In the spirit of unburdening. I would have to say that the last five or six years have been a bit of a mare. With a bastard of a boss (We had a staff turnover over 3 years of 400%), health problems (Cancer for me, and my Brother. Remitting/relapsing MS for my wife, and a major hysterectomy for her as well) things could have gone smoother.
So now, at the end of 2019, our health problems seem to be mostly behind us. The MS is in check, the cancer is done and I am now in a great job, with great people and a great boss, and midway through December, I just tanked emotionally. I was so far down, and for no apparent reason apart from the possibility that the last 6 years took way more of a toll than I thought. So I saw a counsellor (Which my new job paid for!), who referred me to my GP. Turns out, I'm depressed. Clinically. Who would have thought as I seem like a happy go lucky guy!
Anyway, I am now on antidepressants. Low Dose, 1/2 a tab a day. Have been since Xmas Eve. The change has been huge. The anxiety has dropped, I'm more sociable, more assertive. After a week, My tastebuds seemed to reboot. I was tasting food again and I hadn't realized I had stopped tasting food. I don't explode at the kids. We laugh, smile. Honestly, it has been a revelation.
Having to turn to this sort of solution was something I never thought I would do. We try to be staunch and power our way through, but I have to say, that even though I am at the start of this process, I should have done it long ago. I am starting to realise what an immense strain I must have been for my family. It feels good to be able to do right by them as well.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. It could be the best thing you can do for yourself, and for those around you.
Glad you're getting help, and that it's working. That first step of asking for help is difficult. I always feel that the line people draw between physical and mental health is something we all need to break down - if your body wasn't producing enough of a certain chemical that made your kidneys work properly, you'd have no problem seeking help and taking medicine, so when your body isn't producing enough seratonin to make your brain function correctly, what's the difference?
I always struggle a bit this time of year, a bit of low grade depression. Lot of it based around the fact I'm pushing fifty, no wife, no kids, and in the run up to xmas, tv and advertising seems designed to designate someone like me a failure in life. Most of the time I know that's not the case and I have good friends and family, but it can still get to me. Lack of daylight and miserable weather in Scotland might also be a factor of course...