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Wyndham Upalot wrote:
Short Man Syndrome wrote:
To anyone who posts on this thread ‘sorry for moaning’ or ‘forgive me for this/that/other’ - pls know that you are immediately forgiven - no apology was necessary - and welcomed warmly.

A lot of people might not want to share their troubles here, but I’ve found a great deal of help and comfort from hearing that people have/are going through similar and, sadly, worse.

No-one is alone on this thread.


Absolutely. I'm not in a best place at the moment, however without wanting to going into any detail, this forum offers a real solace. Thank you all and best wishes to everyone who is in a difficult time at the present.


:thumbup:


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 2:59 am 
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Wendigo7 wrote:
So I have some good news from my post earlier on a couple of pages back with regards to my old man.

So, long story short, he has very few to no symptoms since the fall (or attack.. I haven't decided which). The main issue is slightly odd, where by when he lies down his blood pressure is 165, when he stands up it's only 120. That seems very peculiar.. can't imagine what causes that. He also appears to have lost a slight sense of taste and has to monitor his water/fluid intake. However, from a personal perspective, he's essentially normal.

Just chuffed to bits he's still around really, but that's the second time in his life he's had a life threatening injury, a second time he's gone in the medical journal for a miraculous recovery in a couple of days or so due to self healing (first time was lung issues) and the second time he's completely injury free and no different than prior (or 99%).

:)


What a great Xmas gift. :thumbup:

Merry Xmas mate. Great news.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 3:02 am 
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Not this thread in particular but when my sister in law passed away a couple of years ago this place was a great place to vent and the support and sympathy really helped. This place can seem like a lunatic asylum at times but when the chips are down PR really comes through for you.

Merry Xmas to all. :thumbup:


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 3:35 am 
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feckwanker wrote:
I suppose that there are certain things that put your life in perspective and what I heard yesterday was one of them.

My wife's boss'es (about 35) wife (she 33) gave birth to a child last Thursday. She died from an infection two days ago.

I don't even know the man but I'm devastated for him. My wife is very very upset. Hold your loved ones dear guys - every moment is precious.


Did the wife die? Horrific.

Wishing you all a good one, ladies and gents.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 10:14 am 
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GWO2 wrote:
I`m glad I can come on here and tell my feelings as there is no way I would worry my children by burdening them with them.It is getting harder each day to watch my wife`s memory slip away (she has early onset of Alzhiemers disease).I have found it is no use trying to correct her when she remembers something that is wrong, as she gets so angry. I try and keep a brave face and tell her things are not as bad as she thinks, but, I find I am close to tears for the least thing all the time. She goes up to bed early each night and I often break down into tears when she`s in bed. The slightest thing can set me off, I was just looking on F/B and someone posted a link for Andrea Botcelli and Sarah Brightman singing Time to Say Goodbye and it`s started me off again. Fortunately, I suffer from extreme coughing bouts that leave me with red tear filled eyes so on the rare time she has caught me I can just tell her I have been coughing. But it really is getting hard to cope. If I get any worse I`ll have to get medical help.
Not looking for sympathy, just need to tell someone. I feel better already just writing it down on here.


Yeah. Good thing you have those violent coughing fits....

This thread! I don’t know if I have the courage to match any of you. Blew me away.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 11:45 am 
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I particularly dislike Xmas so it's always a struggle on the day.

Luckily having a new dog is helping a lot.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 1:53 pm 
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Last year was the first Christmas without my kids and I thought that was one of the worst experiences ever. I have limited contact with them, but the longing for them is just amplified over the festive period.
This year, in addition to not being with them, I'm actually working as well.
I made a lot of mistakes (which put me in the position I'm in), but I wouldn't wish this on my enemies.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 2:42 pm 
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Sydvicious wrote:
Last year was the first Christmas without my kids and I thought that was one of the worst experiences ever. I have limited contact with them, but the longing for them is just amplified over the festive period.
This year, in addition to not being with them, I'm actually working as well.
I made a lot of mistakes (which put me in the position I'm in), but I wouldn't wish this on my enemies.

My bil doesn't see his kids and it is eating him up from the inside.
Stay strong mate


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2020 4:00 am 
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Does...anyone have experience with this?

Lately I feel unexplained nerves and jitters, especially at night. It feels like that feeling you have when (for example) you need to give a big presentation and you're not a natural public speaker. That type of feeling. Almost like I'm on edge about something and I don't even know what. It makes me feel like shit, especially since it doesn't go away when I'm trying to sleep. Lying in bed trying to sleep when you feel nervous and jittery makes for a bad nights sleep let me tell you. I also feel...twitchy too, like random limb will just twitch which is a problem trying to sleep also. My wife has noticed something is off about me also lately but I don't really engage with her about it.

Sorry, kinda hard to explain. But I'm sitting here at 9pm with no work all week (holiday) and I should be as relaxed as hell but I feel the total opposite.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2020 6:01 am 
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Anxiety.

I had it for the first time last year. Horrendous


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2020 6:06 am 
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Lay off the caffeinated drinks after lunch and perhaps try cannabis?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2020 7:41 am 
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Anxiety and is very challenging to deal with.

I find excessive alcohol and lack of sleep make mine worse.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:04 am 
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Anxiety seems to be one of the most misunderstood issues. I know a few people who have it and it affects all ages.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 4:20 am 
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This thread is kinda depressing.....

So i went over to the drinking thread..... then i realized it was only about NOT drinking.... Wow, that got me pretty down in a hurry....

So i came back here...

Whats new... did i miss anything ?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 4:22 am 
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moosehead wrote:
Anxiety and is very challenging to deal with.

I find excessive alcohol and lack of sleep make mine worse.


Yes, exactly what triggers me too.
Problem is that i am borderline alcoholic and alcohol makes me not sleep...
Then i get anxiety which leads to depression..

So basically i am f...ed.... as there is no way i want to quit drinking....

Drinking and excercising are the only 2 hobbies ... i share with my wife...


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 6:27 am 
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moosehead wrote:
moosehead wrote:
Anxiety and is very challenging to deal with.

I find excessive alcohol and lack of sleep make mine worse.


Yes, exactly what triggers me too.
Problem is that i am borderline alcoholic and alcohol makes me not sleep...
Then i get anxiety which leads to depression..

So basically i am f...ed.... as there is no way i want to quit drinking....

Drinking and excercising are the only 2 hobbies ... i share with my wife...

Hey moose
Is all ok?
You appear to be in a conversation with yourself
Talking about drinking/ borderline alcoholic etc
Don’t give up on the drinking thread it’s very good
Alcohol is terrible for anxiety, try to cut back on it


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 6:55 am 
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Winnie wrote:
moosehead wrote:
moosehead wrote:
Anxiety and is very challenging to deal with.

I find excessive alcohol and lack of sleep make mine worse.


Yes, exactly what triggers me too.
Problem is that i am borderline alcoholic and alcohol makes me not sleep...
Then i get anxiety which leads to depression..

So basically i am f...ed.... as there is no way i want to quit drinking....

Drinking and excercising are the only 2 hobbies ... i share with my wife...

Hey moose
Is all ok?
You appear to be in a conversation with yourself
Talking about drinking/ borderline alcoholic etc
Don’t give up on the drinking thread it’s very good
Alcohol is terrible for anxiety, try to cut back on it




Cheers for looking out for me. I don't drink work nights... ?

When i was younger i had no clue this monster called anxiety would hit me as i got older... started approx at 40 ish.
My anxiety is pretty much 100% centred around the well being of my daughters. My daughters are doing great. Uni degrees / careers and great fiancees... But over the years i had alot of anxiety over their uni work, cars, apartments... basically about their safety...
I guess they are my little girls... Now in their mid 20's i think i can relax and trust that they are safe and capable of taking care of themeselves.... My anxiety has decreased but i get older i feel like my resiliance is way lesss. I don't handle bad days or small problems as well as did younger... Maybe that is what aging does to us all ?

Did i mention..i drink to escape my anxiety... When i get drunk i no longer feel my anxiety...
Of course the next day i wake up and it is MUCH worse...
I wonder if this how people become alchoholics...... is it caused by their anxiety..... hmmmmmm ? Am i wrong ?

OK - rant over.

Thanks winnie for listening to me. People on PR always seem to be there for each other.....


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